General AN: This is just a little PSA/note to anyone who follows my writing in general on ff dot net. My frustrations with some aspects of the site are causing me to switch permanently to ao3 as a means of publishing fics. I won't be publishing any new works on this site, so if you're interested in continuing to read my stuff, you'll have to switch over to my tumblr (jhoomwrites) or ao3 (jhoom) accounts. HOWEVER, because I have a number of unfinished WIPs and series on this site, I will continue to update those until they're complete. That means that the following stories/series WILL continue to be updated on ff dot net: The Mark; Academy Blues; love to hate; What's in a Name?; any fics related to Welcome to SKU. Anything new that I post that is NOT related to those stories will NOT be published here.
AN: So I don't know if I've said this recently, but I'm going to re-iterate it. I'm not exactly following the ME3 timeline with this. I'm moving things around to work with the narrative, which is how Tali's been on board for so long and how I'm only just now getting to Rannoch. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is following some advise from the comments saying that the communication they've built is great, but it's all Shepard talking and dictating terms. So now Garrus'll get a chance to say his piece and hopefully it works.
For the next few missions, Garrus is genuinely too tired and hurt to even consider tagging along. The difference is this time, he's upfront about his limitations and listens to the good doctor's advice on the matter.
Though even if she would clear him with a clean bill of health, he doubts it would matter. Shepard watches him like a hawk and exploits their bond to monitor his recovery. He's always had a tendency to downplay his injuries, but now he finds every twitch and grimace carefully noted and assumed to be the worst unless he owns up to it.
It's a little disconcerting, having someone so openly care for him. He hasn't really had that since his mother.
So to keep the peace, he stays on the ship. Does his work in the Battery. And when it gets dull, he amuses himself with visits to Joker and James (the only two left willing to put up with his cabin fever). Oh, and he judiciously does his PT. A complete first for him.
He usually does his stretches and exercises before bed, putting them off as long as possible until there's no reasonable excuse left to occupy his time with. He's somehow managed to work a fourteen hour shift (so he gets marginally distracted when he's trying to calibrate the guns and get them to peak efficiency and maybe loses track of time, so what?) and can't be bothered with keeping his eyes open another minute.
About to climb into bed, a foot comes out and stops him.
"You do your stretches?" Shepard asks sleepily.
Garrus looks down at the foot firmly placed against his abdomen. It might appear half limp, but he's ninety percent sure she could still kick him off the bed without a moment's notice.
"No."
"Mkay." And he thinks he's gotten away with it, until she adds, "Then go sleep on the couch."
"You can't be serious," he sputters. He feels the slight way her leg tenses, bracing to exert itself. "You're serious."
He's too mentally exhausted to argue, so he grabs a pillow and moves to the couch without complaint. It's a nice couch. Soft cushions but firm support. Hell, he's fallen asleep on it before. But now he tosses and turns and can't quite get comfortable because there's this missing piece of the equation.
With a huff, he kicks off the couch and quickly goes through his exercises in the dim light of the fish tank. In record time, he finishes and climbs into bed. This time he's not stopped. Instead, Shepard moves over and gives up her warm spot. As he settles in, she snuggles up next to him.
"Knew you'd see it my way," she breathes against his chest.
"You hardly gave me a choice. You held the bed for ransom."
"You've got the couch and your own bed."
"Yeah, but only one of them has you."
"You smooth talker, you."
It grates on his nerves a bit to be off of ground missions, but he resigned himself to it. The only time it actually irks him is Rannoch. He wants to be there for Shepard, for Tali, maybe even a little for Legion. But there's a part of him that knows better. Because the Crucible's almost done, and he needs to be prepared for that fight. And he will not let Shepard walk into that alone.
The comm link is open and he patches in, listens to the mission as he works. It's either that or pester Joker for updates.
There's a buzzing in his hand, but like a fool, he ignores it. Until static and gunfire blare over the comm.
"It's a live Reaper!"
Fuck.
He listens to the feed as he amps up the guns and hopes they're strong enough to take out an honest to god Reaper. The pain in his hand flares up, a hot spot around the mark. A few weeks ago it would've worried him, but in the wake of the Leviathan, he knows just how deep that pain can truly go. It's an annoyance that's easily ignored, one that reminds him, if nothing else, that Shepard is not indoctrinated.
And he knows the instant they've succeeded in killing the damn thing, because the pain fades and his talons reflexively relax. He takes in a deep breath and lets it out. Thank the Spirits, looks like they'll live to fight another day.
He taps out a message to Shepard, simply because he needs something to do. Even in the relief he feels, he's antsy from un-spent energy and worry.
Garrus: Look at the type of trouble you get into when I'm not there to watch your six.
Almost instantly, he receives a ping in reply.
Shepard: Look at how efficiently I can kill a Reaper without having to watch out for your sorry ass.
Garrus: You had a whole month without me and as far as I know you didn't take out any Reapers. Seems like your Reaper kill count is a lot higher with me around than not.
Shepard: I want you to know that I'm flipping you off right now.
Garrus: Noted.
He catches himself smiling and snorts a laugh. Strange how he can find anything good in this shitstorm of a war, yet here he is. Happier than he's been in... well, he doesn't really want to look too closely at that, because it would probably be too depressing to actually quantify the months, if not years, of unease he's lived when it comes to Shepard.
