DCM A/N: This week's squeezer is Artemis Leaena who has squeezed us on to the floor panting. She brought her own picture prompt, so make sure to check out our blog and see for yourself *fans self*. www . dirtycheekymonkeys . blogspot . com Ready, set, squeeze!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Squeeze My Lemon~~~~~~~~~ 12.07.11~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disclaimer: TheTwilightSaga & all associated characters are the copyrighted creation & property of Stephenie Meyer. Any other publicly recognized characters, brands, quotes or "catch phrases" are the sole trademarked &/or copyrighted property of their respective creators. No copyright or trademark infringement is purposely intended with this story. The plot & any original characters of this story are the property of Artemis Leaena, and may not be reposted, reproduced, or translated without the express permission of the author.
A/N:
Thank you, to my wonderful beta, wmr1601, for putting up with my pervy heiny & always being willing to "look over" my work! =)
Playlist:
Justin Timberlake – Sexy Back (ft. Timbaland)
INXS – What You Need
Make a Wish, Baby!
EPOV
This was either the brightest idea ever to be conjured up, or was about to be the most brilliant epic fail in the history of the universe. I wasn't even sure anymore how things had gotten to this point in the first place. One minute, I'm standing at the counter of one of the jewelry stores in the mall casually mentioning to my best friend, Emmett, that I wished I could do something more personal for Bella since she went to the trouble of learning how to pole dance and then gave me a private show for my last birthday, and the next, I'm standing backstage at a strip club.
It wasn't enough to just go out and dance, apparently. I had to have a costume too, so I had a studded leather collar around my neck, was in a pair of black leather pants with Velcro down the sides, and was wearing the tightest speedo in creation – I was damned if I was going to wear the leather thong I had been handed originally. To add to my humiliation, I had to stand perfectly still as some gap-toothed, cackling old lady with grabby-hands who smelled like gin, cigarette smoke, and menthol-rub slathered baby oil all over my arms, back, and chest. I would put on the matching black leather vest just before I went out to face my doom.
Em had, somehow, made me believe that Bella would love a full-out production and insisted that he should make all the arrangements. I didn't even want to know why he kept a male strip club in the contacts of his phone, but before we had left the mall – sans the diamond journey pendant and necklace I had originally intended to be for my wife's twenty-sixth birthday present, mind you – he had booked me to dance on the main stage of "Stick Shift," arranged for our friends and family to be in attendance, and convinced me to visit a waxing salon to be "manscaped." I don't know how Bella does that every few weeks … that shit hurt like a motherfucker!
I felt a sharp smack to my left ass cheek, followed by a wheezing, "You're all done, sugar. You sure you don't want a job? You could make great tips with an ass like this …" she squeezed my right cheek "… and that monster dick I saw you cram in those hot pants."
I frantically shook my head no and fought to keep from throwing up in my mouth as she swatted my backside once more before exiting down the hall, an entirely unholy laugh trailing after her that caused my dick and balls to shrivel up and try to take refuge inside me. Crazy old bitch had better hope that she hadn't killed the dick in question, or else she'd have to answer to my wife. We had been trying to get pregnant with our first child for well over a year, and Bella was so determined that sometimes I felt as though she would prefer it if she could just have my cock without having to deal with me. Not that I really minded the gratuitousness of our sex life in the slightest.
"Whoa, look who's too sexy for his shirt." I turned and glared down Emmett, who was leaning in the open doorway with a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. "You ready to do this, sexy-boy? We've got your girl sitting front and center with a fist full of dollar bills."
I rolled my eyes and flipped both my middle fingers up at him. Hell no, I wasn't ready to go get half-naked and shake my ass with Bella's brother, his wife, Em, and his wife – not to mention half the horny women of the greater Seattle area – looking on. But it was too late to back out now, so I allowed Em to direct me to the shimmering blue curtain I would make my grand entrance from before he left to return to his seat.
