Takeru stares at him. Part of him is just shocked that the boy… that Ken can talk at all, and another part of him is trying to work out why his voice sounds so odd. Or why it's so much harder to remember that the boy has a name - that he's called Ken - than it was when he remembered about Hikari. She's just… that's who she is. But with Ken…he's the boy. It doesn't matter what his name is really, because all that matters is that he's Takeru's friend.
So now that he's staring at Takeru and looks scared, it feels like everything is all backwards and wrong. And what makes it worse is the nagging feeling in the back of his head that there's another reason why the boy being scared of him is back-to-front, and he's not sure he wants to know why that is. His memories are bad enough already.
But there's one thing he is sure of.
"Everyone should have friends," he says. The words seem to appear in his head without him thinking about them first: "It's…friendship is really important."
The boy flinches and wobbles. He turns to run, but he's stood too close to the edge of the pond and slips instead, falling and landing in the water with a huge splash.
Takeru races over to help. The water isn't deep, but the boy looks too shocked to get out by himself, so Takeru grabs his arm and pulls. The boy's face is a mixture of emotions as he's helped back up onto dry land. The mixture turns to an expression of shock as Takeru hugs him, ignoring the fact that the boy is utterly drenched.
"I'm glad you're safe," Takeru says. "You just disappeared, and then Hikari came and said we should look for you, and we looked everywhere. But you were here all the time. What happened?"
"Hikari?" the boy says, pulling away. "…You remember Hikari?"
Takeru's face falls. "I don't want to talk about remembering stuff," he says, trying to ignore the rising pressure in the back of his head. "Most of it's bad."
"I'm sorry," Ken says, backing away. "I'm…I'm so sorry. I didn't…"
"Why are you apologising?" Takeru says. "You haven't-"
He gasps as pain splits his skull, and clutches his head. Suddenly he's… he's in the burning dream, strapped to a table and unable to move, and figure is looming over him, pressing something cold to the back of his neck. And then the scene shifts and the figure is stood out in the sun laughing at him - but he's not just a figure, he's got dark hair, and somehow Takeru knows who he is…
"Ken!" he cries, eyes opening just in time to see the boy turn and run. "Wait! Please don't go!"
Ken doesn't stop, and Takeru takes off after him, chasing him through the gardens. He feels sick and dizzy, and he's still not sure how his friend can be the same tall, scary person in his memories, but somehow he's certain that if he loses him now, he won't ever be able to find him again.
They reach the gate, and Ken runs away from the cottage, out over the grass. There's a desert that way now - the grass thins out to sand just a short way ahead and Ken stumbles, falling and rolling over and over down a sand dune which Takeru is sure wasn't there a moment ago.
He catches up to his friend and grabs him, but Ken isn't running any more. He's curled up in a ball, sobbing.
Takeru lets go, and sits down beside him. The memories in his head are shoring up. Isolated fragments connect. It's not a full picture of his past, but it's getting there. He feels different. There's so much more of his life than he expected, for one.
"I think I remember now," he says, wrapping his arms around his knees. "Well, sort of. You did some pretty terrible things."
There's no reply, but Ken goes silent and still.
"So did I," Takeru adds, when he's sure Ken isn't going to say anything. "It was… you did something to me, right? I don't remember all of it, but there was something you put in my neck. It made me… well, a pretty awful person, to be honest."
More silence. Takeru takes a breath, and carries on:
"I wish I didn't have all these memories. I wish I hadn't done the things I've done. I'm not really sure how I'm going to explain myself to Tokomon, or Hikari, or the others…except, they already know, don't they? Everyone knows - they know more than I do, because my head's still a mess trying to work out what happened, or…or even who I am. But Hikari still helped me. And she wanted to help you, as well. And you're still my friend, even if you've done bad things."
Ken looks up. His eyes are red with tears, and he looks completely miserable.
"But you didn't remember me," he says, hardly meeting Takeru's eyes. "You wouldn't have been my friend if you had. If you'd known what I did to you…"
Takeru shrugs. "Maybe. But I'm glad I didn't remember, because you know what? I like being your friend. And I don't think you're a bad person any more. So, maybe you don't feel like you deserve friends. I'm not really sure I do either, to be honest. I…I made Tokomon do things which should never have happened. Things I'd never forgive anyone else for, so I can't forgive myself either. And I hurt my friends - a lot. But Hikari and Tokomon seem to want to be my friends anyway, even after all that. And I'm the same with you."
Ken stares at him. "Why?"
Takeru frowns. It's hard, putting his feelings into words. Even now, when he feels as though he understands things so much better than he ever could before, the words don't come easily. It takes him a few minutes to find a way to explain.
"Because, I don't think I can forgive myself," he says at last. "But I can forgive you."
Takeru frowns to himself. It's not a very good explanation, really, and he can tell by the look on Ken's face.
