25.
Have you ever wished to take back something you have said or done that caused hurt or harm on someone you cared about? Everyone has, it's part of what it means to be human. Yet despite having such a simplistic reason, no one ever warns you about the damage or the consequences for those words that has been said or the actions that has been done.
So no, life doesn't come with a manual or guidelines in how to survive or how to do certain things like fixing mistakes, even though I like most other people in this world wished there was one. Then maybe I would know how to deal, and possibly fix things, between Clarke and me.
It would have been easy to say that he managed to push his issues with Clarke completely out of his mind, but then that wouldn't be the truth, would it? No, he was having a hard time ignoring her decision to break up their relationship entirely, especially when he was the one who persuaded her to take the chance to try again with him, and the questions she left behind, questions that he was almost certain she asked him pointed because they held more clues to his answers than she herself was willing to admit.
You and me, we're done…
Bellamy didn't want to believe that they were. Sure, the secrets and the lies were heavy and deep, but he wanted his Princess back not only because he missed her or regretted the things he said to her. But also because he still loves her and there was no one else he could ever imagine loving or spend the rest of his life with except her.
He continued to think about what exactly she had said before she left him in the hallway.
How is it that everyone in town learned so quickly about the case I was working on and my involvement with the Mt. Weather incident, especially since there was no proof on my involvement or knowledge before I left town?
He had no clue. Clarke had always been professional in keeping her cases private, only asking him or at the very least warn him the possible danger levels of the case and potentially if she might get accidently caught up with police business. So how was it possible that everyone knew what she was working and the extent on how much she knew and her involvement with the whole incident? Someone must have known about, not him or her friends obviously, and aimed to harm and ruin her reputation and trust with everyone in town. But who had a grudge against her before Mt. Weather? And was doing everything in their power to get rid of her?
Why would someone try to kill me and put the blame these murders on me if I was the villain in all of this?
God, Bellamy hated to admit it, but Clarke had certainly made a good point with her questions. Honestly, why try and kill someone when you are already trying to place the blame on two homicides? Even more so if this was revenge why bother going through such elaborate hoops to reach those goals when you could have simply done in a lot faster and easier?
He shook his head, realizing how much he was starting to hate that Clarke had pointed out that something wrong was going on and he had been too ignorant or stupid to see it before. Nonetheless he wasn't giving much more time to dwell on it because one minute he was his own world then the next Miller was snapping his fingers into his face, trying to get his attention. Stumbled and awkward, Bellamy asked, "Sorry…what?"
"That you were clearly not listening for starters," Miller replied bluntly, turning his attention completely on him since they were the only ones in the interrogation room. "And that you well… zoned out through the entire interrogation with Dr. Harris and his lawyer, which as it turns out was another hour of getting nothing and being stonewalled by a defense lawyer. So they were allowed to leave until the arraignment tomorrow and DA is going to decide whether to take this case to court or not despite the heavy evidence against him with the only exception of Clarke's involvement in the whole thing that is."
Bellamy couldn't help flinching about the mere mention of the blond, which Miller caught on immediately. "But that's not really what's on your mind, is it? I heard there was a flare up between you and Clarke. So do you want to talk about it?"
"No…" Bellamy didn't know what he wanted, simply felt extremely exhausted both physically and emotionally and that he didn't feel that ready to deal with everything. "Not right now anyways. I just think I need to calm down and try and talk with Clarke again, that is if she will talk to me at all."
Miller looked like he wanted to give words of advice or simply reassurance, but before he had the chance to open his mouth his phone started to ring like crazy. Confused and also curious, Bellamy pulled out his phone and answered it while silently hoping it was Clarke that was calling. Unfortunately his hopes were crushed when he heard the familiar sound of Raven's voice ranting in a stressing and scared manner into his ear, which had no clue what she was saying because she was literally screaming rather than talking like an ordinary person. "Whoah, whoah…Raven, slow down. What is it?"
Raven seemed to have calmed down significantly more than she had been before, but her stressed and overall concern was still quite apparent in her voice. "Please tell me that Clarke's there with you."
What? Why would she ask that unless something bad has happened to her? "No, she left for over an hour ago. She should be home or at least that's where I think she went after she walked away from me."
She muttered a curse, more to herself than to him, but he figured out that something was up and Clarke might be in trouble. "Jasper is missing, apparently so is Clarke at the moment, and Monty and I fear that he's going to confront Clarke."
