((Hello, everybody!
You don't know the pain of writing until you get an idea for a past chapter, but you can't edit the chapter because too many people have already seen it and you lost the original document online… This happens to me ALL the time for this story because I keep finding new glitches for earlier stages that need explaining. NNNGH. If anything, there will be bonus chapters or something at the end of each character's story to explain extra glitches, like getting out of the area you're supposed to be in and into another.
Or have you ever had it where you get a great idea for a later chapter but YOU DIDN'T WRITE IT DOWN? UGH.
This chapter will be about pretty magic glowing shields, human and hedgehog relationships, and giant pet robots! Unfortunately this chapter won't have many glitches. Oh well.))
Chapter 8
(Loading Screen)
Sonic: *finally back with his own character model (refer to previous chapter), now much quieter than usual*
Tails: Hey, Sonic, are you alright?
Sonic: No.
Tails: Why not?
Sonic: Why do you think?
Tails: *sighs* I hope this grudge with Shadow isn't going to last forever. You know what you always say, you can't let it bring you down.
Sonic: Oh, please. It's Shadow. Holding grudges are second nature to him.
Tails: But you don't—
Sonic: *holds up a hand to silence him, stands* We'll talk later. I've got a giant robot dog to defeat. *walks off, muttering under his breath* I'll show Shadow that I don't need him to have a good time.
Boss – Egg Cerberus
Egg Cerberus: *growls and does some dog-ready-to-attack-thing*
Eggman: I'll take care of you now… An early breakfast for my pet!
(Loading screen)
Sonic: Really? Another loading screen after five seconds of a scene?
Arumakan: It was a very important scene.
Sonic: Tch, about as important as a hedgehog wearing pants.
Silver: *sitting in floral shorts, eating ice cream, looks up* Hm?
Sonic: Plus, what was with that line? It's almost evening! I spent the whole day just getting here!
Eggman: It's a very early breakfast.
(Boss battle)
-Take 1-
Sonic: So this is your pet, huh? Okay, Eggman, I'll play with it.
Eggman: Actually, Egg Cerberus isn't my real pet. This is. *holds out a cute orange, fluffy chao that resembles his mustache, it sits in his palm, smiling*
Sonic: Aw, it's so adorable! Coochy-coochy-coo! *tickles it under its chin*
Chao: *bites his finger*
Sonic: Look, it likes AAAAAAAAAGH GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF ME! *dashes around the studio, trying to throw the chao off*
Eggman: That's a good boy! Good boy, Num-Nums!
Amy: *crosses arms* Num-Nums?
Eggman: *ignores her* Come to papaaa!
Chao (Num-Nums): *releases Sonic and flies back to Eggman, perches on his shoulder and nuzzles his cheek, purring*
Amy: Aw, c'mon, it's not that bad. *feeds it a fruit*
Num-Nums: Chao! *closes eyes and smiles cutely*
Sonic: *crouches behind Tails, using him as a meat shield* That thing is evil, I tell you! Evil!
Arumakan: *rubbing his temples* Can we take this battle seriously, please?
Tails, Amy, Knuckles, Eggman, etc.: Nope.
Sonic: Does no one have any regard for my safety here?!
Tails: Guess not. *smirks, remembering the script at what's in store for him at the very end*
Sonic: *glares at him*
-Glitch 1-
Sonic: So, what am I supposed to do, the usual?
Arumakan: Actually—
Sonic: Whoa! No time! *jumps out of the way before the Egg Cerberus runs over him, jumps onto him and tries spamming A to homing attack, the camera glitches out from Sonic's rapid movement and sends him flying to the top of the stage*
Tails: Whooo, you flew far!
Sonic: Okay, so no homing attacks. Now…how do I get down…?
Arumakan: Don't tell me you're afraid of heights. If you have read SEGA's secret files, you should know you'll fall from even higher heights! Like space! And survive!
Sonic: I know, but you put an invisible wall here!
Arumakan: So you admit it! You read their files!
Amy: Oh, come on, it's not like he's very good at lying!
