"Return to Paradise Trail" PART FIFTEEN
June 27, 1872
Maybe I have stepped into a dream. Maybe I will wake up and realize it was all just a cruel joke. Or maybe I am finally getting back that hope I felt last year now that we have come to the final days of our journey to Paradise Valley. Ranger Cooper says it is about a two-day's ride to Restoration Pass. From there, we only have one more day of travel before we finally reach Paradise Valley. This Texas Ranger has become a trusted friend during our travels. Yet still I sense he is not telling me something. Perhaps it is just his personality. A man that has gone through as much as he has is entitled to be a bit reserved if he so wishes.
It was a rather pleasant day today as we came to Samson's Trading Post. The kind Irishman was very obliging and helped me find what few things I would be needing for the last portion of my journey. He even was kind enough to tell me about his brief acquaintance with Molly, John, and Sam after he found out that I was a close friend…and family member. I couldn't help myself the rest of the day as we rode. Nothing could keep my mind off of Molly's description of this country. It was just as beautiful as she had said as we sat sewing that day just before Sam and I were wed. I cannot contain my joy to think that I will soon be with them all once more.
Three days. I can hardly believe I am that close to reuniting with Molly, John, and hopefully Sam. I won't deny that I have been somewhat frightened of the possibility that he isn't there. That maybe something happened to delay him upon his journey back that even the Masons aren't aware of. Yet I try to think only good thoughts and picture the look on his face when he sees me and Sam Jr. in just three days. How could such a short amount of time feel like an eternity?
Tomorrow will be a rather long day. So I must end my entry early tonight although I feel I may have left out a detail or two. I pray this isn't the case. Even so, I don't think I could forget one speck of this journey if I tried.
Curiosity seemed to get the best of Ranger Hayes Cooper the night before he and Charlotte were set to arrive in Paradise Valley. As he sat nursing a cup of steaming hot coffee between two fidgeting hands, he watched Mrs. Brazos from across the campfire. The young mother stronger than he had at first presumed. Secretly, he wondered what all she had encountered in her rather young life that had made her so strong. For her knew only the hardest knocks made the strongest people. Or at least that was what experience had taught him through his own struggles in life.
With a touch of apprehension, the Ranger opened his mouth to speak, closing it once before he finally made up his mind. "Mrs. Brazos?"
Charlotte looked up from rocking little Sam to sleep, her eyes sparkling with a gentle smile. "Yes, Ranger Cooper?"
Cooper was even more hesitant to speak now, fearing he would wipe away the trace of sudden joy from the young woman. Yet her frown faded, and her searching eyes told him in not so many words to continue. So setting his coffee cup aside next to the fire that lit up the darkness around them, he sighed. "Can I ask you something, ma'am?"
"Of course," Charlotte nodded.
"What made you want to come west?"
Charlotte's smile slowly returned, faded, and then returned again as she looked down into Sam Jr.'s striking blue eyes. "I don't know. I really don't know what it was that motivated me. That is, except my being desperate after Mr. Wooster passed away." She laughed softly. "My, that seems like so long ago."
Charlotte turned back to face Hayes Cooper, fastening her gaze in his. "Even though I fought the idea hand and foot, Molly and John were so kind to me when I needed some folks like them the most. And though I wouldn't let myself believe it at the time, Sam Brazos was probably the kindest of them all. I only wish I would have realized the gift I had in him long before we almost lost each other for good. At least we have the rest of our lives now to make up for my stubbornness."
Letting the silence fall between them, Charlotte smiled at the distant memories and tried picturing through her mind's eye what the future might look like. A sprawling ranch. Two or three little ones crowding around her in the ranch house kitchen while she watched through the window as Sam rode off to see to some problem within his ranch. At least this was her dream. And in her heart, she knew Sam shared it with her.
"What do you mean?" Cooper interrupted Charlotte's reverie.
Jerking about ever so gently, Charlotte processed Cooper's question and then silently reached across herself and the baby to her carpetbag nearby, drawing out her journal. She extended her arm to the Ranger and smiled. "I think this will tell you everything you want to know."
Cooper smiled and shook his head. "No, ma'am. I couldn't."
"Please," Charlotte insisted. "I want you to know why I'm so doggone determined and stubborn." She smiled, hoping to ease the man before her of his own slight stubborn streak.
With a surrendering shake of his head and an impulsive grin, Cooper took the book from Charlotte and began reading. It wasn't long before his smile faded as he turned page after page, reading into the deep hours of the night. Charlotte was fast asleep by the time the Ranger finished reading her journal up until her entry from just yesterday. And now, if anything, he knew for certain that the next day would be the hardest of them all for this young woman to face despite everything she had written in her little leather-bound journal since she chose to leave her home.
