Daring to Dream
Chapter Seventeen
The Price of Dreaming
Karlis ran.
The lower streets of Tashbaan passed in a flurry of dust and bustle as she wove her way swiftly through the crowds. She had one destination in mind and focussed solely upon reaching it. Any other concerns were pushed aside in the pursuit of her goal.
Sooner than she would have thought possible, she entered the cobbled streets of the merchant's quarter. The wider lane was filled with the stalls of cloth and leather traders.
Karlis ducked aside for a cart and pushed her way through the crowds as quickly as she could. She was just passing beneath the archway at the start of the noble quarter when she heard the usual cries of the guides. The nearest was declaring the passing of some military commander.
Carefully, she slipped between a man guiding a mule and a woman carrying a basket of dates, when another voice reached her ears.
"Way! Way for the barbarians of the North! Way for the Narnian lords!"
Karlis found herself pressed to the side of the street as the group passed.
The Calormen guide led the way but was markedly different to his companions, with his dark turban and oiled beard. He even moved in a different manner, with more caution and care.
Karlis marvelled at the ease with which the Narnians moved. They looked about themselves with curiosity and interest, smiling openly. Two men near the back seemed to be sharing a joke and one threw back his head and laughed with such open abandon that Karlis almost found herself wanting to smile with him.
They were soon past and she had not seen a face that she recognised.
Not allowing herself to stop and consider what she did, Karlis plunged on through the crowd, heading straight for Master Tirshan's house.
It felt odd as she approached the familiar entrance and slipped through. But instead of heading right as she had done so many times before, she now headed left to the guest wing.
Fear slowed her feet as she headed towards the rooms and uncertainty gripped her mind. She had been so focussed on her journey here that she now stopped to think.
Where would she even find Lord Peridan?
It was one thing to speak openly with a stranger in your own home. It was quite another to step boldly up to their very door and demand to speak to them.
Karlis dithered in the dark corridor for a full minute, willing herself to continue. She might have remained there for much longer had it not been for a familiar voice calling her name.
"Karlis?"
The young woman jumped as she turned to find Lamarla approaching her. Fear was replaced with relief.
"What are you doing here? Isn't your mother ill?"
Karlis forced herself to speak. "She is, she's dying. But Lamarla, I need your help. Do you know where Lord Peridan is?"
"Who?"
"The Narnian lord. He's was the head of the earlier delegation and sat with Karna during the feast."
"The one who is slightly taller than the others, with hair the colour of sand?"
Karlis nodded in relief. "Yes. A party of Narnians passed me in the street but he was not among them."
"He must be in their private parlour with the queen. Come."
Lamarla ushered her friend along, not stopping to question why she wished to speak with a visiting lord. Karlis followed quickly behind her and all too soon, they were standing before a door of the first floor.
Lamarla turned to go, "Do it quickly," she advised. "You must not be caught."
Karlis nodded and knocked twice before she could hesitate. The door was opened by a small man, about half the size of a human, with a long brown beard.
"Yes?" he enquired.
She forced herself to speak. "May I please speak to Lord Peridan?"
The small man blinked in surprise and nodded. "Please wait here," he said.
He disappeared for about thirty seconds, though the time felt like a full day to Karlis as she waited.
The door was suddenly opened then and Peridan stood before her. His expression was wild with curiousity.
"Karlis?" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Please, come in."
He ushered the young woman in and she instantly poured out her story.
"I am sorry for coming, my lord. But I had to! Our mother is dying and Karna was desperate to see her. Tarlana came to my home and told us. Karna became distraught and would not be consoled. She kissed us both and hurried off to say her farewells. My lord Peridan, she's there at this very moment and if my father returns …"
"By the mane …" he clasped a hand to his mouth. "If your father sees her..."
"Yes, my lord, if my father sees her, he will kill her. If he knows that she still lives he will not stop until he has avenged his public humiliation."
The Narnian lord nodded. "We must leave immediately. If we can reach her in time …"
"Peridan, what is it? Who is going to be killed?"
Karlis spun and felt her insides contract. Seated upon chairs not fifteen feet from her, were the Narnian king and queen, among others. The golden haired king was speaking and had risen from his seat. The queen too was sitting forward, her lovely face concerned.