Sonic: *shrugs* It's true, I'm not.
Arumakan: As for the invisible wall—
Sonic: I'll just do what I normally do to get into areas I'm not supposed to. *spin-dashes/homing attacks at the corner of the wall to make it back into the stage*
Tails: See, it's your fault the game is broken!
-Glitch 2-
Egg Cerberus: *"jumps " to get to the top of the stage, but it looks like it's gliding*
Sonic: Physics, what are those?
Egg Cerberus: *instead of landing on the top of the wall, it falls short and lands on an invisible platform, shuffles around to prepare to pounce*
Silver: *pauses the game, stands in front of the dog* Welcome to Silver the Telekinetic's Magic Show of Doooooom!
Sonic: *groans, shakes head*
Silver: I will now take control of this boss. *uses his psychic abilities to freeze the boss, forces it to tap-dance on top of his invisible platform*
Arumakan: Don't strain the robot! It's the only one we have, and there's a reason we had to use a harness and ropes to actually get it up onto that platform!
Sonic: Yeah, the wrong platform.
Silver: Oh, come on! Isn't there some other robot—Oh! *giggles evily, flies off, the game resuming, only to make the Egg Cerberus jump off its platform and on top of Sonic, it starts licking its face with its metal tongue*
Sonic: Eeugh, gross! Robot oil slobber!
Eggman: Looks like some programming issues…
-Take 2-
Sonic: *after depleting half of his health by making him run into walls/statues* Hey, I can finally see your face! Now it's my turn!
Tails: Hasn't it always been your turn?
Sonic: Well, you've just been running around beside me doing absolutely nothing, why don't you take a shot at it?
Tails: *walks up to it, takes out a screwdriver and flies onto its back, after a few seconds of working the whole thing falls apart* Done.
Sonic: *agape*
Arumakan: And that's why we don't have Tails do the work.
-After the boss is defeated-
Egg Cerberus: *now back together, roars and falls*
Eggman: Sonic, I won't let you get away!
Sonic: Ha, you just diiiiid! *runs off, only to have Num-Nums the Chao come and bite his tail, Sonic screams and speeds off, trying to shake it off*
-Result screen-
Sonic: *finally back, poses, floating slightly off the ground* Hey, I can fly!
Amy: He can fly!
Tails and Knuckles: He can fly!
All four: We can fly!
Sonic: Now, just follow the second star to the right and straight on till morning! *takes off flying, only to crash into yet another wall* That is not the morning!
Silver: You guys watch too much Peter Pan…
Arumakan: And you need to tone down the telekinesis!
Silver: Hey, we're already on Chapter 8 of this parody, and we're only on the first boss! When do we get to film my story? Or even my boss battle?
Admin: *a magical voice in the sky (much like Tikal in Sonic Adventure)* Have patience, young one. Your time is nigh. And in the next few chapters!
Sonic: Who's that?
Arumakan: All hail the mystical spirit Admin of the Sonic '06 parody fanfiction!
*an explosion and shattering is heard*
Tails: And there goes the fourth wall.
Scene – Splitting Up
-Take 1-
*a whole pack of robots is seen flying toward them*
Sonic: *crosses arms* How long is this going to go on?
Knuckles: *offstage, mumbles* Says everyone playing this game…
Tails: *jumps in front of Sonic, shakes his arms like a puppet again* Let's split up! I'll get their attention, and you take the princess!
Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. You honestly think that he'll go after a little fox boy rather than his arch enemy and the very princess he's trying to capture? That's brilliant! Who thought of this idea?
Tails: Not me, the writers did.
Eggman: Exactly! I'm not that dumb! I have an IQ of 300, remember!
Sonic: And that's the only thing that sets you apart from every other evil genius in the world, and even then you're incredibly stupid.
Eggman: Am not!
Sonic: *crosses arms, looking unamused* Really? You trust people you just met, setting yourself up to be betrayed on multiple occasions, your own robots that have an AI never obey you, and we've already been battling for fifteen years and you still haven't come close to defeating me.
