Daring to Dream

Chapter Twenty

What Lies Ahead

Master Sallowpad of Narnia had never really cared for buildings.

Cair Paravel had been constructed in such a way that the talking birds were able to enter and exit through several cleverly devised roof entrances. In a similar way there were a few roosts built into the castle to enable them to live in relative comfort.

The architect of Master Tirshan's house had not made such considerations in its construction.

In order to let Sallowpad exit the building with some independence, the delegation had taken to leaving doors and windows open throughout the house. The many servants had protested greatly at first, concerned about the queen's privacy. But once the reason had been explained, they had relented and now tolerated the behaviour as one of their guests' many "eccentricities".

Sallowpad was personally of the opinion that the Calormene people considered the Narnians very 'outlandish' or even 'barbaric' (as he had heard them referred to behind a gloved hand). Even the politest seemed to have little tact when referring to the delegation's diverse population. They were freely referred to as the 'barbarian lords', as though this was some sort of compliment.

With an indignant ruffle of his feathers, Sallowpad pushed the thought aside and determined to think of other things. He had known that the Calormene people would react with distrust to himself and the other talking beasts, and they were used to such a reaction when visiting foreign lands.

Instead of gazing upon the city, Sallowpad spread his wings and flew to the roof of the building. After finding a suitable perch upon the roof, he turner his eyes from Tashbaan to stare out far to the north-east at the desert. It spread before him like a golden sea, as it had long ago in his youth. If he squinted carefully, he was just able to make out the dark shadow which was Mount Pire.

Slowly he retraced the journey he had taken as a young bird, heading straight for Mount Pire and then following the Winding Arrow River all the way through the first the foothills and then the forest of Archenland to Anvard. It seemed a lifetime ago but he could remember the route as though it were yesterday.

Gradually the stars disappeared from the dark expanse of the heavens and gave way to the paler grey of the dawn. If they had been in Narnia, a chorus of birdsong would have welcomed the new day. But in this arid climate, a single bird trilled its sweet melody. Unable to help himself, Sallowpad joined his own cry to the bird's song, adding almost a percussion of croaky cries to its tune.

The talking raven was so immersed in their duet that he missed the pacing figure for a while. Eventually, it was the release of an obviously human sigh that drew him from the song.

He glanced down and saw a silhouette, standing against the backdrop of the city below. Instantly recognising his old friend, the raven spread his wings and flew soundlessly to where the Narnian lord stood, leaning upon the wall.

If Peridan was surprised by the arrival of Sallowpad, he did not show it. He continued to observe the city with a pensive expression. The raven had found a comfortable perch on a nearby branch and observed him closely for a long moment.

"What troubles you, my friend? You seem troubled. Have you had any rest this night?"

Peridan returned the talking bird's gaze with a sombre one of his own. "Negligible, my friend. My mind has been too preoccupied."

"Peridan, you know as well as I that Prince Corin is just as capable at removing himself from scrapes as he is at getting into them. I never met a child more prone to mischief in my life."

"But her grace, the queen, has been distraught over his disappearance."

"He will return, as well you know."

The man nodded and returned his gaze to the city. His expression had not altered.

Sallowpad flew closer and settled himself upon the wall, though it was not such a secure perch. He approached close enough that Peridan was forced to look at him.

"My friend, may I be candid?"

The knight nodded.

"I do not think that you should use the prince's disappearance as an excuse for your current mood. We both know the real reason for your preoccupation and inability to rest."

The man sighed.

The raven waited patiently. He knew that Peridan would eventually speak.

His patience was finally rewarded by Peridan's frustrated exhalation.

"I cannot speak of it, Sallowpad!"

"You can, my friend and you must."

He clutched the wall in aggravation. "I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because what I wish for is wrong. I cannot say it. It isn't right to want it when a solution has been put forward that solves every problem …"

"Why aren't your wishes right?"

"She won't be safe …" Peridan whispered these last words and raised his hands to his face as he finally admitted the truth.

"Miss Karna?" the raven prompted.

His friend nodded.