##
The first thing Charlotte heard as she began to awaken to her surroundings was an eagle's cry overhead. Sunlight gently coated her face, causing her to squint beneath its charge before she even opened her eyes. Yet as she did so, she noticed Ranger Cooper on the other side of the campfire. He seemed preoccupied by something in his arms. As she forced herself awake, rubbing at her neck while she forced herself upright, Charlotte realized that it was her own son that Ranger Cooper held in his arms.
Ranger Cooper smiled before standing and crossing the short distance towards her. He then stooped low to place little Sam in the arms of his mother. "I see you're awake. Your baby was fussing some. I thought I'd hold him for a bit while you got some extra rest."
"Thank you." Charlotte took Sam Jr. in her arms and loosened the blankets around him. She then smoothed out his thin black hair with the back of her hand, consoling his morning cries. Looking up to the Ranger once more, she cleared her throat. "Um, I think he's quite hungry."
"Oh, um," Ranger Cooper fumbled back towards his own camping spot and reached for his rifle. "I'll just go see if I can't find a rabbit or something for our breakfast." Cooper turned to walk away from camp but stopped midstride, a thought having occurred to him. "Oh, by the way…"
Charlotte turned up her gaze to the Ranger, waiting for him to speak.
"There's something I need to show you before we reach Paradise Valley."
Charlotte furrowed her brow with concern. "Oh?"
"Yeah, just past the next bend here." Cooper pointed beyond the cluster of woods that surrounded them to a rather large mountainside.
The Ranger then continued on walking away from the camp, disappearing into the wooden outskirts before Charlotte had a chance to question him. Instead, Charlotte turned her attention back to her child's needs and the thought of what the day could bring.
##
The sun was directly overhead when Ranger Cooper called a stop to his horse and dismounted, helping Charlotte with Sam Jr. before she too dismounted. Gentle winds and soft calls of eagles and small birds alike drew the young woman's curiosity as she took Sam Jr. back into her arms. After uttering a brief thanks, the Ranger led the way into a small grove of trees to the side of where they had stopped along the trail. Thankful that her child seemed content listening to nature's sounds as he looked up to her with his ocean-blue eyes, Charlotte followed Cooper closely behind, waving away a branch or to as she could while keeping her eyes open.
Something must have caught her eye. Or maybe it was a passing bird casting a shadow over the ground that suddenly caused her to look up from her walk. In the distance past Ranger Cooper was what appeared to be some sort of memorial. A grave perhaps. Small, weather-worn etchings on the wooden cross confirmed that it was a grave. But she couldn't quite make out the name or the dates from the distance. Suddenly, Ranger Cooper stopped walking and turned to Charlotte, blocking her from seeing the grave.
Charlotte tried looking over his shoulder briefly but surrendered with a twisted smile. "What did you want me to see?"
Glancing over the content child in Charlotte's arms with care in his eyes, he extended a hand apprehensively. "Would you mind if I held your baby for a moment?"
Charlotte hesitated, almost chuckling under her breath. "I don't understand."
"You will." Ranger Cooper's voice was firm as he gazed into her eyes, almost piercing her soul with such a simple pairing of words.
Surrendering Sam Jr. to the Ranger's strong arms, Cooper nodded, signaling for Charlotte to carry on towards the grave ahead.
Charlotte listened as the eagle soared overhead and the dry grasses crunched beneath her boots. She could feel the sun warming her bare neck, and the winds just barely cooled the warmth of the summer from her body. And with a slight lift of her gaze, she gave the area a scant onceover, coming to a stop next to the grave. She could tell the grave wasn't fresh. It had been there for months, she thought, lifting her head to read the words etched carefully upon the wood that marked the place where someone had lost their life. It read, Sam Brazos 1849-1871.
Tears stung at Charlotte's eyes as she tried with all her might to deny what she had just read. Weakness suddenly overcame her, but she held her ground. At least she tried to convince herself it was all just a nightmare as she finally felt her knees buckle from beneath her, bringing her down to the grasses below her. She tried stifling the sobs that welled up from within her. But it was no use as she reached a hand over the grave, trying to make sense of what seemed like a blur...a dream that would end if only she could wake up.
Once she had finally managed to gain her composure, Charlotte turned her tear-stained face to Ranger Cooper. "How—how did it happen?"