"I don't remember everything from before," he adds. "I feel like there's a huge part of me missing. And maybe some of the bad things you did are in that missing bit, but what I do remember is you being my friend. I remember making those furniture forts, and climbing trees, and exploring together. I remember how you'd always try and give Poyomon half your food and then he'd give it back. I remember… I remember how lonely it was, when I woke up one morning and you were gone. We looked everywhere, you know. Why did you leave?"
Ken looks down. "I didn't want to," he says. "But I'm not sure if I can explain what happened. Gennai said-"
"Who's Gennai?" Takeru says.
"Uhh…" Ken looks worried, and starts backing up. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry Takeru, I didn't- It's nothing, you don't have to worry…"
"Wait," Takeru says. The name sounds familiar. He's sure he's heard it before. And there's the vague shape of a person he associates with it - not much taller than him, who stands all hunched over and knows a lot. He frowns, straining to remember more, then gasps as a memory surfaces - sitting inside a house that looks a little like the cottage, only without all the furniture. Almost all his friends are there except Hikari, and their partners, and Gennai is telling them something about… about, well, he can't remember that part. But it feels like another piece of himself, slotting back into place. Of course he remembers Gennai! Still…
"How do you know Gennai?" he asks, looking up at Ken. The boy wasn't there among his friends, he's sure of that. It was just the others, the ones who have always visited but never spoken, and another… a tall boy, whose presence presses on his mind, nagging and worrying at him. He can't remember what he looks like, but he's sure that it's important that he does-
"I met him," Ken says. "He…uh…He wanted to help you remember everything, but he couldn't. But you remember things now, so did he find a way?"
Takeru shakes his head. "I haven't seen Gennai in years," he says. "Not since I was eight. I started remembering things when we were looking for you. Everywhere we went turned out to be somewhere I'd already been before. And then, here you are, back where we started."
Ken looks down. "I…I'm glad, in a way," he says. "Glad you remember. At least something good came out of it. I just wish…"
Takeru elbows his friend gently. "I don't think we can change what happened," he says, trying to smike. "But I don't think we want to be those people again, either."
"But I can't escape it," Ken moans, shaking his head. "I'm not strong enough to get away. And more and more children will end up just the same, and it's all my fault!"
"What are you talking about?" Takeru asks, worried. He's pretty sure that none of what Ken's talking about fits into the gaps in his memory.
"The seed," Ken says, miserably. "He copied it, and he's doing the same thing to other children that I did to you."
"Who is?" he asks, feeling the prickles of irritation. It's yet another mystery which no one will explain.
Ken stares at him, looking horrified. "I…oh no! You don't know that part. It happened after you came here. I shouldn't have-"
"Why won't anyone tell me things?" Takeru cries, getting to his feet. "I just want to know what's going on, because ever since Hikari got here, it's like everyone has this secret they're keeping from me. And I'm tired, and hungry, and I'm fed up with being confused about everything. I just want…I want…" He blinks. What does he want?
And there it is. Hazy in his mind at first, like a dream - a real dream, not a memory pretending to be one - but getting stronger all the time, until the faces turn crisp and clear, and slot into place in his mind. It's the final piece, which makes the whole picture make sense, and suddenly he knows what's been missing. He knows who he is. He knows everything.
"Yamato," he says softly, thinking of a boy who sits and watches, and does nothing but cry. "I want my Onii-chan."
"He misses you," Ken says, his voice so quiet Takeru almost can't hear it. "A lot of people miss you."
And even amid the rush of his newly-restored memories, Takeru can't help but hear the sorrow in Ken's words, or the implication behind them. He sits down again, facing the other boy.
"People miss you as well," he says. "Your parents, your partner… your friends, too."
"Leafmon," Ken murmurs, turning pale. "I…I don't know what happened to him."
"Then we'll find him," Takeru says, leaning over to rest a hand on Ken's shoulder. He smiles as Ken looks up, and adds:
"I promise."
A.N.: First up, thank you sooo much to everyone who has left a review, or followed or favourited. It just continues to make my day, and generally be pretty overwhelming.
Secondly, this is definitely the part of the fic that I have been most nervous about reaching, because suddenly the answers are arriving, and I'm left hoping that they're good enough to match all this build-up and anticipation!
Honestly, this conversation took waaay too long to write given how long it is, and how long it usually takes me to do dialogue. I really hope that it makes sense, because honestly, I've had the whole plot in my head for so long that it's a little hard to see it from the perspective of someone who doesn't. This is probably why sensible people have beta readers. Oh well. Pleeease let me know if I've dun goofed and this doesn't make sense! (Or even if it does make sense, because feedback of all kinds is very much welcome!)
Basically, by this point it should be more-or-less obvious what has happened, and who everyone is, with only the mysterious person Ken refers to (hmm, who could that be?) and the nature of the world left as unanswered questions.
Also, I had previously mentioned a timeline of events that I was going to post at the end of this fic. I may still do that, but for Reasons (which will become clear in a week or three), it will quite possibly be a sort of truncated version. Hopefully it'll all come together in the next couple of chapters anyway. Or, I may post the full timeline to my tumblr when I complete Metanoia rather than have it attached to a fic. Decisions are hard.