Eggman: No, there was that one time…!
Sonic: When?
Eggman: Erm… I almost killed you five years ago in that incident on the ARK!
Shadow: Yet he managed to escape with a fake Chaos Emerald, which you happened to throw in there with him.
Eggman: I didn't think it would work-!
Elise: *stands there awkwardly, as the new character, she has no idea what's going on*
Arumakan: CAN WE ARGUE LATER? We have filming to be done!
Sonic: Absolutely. This is going nowhere.
Tails: Like Eggman's hairline.
-Take 2-
Tails: Let's split up! I'll get their attention, and you take the princess!
Sonic: *gives him the traditional thumbs up* Okay! You be careful, Tails!
Tails: *fistpumps* Leave it to me! *flies off*
Sonic: *mutters* Can I leave anything to him…? *sighs, picks up the princess, to Elise* Hold on tight.
Elise: …Oh, you were talking to me?
Arumakan: Elise, you're the only one who's not making me want to pull my fur out. Please pay attention to what's going on.
Elise: I'm sorry, but you guys are the one who spent half of this filming time bickering!
Arumakan: You're right. Everyone needs to just stay on track, or else we'll never get this done. Can we do that, please?
All: *nod*
Arumakan: Good. Take 3.
-Take 3-
Sonic: *nods to Elise* Hold on tight.
Elise: …*nods* Okay!
Sonic: *runs off, pretty much toward the wall*
Level – Desert Ruins
-Take 1-
Sonic: Elise, hold on tight!
Elise: *mumbles* You literally just said that in the last cutscene.
Question Mark Hint: Combine the strength of two with the R1/RT button and use this new power to get rid of anything that blocks your path.
Sonic: And you wouldn't know that unless you hit that question mark…
-Glitch 1-
Sonic: Rebellion! *jumps off the path into the sand, using the shield, spamming it while walking to make it appear and disappear, making it last longer as he walks all the way to another part of the stage, grins triumphantly*
Arumakan: Go back.
Sonic: Huh?
Arumakan: Quit cheating the game and go back and do it right.
Sonic: *grumbles and, after regaining the shield power, does the same spamming-shield thing back*
Arumakan: *facepalms*
-Glitch 2-
Sonic: *just to experiment, stands in front of a robot and uses the shield, it makes the robot explode violently, which causes Sonic to lose Rings*
Tails: Wasn't that shield supposed to protect you?
Elise: It's just a very weak shield.
Sonic: That can make robots do this! *makes another one explode by activating the shield near it*
-Glitch 3-
Sonic: *hits a boost panel that launches him into the wall, causing the crash animation* That's the fourth time that's happened! These are placed horribly!
Silver: *whistles innocently*
-Later-
Sonic: *takes out the enemies at the end of the winding path* Oh, great. Platforming with bad camera angles.
Elise: You could just destroy that box and get to the spring.
Sonic: Oh. *does so, jumps on the spring, and like any person would do, tries to direct his fall but just ends up falling in the sand* Whoooaaah!
Elise: Aaaah!
-Second try-
Sonic: Screw the spring. *jumps on the moving platforms, but is able to stand on the slot in the wall where the platforms slide out* Ha! Cheats! *platforms his way to the top*
Elise: You could've used the spring and just not moved, it leads you directly where you want to go.
Sonic: ….That would have made things so much easier.
-Glitch 4-
Sonic: *completes the stage, on the result screen, sets Elise down and poses* Hey, watch this. *spams the glowing shield in the result screen so it still glows around him*
Knuckles: *puts on the song Everybody Dance Now* Everybody dance now!
*a dance party with disco lights breaks out, with Sonic still using the glow-y shield to the beat*
Arumakan: *groans, turns off Sonic's glowing shield ability and shuts off the music* Listen up!
All: *glare at him and groan*
Arumakan: We still have one more cutscene to be filmed before we can be done for today. Everyone to the Windows XP – I mean, field scene!
