***************** Chapter 4 *******************

Clary locked the door to her room and flew herself onto the bed. She hated that she cried so easily and was proud that she was able to hold the tears a bay till now. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of anyone; especially in front of Jace. His words pulled at her heart more than she would like to admit. It pained her that he didn't think that she was pretty or that he didn't think of her as a girl. For some reason that hurt her more than anything physically ever could. She wanted him to see her as a women. If she ever wanted any man's attention it was Jace's. Jonathan had been right when he had told that if you really wanted to hurt someone, mess with their head. Clary couldn't help but think how Jace might be right in what he said a few minutes ago.

Clary didn't get dressed up or wear makeup. Come to think of it she really didn't know how to do makeup really well. Sure she could look pretty when she wanted to but dressing up just wasn't her style. Would Jace prefer girls who did doll themselves up? Come to think of it she had never seen him flirt with any girls when she was around. She heard stories about him when Jonathan and he went to Paris alone one weekend but she never saw it for herself.

Jace wasn't stupid he must see how she feels. He wants her gone so she can grow up and clear her head. Maybe going away would make her realize that having feelings for him was completely inappropriate. He was just trying to let her down easy. Though if he thought she would be dismissed so easily then he was mistaken. Clary tried to calm her breathing and get a hold of herself. She would go to this stupid school and became a well, she guessed, a woman. Then he couldn't help but fall in love with her right? After a few minutes she stopped crying. She was about to go into the bathroom and throw water on her face when she heard a knock on the door.

"Clary." Jace called.

Clary froze. Jace was literally the last person on Earth she wanted to see right now. She would rather see Valentine or fight a demon than 'talk' to him right now. She heard him try the handle and was grateful that she had locked the door.

"Clary open the door please. I want to apologize."

No! I can barely think straight! Not now!

"Jace, just leave me alone please. I don't want to talk to you right now." She replied.

Jace sighed and started to grab the stele from his pocket. He was going to use an opening ruin if he had to. He had to talk to her and make this right.

"Please Clary. I'm sorry! You don't have to go. We will think of something!" he begged.

Clary had never wanted to avoid anyone so much in her entire life as she did at this moment. She was too emotional and still very much attracted to him. This conversation would either result in her crying or making a move on him. She couldn't afford or stomach either of those outcomes right now. She saw a flash in her mind as the picture of a new ruin came to her. She grabbed her Stele and drew the symbol for portal on her bedroom wall.

It worked! Oh thank the angel!

Clary could hear her door begin to open slowly. She quickly leapt through the portal and disappeared.

************Line Break *************

Clary felt weightless as her body traveled though the blue light. It was scary and completely disorientating. It lasted only a moment before she landed hard and slammed against a banister. When she got up on her feet she looked up only to find a cat looking down at her.

"Well, how nice of you to drop on by." A voice called out.

Clary's eyes followed the voice and saw two people sitting on a long sectional. Her mother was sitting next to a young man with jet black hair and cat green eyes. He was the one who must have called out to her. Clary's mother stood up quickly and looked at her daughter.

"Clarissa! What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Mom?" Clary whispered blinking her eyes to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

"I don't know how I got here. I just pictured this place in my mind and jumped through the portal. Have I been here before? It seems familiar..."

Clary's mother's face fell. Clary couldn't help but feel guilty like it was something she did that upset her.

"Yes my darling. You have been here before."

With that the young man got up from his seat and walked over to her. He leaned down and examined her face closely.

"I haven't seen you since you were a little girl." The man said wrapping his arms around her.

"Who are you?" Clary asked.

"Who am I? What do you mean who are you? My name is Magnus Bane surely you haven't forgotten your favorite warlock Clarissa!"

"But…"

"Clary dear take a seat. There is something that I must tell you." Her mother called.

******************Line Break ******************

Clary's mother had explained everything to her and afterwards Clary couldn't help but feel sick. She knew that her mother had run away and did what she had to do to stay hidden…but she would have never guessed that her mother would go as far as blocking her sight in order to "keep her safe." A part of her felt down right betrayed and angry. How dare she try to keep the world she loved and whose power flew through her veins away from her. She struggled to control her temper.

