hey guys, I"m back! And I brought with me another supermegafoxyawesomehot chapter! I hope you all like it! The songs used in this are "Don't Trust Me" by 3Oh!3 and "The Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang. Enjoy!

"Hey, hey Jack," Maurice said, poking Jack in the arm.

"No." Maurice pouted and turned to Roger.

"Hey, hey Roger."

"No," Roger repeated.

"But you guys don't even know what I'm talking about!" Maurice whined. Jack and Roger looked at each other, then looked back at Maurice.

"...No," they said in unison.

"OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTHS AND LISTEN UP BITCHES." Maurice shouted with sudden unforseen fury. Jack and Roger went wide-eyed and stayed quiet. Maurice smiled, then pointed to the TV screen, which was showing a baseball game that they were all completely absorbed by. "I bet you the White Sox win." Jack eyed him curiously.

"Ten bucks says Cubs crush them." Roger nodded.

"I'd be game for that. No way the Sox win with their season record," he agreed.

"You guys are on." Half an hour later, at the bottom of the ninth inning, Jack and Roger were screaming furious profanities at the TV while Maurice kicked back with a smug grin on his face. The Sox had it in the bag. It was the last half of the inning, the Cubs were six runs behind and they already had two outs. Anyone with half a brain could tell where things were going. The player at bat hit the ball and it went flying up over head, then began to steadily drop into right field, where a relaxed-looking Sox player was waiting with his glove out.

"No no no no!" Jack yelled, pulling at the ends of his hair and looking desperate.

"Drop it! Damn it, I command you to drop it!" Roger screamed at the screen. The right fielder seemed unable to hear him, because right after he said this, the ball landed with a satisfying pop in his mitt. The Cubs had officially lost. "Noooooo!" Roger cried furiously, kicking the TV in front of him hard and sending his foot crashing through it.

"My TV!" Jack yelled, pulling even harder on his hair and falling to his knees. Maurice laughed.

"Pay up boys!" Roger and Jack sighed and started digging into their pockets for their wallets.

"Well shit," Jack mumbled. "I forgot mine at home."

"And mine's empty," Roger said, holding it up for good measure.

"We'll bring you the money tomorrow," Jack said. Maurice shook his head.

"You said that last time and I've yet to see a dime of it. You do know that the two of you combined owe me a total of $150, right?" Jack's eyes nearly popped out.

"We WHAT?"

"You guys never pay me back when you lose bets or borrow money. But, on the brightside, I have a deal for you," Maurice said with a sly grin.

"Let's hear it," Roger replied.

"You guys won't owe me a dime, if-"

"Oh, I hate ifs," Roger groaned.

"-you let me come up to you guys at any point, anywhere, any time for the next month, and obnoxiously sing whatever song I want." Roger and Jack looked at each other and shared a wicked smile. They were getting off way too easy!

"Deal." They said at the same time.

"Jack?" Mrs. Merridew called, walking in the front door and slamming the door shut behind her. Jack's eyes widened.

"Shit, I'm so dead!" He whispered.

"Why?" Roger asked.

"MY TV YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He exclaimed. "You have ten seconds to run before I personally show you how to do 69 by yourself!" Roger's eyes widened and he froze like a deer in the headlights. Then he took off running out the back door, with Jack hot on his tail. "RUN BITCH RUN!"

Day 1 of bet.

Jack slicked his hair back, then approached his latest target with a wicked grin, one that no girl had ever been able to resist. Laura Scott, prepare to be mine. He thought, confident in his abilities to flirt her face off.

"Hey Laura," he said in a smoothy, utterly shmexy voice. She turned slightly pink and smiled.

"Hi Jack. How are you?" She asked, giggling.

"Better now that I'm talking to you." She turned even pinker. "Oh, here, let me help you out." He took some of her books and then held the door to the classroom for her. She giggled again.

"You're such a gentleman." He shrugged, trying for false modesty.

"It's my personal opinion that a girl like you deserves a gentleman." If Laura hadn't been blushing enough before, boy, was she pink now! "So Laura, I was think that-" Just before he could ask her out, he was cut off by a familiarly annoying voice.

"He wants to touch you whoa!
He wants to fuck you, whoa!
He'll never leave you, whoa, whoa oh oh!
Don't trust the hoe,
Never trust the hoe,
Won't trust the hoe,
Won't trust you!" Jack froze as Maurice sang, knowing for the first time the full extent of what he'd agreed to. Laura's blush had vanished, and she looked mildly disturbed.

"Um, I think I'd better go now. Bye Maurice!" With that, she ran off to escape the awkwardness. Jack turned to Maurice.

"You know I'm going to have to kill you now right?" Maurice shrugged.

"Sure, if you want to pay me $150 and pay for my funeral." Jack opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then mumbled, "fuck," and stormed off. Maurice grinned. Maurice: 1, Jack: 0.

Day 2 of bet

Roger, having heard all about Jack's misfortune during lunch that day, was much more careful with whose company he kept at school. Outside of school, however, was an entirely different matter. That night, his parents had gone to a dinner party and he had the house to himself until 8. So what better thing to do than have his girlfriend over to engage in a highly intense make out session? Nothing better to do, that's what.

He and his girlfriend, Anna, were on the couch with her practically laying on him as they swapped spit. Absolutely perfect, if you asked him. After all, Anna was the very definition of smoking hot. A bit of a prude, but he was working on it.

"Hey Roger?" She said in between kisses.

"Yea babe?" He murmured against her lips. She pulled away.

"I just had the greatest idea! Okay, so you know how it's my sister's birthday tomorrow? Well, I was just thinking that maybe we could make-" In a fashion similar to Jack's previous experience, Anna was cut off.

"Love," Maurice sang, parading into the room, "the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it," Anna gasped in disgust, but Maurice continued.
"Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files." Anna bolted off the couch and slapped them both.

"Creeps!" She cried indignantly, grabbing her coat and storming out of Roger's house.

"Anna wait!" Roger called after her. She didn't. He turned and looked at his friend in confusion. "How the hell did you even get in my house?" Maurice laughed.

"You gave me a key dude." Roger sighed, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Get out."

"You don't need to tell me twice. You're one helluva creepy pervert." Roger looked up and glared. "All right, all right, I'm going. But remember Roger, I'll be back." Maurice then left and Roger groaned.

"I was afraid you'd say that."

To be continued... maybe.

So what'd you all think! Was it up to your normal standards of comedy? I sure hope so, because if you liked it I plan to do more of this particular idea, just divided into parts and spread throughout the collection and blah blah blah. So did you like it? Please review and tell me what you thought. I also suggest that you check out both these songs because they're really good and "The Bad Touch" is hilarious. Ciao!