Karlis bowed deeply and prostrated herself upon the floor. "Please forgive me, my lord," she began. "I have no right to stand in the presence of such …"
"Please, Miss," the queen rose and actually knelt beside her. She raised her to kneeling with a gently touch on her arm. "Never prostrate yourself before us in such a manner. You are Peridan's friend and are welcome in our rooms."
The young woman gaped at the beautiful queen. It was incomprehensible to her that this exquisite, graceful woman of royal blood should kneel beside a dusty peasant girl, dressed in her silk gown and smelling as though she had bathed in roses.
The king was quick to add his assurances. "The queen is right. Please, Miss, seat yourself and take refreshment. You look exhausted by the sun. Broggin, of your courtesy, would you fetch our visitor a drink?"
The smaller man bowed and moved toward a refreshment table as Karlis was led towards the sofa by the queen. She was not allowed to speak until she had drained a glass of iced sherbet.
She didn't have words to describe that drink. It both cooled and quenched her parched throat, allowing her to calm her nerves and collect her rattled senses.
They all waited for her to finish before Peridan spoke. "Queen Susan, King Edmund, may I introduce Mistress Karlis of Tashbaan to you. She is the younger sister of the young lady I sat next to at our welcome banquet, Miss Karna."
They both inclined their heads. King Edmund's expression held something more, a deeper comprehension than his sister. He drew a greater significance from her presence than the queen.
"I beg your majesties' pardon for invading your private rooms. I would not have done so under any circumstances less serious," Karlis' voice shook slightly but was resolute.
They both nodded.
The king spoke. "Lord Peridan has told us of your sister's situation, Mistress Karlis. We completely understand the urgency."
"We are so very sorry to hear about your mother," the queen interjected.
Karlis nodded and bowed her head as tears threatened.
Peridan rose. "If Mistress Karlis is feeling recovered, we must leave immediately."
Karlis snapped back to reality and felt her heart lurch as she remembered Karna's predicament. "Yes." She bowed to the king and queen. "I thank you most sincerely for your hospitality and welcome, your majesties," she said. "It has been an honour to meet you."
After a hasty farewell, she and Peridan left the home quickly and were soon hurrying through the streets. Neither knew whether they would be in time.
From his boyhood, Tarneesh had known and understood his place in life. He had learnt his trade from his father, as his father had learnt it from his. He in his turn had taught his two sons the art of carpentry and had imparted the necessary wisdom about what to expect from life. It was a pattern that he knew and understood.
But when he had returned one day to find his wife gravely ill, it had shaken him more than he had expected.
He had never loved his wife. He'd never expected to.
However, after having lived with the same woman for over half his life, even he could not deny the connection and comfortable sense of companionship they had shared. He knew that he would miss her if she died and this in itself was surprising to the apathetic carpenter.
Tarneesh was not given to great thought, but even he had considered his marriage with pleasure upon occasion. Hezal and he had been a suitable partnership from the beginning. He knew that he would miss her calm and steadying presence in his home.
It was for this reason that he allowed Tarlana to remain home from work and nurse her ill mother. Yet even he had been forced to concede the hopelessness of the situation that morning.
He had left for work, knowing that his wife might not be alive when he returned. But mouths needed feeding and without the selling of that week's carvings, they could never hope to pay for a funeral.
Andur and Kanzeesh had followed their father as usual, but without their usual squabbling. They had been silent and morose throughout the market, taking money for carvings without comment. They had not even badgered him for a few coins for ale, as was their usual habit after a successful day of selling.
The three men made their way home with the silence they had maintained all day. It was only once they had left the market that Kanzeesh spoke up.
"Father?"
Tarneesh turned. "Yes, my son?"
"Do you suppose we will find our mother living when we return?"
Tarneesh sighed and continued his walk. "My son. As the poet has said, the sun rises and falls and we rise and fall with it. I do not know if we will find your mother living. But remember also as another has said, that as the sun rises and falls, so also does the need for food never wain, nor can work ever cease. You will one day face such another day when you have a wife and you must remember to keep working that day as we have done this day. In the name of Tash (may He be praised) so passes the way of the world."