I could hear the screaming of hundreds of rabid women – and a few men – on the other side of the barrier and wondered, yet again, why I thought I could do this. I tried to imagine it was just my beautiful girl out there waiting for me and felt a settling calm steal over me. My breathing had just returned to normal when the booming voice of the DJ resounded over the cacophony of squeals, cheers, and howls.
BPOV
"For the last fucking time, Rose, I do not want to be here. I want to go home and wait for Edward. You remember him, right? My husband?"
Her laughter over my growing irritation was grating on my last nerve and I was about five seconds away from smashing my beer bottle over her head and calling a taxi. I had never been into the whole male stripper craze before I was married, and I sure as hell wasn't into it now. But my friends, including my brother – which was just weird as all get-out – had insisted on dragging me to this damn club tonight for my birthday. They said they were "keeping me company and out of trouble" since I couldn't spend today with Edward.
As a long, strong arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me against the hard body it was attached to, I felt instantly calm and at peace. I don't know how my brother, Jasper, always managed to slay the beast that was my temper and create an air of serenity around me, but it was a trait that probably came in rather handy since he had married my hyperactive, shopaholic best friend, Alice.
"Trust me, Bon-Bel, the last thing I want to do is sit here and watch a bunch of sweaty guys get naked for my wife and little sister, but believe me, thisis where you want to be right now. Okay?"
My response was cut off by the echoing sound of the DJ announcing the next dancer.
"Ladies, I hope you've got your whips and chains ready to tame this dirty next dirty boy. Stick Shift is proud to present for you, in a one-night only performance, the super-sexy Eduardo!"
Half a second later, the tacky blue sequined curtain burst apart as the opening riffs of Justin Timberlake's SexyBackbegan playing, and out strutted a leather-clad … Edward? My jaw dropped as I jumped to my feet and shouted, "What the fuck is my husband doing up there shaking his ass?" turning back to my friends and pointing at the stage area.
They all had the good grace to look embarrassed, and even big, hulking Emmett was scooting his chair away from me as if in fear of my tirade. Alice's nervous laugh drew my attention.
"Happy birthday!" Alice exclaimed, but I must have been flashing my "are you fucking stupid" sign, because her voice lost its excited tone as she soothed, "He just wanted to do something for your birthday like you did for his."
I pivoted on my heel, heading toward the stage in preparation of ripping my man down from there and dragging his dumb ass out of here and away from the gaggle of salivating hyenas now lining the sides of the dais. My plans changed and morphed into something closer to a base need when I got my first good look at my gorgeous husband.
He had removed his tiny vest and tossed it back behind him, and was shimmying, shaking, and stalking his way up the catwalk in my direction. My breath caught in my throat and a fine sheen of sweat broke out on my forehead as I watched his well-muscled, lithe body drop in front of me. He was on his knees and his bulging crotch was level with my chest but nowhere near close enough for me to grab hold of – damn it!
As if he could read my mind, a sultry chuckle escaped his perfectly pouty lips and drifted to me over the din surrounding us. When his smoldering jade eyes locked with mine, however, the menagerie of ridiculous displays and myriad screeches faded away and it was if we were the only two souls on the planet, much less the room. By the time he placed his hands on the stage, positioning him on all fours, I was panting and digging my fingers into the wooden railing in front of me. A pulsing ache was forming in my nether region, and my panties were becoming uncomfortably flooded, as my fine-ass man stalked toward me like a mountain lion on the prowl.
When he reached me, he lunged forward and planted a brief, but fierce kiss on my lips and then leaned back onto his haunches. The air was heavy with tension, and I was in danger of scrambling up onto the stage and mounting Edward right here in front of all and sundry.
Edward started crooning along with Justin, "Dirty baby, you see these shackles, baby, I'm your slave …" Edward held his wrists together and out toward me "… I'll let you whip me if I misbehave. It's just that no one makes me feel this way." He swiveled on his knees and dropped back down on all fours with his tight, rounded, wiggling ass right in front of me … so I reached out and swatted him soundly on the right cheek.