"You wish for her to come to Narnia with us?"

Again the man nodded.

"Why do you think this desire wrong, Peridan?"

"Don't you see, Sallowpad? She has the chance of a new start here. A new family, a new home and security for life. Her step father will never see her again and she will be able to start over in safety."

"Why would this be better than coming with us?"

"Because we don't know if we will even make it out of this forsaken country alive!" Peridan paused after he spoke, the blood draining from his face.

He was instantly contrite. "I apologise my friend. I should not have used such language in front of you. I did not mean to misspeak about our gentle queen's judgement."

The raven shook his head. "I do not blame you, Peridan. We have all marvelled at her majesty's decision at some point during this visit. But as we have said before, we must trust in her highness' judgement. It is after all, her choice and not our own."

The knight nodded, though he did not look comforted. He started to pace and wrung his hands distractedly.

"I cannot promise her a future that she might not have, Sallowpad. It is logical and wisest to encourage her to leave with Tarkheena Menelay."

The raven let out a sharp cry that made Peridan stop his pacing. "Now you listen to me, my friend and please listen well. I sometimes feel as though I am speaking to a child, not a man of six and twenty!"

Peridan stared at his friend, it was rare for Sallowpad to ever raise his voice above a gentle croak. Earnestly, he listened as the raven continued,

"When I first laid eyes upon Velvetplume I knew within the first couple of minutes that I would never meet another hen like her. She became my mate that day and we have never looked back."

"I have watched human courtship and mating rituals for the past fourteen years and they still confuse me. You see another human who obviously attracts you and you feel drawn to. I have then watched you humans dance around the issue for sometimes months if not even years. From the moment you first saw Miss Karna she intrigued you. Now you have finally realised that you care for her. Where is the confusion in that?"

"You need to tell Miss Karna how you feel and allow her to decide. If you at least make your feelings and wishes known, then she can at least make a decision while fully understanding her position."

Peridan was quiet for a long time after his friend finished speaking.

This was one of the reasons that he trusted the raven so implicitly; he could always be sure of hearing the undiluted truth. Ravens did not flatter, they called a spade a spade and beat you round the head with it, as Lucy would say. Eventually, he forced himself to speak.

"Sallowpad, it is not that simple."

"It is!" the bird exclaimed with an impatient flap of his wings. "Stop wasting time and be honest, my friend."

"But I am not you and Miss Karna is not Velvetplume."

"Do you care for her?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

Peridan swallowed and made himself form the words. "I think I might."

"Then fight for her Peridan! Don't allow yourself to let go of the one woman you might ever love. You've had to come half the way across the world to find her."

The knight nodded, finally he was starting to see. "I will do it," he agreed. "I will tell her how I feel and invite her to come to Narnia. Of course it will be her decision, but at least I can tell her how I feel and let her know my wishes."

The raven nodded, finally satisfied. "That's all you can do, my friend. And do it sooner rather than later. Who know how much longer we will be here?"

Peridan nodded and rose. He inclined his head deeply to Sallowpad. It was a gesture of great respect among the talking birds and was one that the raven returned with equal gravity.

"I cannot thank you enough for your help, old friend," the man stated. "Your wisdom has served me many times before, but something tells me that this might be one of the most important conversations of my life."

Unexpectedly, the raven cackled in amusement. "Then I hope you will follow through and not miss the obvious again, my friend!"

Peridan grinned and took his leave.

Karna had woken early. She had spent the hour before dawn pacing her small chamber, unable to switch off her mind.

Normally, she would have spent the morning with her hands busy, sewing or cleaning or cooking. Even with her broken arm she had been able to help Karlis around the house with the odd spot of scrubbing. As it was, she was trapped in this chamber, always in danger of being seen by one of her old friends among the servant girls.

Yet despite her inaction, she had plenty to ponder as she paced. Yesterday's events buzzed through her mind along with the truth about her parentage and her mother's early life. It had given her real comfort to know that her parents had truly loved each other, but at the same time it made life seem so very unfair.