The Ranger's eyes narrowed, his thoughts drifting back to that day. "The wagon train was just about a day away from Paradise Valley just like we are now." He nodded towards a rocky cliff nearby. "Right over there, the Tarpin gang had a trap set when your folks came through here. We walked right into an ambush. But Sam, he got shot when a group of young girls were in the line of fire. He saved their lives, ma'am."
Charlotte lowered her gaze and wiped her tears, not facing the Ranger but inhaling deeply as she felt more tears pool into her eyes. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like a moment alone."
"Sure." Ranger Cooper turned to amble back to their horses with the little one still in his arms.
Looking back a brief second to be sure Ranger Cooper was gone, Charlotte turned back to look over the grave. She felt another tear slip from her eyes as she finally realized she would never share another day…another single moment with Sam on this earth. She wanted to scream. But it would do no good. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. But she would never be able to again. What made her heart ache the most was that he would never hold his son in his arms. And they never even had the chance to say goodbye.
"Oh, Sam," Charlotte sniffed hard before swallowing the growing lump in her throat. She wiped at more tears and glanced up at the wooden cross. "I guess this is really goodbye…for good. I—I'm sorry I doubted you. I just wish—I just wish you were here." Keeping her tears at bay was becoming a losing battle.
"You have such a handsome son, Sam." Charlotte finally smiled. "You would have loved him. I will miss you so much, Sam Brazos. Our little boy is the only thing I have left of what we had together. And I will treasure him. Until we meet again, my love…." Charlotte drove herself to her feet and set a hand against her lips to kiss them before she pressed those same fingers to the wooden cross. After a few more moments of silence filled in only by the winds that her memories seemed to travel upon, Charlotte turned around to go find Ranger Cooper and her son, turning back only once in her hesitant stride to say one last goodbye.
##
Charlotte's heart although weighed down with its share of grief was given a moment's relief as she gazed over Paradise Valley from a high ridge overlooking it. Ranger Cooper had been wary of Charlotte's request to stop there since dusk was approaching. But due to the circumstances, the Ranger was apt to allow the young woman some leniency.
The valley was just as Molly had described. Beautiful rolling mountains encompassed flowing rivers and miles of luscious, green grasses was only the beginning of what appeared to be the most beautiful place on God's earth that Charlotte had ever seen. Of course she knew there were many places on the earth she had never seen that could contest this beauty before her. But somehow nothing could compare to the Paradise in her eyes that very moment. As she closed her eyes, not caring what Ranger Cooper would think, Charlotte could feel the wind whip at her face, cooling her on the outside while memories of the past soothed her on the inside. Then opening her eyes back up, she sighed. "This place is beautiful. I can see why it is paradise for so many."
Ranger Cooper nodded. "Yes, ma'am. It's nice. Are you ready to go?"
Charlotte nodded reluctantly. As much as she wanted to stay and take it all in, she also longed to see Molly and John. For many questions still remained unanswered.
The twosome arrived at a village-like town about a half hour later. Hints of misty pink sunset merged with the blue of the sky while bursts of sunlight signaled the dying end to this day. Charlotte wasn't sure if she wanted to say goodbye to this day. It was almost as if she was losing Sam for good as that sun sank into the western sky. She knew the notion was ridiculous. But what else could a grieving heart feel except the longing to hold on to the past?
The dirt path before them was surrounded on either side by various outposts. A store greeted them first as they road past followed by several homes with picket fences surrounding them. It seemed that the place was made up of mostly homes with businesses placed strategically throughout. Then Charlotte noticed a sign dangling from the edge of the next building. It whipped in the wind so that Charlotte had a difficult time reading the words etched on it. But she made out the words doctor and Adams quite well. She immediately recognize the name from Molly's letters but set the thought aside for now as she saw a blonde-haired woman in a red blouse suddenly come out of the doctor's office. Her back was to Charlotte. But Charlotte couldn't help but sense she resembled Molly quite a bit. Yet her smile quickly turned to a frown as the woman turned around. It wasn't Molly.
Sam Jr. cooed a bit in Charlotte's arms as he wriggled some in the sling. He would be wanting to be fed soon, Charlotte thought as she turned to Ranger Cooper. "Should we ask someone if they know John Mason?"
Cooper sighed. "I don't know. Doesn't seem to be many folks around this place."
"Well, it is supper time," Charlotte reasoned with a smile.
"True."
"Well, thank you, Molly. It was a wonderful meal." A voice from a house they just passed caused Charlotte to jerk towards it. She watched as a woman, a man, and a little girl exited the house. To her delight, it was the Grishams.
"Mrs. Grisham!" Charlotte called out.