He jumped up to his feet with a loud squeak and swung around to face me again. I threw my head back in laughter when he smirked and winked at me. The man was going to be the death of me yet. I may not have been crazy about the idea of sharing the delightful view of his body with these other bitches, but as I knew I would be the only one of them to get to taste all that delicious skin, I felt better about getting into the swing of things.
"Take 'em off, sweet cheeks!" I shouted as he started gyrating his hips and running his long-fingered hands up and down the tops of his thighs.
He responded by granting me another lop-sided grin and a wink from those beautifully long-lashed eyes before his fingers started dancing higher up his body. He threw his arms up over his head, clasping his hands together and flexing his biceps as his hips began thrusting in a manner that had my lady bits throbbing in remembrance of those strong muscles propelling him against me. Then he suddenly reached down, grabbed his pants by the waist, and gave a quick tug, ripping the material away from his legs and revealing the snug, black spandex hugging his musculature.
His obvious arousal was pressed tightly against the fabric of his Speedo, and I tamped down the flash of possessive jealousy that flamed to life within me as some blonde skank-whore beside me started screaming for Edward to, "Come to mama!" Bitch was not getting her disease-riddled hands on my husband's cock, even if I had to slam her peroxided head into the wooden structure before us to accomplish that goal.
Edward was still rolling and circling his hips in time to the music, but the song was drawing to a close, so his actions were drawing him closer and closer to the back of the stage and the exit. As soon as the last note sounded, and uproar of screams and applause erupted around us and my red-faced husband bent to retrieve his discarded clothing and disappeared behind the gaudy cloth hanging behind him.
I whipped around and grabbed my purse, asking Emmett how to take me back to the dressing area as I did so. There was no way I was letting Edward walk back out here among the horny, clawing jackals waiting to attack him. We were going to go out the back way, and then I was going to do some attacking of my own. I was aroused to the point of pain, and only a slice of Edward cake was going to quench this hunger gnawing at my insides.
We made our way through the throng of hyped-up females, who were fortunately distracted by the two police uniform clad dancers who had come on stage, and were stopped by an extremely large man outside the stage door.
"Sorry, folks. Patrons aren't allowed beyond this point."
"I'm Emmett McCarty, I'm on the backstage list, and this is Isabella Cullen, Eduardo's wife."
The guard-dog started flipping through some sheets of paper on a clipboard before finally nodding, stepping aside, and opening the door for us to enter. I couldn't thank Emmett enough for whatever he had done to make this a possibility. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I might not be allowed back here with Edward and the other dancers.
Several of said males offered me come-hither smiles and appreciative whistles as we made our way down the winding hall and through two different dressing rooms while Em glared and growled at them, making sure to keep an arm firmly around my shoulders. We finally made it to the back of the building where Edward was standing in nothing but a pair of jeans as he wiped a wet washcloth over his arms and chest.
Emmett leaned down and whispered in my ear, "This is where I leave you, B. Happy birthday!" He then kissed my cheek and shut the door behind him as he backed out.
I snuck up behind Edward, and he jumped about a mile in the air when I reached around him and took the cloth so I could wipe down his back for him.
"Hmm, thank you, baby."
I hummed an acknowledgement and kissed his shoulder blade, but kept wiping the oil from his body. "Sorry if I scared you. I just thought you might need some help reaching back here. How'd you get the oil on your back in the first place?"
"This really freaky old lady who smelled bad and took way too long slicking me up did it," he explained as he slid his shirt over his head and slipped his feet into his flip-flops.
He seemed so chagrined at the ordeal he had put himself through that I couldn't help the laughter the bubbled up out of me. As a peace offering, I leaned up and kissed the pout from his lips, tossing the soiled cloth onto the counter behind him before I reached down to take his hand and tug him after me.
"C'mon, stud. I want to unwrap my present …" I stopped to turn and flash him a lascivious grin, letting my eyes wander down to the rapidly tenting crotch of his jeans "… and I need to blow out my candle." His eyes were black glass rimmed in emerald rings and his breathing was strained as he swallowed thickly and nodded.