She told her mother that it had been a long day and she was just ready to sleep. It seemed like a good excuse to leave and deal with her anger away from her mother and Magnus's preying eyes. Magnus had offered to let her stay the night here but she refused. She just wanted to go home and see Jonathan. Jonathan made everything better. After much insisting she finally managed to talk her mother into letting her leave.

Clarissa leaned down and drew the portal ruin with her Stele.

"Very impressive!" Magnus cooed.

Jocelyn's face was vacant. She knew her mother hated that she was different; that Valentine had corrupted both of her children before she could get out. Clary brushed that thought to the side for now. She was still upset and didn't need her judgement more clouded with pity.

"Bye mom." Clarissa called.

Jocelyn kissed her daughter on the cheek before quietly walking away.

"I love you darling and I think that getting away from the house for a few months will be good for you. You need to grow into your own person away from your father and crazy brothers."

Clary nodded. She had made up her mind about leaving before she came here but it was nice to hear that her mother supported her decision. Magnus came and gave her a quick hug.

"Don't be a stranger." He whispered in her ear.

Clary nodded and took a step towards the portal. She concentrated intently picturing her brother's messy room before taking that last step through. She felt the familiar rush and feeling of dizziness as she propelled through space. In a moment she finally landed safely in her brother's bedroom. Of course her landing was anything but graceful. She hit the floor and managed to roll before landing on feet. Not the best but it would have to do. Of course all intentions of not waking up Jonathan were ruined though when she saw her brother wide awake sitting on his bed looking down at her.

"That's a cool trick." Her brother grinned impressively. He wasn't often impressed and a part of her ego smiled at his compliment.

"How long have you been able to do that?" he asked.

Clary plopped down next to him on the bed.

"Not long. I just learned how to do it for the first time today." She replied.

Jonathan sighed and kicked off his boots. Clary followed suit.

"Well," he said as he laid down pulling Clary into his chest. "Now that you have calmed down, can we talk about what happened and we are going to do about it?"

Clary nuzzled her head into his shoulder. Breathing in the scent of his citrus cologne.

"I'm going to go." She whispered. Jonathan's body tightened as his arms gripped her tightly. "I want to go Jonathan. I talked to mom too. She thinks it will be good for me and now that I can make portals I can visit you every night if you want."

"Is this really what you want? To be away from me and Jace for months?" he asked.

"Yes. I think some space will be good for all of us. Plus I won't be away for too long and I can always visit whenever you miss me." She smiled.

"That will be everyday your gone." He frowned.

They lay in silence a while each lost in their own thoughts. After what seemed like forever she felt her brother's body relax. He kissed her on the forehead and closed his eyes sleepily.

"You and Jace are perhaps the only people that I truly care about in this entire world. I don't want you to leave but if that is what you honestly want than I will support you. As long as I get to see you often, than everything should be alright."

"Thank you," she smiled. She wondered how she was going to tell Jace. Hell, she wondered when she would even have the courage to show her face again. She pushed these thoughts away quickly. For now she needed to relax and get some sleep. She leaned back in against his chest just like old times and fell fast asleep wrapped in his warm embrace.

**********Line Break ************

Clary looked up into his golden eyes and smiled. They were running through a meadow of flowers and they ended up falling down the hill laughing the entire way down. Things suddenly turned serious when Jace landed on top of her. Her breath caught as a blush rushed to her checks as she felt the weight of his body encase her. He looked down at her laying in the grass beneath him. His smiling was dazzling as he leaned down softly pressing his lips against hers. Her body felt lit up pure electricity as she kissed him back religiously. She wanted to show him that she felt the same way. The kiss deepened as his hands started moving down her body. She liked it and wanted more so she encouraged him by lightly digging her nails into his arms. She knew she shouldn't be feeling this way but she couldn't help it. Her body jumped as the meadow faded and she opened her eyes to find herself back in Jonathan's room.

Something wasn't right. Her body felt different but good; really good. She felt her body coil up as waves of pleasure swept through her as a moan escaped from her lips. She was trying to catch her breath while her mind was slowly reeling back to reality. She felt Jonathan chuckle beside her as he kissed the pulse of her neck. She had never been touched that way and her body reeled in delight as his lips touched her skin.

"I'm glad you enjoyed that sister." He whispered seductively into her ear.

