***************** Chapter 5 *******************
Jocelyn watched her daughter leave through the portal with bated breath. She could tell her daughter was upset with her. She didn't blame her. She just hoped that she knew how much she loved her. Jocelyn blamed herself for Valentine finding them. They had stayed in one place too long. She should have been more careful.
Her husband had imprisoned her in their room for months. She was not allowed to leave the room until he felt like she was truly his again. He didn't love her, no those feelings had left him long ago. He saw her as a possession. She remembered fighting him trying to get through the door to see to their screaming daughter. If it wasn't for Clary and admittedly Jonathan, she would probably still be locked in that room. Valentine hadn't tortured her physically but he probably would have after a certain amount of time. He was patient but everyone has their limits.
Jocelyn had a choice. She could either go along with his plans and be the helpless girl he had married or she could be a spy. He would have done what he needed to her in order to find out where the cup was. Nothing would be spared in his quest for blood, not even his children. Of course Jocelyn pretended to fall back madly in love with him. She cried and begged him to forgive her. She also told him where she had hidden the cup. He was cautious the first few years but things got better. Though, of course he didn't trust her fully. That is why he made her stay with his top two guards at all times she was out of the house.
They were looking for the cup in New York City. Of course that is what Emil and Samuel thought. She had come to New York to meet up with her old friend Magnus Bane. She had told Valentine enough of the truth to make it believable but with a few smudges here and there. She had chosen the correct person to give it to. Madame Dorothea was a mundane and could blend into their world easily. He was still not able to find her although Magnus knew exactly where she was. She never knew where exactly and never wanted to in case Valentine tried to force it out of her.
She couldn't let her husband get the cup and she couldn't give it back to the Clave. Valentine was right about one thing. The Clave was incompetent and wouldn't listen to reason. It was up to her but at what cost? Clary was being raised by a mad man. Jace's parents were dead and Jonathan her birth son was made to suffer worst of all. Valentine had told her son that she left him because he was a monster. Even though she did believe that Jonathan was a monster she would have never left him. However, by the time Valentine found them his mind had already been twisted. She knew that no matter what she did Jonathan was lost to her and Jace was so cautious that he would never truly be her son. Still she loved both of the boys and did what she could to spare them from their father as much as possible.
Jonathan was powerful, handsome and confident. Still, Jocelyn knew better and kept a close eye on him. He didn't possess his father's prejudices but he also didn't have Valentine's restraint when it came to life. Her son was more powerful than his father and Valentine knew it. Demon blood doesn't turn one into a monster. She had met many witches and warlocks like Magnus and Tessa to prove that. Demon blood didn't turn her baby into a monster, Valentine did.
"So," Magnus spoke. "It looks like it is about time to unfreeze your friends."
Emil and Samuel were petrified in the foyer. She would have to unfreeze them soon before too much time elapsed. Jocelyn sighed and nodded reluctantly. Magnus began walking with her to the foyer.
"I know it is none of my business but I can't help but ask why Clary was so upset? I know siblings have fights. I hear it is common even. Why get so worked up?" he asked. Jocelyn looked up and met his gaze.
"Jace isn't her blood brother and I think the fight had little to do with the finishing school. She has been frustrated a lot lately. I use to think it was just her being a teenager but then I started to see something more. I think she has feelings for her adoptive brother." She stated firmly. Magnus looked taken back.
"A little crush on a blonde angel boy? I can't blame the girl!" he laughed. Jocelyn didn't laugh. There was a seriousness to her.
"I think it is more than just a crush. Clary doesn't let things like that get to her. She isn't boy crazy and has shown no interest in any boy before. She even fights Valentine when he pushes her. These feelings are something she has been fighting against for a while now. Of course that is just from when I started to notice it. Who knows how long she had felt that way about him?" she replied. Magnus stopped walking.
"Do you think it is inappropriate that she would feel this way about her brother?"
Jocelyn hesitated.
"I don't know to be honest. Jace has always been a wonderful boy since I met him. I would be hard pressed to find someone better. If that is who made her happy than I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's not like she is in love with Jonathan."
Magnus wrapped his arm around her. She looked startled.
"I think you are making the right choice by the way. I know you are beating yourself up for not running away taking the children with you but I think it will all be for the best if our plan works out." He spoke soothingly.
Jocelyn smiled. "Thank you."
Jocelyn smiled but her mind was elsewhere. She couldn't help remembering the small book she came across in the library one morning. She had been completely disgusted with her husband. It had been a notebook about Jonathan and Jace with they were little. She had confronted Valentine about it. He pretended to feel guilty but had still come clean about everything about the demon blood and the angel blood. It was at that moment that she had noticed the way that Clary and Jace interacted. It was clear that they both had feelings for each other. They were trying to fight the attraction that sang in the blood that flew through their very veins. Blood sings to blood Valentine once told her when they tied Jace and Clary's hand together one day after they had had enough of the pranks they were constantly pulling on each other. Blood calls to blood.
"Jace." Clary whispered.
Jace was out cold laying on her bed. He opened his eyes and saw Clary looking down at him. Her hair was wet and she was dressed in a shirt and short shorts. Clary was the kind of girl who was beautiful and didn't know it. She had a natural beauty. He half way opened his eyes and yawned. He reached up and pulled her against his chest. Clary froze. A few minutes passed before she felt his breathing shallow once again and his chest rise and fall fast asleep. Clary exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
She had two choices. She could wake him up for real this time and potentially have a very uncomfortable conversation or she could stay like this and fall asleep in Jace's arms. She decided that option one was bound to happen either way and she might as well enjoy option two now. Clary repositioned herself slightly and intertwined her legs with his. She pushed her guilt and self-consciousness to the side and before long she was fast asleep.