The pieces have been slowly falling into place as he and Shepard adjust to their new-found trust. Everything Javik said about the marks being there as a warning system. It's not that Garrus didn't believe him, but he didn't quite understand how much it would change things. He's been getting subtle input from Shepard for years through their bond, seemingly without any control and certainly without any knowledge on her part.
Now that they're both aware of the marks, they can tap into it. They can feed each other encouragement or affection merely by thinking it. And he's slept better at night knowing that if Shepard were ever to succumb to indoctrination, he would know. He can prevent it, he can keep her safe and whole and her. If nothing else, that makes it all worthwhile.
That night, he sneaks up while Shepard's showering off the grime of the mission and joins her under the hot spray. She doesn't startle as he wraps his arms around her and nuzzles her neck, only leans into the embrace.
"Not gonna lie, I like having you on missions with me, but this is a nice consolation prize."
"In that case." He starts to pull back and she grunts in protest. "I can't give you an incentive to leave me behind-"
"Get your ass healthy and I'll take you anywhere, you fucking adrenaline junkie. Just get back here."
Garrus relents and drips back in to kiss along her jawline. "Fine, but only because I love you."
He says it freely now, and every time he feels the minute way her body tenses before it melts. He only reacts to the latter, but notes that the idea of him loving her still makes her anxious. Whether it's self-doubt or doubt in him, he's unsure, but what he does know is he's going to go out of his way to make her believe it.
The next time they're on the Citadel (their last day on the Citadel, considering everything), he gets inspiration looking up at the vehicles buzzing about. On a whim, he tells Shepard where to meet him and goes to grab everything he needs.
He's almost done packing when Shepard's voice greets him.
"Something on your mind?"
Going for nonchalant, he shrugs. "Thought you could use a break from being Commander Shepard for a bit."
"What'd you have in mind?"
He gestures to the car. "Hop in."
They make a beeline for the Presidium. He cruises around for a minute until he finds the perfect spot. It's beautiful, like he always imagined it would be, but he barely notices. The shooting contest is fun, the perfect distraction for his rapidly beating heart. He's planned this out for a while, and he needs to calm down before his nerves get to him.
(And it says something about him, doesn't it, that he's more nervous about a heart to heart with Shepard than squaring off with Cerberus?)
"So what's King of the Bottle Shooters going to do to celebrate his title?"
When she turns around to look at him, she sees him on one knee. There's no immediate recognition of the pose there, which throws him off briefly, but he recovers quickly.
"Shepard, I uh, I hope I'm doing this right, but this is what the vids showed when I looked up human customs-"
Understanding dawns on her and she swallows thickly. "Garrus-"
He ignores the pleading, warning note in her voice. "Look, Shepard, I know you're worried. Scared. Terrified. Take your pick. And I want you to know that I love you. That I care about you. And no, I can't pinpoint when that feeling started. If it was before or after I saw that you were my soulmate.
"But," he says firmly, hopes the assertive confidence of his tone will make her not just listen but hear what he's telling her. "But let me tell you what else I know. I love you for you. And not just the good parts like your intelligence and courage and loyalty and how you're like a force of nature in a fight. But the bad parts too. The temper and the terrible driving and the cringe worthy dancing and how loudly you snore-"
"I do not snore-"
"You do. And I love how adorable you are when you do it. But that's not the point. I care about you and not because some mark tells me I'm supposed to. I should've said this a while ago, when I first showed you my hand, but I didn't think you'd believe me. Now, honestly, I don't care if you believe me or not, because I need you to know.
"I've loved you for a while, even if I can't remember when I first noticed it. And when I look at how deeply that love has rooted itself in my life, my soul, I know that I would've loved you no matter what. Even if I'd never found out about your mark, even if some bizarre Prothean mating program hadn't paired us up, there's no way I would've been able to help falling for you.
"And I'm willing to wait until you truly believe every word that I'm saying. I'll say it every day if I have to. Because you're it for me, Shepard. There's nothing, no one else out there that I could possibly want or need or love more than you. Plain and simple. I'm not going anywhere.
"So would you, Jane Shepard, do me the honor of becoming Queen of the Bottle Shooters?"
There are tears in her eyes, which he expected. But they blot out everything else, make it impossible to read her. "I will marry you on one condition, Garrus Vakarian."
Without a second's hesitation, he says, "Anything."
She falls to her knees and rests her hands on each of his shoulders. The intensity of her gaze, even as she tries not to cry, makes him hold his breath. "We are going to survive, you hear me? We're going to beat the Reapers and survive. And then I'll marry you."
"So... that's a yes?"
"Is that a... Jesus, Vakarian, of course it's a yes!" She pulls him into a kiss, fierce and possessive. Her hands snake around his waist and grip him tight. Damn, maybe wearing the armor was a poor choice because he desperately longs to feel her arms around him. She leans her forehead against his and whispers, "I love you, too. Fuck, I've loved you for so long it hurt-"
"Shh, Shepard. It's alright. I understand. Don't worry about it."
"Okay," she breathes. Nods and blinks away more tears. "Okay."
AN: The plan is to have one more final chapter/epilogue to wrap things up and take things to the end of ME3 ^-^