Clary tried to sit up but was pinned down by her brother's arms. She looked down and saw that her shirt was pulled up to just below her breasts exposing her stomach. This would have been enough to make her face red but it failed in comparison when her eyes followed her brothers arm. His hand was in her underwear and his fingers were gently massaging her again.

"Jonathan stop." She moaned trying to shrug him off.

"Come on Clary. Were just fooling around. I'm not going to go all the way with you." He smiled. "Plus I think it's time you learned how to pleasure your body. Especially before you leave to become some…I believe you said bimbo." He joked.

"Jonathan!" she panted trying to keep her voice stern but failing miserably.

"You're my brother." She pushed the words out.

"Don't say that it bothers you Clary. I am not stupid. I know you better than anyone and I see how you look at Jace. You call him your brother but you don't really mean it. I heard you say his name in your sleep and I see the way you look at him. How you blush whenever he pins you to the ground during sparing." He replied.

Clary could barely think straight as Jonathan's fingered increased their speed.

"Jonathan," she moaned.

She had meant it as a warning but it came out as a seductively plea. She didn't know that her voice could ever sound like that. Jonathan's reply was a seductive growl as he pressed his manhood against her. She could feel how turned on he was through their clothes and it made her sick but her head was too much in a fog to really form cohesive thoughts.

"You are mine," he breathed in her ear as he pressed the tip of his middle finger into her. That was all it took for her to come completely undone. She stifling her moan by burying her face into his chest. It took her a moment to finally gain her composure.

"I am not yours Jonathan. You are my brother and I am your sister. I don't feel that way about you or Jace regardless what you may think." She countered pulling his hand out of her pants.

"You can lie to everybody including yourself Clarissa but you can't lie to me. Jace is a good man. If it was any other guy I would chop his legs off but Jace, Jace is different. I know it can't be me so I would accept it if it was him."

Clary couldn't believe her ears. Jonathan wanted her to get with Jace. She looked up and met his eyes. She wasn't fooling him at all. She blushed and dropped her gaze. Jonathan laughed and Clary punched him in the side.

"If you say anything to him I will hurt you so badly Jonathan." She spat.

"I would like to see you try sis!" he grinned.

"Oh I'll do more than try. I will devote my life to making yours hell so help me!" she glared.

"I'm part demon. Hell would probably be like a vacation for me or something!" he laughed.

Clary was not going to win this argument so she started pouting.

"Why are you so worried my love? Jace isn't blind. You honestly don't think he already knows how you feel?"

Clary's eyes grew wide as she sucked in a deep breath.

"Don't worry my darling sister. You are beautiful, smart and talented. Our Jace isn't a complete idiot." He said.

Clary hoped he was right. Maybe Jace was starting to develop romantic feelings for her as well? Jonathan was giving her hope but hope was dangerous; very dangerous.

"I'm going to go take a shower." She said getting up.

"Sure you don't want another go around? I can do lots of things with my tongue that would make what I just did to you look like child's play." Jonathan replied cockily.

Clary looked at him horrified. Her brother's demon blood always hindered him when it came to understanding some human emotions but apparently it transgressed into boundaries as well.

"Jonathan you are my biological brother. What you did tonight is not right. Please don't touch me that way again."

Jonathan rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.

"We have already had this discussion before. You are not a demon, I don't care what you say, we are both humans and humans don't do things like that with their siblings." She argued.

"The bible doesn't expressly say that it is a sin Clarissa. Surely Adam and Eve's children married and then there is the whole book of Solomon." Jonathan retorted.

"Leviticus 18:6 states that, 'None of you shall approach any one of his close relatives to uncover nakedness.' So there Jonathan!" She replied.

"Well you weren't naked yet." He grinned.

Clary grunted and gave him the coldest look she could muster. It seemed to work because Jonathan looked down defeated and sighed.

"If that is what you want than I will respect that. I honestly don't see the problem given how tainted our blood is but if you're not comfortable than I will accept it."

Clary smiled.

"Thank you Jonathan." She said as she turned to leave the room.

"Clary," Jonathan called once more. She turned around to look at him.

"I'm pretty sure Jace is holding back just like you are. Life if short. You might as well go for it before father tries to push you into marrying someone else. I meant what I said, if it's not me than it should be him."

Clary thought for a moment and nodded before leaving the room.