Daring to Dream

Chapter Sixteen

A Mother's Love

Peridan stared at Menelay for a full minute before he managed to choke out.

"I am sorry, my lady, could you repeat what you just said?"

The Tarkheena observed the Narnian lord for a long moment. "I said that their daughter was named Karna, my lord. She was named after the lady Hezayla's mother. She was a pretty servant girl seduced by the son of her lord and promises of marriage. A story that is all too often seen, I am afraid."

Menelay regarded her companion shrewdly. He nodded but seemed deeply in thought. It was obvious that something in her story was familiar to him. But what, she could not imagine.

He eventually spoke.

"How old would this child be now?"

"Eighteen. She was born the same year as my eldest son."

He nodded again. His expression distracted.

"Eighteen … do you know anything of your old friend, my lady?"

"Nothing, my lord. Hezayla disappeared from society immediately after the news of her husband's death was told. I do not know what happened to her, or her daughter. I always thought that she must have remarried."

"She did."

Menelay gasped. "You have heard of Tarkheena Hezayla, my lord Peridan?"

He sighed. "Not that name specifically. But I have met a servant girl called Karna whose mother is called Hezal."

The Tarkheena stared at him.

Peridan grew embarrassed. "Forgive the ambiguity of my words, my lady. But what I have to relate is a delicate matter. There are lives at risk if I am too candid. Have I your word that you are a true friend of the Tarkheena Hezayla and her daughter?"

"Your have to ask, my lord?" came the indignant reply. "I can assure you that I would do everything within my power to help my friend, or her daughter."

Despite her obvious outrage at the question, Peridan felt justified.

"I apologise, but I had to be certain." He drew a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. "I am acquainted with Miss Karna. I first met her because she is a servant in Master Tirshan's household. She was part of a dancing display that he put on to welcome us to Tashbaan and I chose to sit beside her at the meal that followed. I was instantly intrigued. She is a fascinating girl and has a voracious curiosity about the world. She was so … different to what I expected from a Calormene servant girl."

It was only as he spoke of it that Peridan realised how long ago that now felt, though it had only been a month or five weeks at most.

"The others girls I have met have been so afraid and subservient, but Karna was so interested in places she had not seen. She reminded me of a friend from home. About a week passed and I was walking to a meal with Lord Marken when I chanced to meet Karna in the street."

He paused, the memory returning vividly. "She was so changed. All vibrant curiosity was extinguished and she seemed so dull and lifeless. She said that she was to be married most advantageously to a blacksmith and I was struck by how little emotion she showed."

"A blacksmith? Whom did Hezayla marry?" Menelay spoke quietly, the reality sinking in. What had become of her old friend?

Peridan sighed. "Karna has told me that her grandfather forced her mother to marry the first man he met on the street. I understand he is a carver named Tarneesh."

"A carver … but why would her father lower himself to such a connection?"

"I believe that her mother refused to give Karna up and so the Tarkhaan married her off in revenge for her disobedience."

Menelay closed her eyes in pain. "Oh Hezayla. What a choice to face! If I know my friend, she would have borne her father's will and submitted to the marriage without complaint. I never knew a mother more in love with her child than she with her daughter. They both worshipped Karna."

Peridan nodded. "It sounds as though she has faced much hardship. But Karna and her two sisters have grown up to be kind, intelligent girls. I understand there are also two sons."

A slight smile touched the Tarkheena's lips for a moment. "Five children. Hezayla would have loved that. She always wanted a large family."

"I have never met the mother, but her daughters are a credit to her."

"Why were you so concerned, my lord? What did you fear by letting me know of my friend's existence?"

He frowned. "I did not hear of Karna for a week after our meeting in the street. The next thing I knew of her was when I overheard her sister Tarlana crying in our house one morning. She mentioned Karna being in great trouble and I could not stop myself from asking what had happened. She had been unhappy with her betrothal from the start and publicly disgraced the man by rejecting him in front of the local elders and her stepfather. Her stepfather was enraged and beat Karna badly because she has so publicly humiliated him. She managed to make it to her sister Karlis' house with severe bruising and a broken arm."

He took a sip of wine and frowned deeply. "I agreed to help and brought our physician Master Timeon with me to heal Karna. It was a risk, because if her stepfather finds out that she survived he will be sure to seek her out and kill her for so publicly mortifying his honour. Timeon was able to reset her bone and patch her up, praise Aslan. But she is now living in hiding with her younger sister and in fear of her life if she even steps outside the door. To make matters worse, Mistress Hezal has become gravely ill and it seems likely that she will die of the consumption. Karna is understandably desperate to see her mother, but to go anywhere near Tarneesh's house would mean death."

