17.

What is love? What is a kiss? These are questions that people has spent centuries to answer, without being in the proximity of reaching the right answer. Suggestions has been relayed, yet no one has ever purely reached the rightness to the describe the feelings that ones feel when in love or expresses love in such a manner like kissing or simply feeling each others touch.

I think we never are going to really find, let alone understand meaning of love, but there is a quote by Pierre Corneille that keeps circling over and over in my mind, 'Reason and love are sworn enemies.'

Clarke didn't understand what was happening. No, wrong choice of words, she understood perfectly what was happening. Seriously, she was kissing Bellamy for god's sake, but the thing she couldn't comprehend what in god's name possessed her to do something so stupid and kissed the man, who not only was her ex but also couldn't stand being around her and was only staying at her house cause his protectiveness. But here she was kissing him like he was air supply that she desperately needed, wanted in order to breath.

Come on, Clarke. Don't be such a downer. Seriously, you might be the one who initiated the kiss, but he isn't so innocent either. He hasn't tried to pull away or reject your advances in any way, which was weird considering everything, but what was really weird was that instead of responding the way I assumed he would he actually kissed me back. Quite passionately I might add.

Her hands was still clutching his jacket, fighting to keep him grounded, meanwhile the rest of her was kissing him with tongue action and everything. Bellamy fell quickly back into their old kissing pattern, which included his eyes closed and his hands running everywhere on her body that he could get his hands on. No pun intended.

Nevertheless they were kissing each other, both apparently enjoying it seeing as neither of them had pulled away, but doing so made her think of something a lot more confusing than making-out with an old flame. Standing there with him, kissing him like she had done back in the day when everything was good and happy, it made her think whether she had really been living for the last three years or not. In the beginning she believed that, but kissing Bellamy made her realize that she hasn't really lived at all since she left. Being here, with Bellamy was like waking up from a horrible dream. And honestly, I'm afraid to wake up and realize that this moment right now is also a dream. The perfect dream that I never want to end or at the very least a dream that doesn't involve the dirtiness and cruelty of my reality.

However reason seemed to have caught up to her, which made her feel several different things all in a short time period, and she pulled away from him. She opened her eyes to look at him and saw several feelings showing in his eyes and his facial expression, but no words were given or exchanged between them. Instead they stood there staring at each other, simply confused about what had just happened like they were a couple of teenagers.

I have to leave. Get away from him, the house, and this situation. Those were the last things on her mind before she ran out of the room and out of the house in haste like the freaking devil was chasing her.

His fingers brushed his lips that were slightly swollen, but he barely acknowledged it since his mind was going haywire. What just happened? One moment Clarke was telling me that she trusted me, and then the next she kisses me senselessly. And I kissed her back! Then she runs away like we committed a sacrilege or something. Seriously, what's wrong with you, Blake?

Apparently a lot if he had to be honest, and even though he wasn't often given honesty especially in his profession where pretty much everybody tries to or lies constantly to avoid punishment he still valued honesty on high regard, even more so around the people closest to him. But nevertheless right now he felt so torn that he wasn't sure what exactly was the truth or what was the lie.

Hurt, angry, confused are some of the things that comes to mind. Bellamy thought to himself, as he picked up the pillow on the bed and threw it in an angry manner at the wall just to vent out his hurt and anger towards Clarke. But maybe what I'm more upset about with this whole thing is that despite the negative emotions I also feel love and warmth towards her that I had once felt in the past.

He wanted to believe that the kiss was a mistake, a fluke or just a heat of the moment thing that would just fade in the background, but if he had to be honest with himself then he had to admit that what had just happened was anything but a mistake. In fact it brought forth the exact thing that he had not wanted to deal with ever since Clarke returned back in town.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Bellamy mumbled, exasperated with himself over the whole issue. He sat down on the bed before he ran a hand on his forehead and brushed his hair backwards. "Why? Why did I think staying here, keeping her safe, was a good idea? God, apparently I am such an idiot for believing this was going to be simple."

No one answered him, but it seemed like fate had a say in the matter or at the very least made it a habit of using him as its own personal joke, because seconds after he said it his phone rang. There were only two options of who would call him at this very moment, the station or his sister, and based on this bad feeling he was feeling in his gut at the moment he was almost certain it wasn't the station calling him for whatever reason it may be. Even though he would have liked nothing more to be wrong about his assumption at this moment, considering he didn't want to explain to Octavia about Clarke. I guess I have to talk to her sooner or later, especially since I left our place leaving behind just a note with minimal to no information. God, she's probably pissed at me right now, which is really not something new since she's practically always pissed at me for whatever reason she can think about.

He sighed heavily before he seized the opportunity and answered the call. "Hey, O. What's up with you?"