As soon as Raven said those words Bellamy immediately knew what the problem was, especially considering he had been there since Jasper lost Maya and turned his grief towards alcohol and anger. And most of that anger was directed towards Clarke due to her knowledge, involvement as well as her abandonment and he feared that learning this recent events might tip him over the edge and decide to confront or worst do something for the sake of revenge.
Regardless of his current issues with Clarke, he couldn't sit back and allow Jasper to do something that was beyond his capacity and control. So he explained to Raven that he was going to go and search for Jasper and Clarke, meanwhile she and Monty continued to call and check out their places in case they decided to return back to their homes. Then without as much as an explanation to Miller, he ran out the door and began his search for Jasper and Clarke.
They walked in silence, literally earth-breaking silence that seemed overall unusual for two old friends, especially for them since their relationship had at one point been strong, filled with teasing and protectiveness over one another. But that clearly seemed to be the case since Jasper wouldn't talk, not even look at her straight in the face since they left her house and headed towards the town bridge that held passage to the forest.
Clarke wanted to know the significance of having their conversation in this particular place, especially since they had never hung out here in the past or at the very least not alone between themselves. In the end she was too tired to question and figure out the answer herself, so she asked bluntly, "Why bring me here? What is the significance of this place?"
Jasper shrugged his shoulder in a carefree manner, but his body language showed anything except carefreeness. Rather suppressed hurt and pain that she knew was just waiting to explode on her in ways besides cursing and spitting her in the face. "You may not know this, but this was the place where I took Maya on our first date. You remember, Maya, right?"
That last part was meant as emotional jab, which Clarke recognized and felt even more horrible about herself than she did before he showed up and brought her here. Of course, I remember Maya. She was my friend, albeit not one of my closest friends, but nonetheless my friend who I still to this very day regret for losing her and for doing what she asked me to do, rather than listening to my own heart and conscience.
Despite her thoughts and feelings on the subject she decided to keep quiet, simply listening to Jasper's accusations while hoping that blaming and confronting her about this could help him move on from it since he didn't want to deal with it for the last three years.
"She was my everything. The one person I loved and cared about more than anyone else in the whole world, and you took her away from me!"
Clarke felt everything inside of her break into tiny little pieces, which was much left after what had happened with Bellamy earlier. She wrapped her arms around her waist, shaking her head in regret and shame while tears began cascading down her face once again. "I'm sorry…I didn't want this to happen, any of it. But…I had to…"
"You had to what? Withhold information that could have saved all those people inside that mountain? Allow the people inside to experiment on radioactive gasses that killed them all, including Maya?"
Hearing that last part made her stop moving. What did he mean by that? Radioactive gasses didn't kill Maya. She was executed, shoot in the head. There could be no mistake about it, especially since it had to be written in the autopsy report. It was then she realized that Dr. Harris must have not only falsified the reports from the two murders, but most likely did it on Maya's as well.
"Damn it," Clarke cursed to herself for her own stupidity. "I should have known they would try this…"
Jasper, confused and rather unpredictable at the moment, pulled out a gun that he had hidden inside his jacket and aimed straight at her. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHO ARE THEY?"
Clarke froze on the spot by the sight of the gun, and even though she knew that Jasper wasn't a killer she no longer knew him as well as she did and he's blinded by grief and revenge to know any better, but again he's too unpredictable to decide his state of mind.
"Nobody…" Clarke answered, once again cursing herself for letting that piece of information slip. Jasper didn't believe her and approached and placed the barrel right on her forehead. "Damn you, Clarke! I don't want to hear apologies and excuses!" Jasper exclaimed, pushing the barrel harder to her head. "I want to know the truth why you let Maya and those people die that day. Please, tell me the truth, because I deserve to know it and you know that I am right!"
Hearing him shout out his rights broke her resolve completely, leaving her to break down and sobbing in grief and pain that she had suppressed and kept inside for three years. "I didn't want this to happen…I wanted to do the right thing, but she asked me not to. I begged and pleaded for her to let me tell the truth, but I was bound by client privilege and unless she gave me her permission I had to respect her wishes. Then they found out that we knew the truth and they killed her and threatened me that if I told them they would hurt, possibly kill everyone I loved, and I couldn't take that chance so I…"
She couldn't bear explaining any further, the pain and the memories were too much for her to handle, but she was truly sorry for what her actions had caused him and everyone else. However despite her regrets she knew that words would suffice to her dear old friend, not any more, so whatever he had in store for her now she would accept the penalty for the destruction she caused. But as one could expect Jasper too was breaking down, unable to accept everything that has happened and what she had just told him. He dropped the gun on the ground, sobbing and asking for Maya. Clarke wanted to embrace him, comfort him for his pain and loss, but was afraid that he would shield away from her if she tried. So she stood there watching him crying and sobbing on the ground, feeling her own pain and suffering choking her, when she grew alert over someone keeping an eye on them.
