Friday 3:00 PM.
A rip in the fabric of space time opened into the courtyard of the Royal Guard of Mewni and out stepped one teenage blonde waving around a wand and a boy in a red hoodie that looked either bemused or weirded out depending on your perspective.
Scattered around the courtyard were gruff looking men and women performing their everyday duties. Sparring, weight training, and cleaning being the three most common. A tall blonde haired woman wearing the normal blues of the royal guard but with a black arm band with a white fist on it barked instructions to a trio of men surrounded by a ring of twirling, swinging wooden dummies.
It was into the prescience of this intimidating woman that Star dragged Marco. "Hi auntie Flow!" The tall woman turned to the two of them.
"Star! What a pleasant surprise. I thought you were out and about learning magic and whatnot."
"Oh, I am, very serious business, you know. But I have some time on my hands and I wanted to introduce my new best friend to my favorite person in the whole wide multiverse! Aunt Flo, meet Marco. Marco, my aunt Flo."
The tall blonde woman that, now that he looked at her, looked like a taller, buffer version of Star with short hair and no cheek marks shook Marco's hand to the sound of the three men behind her getting their asses so thoroughly wooped that one of them actually mewed like a kitten.
"A pleasure young Marco. Any friend of Star's is a friend of mine and my men." She gestured around at the men in the courtyard, some of whom were pulling their comrades out of the blast crater that was a dummy training area. "We're all one big dysfunctional family here and there's always room for fresh blood. That is, if you think you're man enough." She smiled at him. Not unkindly but with a glint like a polished war hammer about to crack open the skull of a troll.
"Yeah, I'm not even going to try to unpack that statement."
Star squealed and practically dragged Marco across the courtyard to where a pair of guards were replacing a vertical beam holding up an awning. "I Wanna Talk So Fix It Up!" Star shouted, waving her wand. The old beam suddenly became a tall skeleton holding the awning up. The guards looked over at Star, no hint of confusion in their eyes.
It was then that Marco noticed that some of the construction of the courtyard was a bit weird. There was a pen of purple goats nearly as large as horses. One of the walls was brighter than the others and had a face etched into it. Which would be weird enough if the eyes weren't clearly tracking him. High on a tower there was a scorch mark in the shape of a dragon.
"Cedar, Cedar, Cedar! I came for a visit~!"
A burly guard turns to Star, "I can see that princess. I didn't know skeletons were structurally sound building materials. T'was my mistake." He chuckles gruffly, bringing Star into a massive bear hug.
"And this is my friend Marco!" Star introduced.
"Your 'friend' eh?" The guard looked down to where Star hadn't yet let go of Marco's hand.
Star quickly let go of his hand, "Just my friend Cedar."
"Right." The guard looked skeptical.
It went on like this for a while. Star seemed to be on first name terms and hugging terms with every guard in the fort. A pattern emerged though. Most of the guards had names that pertained to nature. Bark, Amber, Wood, Creek, to name a few.
They wore slightly different types of armour, most likely to distinguish the different types of guards. Ranking officers wore armbands and greeted Star with deference until she hugged them and began gushing about all the strange things she had found on earth. This of course included Marco who was greeted with bemusement and raised eyebrows. As one guard commented, "You've never introduced us to one of your boyfriends before Star, is this one special?"
To which Star responded, "Marco is not my boyfriend and why does everyone just assume that we're dating?"
The guard grinned, "Calm down princess, we won't tell your mother, no need to pretend for us." He winked at them both. Star walked off in a huff. The guard clapped Marco on the shoulder and he expected something along the lines of 'if you hurt her we'll break all your bones' but was surprised when the guard said, "She's a fiery one boy, maybe having you around will cool her off a bit." He chuckled, "Just like her father she is. Up to the'r eyeballs in trouble if you let 'em out of your sight. She don't need protectin', she needs someone who'll balance 'er out. A level 'ead to point the flamethrower, if'n ya catch my meaning."
Marco promised that he'd help Star in any way he could. Over time he learned other things about the guards. Royal guards were considered honorary nobles so that they had the kind of political power necessary to refuse orders from nobles that would endanger themselves and others. It was also useful because it allowed people of the common class to marry into noble houses, taking care of an inbreeding problem that had gotten quite bad a couple of hundred years ago. Star's father was one such, a guard that had fought in a battle to safe the current queen's mother and distinguished himself such that he became a hero. So it was only right that Moon marry him to symbolize to the people that the blood of heroes still ran in the veins of the monarch.
It took several hours to meet everyone and while Star's ceaseless energy seemed to have her float an inch off the ground wherever they went Marco's legs were starting to hurt when they finally found themselves sitting at the desk of the first person they had met that morning. Star's (biological and not just social) aunt.
Now Marco could see the resemblance to Star's father as well. Her jaw was a bit too square to be called soft, her hair a bit too dull to be called beautiful, and her shoulders a bit too wide to be called gentle. But she had a gaze that, were Marco twenty years older, would have turned his dick to diamonds.
"Wait a minute. If King River and Star are both short, why are you so tall?" Marco said to the six foot tall woman.
She laughed and leaned back on her chair, tossing her feet up onto the desk. Her black boots had blue armoured plates on them, but at the ankle was a small golden star. Kicking them off the woman lost half a foot in heigh and shrunk a little. "Magic boots boy. Means that one size fits all armour actually fits!"
"He~y auntie Flo, so, I was thinking that, y'know, since Marco and I are in a time loop that we could, I dunno, maybe go to the Flesh Eating Warnicorn with you and the guys?" Star batted her eyelashes at the woman.
"Sure, I'll just call up the guys and then take my niece to one of the seediest pubs in all of Mewni. We'll get you some strippers, snort some medical mice dust, and even star a bar fight! It'll be a grand ol' time."
Star's smile had been growing the entire time that Flo had been talking. Her eyes sparkled at the thought.
"Uh, Star, I think she was being sarcastic."
Flo nodded, though she kept her smile, "Kid, time loop or no, I'm not going to take you to a place like the Flesh Eating Warnicorn. Not only is it a den of debauchery, but if you happen to pop out of the time loop and your parents find out that I took you there, family or no my head would most definitely be on the chopping block, and I don't want Henry to have to cut my head off, his heart wouldn't be in it."
Star looked disappointed. She tried puppy dog eyes on Flo, and then actual puppies but Flo's face was implacable. "Fine." Star crossed her arms, "But the day I turn sixteen I'm going to get so drunk that I'll be hungover for a month!"
Flo chuckled, "That will be your prerogative. But until then you're a sweet little princess who's never touched a drop, right?" Flo looked expectantly at Star.
Star sighed, "Right."
Flo smiled, "Good, now, it's getting late and I think that your hosts have most likely already made dinner, so you should be off. It was a pleasure meeting you Marco, I hope to see you on my training grounds again in the future." Flo shook Marco's hand and gave Star a big hug.
They said goodbye to the guards as they went into their mess hall before Star opened a portal back into her room. Once inside Marco turned to her, "We're going, aren't we?"
"Psh, no, that would be too easy, and we would get caught. I wouldn't do something like that." Star's eyes sparkled, "But where we are going isn't much be~tter!"
Marco smiled at his friend, "I figured as much. C'mon, I smell ceviche, you'll love it." They hurried down to dinner.