"What's up with me? Seriously, Bell, what is wrong with you? You don't tell people that you are staying at your ex-fiancée's place by leaving a note and then walk away!"

"I'm sorry, O." Bellamy said defeated. "There wasn't a lot of time for me to inform you about the recent events and I figured that instead of waiting another attempt to hit I just keep Clarke safe until things calms down."

For a moment there was a pause. Not the I'm-understanding-this kind of pause, but the rather I'm-pissed-at-you-and-you're-making-a-huge-mistake kind of pause. And his assumption was confirmed correctly when Octavia hissed into his ear, "Are you a freaking idiot! You can't be serious about this!"

Geez, I can't imagine your opinion on that subject, sis. Bellamy thought, while rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Please O. Just support me on this."

He knew that his plead sounded needy and pathetic, but he couldn't give a damn about what his sister thought about the situation at the moment, simply because he couldn't risk Clarke and this case over his personal issues with Clarke or anything along those lines. "O, don't fight me on this, just accept that this is my choice and don't lecture me about it, okay?"

There was once again silence on the line, but this time she only sighed defeated. "Fine. I'll shut up and support this insanity, for now. But Bellamy promise me that you will be careful and don't fall in love with her all over again. You will only end up getting hurt."

He reassured her, and promised to be careful, and then hung up the phone shortly afterwards, but his sister's words were still lingering inside his brain. Don't fall in love with her all over again…unfortunately I think it already too late for that. Especially if I have come to realize my feelings for her has never stopped, despite my resentment and reluctance to admit said feelings, and by being around her again means I'm most likely going fall even deeper in love with than I already am. So in other words, I'm screwed.

Raven could list several things she expected to happen tonight, although Lincoln showing up at her door and offering her a painting that he believed would be perfect for her was certainly not one of them. This was clearly a ploy to get to know her and understand one of the people in Clarke's world, but nevertheless she liked the painting he had brought along and offered him a cup of coffee for his generous gift, which he accepted graciously and they drank coffee and had what most people would call a civil conversation. However if you asked her she would say that it was more of an interrogation to figure out who exactly this person was that was spending so much time with one of her best friends. I mean, seriously, who was this guy that Clarke put a lot of trust and faith in that he knew almost everything about her, including the stuff she didn't tell anyone else about like her and Bellamy?

However it turns out Clarke's choice in friends has at least one quality in common, being able to keep a secret, especially secrets that are made between Clarke. So the interrogation came to a certain point where no matter how much she picked and dug for information he would let up, not even slip anything about the Clarke he met and knew for the three years she didn't. Completely frustrating to know and actually get along with for a certain time period.

Anyways, if she had been surprised by Lincoln's impromptu visit, then she was most certainly blown away when her doorbell rang once again and she opened to see a bewildered, flustered and slightly panicked Clarke.

"Clarke? What are you doing here? Did something happen?" Her questions were frantic and filled with concern, hence why she immediately rushed to her friend's side, who by the way didn't seem to have heard or at all comprehended what was going on around her. Oh, boy. Something big must have happened if Clarke is barely responding to me. Which means it either has something to do with one of her cases she's working on and she's currently dealing with the inferno of it all or it has something to do with one of the people she cares about. However I can't tell which right now, but what's really important is to help my friend who clearly needs me right now.

She escorted Clarke inside and led her to the couch where Lincoln was sitting until he saw Clarke and instantly went into concerned-friend-mode like she was in. "What happened with her, Raven? Clarke, did someone try to hurt you or something?"

Her only response were to shrug her shoulder, annoyed and frustrated like it was her fault that their friend was like this, but luckily chose wisely to keep her mouth shut since his questions sort of woke Clarke up from her hazed-state of mind and said bluntly, "Tequila. I need a shot of tequila."

Excuse me? Raven blinked her eyes and almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did her friend, the responsible and no-nonsense woman, say she wanted to drink and presumably get wasted? Seriously, did she and Jasper all of a sudden switch places or something?

However despite her instant suspicion and concern, she did retrieve the tequila like she had been requested to do along with three shots glasses, filled them up and handed over to Lincoln and Clarke respectively. They drank together in silence, no one talking or joking about this weird situation that was currently happening right now, but after the third glass it seemed to have at least calmed Clarke down some since she sighed wearily after she put the glass on her coffee table. "God, I'm such an idiot…?"

Raven and Lincoln stared at her with interest, wondering if Clarke was ready to explain what was on her mind and what exactly happened that she needed to drink something strong in order to calm her nerves down a couple of notches.