Everything was ready. His location was secured and concealed from anyone who might prove to be a nuisance to him and his superiors, and his sniper rifle was loaded and prepared to take the hit on the blonde, who still had no idea that her life was in danger. He smirked over the thought as he leaned down and put his aim on her chest, then waited to take the shot meanwhile Ms. Griffin stood there watching her broken old friend wallow in his own misery. Your time is up, Ms. Griffin. Say goodbye to your friend and this world. He took the shot and watched in anticipation for the fall of the Great Clarke Griffin.
However just seconds after he took the shot and the bullet pierced through its surroundings towards its destination, Clarke moved slightly from the original target and exclaimed, "GET DOWN!"
Her friend went down, but in the end so did she. However she didn't go down the way that he wanted. The bullet hit her chest, even though not straight to her heart, but still close enough that if it was left there without medical attention she would die. Nevertheless the mission was still uncompleted and it would remain that way while she's still alive enough to speak of the things that were supposed to remain hidden.
I need another plan to make sure that she truly dies for real. Otherwise my superiors and myself will be at risk of losing everything we have worked to accomplish, the sacrifices we made in order to make sure the truth were to never to resurface ever again.
Jasper crawled over to Clarke, who was breathing heavily and looked scared as hell. He carefully held her in his arms, almost forgetting his own pain and misery as he watched his old friend fighting to stay alive. "Clarke…no, no, no. Please don't die."
I'm still hurt and angry for what you did, and I will probably never forgive for it, but despite that you are still one of my closest friends and I don't want to lose you.
Clarke stared up at him, with tears in her eyes, before she lifted her hand and touched his cheek gently. Which he didn't pull away from instead put his left hand over hers, holding it like she was an anchor. She tried to smile, albeit it was a forceful and painful smile, but nevertheless she smiled at him and said heavily, "I'm…sorry for e-everything. Please…tell Bellamy that I'm sorry for what I said and t-that I love him."
"Tell him that yourself," Jasper said sternly, hoping that his anger might get her to focus on staying alive and awake. Even though it didn't seem to work, especially since tears was falling down his face. "Come on, Clarke! Don't give up…Mom."
It had been a joke in the past between him and his friends, to nickname Clarke and Bellamy as their parents, based on how responsible and protective they had been over them and each other. Of course Clarke and Bellamy weren't trilled by the names at the time, but they grown to accept and often teased that they were too young to be their parents. After the Mt. Weather incident he as well as the rest of them stopped using the nicknames, but now he needed to keep Clarke focus even though she could barely keep her eyes open.
"The answers…lie behind Ares's frame…"
What is she talking about now? Lies behind Ares's frame? What is that supposed to mean? Jasper didn't know what to think, but before he got the chance to ask her any further about the meaning behind her words she closed her eyes and became limp in his arms.
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Thank you guys so much for the reviews, favorite and followings, and I'm glad so many of you got interested in my story. So I hope you guys like the this chapter, especially since it arrived a date later than usual.
Also I like to add that there are and will be grammar errors in this story, I had forgotten to mention before, and not a perfect writer and I don't have a Beta to fix it for me (which I have no intention on getting anyways), so if people have issues with that then you just have to live with it, okay? I write and release this mainly to entertain you guys as well release some of my creativity.
I used several references and quotes from movies, books and tv shows. So obviously I don't own them, but I will frequently use them since they fit the story somehow.
Okay, so a guest reviewer had a certain opinion about my story and the whole 'keeping-secrets' plotline, and even though everyone has rights to their own opinions, it was sort of bad and insulting to read it. Sure, Clarke seems foolish for doing the things she does, but there is a deeper meaning behind it that has yet to be revealed. But nevertheless the main idea about this story in particular was that the main characters evolve and ultimately becomes a better version of themselves in the end, otherwise the characters would be pretty boring to read about.
The purpose I wanted to bring forth with this story was trust, but also the importance of honesty in a relationship. Every secret and lie we make has a price or a consequence that can change everything about a relationship fundamentals, even those secrets and lies we tell to protect others as well as ourselves, and leave behind the issues of trust in other people. Sounds probably complicated, I know, but that's the general idea and maybe you guys will see it in the later chapters.
So please review, favorite and/or follow.
xXrebelgirl07Xx