His eldest son nodded and they continued in their walk until they came to the end of their alley. Tarneesh was just turning when he spotted a figure emerging from his home.
He watched the figure carefully for a full half minute before the truth dawned. Tall, thin and definitely female, she had chanced one glance in their direction before running in the opposite direction.
All thought of his dying wife was lost in a minute as blinding rage filled Tarneesh's mind.
"You!" he bellowed.
He dropped his bundle of carvings and was off in a minute, heedless of his astonished sons left far behind as he chased after her. The bastard he had raised and fed for sixteen years. The wretched creature who had publicly humiliated him, not just in front of his family and neighbours, but actually in front of the elders.
He had thought she was dead. He had been sure than none could survive after the beating he had given her that night. But somehow, she had.
Tarneesh didn't think of anything but revenge as he ran through the streets, desperately trying to keep up with the retreating figure. He knew that she was wearing a faded red dress and had noticed that she had pulled a brown shawl over her head when she fled.
He tracked her along three streets until the crowd began to thicken.
Furiously, he pushed past carts, stall holders, mules, street urchins, men and women alike in his pursuit of his prey. The figure was ducking and bobbing around the crowd with desperation as she tried to keep away from him.
They passed through two more streets and were half way across the fish market before Tarneesh got caught up in a passing stream of humanity. Pushed and pulled from multiple sides, he had to take his eyes off her for a few moments to elbow his way through a passing herd of sheep. After exchanging a few well-chosen phrases with the shepherd, he looked up and saw a sea of brown coats and shawls heading in every direction.
Tarneesh yelled in frustration and smashed a carving to the ground.
In his rage, he roared across the square.
"If I ever see you again I will kill you bastard!"
A few passers-by stared at the carpenter but quickly passed on. One furious glance from Tarneesh was enough to show any that this was not a man to quarrel with.
Down an alley on the opposite side of the square, sheltered by a tall refuse pile, a single Calormen maid drew her brown shawl over her face and sobbed from terror and relief.
Somehow, she had survived.
Darkness had fallen by the time she dared to move. She had sat, slumped and silent behind the refuse pile for a long time, listening to the heavy thumping of her heart. Her mind was awhirl after the events of that day.
Had she really been sitting, bored but content with Karlis that very morning?
Now, she had run away from her only safe haven, said good bye to her mother forever and run for her life.
Where could she go?
Karna had pondered this question for hours. Thought after thought had chased each other through her mind, each more hopeless than the last.
Return to Karlis and Ahoz's home?
Not safe now that Tarnessh knew she was alive.
Try to find another job?
No-one would give her work without a reference and wanting to know far too much about her family history.
Leave Tashbaan?
And go where? Where did she have to go? Who did she know outside of this city?
No-one.
The truth was that Tashbaan was the only home she had ever known. Certainly, she could dream to far off green lands and their magical deities … but what did she know of them? What would she ever know?
Unwanted, her mother's words filled her head:
"Go to Narnia and dare to fulfil your dreams, my daughter. Find the happiness you seek … the happiness I could not give you here."
Go to Narnia?
Karna scoffed and pushed the idea aside as she wrapped her shawl more tightly around her.
What had her dreams ever got her but heart break and pain? Yes, she had dreamed of going to the mythical land of Narnia, but when did dreams ever come true? Had her dreams been able to save Mother?
Slowly, tears started to fall down her cheeks and she didn't bother to wipe them away.
What was the point? Why had she run from Tarneesh? Why hadn't she let him kill her? It would have all been so much simpler if she had.
Eventually, Karna let the exhaustion take her and fell into an exhausted sleep.
It was dark.
Above her the sky was prickly with stars, but they were sometimes blocked by a branch as she made her was forwards.
At least, she assumed they were branches. She was passing tree after tree as she moved onwards through this place.
Though she had never seen one, Karna thought this might be a forest.
Her mother had once told a story about a creature that lived in a forest called a dryad.
Hezal had described how there were thousands of trees, all different types, shapes and sizes. Sometimes they had grown so close together that the sky could hardly be seen. Within each, there had dwelt these spirits. The heart of the forest she had called them.
Karna wasn't sure why, but she kept moving onwards. She passed the silvery branches of one and was just reaching out to touch a silken leaf when she first heard it.