Menelay stared at him for a long time. Her food had long since gone cold and she seemed rooted to the spot as she took in all he had said. Peridan watched her anxiously. He had no idea how she would respond to his story, though he felt sure of her support for Karna's plight.

When she did speak, her face had drained of colour. "It is vital she is never seen by her step father, my lord. I can understand why she acted as she did, but to so publicly declare her distaste for the man her stepfather has chosen and in front of the elders … that is a true humiliation in Calormene society."

Peridan nodded. "This was explained to me. It is why I was so hesitant about sharing her whereabouts with you."

"I understand, my lord, truly. Karna is in a dangerous position."

"I am very concerned about her. She cannot remain at her brother-in-law's house indefinitely. There is great fear for her future. She will be unable to work in Tashbaan without having to give reference to her previous work and there is little opportunity of income for an unmarried young woman who has left her previous employment."

"I might be able to help, my lord. Do you think Karna would be willing to come and work in my house? My husband and I have a palace on the Northern Plains. She could come to work for us there without fear of discovery and start a new life. She can only do that through leaving Tashbaan."

Peridan's heart leapt. "You would be willing to help her, my lady?"

"Of course, my lord. I would do anything in my power to help the daughter of my oldest friend."

Peridan would have bowed to her if they had not been sitting. "My lady, you have eased my heart greatly. Thank you, so very much."

Menelay smiled for the first time. "I am pleased I can help. But we must have more a more private conversation, my lord Peridan. This is hardly the safest location to discuss such delicate matters."

He chanced a look around the feasting hall and though none were listening in, their neighbours' proximity was a cause for concern.

He nodded. "I agree. May I invite you for lunch tomorrow, my lady Tarkheena?"

She smiled. "I should be delighted, my Lord Peridan."

He returned to his food, his heart feeling lighter than it had in days. Silently, he sent a prayer of thanks of Aslan. Maybe Karna's troubles would finally be over.

Karna's existence seemed to be a mixture of two emotions at the moment – tedium and worry. Her days were spent in Ahoz and Karlis' inner room, waiting for her arm to fully heal with little to do while she worried about their mother. She could not even use her hands to distract herself with sewing, cookery or something useful because of her arm. So she took to entertaining Karlis as best she could while her sister went about her everyday tasks.

Karlis would cook, clean and mend, whilst switching between exasperation and amusement at her older sister's antics. She could certainly empathise with Karna's boredom, but there was little she could do to alleviate it, and she was also dreadfully worried about their mother.

She had been somewhat reassured by her condition during her last visit, but Tarlana had also shown her the blood soaked cloth that Hezal had coughed into. None of them wished to face the reality of what certainly lay ahead. So their days were spent living for the moment, not looking beyond.

"I wonder how the girls are at Master Tirshan's?" Karna mused one afternoon as Karlis scrubbed the floor. "Do you think they are still awkward around the Narnians?"

Karlis smiled. "I would imagine so. I am still taken aback when Master Timeon visits. He is so different to the Tarkhaans and Tarkheenas."

"In appearance and manner," Karna agreed. "What do you think of Master Timeon's manner of address? I find it so refreshing compared to the Calormene style."

"You mean the fact that he gets to the point rather than quoting poetry and being mysterious?" Karlis queried.

"Yes. I wish that we could greet our neighbours with a simple, "good day" rather than having to quote and say "has the poet not said" or "is it not quoted in verse that". Master Timeon simply enquires after our health with perfect curtesy and then gets to the point."

Her sister laughed. "Yes, but is it not more impressive when such a manner of speech is used?"

"I think there is a difference between mystery and tedium."

Karlis laughed heartily. "I can see the truth in that. It does seem that the nobility is far worse at doing it than we common folk."

"Well they have more time to waste."

Both sisters laughed at the quirks of their culture.

"It seems that you are very taken with the Narnians, Karna," Karlis suggested with a smile.

Karna sighed, not missing the implication. "I cannot deny it, Karlis. I find their lack of affectation so refreshing. Do you not recall how long I spoke about my conversation with Lord Peridan? Think of what they have done for us in our brief acquaintance. He brought his physician to heal me, has done everything within his power to help mother and has even offered his help with sorting my future. They are a noble people and it cannot be denied."

"That is true. But have you not considered that Lord Peridan might have an ulterior motive?"

"What do you mean?"

Karlis toyed with her brush for a moment to avoid looking at her sister. "Maybe he would not have been so quick to offer help if … if it had been for another person."

Karna blinked, confused. "What?"

