The next day was a lot brighter for Shawn. The little talk he had with Lassiter made a huge difference in his outlook and it showed. It made Henry's heart happy to see his son act more and more like his old self.
Shawn spent the day laughing and carrying on with his normal array of visitors. Henry was still not ready to go home again and leave his boy, but he was feeling better then he was the day before.
That evening when the doctor came in to see Shawn he came bearing some news. He pulled his chair next to Shawn's bed and said, "I have a colleague who will be in town for three days. She is a highly skilled reconstructive surgeon and when I told her about you she would like to try and reconstruct your damaged trachea. The surgery is not guaranteed and with as many issues as you have had with your heart, I would normally never suggest you do it but having her do the surgery is your best shot at getting off of life support and I don't want you to miss out on that. The only downside is she will have to do it in the morning."
Henry and Shawn looked at each other. Shawn looked at his Dad with a mixture of excitement and horror. Henry asked the doctor, "Be honest doc, how risky would this surgery be?"
The Doctor sighed trying to find the right answer, "I won't lie it is pretty risky Shawn is still pretty fragile, but if we don't do this surgery, with this woman it may be MONTHS, if ever we are able to remove the trach tube. Listen you two talk about it, but I will need your answer by 10 tonight."
Shawn signed, "Thank you." Henry got up and shook the doctors hand. He was walking him out and he stopped before he left and told Henry, "This is the best chance Shawn has at being normal again. He will never be able to chase bad guys again if he has that trach tube in him. Please think hard about the surgery."
Henry smiled and said, "I promise we will think long and hard about it." The doctor smiled and then left the two men alone to talk.
Henry sat back in his chair and asked Shawn what he thought about the surgery. Shawn had a serious look of concentration on his face and signed, "Dad, I know it is risky but if you will help me do something tonight, I think I would really like to try the surgery. I want more than anything to be able to talk again and work at Psych again. It is really scary but hey, compared to everything else I have been through it really isn't."
Henry was conflicted, he wanted Shawn to have his old life back but he was so terrified of loosing him he would be happy just to have him by his side. Henry asked, "What do you want my help to do?"
Shawn was quiet for a minute, "I want to write a letter to everyone as sort of my will, just in case." Henry got really fidgety, he wanted to scream and yell or maybe just sit and cry but he knew right now his boy needed him to be strong and help him do this.
He agreed and went out to the nurses' desk and got a couple of pens and some paper and sat next to Shawn and said, "Okay Son, I am ready, remember sign slow, I don't have your kind of memory."
Shawn cracked his fingers and began;
Gus, Thank you so much for being my best friend. You were always there for me and I could never thank you enough. If this surgery doesn't go well and I die, (Henry had to swallow hard here to keep from crying), I want you to have all my records and all of my toys and I want you to have my Norton, or what is left of it. Fix it up and learn to ride it and when you ride down the road and feel the wind in your face know that I am in that wind giving you a fist bump from heaven.
Love you so much, (like a brother not a gay thing)
Shawn
Henry folded the letter up and put it in the envelope. He did this simple task very slowly to keep himself from breaking down. Then he grabbed another sheet of paper and sat ready for letter 2.
Juliet,
If this surgery doesn't go well, I guess we wont get to have our forever like we dreamed. Know that you were my first love. I went out with a lot of girls but you are the only one I would give up my bike for. If I die, cry for me and miss me but not for long, the one thing I wanted in my life was to make you happy and I could never rest in peace if you weren't happy. I want you to have my leather jacket, anything you want from my apartment and the box in my dads top drawer. I have been saving it for the right time but if I die, that time will never come but I still want you to have it, just like you have my heart.
My heart will always heart you,
Shawn
Henry had to stop for a minute after that one. He couldn't hold the tears off anymore and neither could Shawn. He took a deep breath and asked his Dad if he was ready he had 3 more to write. His Dad let out a deep breath and said, "Shoot"
Mom,
Thank you for telling me the truth about Dad and you. Thank you for kicking me and not letting me loose any more time with Dad. I forgive you for not being there when I was a kid. Know that I love you Mom, always and forever.
Love ,
Goose.
Henry sealed it in an envelope and asked Shawn, "What did your Mom tell you?" Shawn smiled, "That you were actually the good guy." He smiled at his Dad and held up the sign for I love you.
Henry got up and he hugged his son as tight as he dared with all the tubes and then picked up the paper, ok who next.
Detective Lassiter,
Thank you for being such a grumpy hard ass and not making things easy for me. I never liked the easy way, it got boring. Working with you was never boring. Over the last 7 years you became my friend and my brother. Thank you for being there to save my ass and well just being there. One last word to you detective, you astound me sir.
Your friend whether you like it or not,
Pain in the ass aka Shawn
Shawn was crying now and told his Dad one more. His Dad steadied himself thinking that this was his letter. He was shocked when Shawn signed,
Chief Vick and all my friends at the SBPD
Working with you amazing men and women was the highlight of my life. I enjoyed every minute I spent at work. You guys are my friends and you accepted me even if I didn't have a badge. Chief Vick, Thank you for believing in me and putting up with my crap. You are the best Chief there is.
I will miss you all hopefully God will let me open a Psych in heaven, but I guess there are no murderers or arsonurderes in heaven.
All my love and respect
Shawn.
Ps, tell Woody to make me look good for the funeral. Tell him I am counting on him.
His Dad finished and held his head low. He was trying not to show Shawn his tears but Shawn was just as teary. He closed up the letter just as Lassiter came in to sit with Shawn to let Henry go home. Henry wiped his eyes and kissed Shawn on the forehead and told him he would be back way before surgery tomorrow.
Lassiter was stunned and said, "What surgery?" Henry not wanting Lassiter to see him crying just said, "Ask him", and walked out.
Shawn and Lassie were left in the room and he asked why they were both crying and what surgery. Shawn told him everything and Lassie just said, "Oh" and got quiet. Shawn signed, "Dog L I need you to take down a letter for me." Lassiter picked up the pen and said sure. Shawn wiped his eyes and let out a deep breath.
Papa Monkey,
You are an amazing Dad. I know we fought a lot and got on each other's nerves but we knew that we loved each other. You have sat by my bed all my life but the last six weeks have meant the world to me. When I open my eyes and I see your face I know I am safe. You never stopped loving me even when I was pretty unlovable and you stood by me when I started Psych not because you believed in it but you knew it made me happy. Thank you for making me the man that I was. Everything good that was Shawn Spencer was because of you Dad. I love you so very much. Even if I am not here in the flesh know that I am never far from your heart.
Love, Shawnie your baby monkey.
Lassiter wiped his eyes and looked at Shawn and said, "What the hell was that?" Shawn smiled and said, "My last goodbye, just in case tomorrow doesn't go well."
(thank you for sticking with this LONG story. I went from whumping them to whumping you the reader lol There is one more chapter and an epilogue and that is it for Help 911. Please let me know what you think :D)