Sonic: *remembers what scene this is* Nope. *starts to walk off*
Shadow: *grabs him and drags him there* It's your turn to experience a human and animal relationship.
Sonic: No! You can't make me!
Arumakan: You signed the contract. You must.
Sonic: *whines*
Amy: If you do it, I'll make you your favorite chili dog recipe!
Sonic: *ears perk* You've convinced me. *heads to the set*
Tails: That was easy. Wait a minute, I thought you wanted to date him!
Amy: Sshh! *covers Tails's mouth and says in a whisper* If he realizes he doesn't want to be with Elise, he might finally notice his other options! Like me!
Tails: *nods and pushes her hand away*
Scene – In the Field
-Take 1-
Sonic: *runs into the green field, and now it's mid-day once again after it was just evening and the desert is nowhere to be seen, slows down and sets Elise down*
Elise: *bows* I have no words to express how grateful I am for your help…
Sonic: *checks his script, cringes at his upcoming lines and throws it behind him, deciding to improvise* Well, you could show me, instead.
Arumakan: *facepalms again*
Elise: *raises eyebrow, just going with it* How?
Sonic: *ticks them off on his fingers* You could get me a dozen chili dogs, be my servant for a day, or both—
Arumakan: Sonic!
Sonic: *groans* Oh, come on, this is lame! I can't work with this!
Elise: *frowns, a flash of hurt in her eyes, but Sonic doesn't seem to notice*
Arumakan: Work with the script, or you won't be able to leave at all today!
Sonic: *sighs* Fine…
-Take 2-
Elise: I have no words to express how grateful I am for your help…
Sonic: *looks a little bit lost, trying to remember his next line*
Elise: *realizes he doesn't remember his line so she improvises, looks at his arm and gasps* You're hurt!
Sonic: *looks at his arm, then remembers what his line was supposed to be in response to her thanks* It's nothing.
Elise: Don't say that! *kneels down*
Sonic: No, I mean it's literally nothing, there is nothing there.
Elise: It's called improvising; you just have to go with it.
Arumakan: Yes, quick thinking on your part, Elise, great job! Let's just go with that.
Sonic: *groans*
-Take 3-
Elise: I have no words to express how grateful I am for your help…You're hurt!
Sonic: *still in a monotone, not enjoying this, looks at his arm and shakes it as if testing out how bad the injury is* It's nothing.
Elise: Don't say that! *kneels down, starts tending to his arm*
Sonic: *doesn't quite know what to do since they strayed from the script (and it wasn't because of him), so feeling awkward, he looks away at the sky, tapping his muzzle, trying to distract himself from this awkward moment*
Elise: I'm sorry…it's all my fault… *rests her head on his now bandaged arm*
Tails: *mumbles* Heck yeah, it is.
Amy: Where'd she get that bandage…?
Sonic: *remembers the script* Smile.
Elise: *looks at him*
Sonic: *shakes his index finger at her as if to say, "you know better," then bursts out laughing* I'm sorry, I can't handle this.
Arumakan: Please, try to stay in character, or I'll get a squirt bottle for every time you get it wrong!
Sonic: I can't! This is just too cheesy and unrealistic!
Arumakan: Do you want to be here all night?
Sonic: No…
Arumakan: Then stay in character!
Sonic: Fine, but that doesn't mean I like what we're doing.
-Take 4-
Sonic: Smile. *does the finger-waving thing, a butterfly lands on his nose, thus distracting him, looks cross-eyed at it*
Amy: *giggles offstage, only to be shushed by the director*
Elise: *smiles*
Sonic: Hold on, I think I'm going to- *sneezes and the butterfly flies away*
Elise: *giggles*
Arumakan: *snaps his fingers in frustration* So close! Please, we're almost done with this part. Let's run it from "Smile."
-Take 5-
Sonic: Smile. *does the finger-waving thing and the butterfly lands on his nose*
Elise: *smiles, gently lifts the butterfly off his nose and it flies away*
Sonic: *watches it fly away* No, wait, Mr. Butterfly! I miss youuuuu!