"Karna, think of what he has done. Not only has Lord Peridan risked offending their hosts by coming to heal you, but he came instantly to speak to you when he heard about Mother's illness."

"He did that to ensure I would not be hurt or act rashly."

"Exactly. You were his inducement for immediate action. He could have sent Master Timeon to give advice, but he came himself."

"Are you accusing him of disinterest towards Mother?"

"No, I am saying that helping Mother, though important, was not his primary motivation." Karlis huffed with exasperation at her sister's slowness. "I am saying you were the inducement, Karna. He came to see and help you!"

Karna stared as Karlis' idea sunk in. "You cannot mean … Karlis you cannot think that Lord Peridan has come to care for me in that way?"

"What other reason is there for his attentions?"

"He is fulfilling his knightly duty."

"That does not explain the lengths he has gone to, Karna. You know it."

"I do not know it. I don't agree Karlis, he could not care for me in that way. It cannot happen."

"Why should it not?"

"Because he is a Lord! I am a mere servant girl. We are from two such different cultures! There is no way that we could ever marry."

"But why could you not, my sister? If he loved you …"

"Love? Karlis, please be rational and face reality. You and Ahoz are so blessed to have what you do. I have never seen love in a marriage, except yours. There is no chance that a noble, honourable man such as Lord Peridan could care for so lowly a maiden as I."

"Why not, Karna? Why do you sell yourself so short?"

"I do not, I just know real life."

Karna sighed.

"I have not given up dreaming Karlis, but I have a better understanding of what real life holds now. You have found love, but it came through an arranged marriage. When have you ever heard of a woman choosing her own husband?"

"But things are different in Narnia …"

"Are they? Do you not see Queen Susan of Narnia visiting Tashbaan at this very moment, for the purpose of having an arranged marriage? We dream of such things in girlhood, Karlis, but they almost never come true."

Karlis did not reply but attacked a muddy streak with slightly more vehemence than was probably necessary. She did not think her interpretation of events was so wrong. But then, Karna had faced such hardship that maybe it would always affect the way she saw things.

The afternoon passed in its usual steady plod and she was just looking for Ahoz's return from work when the door slammed open. Neither sister had reacted before Tarlana started to speak. Her face was streaked with tears.

"It's Mother ..."

Karlis gasped. Karna screamed.

"No!"

Tarlana wiped her eyes and nodded. "She took a bad spell and has been coughing horribly. She can't breathe. I don't think she has long. I left Tamara with her …"

Karna was on her feet in a moment.

Karlis jumped in front of her. "Where are you going?"

Karna's face was deathly pale, but her eyes were hard. "To see my mother."

Tarlana joined Karlis. "Karna, you can't!"

"You might be seen by Father …"

"Why should I care?" Karna exclaimed, starting to cry. "What purpose does my life have if I cannot say good bye to the one person who gave up her life for me? My sisters, I have three people I love in the world and I can hug and kiss both of you. But I must say good bye to her." She choked on her tears. "I can't … I can't not say good bye. I have … I have … to hold her, to tell her I love her."

Karlis was crying now. "But Karna. If you are killed, Mother will never forgive herself, it will kill her."

"It will kill me to not say good bye," Karna whispered, suddenly calm. She knew what mattered to her the most and was going to see it through.

She embraced both her sisters and, gently pushing them aside, left the home.

Tarlana was after her in an instant, Karlis close behind. But sudden fear of recognition stopped them from calling after her. In a quick conference, Tarlana followed and Karlis took off at a sprint. She had mentioned running for Ahoz, but she thought that she knew the one person who could get Karna to see sense.

Adrenalin helped Tarlana to keep pace with Karna as her sister strode through the back streets. With her longer legs, she would normally have left her far behind. They moved swiftly but cautiously as they passed known associates and acquaintances of their father.

"You should not be with me, Tarlana," Karna muttered as they passed beneath an archway. She drew her shawl up over her head, seeking to hide her face. "I do not wish you to be hurt."

"Karna I beg you, return with me now before it is too late," Tarlana pleaded. She jumped to the side as a vegetable cart rattled went past. "You can still come back with me."

Karna passed quickly on, heedless of her sister's words.

Tarlana glanced around, realising that they were mere streets from their family home. "Karna. Please my sister. You know Father will be returning any time now from his day's work."

"Then stand watch, Tarlana. You can observe and give us warning when he is returning." Karna's eyes were suddenly bright at this suggestion. "Please, my sister. I just want to say good bye. Can you not understand that?"

Tarlana felt herself crying, "Of course I can Karna. But at the sake of your life?"

"I do not think I will have a life when she is gone." Karna's voice was so quiet that Tarlana nearly missed it.