But then, hadn't she already discussed such things with her sisters and Peridan? She recalled the conversation they had shared just after she had realised her mother was dying. Neither Peridan nor her sisters had had an answer as to why Hezal had died, but they had all been able to accept it in a way that Karna had struggled to.

There was an acceptance in Calormene society, a stoicism that she definitely lacked. It was a tolerance that had enabled her mother to marry Tarneesh, that had let Tarlana accept her lot in life without complaint.

The truth was that her sister faced a future of drudgery as her mother's replacement until Kanzeesh took a bride. Even then, she would be sold off to the highest bidder and forced to be a housekeeper and broodmare for her own husband …

Karna mentally chastised herself.

Broodmare?

Who was she to criticise the life choices of her sisters? What other prospects did they have in life? How dare she criticise them in such a way? Did she have half of Tarlana's patience and maturity? Or even a quarter of Karlis' generosity?

Ashamed at herself, Karna took a seat by the window and stared down at the side passage it looked over. She saw the Watch passing by, their spears raised in an aggressive manner. Idly, she wondered who they might be pursuing, probably some thief or pick-pocket.

A knock drew her from her pondering.

She stood quickly and straightened her hair. "Come in!"

She was greeted by Flora's infectious smile. "Good morning Miss Karna, I'm to bring you to Lord Peridan's study. They thought it would be best for you to meet their excellencies in relative privacy."

"Thank you, Flora. Have they found the prince yet?"

The hand maid's face fell. "No. Her majesty is so concerned for his well-being. The poor lady wept all night."

Karna nodded sympathetically. "I hope he is found without delay."

"We all do. Now come, we must make haste. It would not do to keep his lordship waiting."

Karna was shown into the now familiar room and smiled at the sight of Peridan and Timeon.

"Good morning, my lords," she greeted, "I trust you both slept well?"

Both men nodded and Karna was shown to a chair at the table. A simple meal had been laid, one that was much more to Karna's liking than the sweet deserts of the previous evening.

"We were wondering if you would you like some company when you speak to the Tarkhaan and Tarkheena, Karna?" Peridan said, offering her a platter of dried fruit.

Karna took a handful, considering his question. "Thank you, my lord. I believe I would."

The knight nodded.

"We think that would be most wise," Timeon interceded. "You must not feel friendless, Karna. It is important to remember that there are other paths open to you."

She stared. "What paths, Master Timeon?"

"Coming to Narnia with us," the physician replied. "You would be most welcome to join us on the voyage back."

Peridan stared at the healer and felt his mouth drop open at the same time as Karna's. Timeon was inviting Karna to Narnia?

Karna was actually gaping at him with her mouth open. It would have been funny if he had not been so shocked himself. Quickly he gathered his composure.

"Come to Narnia?" Karna exclaimed. "But Master Timeon, why would you invite me to Narnia? You don't even know me!"

In all the years he had known Timeon, Peridan had very rarely seen the older man betray any emotion. But now, his lined face held a gentle and almost tender expression.

"Karna," he said, "I know you are brave. I know you are courageous. I know you stand up for what you believe. I know many members of the Narnian delegation including their majesties have come to admire you. I know you have a good heart … and I know that you remind me of my Gwen."

Karna's gape turned into a full on gawp of disbelief. "Gwen?" she queried in a tiny voice.

"My daughter," the healer explained. "My beautiful, brave little girl. She was very like you. Brave, stubborn to a fault, always thought she knew best …" He smiled. "Always telling me the right way for things to be done."

Karna's surprise softened to a smile. "She sounds wonderful."

Timeon agreed. "She was, and only eleven when the sweating sickness took her and my dear wife one dreadful winter. You see, I was a physician in Archenland before I came to Narnia. I was a broken man, had been for six long years … and then I heard about the death of the White Witch. I came to Narnia and slowly … their highnesses, the talking beasts, my friends in Cair Paravel … they reminded me what it means to actually live, instead of just existing."

Karna and Peridan listened intently to every word Timeon said. The older man took a long draught of watered-down ale before continuing.