"Clarke, did something happen with Bellamy again?" Lincoln asked carefully, which Raven reacted to immediately to by turning her gaze on him and stared at him in surprise. Bellamy? What about Bellamy? And what did he mean by again?

Clarke chuckled sadly and her face fell into her hands. "Yeah…I did what you suggested I should do, tell him that I trusted him and all that, and then out of nowhere I just grabbed and kissed him."

"Wow…" Those were the only words that could truly express what was going through her mind right now after hearing Clarke's confession. They kissed each other. These two, who could barely keep a civil conversation unless the circumstances called for it, kissed each other. Oh my God, this is great…or at least I hope it's great?

Raven pushed the joy and hysteria in her head aside, and tried to focus on the situation in front of her. Her friend admitted that she had kissed her ex-fiancé and acted like she had committed a crime in doing so, which made her wonder if the kiss went beyond that and that's why Clarke was reacting like she had made a terrible mistake. That is why she took a chance and asked as carefully as she could, "Okay…um…did you two have sex as well or?"

Clarke turned in one fast movement to look at her, clearly surprised and most of all exasperated over her assumption, and instantly jumped on it like an angry cat. "What! NO! We did not have sex." Then she stood up from the couch and began pacing back and forth in front of her and Lincoln.

Then why are you reacting like the thought of kissing the man, let alone sleeping with him, is such a terrible idea?

"So what seems to be the problem? I mean, you both are single and in clearly not over each other, so what is so bad about you kissing him and possibly getting back together with him?"

Clarke shook her head, with her hands almost covering her ear in attempt to shut out her voice or anything around her, and said in a hurried rant. "I can't! No matter how much I trust and love him I can't get back together with him, no matter how much I want to. I can't lose another person I love! I can't!"

Lose another person she loves? What the hell is she talking about?

Then she ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind her, ultimately ending the conversation from preceding any further.

Although Raven managed to catch a glimpse of tears falling down her friend's cheeks, she knew it was for the best to let Clarke be alone. When she was ready to talk to her or Lincoln again she would come to them, but until then they had to wait. Which is why Raven instantly turned her attention on Lincoln and attacked him with the many questions that have been circling around in her mind since Clarke's arrival. "How about you explain to me what exactly you know about Clarke and Bellamy? And if you want to keep your manhood intact I suggest you do it quickly before I have really lost my patience and hospitality."

Lincoln stared at her with wide eyes, not fully expressing it, but it was clear that he was at least slightly scared of her and took heed in her threat. "I will explain as much as I can, but for further explanation you'll have to talk to Clarke."

Raven agreed on his terms and silently leaned back on the couch, listening to Lincoln's explanation how Bellamy moved in to Clarke's house in order to protect her from whoever was trying to kill her and Clarke's conflicted feelings on the matter. When he was finished telling her the bare minimum of what he knew about everything regarding Clarke in general, her thoughts were circling over the question that probably was in everyone's minds including Bellamy's. Who is trying to kill her and why?

Somewhere else, two yet to be known people met up in the back-alley to talk about the failure from last night and what was to be done to prevent another failure like this.

"How hard can it possibly be to kill one single woman?" Person One said frustrated. "You were given the perfect opportunity to get rid of her and yet still she managed to trick you and escape from your grasp."

Person Two growled with the same level of frustration. "She looked dead or at the ever least unconscious to me, so don't act to high and mighty. You weren't the one who got nicked in the neck."

"Doesn't matter. Now she has secured herself a protector, someone who will most definitely make sure that another attempt on her life doesn't happen again, which means your job has gotten a lot harder."

There was a heavy pause between them, filled with tension that could literally break glass, but they both knew that they needed to do and what was at stake if Clarke Griffin continued to be alive and meddle into their business. "So what do you suggest we do?"

"Don't leave anything to chance." Person One replied firmly. "Once you catch her off-guard and alone, entrap her and then without hesitation use that gun and put a bullet straight through her skull."

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Thank you guys so much for the reviews, favorite and followings, and I'm glad so many of you got interested in my story. So I hope you guys like the this chapter, and the next one will be out next week.

Also I like to add that there are and will be grammar errors in this story, I had forgotten to mention before, and not a perfect writer and I don't have a Beta to fix it for me (which I have no intention on getting anyways), so if people have issues with that then you just have to live with it, okay? I write and release this mainly to entertain you guys as well release some of my creativity.

I used several references and quotes from movies, books and tv shows. So obviously I don't own them, but I will frequently use them since they fit the story somehow.

You all have asked and given me requests about more Bellarke scenes as well as progress in that relationship, Clarke/Lincoln scenes and what really happened at Mt. Weather, and I promise you that it all will happen in due time, so please be patient and hopefully I will manage to deliver your wishes to fulfill your anticipation for this story.

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