I know how pain feels, but do I really know what it is?
What is pain? You may be thinking "Oh, I know. I've been through a lot. I know what pain is, you don't." But have you really been through pain? Yes, maybe your mom yells at you, and yes maybe your dad is in jail, and yeah I know it hurts.
But pain isn't just the emotion that makes you think "Well I screwed up. Now I feel like shit. I need a good cry." and then you cry and go on your way.
Pain is that feeling you get when you're about to cry, you know, when your throat tightens up and it's hard to breath without sobbing.
Pain is feeling like you have no other option than to put that blade to your wrists.
Pain is lying and deception. Pain is hunger and war. Pain is confusion and chaos.
Sometimes pain is unbearable, sometimes it's easier to deal with.
I never knew actual pain, until I met Eli, I mean.. dead ex-girlfriend, hoarding, drug abuse(1), his parents are never really home, he has to fend for himself.
He had, well has, some serious emotional baggage, things that most people don't deal with until their well into their twenties. Eli is strong. He's a fighter.
But as everyone who has been through something as horrible as that knows, you can only fight the lie that giving up is the way for so long.
And I'm terrified of the day he decides it's not worth it anymore... and gives up.
I figured I should continue this... hope yall enjoy... and PLEASE REVIEW!
(1) I wrote this in like the past tense, so in this chapter they are not together, I was also kinda writing about him dealing with Julia so idk if Eli abused drugs before the whole Jake thing (I honestly don't think he did because he asked if he had to inhale... but u nvr kno) but I can see him doing that during the first few months maybe even longer after Julia died. okay im done. love yall! bye now.