Neither of them heard Jonathan open the door and quietly close it.
Jace was the first to wake up. He felt warm, calm and happy. It had taken him a few minutes after opening his eyes to register where he was. He had fallen asleep on Clary's bed waiting for her to come home. He heard light breathing and turned his head to look at his sister sleeping cuddled up close to him. She must have come in in the middle of the night and laid down with him. He wondered why she hadn't woken him up or yelled at him to get out.
He gazed at her sleeping face for a few minutes studying every detail. She was soft and beautiful. Her long red hair fell over her shoulders and hid her chest which was scantly covered by a tank top. She looked peaceful and he wanted to touch her. From the day he met her he had felt connected with her somehow. When he got older things started to change. That closeness was turning into something stronger. He often found himself wanting to kiss her or do things to her that brothers should want to protect their sisters from letting boys do to them.
He often had dreams about her. They were in a meadow of flowers in bloom playing some silly kid game. They ended up losing their footing and tumbling down the small hill. He would always land on top of her and then he would kiss her. Those dreams had scared him at first because he didn't think she would kiss him back. Now they scared him for an entirely different reason. If he was ever to act upon those feelings his father would banish him. Hell he might even kill him or let Jonathan do it. Though now it seemed like Jonathan wanted him to be with Cary.
Everything was confusing and he was trying to shrug the feeling off. He didn't let Clary sleep with him anymore when things changed and hadn't for 5 years. Now, here he was, in bed with the girl of his dreams literally who happened to be his adoptive sister. Someone was clearly having a joke at his expense.
Jace moved his hand and caressed Clary's face. His fingers lightly brushed down her jaw and ended at her lips. Clary's eyes opened and looked at him completely wide awake. Damn it! Jace froze. He had been caught and was trying desperately to think of something to say. Though, all of his clever one liners seemed to disappear into thin air in this situation.
She had been awake for a while now. Clary looked up into his eyes deeply. She felt as if the window to her soul was shining as clear as glass through her eyes. She lowered her wall and for the first time in years she could see his lower too. The walls were down and the emotions exchanged needed no words. Her lips parted slightly and he could hear her heart beat accelerate to meet his own. It was a question in its purest form and not stained with petty desire. She wanted him to kiss her. Any other time Jace might have walked away, pushed her from his thoughts or tell her that it wasn't right. That wasn't going to happen today. He leaned down and kissed her softly.
Clary's body rose as she met his lips with her own. Each kiss begged another one. They must have been laying there for a while. Every touch seemed to become deeper and more passionate until Jace broke it off. He looked down at her as she tried to catch her breath. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes filled with wild passion.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Clary knew he meant kissing her and not about their fight yesterday. She looked at him drawing everything in from his golden eyes to how his muscles in his arms flexed. He started to move off the bed to leave. She instinctively placed her hands on his chest gripping his shirt lightly.
"Jace," she whispered. "I liked it….Please don't go." She pleaded.
Jace met her gaze and looked down. He loved her but what did it matter. He was her brother and her parents would kick him out if they knew what he just did. Then where would he go then? They were too young to get married and even if they did he couldn't support her. Where would they go that Valentine or Jonathan wouldn't find them? It wasn't practical or even possible. Not to mention he still wasn't sure if it was ethically right.
"Clary we shouldn't be doing this. I'm technically your brother. What would your parents think?"
"I-," she hesitated. "I guess I don't really care."
Jace looked surprised. He obviously wasn't expecting that answer.
"Don't tell me you don't feel the same way. Tell me that I am not crazy for falling in love with you." She begged.
"No, you're not crazy." He replied. Clary smiled.
"You're not crazy but I don't think it is love you feel." He sighed. Clary raised her eyebrows. She wasn't an idiot. She knew what love was.
"I'm pretty sure I know what love is Jace."
"You may think you do but what if you're wrong. You want me to kiss you, hold you, and be with you; but you don't know if that is love or if it is your blood do you?"
Clary looked taken aback for a moment. She had never thought about her attraction being an effect of the blood they shared. Could she really be wrong about everything?
"I think the love we feel for each other as siblings might be getting mixed up with the attraction our blood holds. Blood calls to blood Clary and if we did go all the way what would be left after the blood lust wears off?" he argued. Clary was silent.
"Embarrassment and disappointment. I don't want to lose the relationship with my sister if this is not…romantic love." He looked down in pain.
He was right of course. It might ruin their relationship and she knew that Jace wouldn't and possibly couldn't risk that. Jonathan and she were all he had. He couldn't risk losing the only family that he had ever known. She sighed.
"I've decided to go to that school. Sometime apart might be good for us till we figure things out at least." She frowned.
Jace just nodded in agreement. Clary reached out and cupped his face in her hands.
"I will be leaving in two days and today is my birthday." She whispered. Jace looked back at her confused.
"Please kiss me one last time. I know I'm being selfish and it might just be our blood calling but…. I just want this moment to last a little bit longer before you leave and we go back to pretending it never happened. "
Jace looked down and seemed to think for a moment. He then leaned in, closed his eyes, and kissed her. This kiss was very different from the last. The last kiss was free and open. This one was guarded and cautious but she didn't mind. It was him and despite knowing it could all just be blood lust, she enjoyed it. When he finally pulled away it was all she could do to hold back the tears. He left without a word closing the door softly behind him.
Clary heard her phone buzz. She looked and saw she received a text message from her brother. He probably heard Jace leave and wanted to see how things went. She wasn't in the mood. She locked her bedroom door and went into her adjoining bathroom locking that door behind her as well. She turned on the water, stripped her clothes off and stepped in. She sat down in the tub and let her tears fall.