Arumakan: *groans* Sonic…
Sonic: I'm a little bit ADD-ish today, okay?
Tails: You're always ADD-ish.
-Take 6-
Elise: *stands up, smiling*
Sonic: Your smile… That's all I need.
Knuckles: *mumbles* Do you want some crackers with that cheese?
Sonic: *walks off, Elise follows, but Sonic puts a little bounce in his step and turns around, moon-walking*
Arumakan: *squirts him with water from a spray bottle*
Sonic: *shrieks like a little girl, cringes away, whines* Dooooon't!
Arumakan: Do it right, and you won't get wet.
Sonic: *sighs* Fiiiine. *keeps walking, the spray-bottle and dancing cut out by editors* Eggman mentioned the Flames of Disaster. Is that why he's after you?
Elise: Yes. The name of the sun god our country honors is Solaris… His wrath comes in the form of the Flames of Disaster. Ten years ago, we almost faced the full force of his fury… I was a child then, so I don't remember it very well. *stops walking* I lost my father then…
Sonic: *this sentence catches his attention, because he had tuned out most of it, looks at her*
Elise: And now that man is trying to cause the same disaster again… What can I do?
Sonic: *instead of answering, reaches out at grabs her wrist, jerks her along with him as he starts to run*
Elise: Sonic? Sonic! Wait! I can't run that fast!
Sonic: No duh, you can't, nobody can! *starts off too fast and Elise trips and falls on her face*
Arumakan: Cut. *squirts Sonic*
Sonic: *groans in annoyance* Hate water…
-Take 7-
Sonic: *starts to drag Elise with him while running/jogging/fast walking*
Elise: Sonic? Sonic! Wait! I can't run that fast!
Sonic: Don't worry! Just raise your head and run!
Elise: But how does that help me—Ah! *Sonic causes her to trip again*
Sonic: Whoops. I'm sorry, but I have to say it. You're—
Arumakan: *raises squirt bottle*
Sonic: Alright, alright, sorry!
Arumakan: Good. *puts it away*
Sonic: …Too slow. *laughs and dodges the water that Arumakan tries to squirt at him multiple times*
-Take 8-
Sonic: *dragging Elise along behind him like a doll after running too fast…again*
Elise: *unamused* This is definitely not running*
Arumakan: I don't suppose you want this bottle dumped on you, do you?
Sonic: No! Okay, I'll slow down to… *scoffs disgustedly* …human speed.
-Take 9-
Sonic: *running with Elise*
Elise: *keeps tripping and stumbling, trying to keep up* How do you…keep on your feet?
Sonic: *shrugs* I'm just sure-footed. If I were to trip at the speeds I go at, I would be murdered by the road. Physics do apply in some cases, my friend. Also, someone littered this place with hidden planks of wood bolted to the ground.
Elise: Oh…Silver, I'm guessing?
Sonic: Most likely. *then he trips and falls flat on his face*
Elise: *stops running* Sure-footed?
Sonic: Shush. *gets up*
Arumakan: You know you guys didn't need to run that long?
Sonic: Eh, I felt like it.
Arumakan: Now go back for the last part of the scene.
Sonic: Nah, I'm just doing it here. *takes a pointed step forward and crosses his arms*
Arumakan: Fine! Have it your way! I'm done arguing! Editors, just keep the first part of that scene.
-Take 10-
*now at the side of the hill*
Sonic: Feels great, doesn't it? *overdoes it on the arm-raising and shaking his head*
Elise: Yes… I-I've never run so fast before.
Sonic: *clears his throat* Inspirational quote time. Ahem! Nothing farts until you make fractions.
Elise: What?
Amy: What?
Tails: What?
Arumakan: Huh?
Sonic: Oh, whoops.
-Take 11-
Sonic: Feels great, doesn't it?
Elise: Yes… I-I've never run so fast before.
Sonic: Nothing starts until you take action! If you have time to worry, then run!
Elise: *smiles at the camera, and Sonic helps her stand, and the screen fades to black*
Arumakan: *with much relief* And scene….
