What is happiness? I wish I knew, I've been in sadness and anger my whole life, I think I attract death, in this order our the deaths in my life. When I was six my pet hamster Mr. Fatty died, when I was eight my pet dog Scamp got hit be a car, when I was nine my gold fish Herman got ate my the neighbors cat that ran in the house when we weren't looking, when I was twelve my grandma died, when I was thirteen my grandpa died (exactly a year after my grandma died which was on my birthday) and when I was fifteen Julia got hit by a car.
I attract death, Clare and my mom and whoever else can spout that shit about it "being a part of life" as much as they want.
I got off track, guess Clare was right when she said that I was wordy. Happiness is a part of life right? I know I've never been happy, not for long anyways, maybe a minute or two (if I'm luck it's a day or two) happiness is a dream that so desperately want to happen.
I see Clare smiling all the time. How is it that she is so happy? Shouldn't she be jus a little bit upset about the fact that we broke up? Of course I don't want her to be upset as I am, I would never wish that on her, but her showing any sign of a remorse would help.
I'm getting off track again, happiness is an odd dream that I faintly remember when I was a child without a care in the world. I miss those days. I would give anything to be carefree again.
I don't know what happiness is. It's just a dream that will never be true for me.
What does it mean to be happy?
I know it got a little (okay a lot) wordy and it got off track a lot, but I was trying to get into Eli's head and the show said he was wordy, and it also said his pills made it hard to concentrate, I tried to kinda get that into the story. anyways I hoped you enjoyed! PLEASE REVIEW!