We ducked and weaved our way through the dancers lining the halls and avoided the ones with the loudest cat-calls as we made our way to the back exit of the club. Edward was decidedly less than eager to face the riotous mob he had left behind in the wake of his strip-tease, and I thought my panties were going to spontaneously combust if I didn't get this man someplace private … fast.
Our car was in sight and we made a beeline for it, the tension between us having built to a near unbearable level. Edward was momentarily confused when he went to open the passenger side door for me only to have me remove his hand from the latch and reach back to open the back door instead. There was no way I could keep myself from attaching my hands, lips, and other parts to my husband's dick during the thirty-minute drive home. I needed him now.
I nudged Edward until he climbed into the backseat and then I crawled in after him, shutting and locking the door behind me. He was sitting in the middle of the seat, and I clambered over him until I sat straddling him, his denim covered cock pressing against me where I ached for him.
"Bell–"
I cut off his questioning by capturing his lips with mine and licking and nipping until he opened his mouth for my invading tongue to slip in and tangle with his. My hands were tangled in and gripping his hair, holding his mouth to mine as we devoured each other frantically. I released his lips and assaulted his chin and jaw with tiny, nibbling kisses as I worked my way up to his ear where I took his earlobe between my lips, scraping my teeth and sucking by turns, just how I knew he loved. Sure enough, Edward started shivering and groaning beneath me, and then he planted his open mouth at the juncture of my shoulder and neck and began biting and sucking on me, marking me, as his hands roamed over my stomach, tits, and ass.
I was a gasping, quaking puddle of turned-on goo. I dug one hand into the back of his head, telling him silently that I loved what he was doing, while I allowed the other one to trail down his chest, over his toned abdomen, to the waist of his pants. Once there, my fingers deftly flicked open the button closure and made short work of pulling down the zipper that stood between me and my prize. Edward groaned deep in his chest when the back of my fingers brushed against his glorious erection, and I dipped my hand further inside his trousers to free him, only to jerk my hand away and sit back on his knees in incredulity.
"What the fuck happened to your balls, Edward?"
He threw his head back to rest against the top of the seat as he laughed uproariously. "Emmett somehow managed to talk me into getting a wax and 'trim' for tonight's performance." He looked up at me nervously and brought his hands to my hips, flexing his fingers in agitation. "Are you mad?"
"That you have a hairless sac? Or that you almost paraded it in front of half of Seattle?"
"Um …"
I lifted his shirt just enough to get a glimpse of his fuck-hot abs. "Well, the happy trail that I love licking my way down is still intact." His breathing picked up perceptibly, and I let my eyes slide down to his straining erection standing proudly between us. I licked my lips. "And the trim job makes your cock look even more monstrous."
He sat up so fast that a startled gasp escaped my partially open mouth. A fact he took full advantage of as his hands speared into my hair and his lips crashed down on mine, his tongue dominating and leading mine in a tantalizingly seductive tango. His hands glided up from hips, grabbing a fistful of my shirt in each one before the offending material broke us apart as it was ripped over our heads and tossed aside. His nimble fingers made quick work of removing my bra so that his questing digits could knead, massage, and tease at my breasts and nipples as our mouths once again fused together.
My one hand was still down his pants, wrapped around his balls, and I gave them a little squeeze, eliciting a whimper from Edward as he tore his mouth away from mine. I grabbed the back of his head, leaning our foreheads together and slid my other hand upwards and it was wrapped firmly around his engorged shaft and gave that a squeeze as well before looking him in the eye and growling.
"But this belongs to me." I removed my hand and reached under my skirt – thank you, Rose, for making me wear this tonight – and moved my panties to the side, rising up on my knees so that I hovered with my dripping entrance right over his shiny head. "And this cock fucks only me." The last word came out as a strangled cry and that mixed with Edward's grunt of pleasure as I slammed myself down on him, taking him in to the hilt.