Sonic stretched and sighed with relief. "Finally!" he exclaimed. "We're done with that lame cutscene!"
Elise looked at him. "You thought it was lame?" she asked, sounding slightly hurt.
Sonic looked at her in surprise, his eyebrows furrowed, as if it were obvious. "Um, yeah. You didn't?"
"I kind of liked it," Elise admitted.
Sonic and his friends exchanged looks before all three of them burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" Elise asked.
"I'm sorry, but that scene was very lame," Sonic said, still half laughing. "I mean, come on. You and me in a relationship?"
"Yeah!" Amy agreed.
"I can't even handle pinkie over here," Sonic added, jutting a thumb behind him at his friend.
"Yea—Hey!" Amy protested.
"It just doesn't work," Sonic said. "The thought makes me gag." He mocked the sound, clutching his throat.
Elise's face fell, hurt by his reaction.
"Anybody want to come to my trailer?" Knuckles asked. "I'll have crackers with lots of cheese!"
Tails, Amy, and Sonic whooped in agreement and headed off after Knuckles. Tails stopped and looked at Elise, who stood there with her head down, rubbing her arm.
"Do you want to come with?" Tails offered politely to the quiet girl.
Elise gave the four of them a glare. "No, thank you. I don't want to make it lame." She stormed off, out the back door to the studio. Sonic realized then how badly he had acted and turned to his friends.
"I'll be right back," Sonic said, running after her. Elise was heading for her trailer in the trailer park behind the studio, where the sun was low and colored a deep orange in the sky, casting long shadows on the lot. Sonic quickly caught up to Elise and stopped in front of her, forcing her to stop.
"Hey, what's the matter?" the hedgehog asked.
"You're a complete jerk, you know that?" Elise snapped at him.
Sonic was taken aback by her tone. He had always thought her to be a quiet, bland girl, but it appeared she did have a bit of a personality. "How so…?" he asked tentatively.
"Let me see," Elise said sarcastically, ticking them off on her fingers. "You make fun of me behind my back, blanch every time we start a scene together, and you just gagged at the thought of being near me! What is wrong with you?!" She pushed past him to the entrance of her trailer.
"No, wait!" Sonic said before Elise could go inside, causing her to turn and glare at him, putting her hand on her hip, her other hand on the door handle. Sonic looked down. "I really can be a jerk sometimes. I'm sorry. Don't take it the wrong way, it's just…Well, I'm a hedgehog, and you're a human, and this game is trying to depict a human and hedgehog relationship. Do you not see the problem with that?"
"Yeah, I know that, and I agree, but that doesn't mean you have to be disgusted by me," Elise said.
"You're right," Sonic said, looking at her. "I should have some more respect for you. I barely know you, and it's just a game. But you know you're the best actor out of all of us."
At that, Elise blushed. "You're just saying that…"
Sonic's eyes widened innocently. "No, really!" he exclaimed. "You were on top of the ball when I forgot my line, you know how to go with the flow, and you stay in character better than anyone. I could learn some things from you."
"I could give you acting lessons," Elise suggested, brightening. "I'm not the best actress, but I could help you."
"That would be great," Sonic smiled. "Now, do you want some crackers and cheese at Knuckles's house and watch us rage at playing Cat Mario? Because you gotta admit, those two go well with this game."
Elise giggled. "That sounds like fun. Just let me change out of this stupid dress." She tugged at the neckline of the dress. "It's so itchy."
Sonic chuckled a bit. "Go ahead."
Elise went inside, and minutes later, she returned in black leggings and a blouse, her hair pulled back by a thin, white headband. "Let's go!"
"Race you," Sonic smirked, starting to run off.
"But I—" Elise started to protest.
"Just raise your head and run!" Sonic shouted over his shoulder.
Elise couldn't help but smile to herself, and she ran off behind him.
((Done. 4,200 words. I'm tired. I've been writing this all week. Sentence sentence blooper blooper give suggestions blah blah blah bye.))
~SonicTheHedgehog-Nerd