Clear, merry and bright. The sound of a bird's morning call, welcoming the coming of a new day. She noticed the paling of the night as the first grey light of dawn started to filter through the canopy.
Again the bird's high whistle reached her ears and she turned to follow the sound. Eventually she found the bird. A small, dark creature with a glossy plumage and small, jewel-bright eyes. It sat on a lower branch and sang merrily.
She didn't know how long she stood and listened. But it seemed to be much lighter when she eventually turned at the sound of a snapping branch.
A gasp escaped from her mouth.
He was standing thirty feet away. Tall, powerful and beautiful.
A lion.
No, the lion.
Even in the pale light, his fur shone as though lit by the sun. He was more breath-taking and terrifying than she could express.
Soundlessly he made his way across the clearing towards her. His tread was sure and he never blinked, his gaze locked with her.
Karna's heart beat painfully against her chest.
He stopped ten feet away and sat down. Simply watching her.
"Are you he, sir?" her voice was a thread of sound.
"I am."
"You are the one they worship?"
He nodded.
"Sir …" She hesitated.
"Speak, child."
"Why do I not know you?"
"But you do, Karna, my daughter."
"How do I know you?"
"You have been seeking me all your life. Though you did not know it."
"Are you … are you Aslan?"
"I am."
She heard the blackbird once more and remembered where she was. "Do you know why I dream of this place, sir?"
He nodded. "It is your heart's desire, my daughter."
"Where are we?"
"This is Narnia."
Karna felt her heart thrill strangely. "Narnia?"
"Indeed."
"Please?"
"Ask, my child."
"Why am I here? Why am I dreaming of you and this place? I know I will never come here."
"How do you know, child?"
"Sir, my dreams of this place, of you, have brought me nothing. My mother …" Her voice broke and she felt herself falling to her knees.
Tears fell freely down her cheeks. She buried her head in her hands and wept. She did not know for how long but she felt something rough gently nudge her hands. She looked up and saw that the lion had nudged her hands apart. He licked her tears away with a soft tongue and breathed into her face.
It was not the rancid breath one might expect from a lion, but sweet. Instantly. Karna felt her breathing calm and stood to look him full in the face. His eyes were sad and yet, also filled with love.
Karna's eyes widened as she grasped the truth of that look. Love for her.
"Take heart my daughter, you will find the joy that you seek. But also know that the path to joy will be wracked with great sorrow."
As he said the words, Karna felt as though she had heard them before … and then she knew.
"You spoke to me in the garden," she stated. "You were warning me of this … you knew my mother was going to die … but why? How could you allow this to happen if you love us?"
The lion did not speak, nor did the sadness in his expression change.
"My daughter, I cannot change what has happened, but I can give you a hope."
She stared.
"You will see her again, and you will find the joy you seek, though it seems far off. Please, trust in me."
He breathed upon her once more and she felt her heart lighten. If he said that she would see her mother again, then she would.
"But where can I go? I haven't got a home anymore."
He simply looked at her before the words once more filled her mind, "Trust in me."
Karna jerked awake. She was sitting on the floor of a dirty alley next to the fish market, hidden from view by a rubbish pile. Her arm throbbed and she didn't doubt that she smelt awful.
She stood carefully and at once knew what she had to do. She would go to the only friends she had left.
She would go to the Narnians.
Author's note:
Apologies for the delayed update. I had my first case of writer's block but I managed to get back into my grove and remember my characters. I am sure a few of you will need to re-read to remind yourselves what happened last and I apologise.
This chapter was far harder to write than I expected – all because of Tarneesh! One thing I have tried to do all the way through is give a balanced portrayal of the Calormene characters and explain why they feel justified in acting as they do. Tarneesh's rage was very hard to write and took major redrafts to complete!
I've also learnt that from being terrified of writing her, I now rather like writing Susan! Anyway, on to the next stage – Karna is finally joining the Narnians! (Or is she ..?)
Thank you so much for your patience. I am now back at work so fortnightly/three week updates should be expected.
Please read and review, your comments really motivate me!
Thank you to meldahlie, Kigharrah and anyabar for reviewing, you guys are amazing and they mean so much!
Thanks again,
Breeze.