Forcing her horror aside, she made herself to act. "Very well, but you must leave as soon as I come."

Karna kissed her sister's cheek quickly. "I promise, true delight of my eyes. I love you."

Tarlana started to weep freely. "I love you too, my sister. More than I can express."

The sisters shared a quick embrace before hurriedly separating.

As soon as Tarlana had spoken, Karna had known her course of action. She had no choice. This was Mother.

She moved as quickly as she could without making herself conspicuous, though it was difficult with her arm swinging in its sling. She passed beneath an awning and recognised the main street that was parallel to their home's. It was busy with traffic and Karna was able to pass quickly through the amassing crowds, her eyes fixed upon the passageway that would lead to their front door.

Carefully, she ducked past the familiar well and drew her shawl close about her face as she approached the door. She saw Maralis' door open and three of the children playing in the street. Not daring to make eye contact, she dived for the door and flung it open, slamming it behind her.

Tamara jumped and hastened to the doorway. She gasped when she saw Karna's familiar form, a thousand questions coming to her tongue. Karna merely nodded before ducking around her and kneeling by her mother's mattress.

It was as bad as she had feared.

Hezal was soaked in sweat. Her face was pale and there was a bowl near her head, filled with water. Several bloodied rags littered the floor. Tarlana had been right. She was close to death.

Gently, Karna took her hand. It felt as frail as a bird's wing.

"Mother." She ran a soft hand through her hair.

Hezal stirred.

"Tarlana?" Her eyes opened a fraction. Recognition dawned and she jerked up in concern. "Karna, my child, what are you doing here? Your step father …"

"I had to see you," Karna stated, her voice choked with tears. "Mother …"

"Peace my daughter." Hezal raised a frail hand to touch her cheek. "Be at peace, oh delight of my eyes."

Karna could only sob and kiss Hezal's cheek. Her mother touched her forehead lightly with her lips and smiled. "All will be well, my Karna."

"Mother, how?" she exclaimed. "I love you … I can't let you go …"

"It is Tash's will, my child. Who are we to question the will of the inexorable, the irresistible one?"

"But … I love you …"

"And I love you. I will be pleased to see your dear father."

Karna could do nothing but sob, burying her face in her mother's blanket. She felt Hezal stroking her hair.

"Karna, you must listen to me." Her daughter raised a tear-stained face. "My love, you must go. Leave Tashbaan."

She started. "Leave my home?"

Hezal nodded. "My child, you no longer belong in Calormen. I have heard you and your sisters speak of this Narnian lord … you must go with him. Go to Narnia and dare to fulfil your dreams, my daughter. Find the happiness you seek … the happiness I could not give you here."

Karna felt the tears falling anew. "Don't speak of such things, Mother. You and my sisters have been my one source of happiness. Who would I be without you? I can't live in a world where you aren't alive."

Her mother was suddenly firm. "Yes you will and you must. Karna, hearken to me. You have always had a curiosity, a fire in you that could not be quenched. Even when faced with the prospect of an unwanted marriage and all its certainty, you stood up to your stepfather and stood by your dreams. You have to go on and live. Promise me that you will live the life that you have dreamed of. If you do … my dreams and hope for you will have been fulfilled."

Karna choked on her tears and desperately clasped her mother's hand, as though holding on for life.

Eventually she found her voice.

"I promise …"

The words had just left her mouth when the door slammed into the wall and Tarlana cried, "Karna you must go now, he is coming!"

Unable to speak, Karna kissed her mother's cheek and stared at her face for a moment, fixing it firmly in her mind.

"I love you," she whispered, before running for her life.

Author's note:

I know, I know! Hate me all you like but the next chapter is already half written and the good news is that I break up on Wednesday (23rd) so I plan to update hopefully within a week.

Well, what do you guys think of all the drama? I've given both Karna and Peridan a reality check about their feelings now to show where they both are. It's just so new for them both that they are slow on the uptake in that department.

I am sorry to kill off Hezal, she's been a lovely character to write – but I'm afraid she was doomed from the beginning. Her input is kind of vital for a later decision of Karna's … wait and see!

What do we think? I'd love some feedback about the pacing. I included a Karna/Karlis funny conversation because this chapter was a little intense without it!

But what will happen next? I think we might see a knight in shining armour come riding in .

Thank you for all the views, reviews and updates, they mean the world and really do motivate me to get the next up quicker. But I am in the groove now and managed to get this out in two weeks so the end though not that close is getting closer.

Thank you for joining me on this crazy journey with Karna, it's about to get even more dramatic!

Breeze.