The woman turned towards her voice with apprehension, squinting in the darkness to get a better view. But she was having a hard time making out the person on the horse nearby. Meanwhile, a man and another woman stepped from the house onto the small porch to see what the commotion was about.
As quick as she could in consideration of her child, Charlotte handed of the reigns of her horse to Ranger Cooper and dismounted slowly before hurrying through the gate of the picket fence and up the walk only to stop mid-way. "Molly? John?"
Molly's eyes suddenly grew wide, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye as she sprang forward and down the steps, rushing to Charlotte with arms outstretched. "Charlotte! Oh, dear Charlotte! I thought we'd never see you again."
The two women cried on each other's shoulders for a few oblivious moments before Charlotte pulled away. "Careful," she chuckled.
Molly looked down and smiled penitently. "Is this…?"
Charlotte nodded eagerly, a twinkle in her eye as she lifted her son proudly from his sleep and handed him to Molly. Molly didn't object one bit and cradled the child as if he were her own.
"What's his name?"
"Sam," Charlotte sniffed and wiped at a tear just as John walked up next to his wife. "Sam Brazos, Jr." She then let John step forward and wrap her in his strong embrace. "I can't tell you how happy I am to finally be here."
John pulled Charlotte away to look into her eyes. "Did you receive our letters?"
Charlotte shook her head. "No. I only got one. But it was tattered and almost a year late."
Molly's forehead creased with concern. "We wrote countless times. And—and none of the letters reached you?"
Charlotte shook her head again, lowering her gaze.
John then wrapped a strong arm around her and guide her forward, pausing once to acknowledge Ranger Cooper. He smiled. "We would love to have you join us, Mr. Cooper."
The Ranger smiled and tipped his hat. "If it's all the same to you, I'll be going now. My job here is done."
"Are you sure?" Molly reasoned. "You're more than welcome, sir."
"Thank you, ma'am. But I'd best be on my way."
Charlotte turned to face the Ranger. "Thank you, Ranger Cooper. Thank you for taking me to Sam's grave instead of just telling me what had happened."
With a tight-lipped nod and a slight smile that hesitated to surface, Hayes Cooper clicked his tongue, tapping the sides of his horse to be on its way.
Charlotte watched the dust cloud rise in the distance as he rode away only to pray that one day she might meet that man again. He was an honorable man. Perhaps even a man that she'd be proud for her son to grow up to admire. And maybe someday Sam Jr. could meet him, knowing he was one of the last to see his father alive.
"We'll be saying goodnight," Mr. Grisham gave the Masons his regards as his wife and daughter welcomed Charlotte. "It was good seeing you again, Mrs. Brazos."
"Likewise," Charlotte shook Mr. Grisham's hand before following the Masons inside their home.
"Charlotte!" Tommy overtook her with a hug before his mother scolded him.
After Charlotte assured Molly it was alright, the foursome sat down around the wooden table, each taking their own seat as Molly poured coffee from the kettle. Handing Charlotte her cup, Molly sat down next to Charlotte across from her husband, taking Sam Jr. back into her arms to give Charlotte a rest.
With the steam that rose from the coffee cup that she fumbled with listlessly, Charlotte's thoughts drifted in the silence.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do now?" Molly gently rocked Sam Jr., raising her gaze to Charlotte.
Charlotte simply shook her head.
Molly placed a hand over Charlotte's on the table. "You are more than welcome to stay with us, Charlotte."
"Thank you," Charlotte smiled before reaching down to the floor and lifting an envelope from her trail-worn saddlebag. "I keep thinking about this that Sam left me. He said not to open it until he came back. Do you suppose…" Charlotte let her words fade as she looked into Molly's reassuring eyes. "Do you think he would mind?"
Molly's only response was a gently-growing smile and a single nod.
"I don't think he would mind at all," John replied, smiling before pointing to the envelope still in Charlotte's hand. "Go ahead. Open it up."
"Yeah, Aunt Charlotte!" Tommy grinned. "Open it up."
Charlotte smiled over them all, letting an exhale pass over her lips. "Oh, alright." She carefully slit the envelope open, drew out a folded piece of paper, unfolded it, and read aloud, "Dear Charlotte, I know it's a little late, but I wanted to get you a proper wedding present even though I know you would say that it isn't necessary. I got a little suspicious when Adams had such a quick change of heart. After finding out that it was because of you that he changed his mind, I offered an anonymous bid to buy the land back from him. I'll spare you, darling, from the other details. In this envelope, you will find the deed to the land your father left you. It's mine now and also yours. And if you still want to, we can start a ranch there like you've dreamed of. I think I like the idea of settling down with you and our son on a ranch of our own. With all my love, Sam."