His hands reflexively tightened around my boobs for a moment before he released them to slide his fingers down my body and up under my skirt. He grabbed a cheek in each hand, squeezing and pulling, spreading me open even wider for him to go even deeper inside of me. He lowered his head and wrapped his hot mouth around one pebbled nipple, sucking hard and causing me to buck against him, as I began rocking and rolling my hips with his guidance.
My fingernails were digging into his shoulders as he licked a path over to my other breast and tortured that mound with his lips, teeth, and tongue as well. It was too much; I was on sensory overload with his mouth on my tit, his long, thick cock moving inside of me, and his fingertips playing with my tighter hole. Edward knew how much I loved anal play, he was purposely trying to drive me over the edge, and it was working spectacularly. I grabbed his head in both of my hands, ripping it away from my breast and attacking his lips, sucking his tongue into my mouth, as I picked up my tempo and began slamming and bouncing on top of him.
With the fingers of one hand, he began rubbing from where we were joined, up the crack of my ass, and back again, spreading my wetness. His other hand found its way to my front, where he started pinching and flicking at my clit. The triple sensation, plus the added stimulation of his tongue fucking my mouth, had me tearing my lips from his and burying my head in his shoulder as I whimpered, whined, and moaned with the most exquisite pleasure I had ever felt. I was panting with my exertions, and needed to come so badly that I could feel it crawling over my skin and vibrating throughout my entire body.
"That's it, baby, take what's yours," Edward murmured in my ear just before he slid first one, and then a second finger into my now well-lubed ass and applying even greater pressure on my swollen and throbbing clit.
I let go with a scream as he pinched and tugged on my clit for the final time. I was bouncing frantically, fucking both Edward's cock and his hands, as I convulsed through first one and then a second soul-shattering orgasm. I was sobbing in delight, slowing my movements, and coming back down to earth when I felt him slide his fingers out of my anus, and both of his hands clutch my hips, holding me down on him as he erratically bucked his hips up into me, seeking his own release. The friction of his pubic bone on my sensitive bundle of nerves added to the feeling of Edward's powerful thrusts to send me sky rocketing a third time as I joined him in release.
He was still twitching and emptying himself inside of me as I collapsed against Edward's chest in languorous contentment. When he was done riding out his orgasm, he fell back against the seat, wrapped his arms around my back, and slumped over so that we were laying on our sides facing each other. It wasn't the most comfortable position – the backseat wasn't that large – but I had no desire to move anytime soon as I basked in the warmth of my husband's embrace.
I had closed my eyes as we snuggled, and was just about to allow sleep to overtake me, when I felt the sweetest chaste kiss glance over my lips. I opened my eyes to be pinned by Edward's sleepy green ones.
"Did you have a happy birthday, baby?" He was whispering, but somehow that felt appropriate for the moment.
I smiled and reached up to brush an errant hair off his forehead, then left my hand to linger and rest against his cheek. I leaned forward and brushed my lips lightly across his, then I leaned back and whispered, "It was the most wonderful day ever … Daddy."
I waited with bated breath for him to work out what I had just said. A brilliantly blinding smile split his face as understanding and excitement lit his eyes.
"Really?"
I giggled and nodded. "Yup! I just found out this morning."
My laughter turned into a gasp, and then a moan as he rolled us so that I was on my back and swiftly, but gently, entered me again. We ended up spending most of the night in that parking lot celebrating my birth and the fulfillment of last year's birthday wish: for Edward to finally knock me up!
A/N:
So I hoped you liked this little slice of lemon cake. This O/S will not now, nor ever be expanded. It was written expressly for the Squeeze My Lemon project & those Dirty Cheeky Monkeys! LOL =P
DCM A/N: What a way to celebrate your birthday *finds list to sign up for birthday gift* Make sure to leave Artemis Leaena some love.
Next week we have a returning squeezer, IamTheAlleyCat, who just wanted more time to give us more squeezing. ;)
If you are interesting in writing for us or you have an author that you want us to beg, drop us a line, dirty cheeky monkeys at yahoo dot com