"I wanted you to know that you can come to Narnia. I have a home outside of Cair Paravel. A small holding with a few animals, and you'd be very welcome to live with me. I am aware that the Tarkheena has made you an offer, but know that it isn't your only option."

Not for the first time in the past week, Karna felt overwhelmed! She managed to nod, her appetite now gone. Part of her wished that things would slow down and give her time to properly consider her options. But she knew that time was not a luxury she had.

Eventually, she forced herself to speak.

"I cannot express enough how grateful I am, Master Timeon," she said. "Ever since I first spoke to Lord Peridan, I have dreamed of Narnia. For you to offer me a place in your home … I simply have no words. Thank you, so very much."

She smiled at the older man and touched by the warmth in his face. This good man was not only offering her an escape, but offering was her a life with him, a home.

"The truth is … I feel very overwhelmed. This week has changed my life so completely. My mother is dead. I have been pursued for my life and now I have been offered two courses that my life can take. I can only request that you give me time to consider what course is the right one for me. I have been amazed at your hospitality and the welcome I have received. I have much to think about."

The two men nodded.

"Of course," Timeon agreed. "It is a big decision and one not to be made lightly. We will leave you now in peace."

Peridan nodded and turned to follow the healer out. It was only once they were out of ear shot that Timeon spoke.

"Did you not have something to add, Peridan?"

The knight stared. "I beg your pardon?"

"Why did you not speak to Karna as well?"

"If we are discussing this, may I ask why you invited Karna to come and live in Narnia without first telling me?"

"I only spoke of it with King Edmund early this morning and he whole-heartedly agreed with me. I didn't have time to inform you before Karna entered."

Peridan nodded. "So you really wish to have her live with you?"

Timeon nodded. "If anyone deserves a proper home and love it is that poor girl."

"I can't argue with that."

"Then why did you not add your invitation to my own, Peridan? Have you spoken to Karna of your feelings?"

The Narnian lord grimaced. "Are they that obvious to everyone but myself?"

Timeon actually smiled. "That is often the way, my friend. But I repeat what I said, Karna deserves to know that there is not just a home, but a man who loves her, wanting her to come to Narnia. I would surmise that Sallowpad has already made this point and probably far more succinctly than I."

Peridan smirked. "He compared my powers of observation to that of a child."

"He is not wrong," the healer agreed.

The sound of approaching feet caused them both to look up. Tarkheena Menelay and her husband Tarkhaan Abramman were being led towards them by the butler. Master Mardeesh bowed them deeply through the doorway, his nose almost level with the door handle.

The Tarkheena approached Peridan smilingly. "Lord Peridan of Narnia, I believe you have met my husband, Tarkhaan Abramman of Tashbaan?"

Peridan bowed, noting the posture of Menelay's husband. He carried himself with the assurance of one who is used to having their orders obeyed. His expression and stance both show how comfortably he held his wealth and power.

"In the name of Tash, the irresistible, the inexorable, I greet you, Lord Peridan."

"And in the name of Aslan, the son of the Emperor over the Seas, I return your gracious greeting, Lord Tarkhaan," he replied.

Tarkhaan Abramman inclined his head courteously.

Timeon was similarly introduced and they moved towards the door.

Peridan pushed it open and but before moving further.

Karna was sitting facing the open window, her chin leaning upon her fingertips. She seemed deeply in thought, and he wished that he could give her more time to rest. But they were here and there was nothing he could do. The decision would be hers and hers alone.

He stepped decisively through the door, startling her back to reality.

"Miss Karna, may I present Tarkhaan Abramman of Tashbaan?"

The Tarkhaan strode through the door before his wife. He seemed very tall and broad next to Karna's slim form. She paled slightly at this impressive entrance but gathered her wits enough to curtsey in the Calormene way.

The nobleman regarded the peasant girl critically. There was more of curiosity than warmth in his hard face. Karna stood before him, clasping her hands nervously. Peridan noticed her fingers were clenched so tightly that the knuckles were white.

Eventually, Abramman inclined his head to her.

"I greet you in the name of Tash (may he be praised!), Miss Karna of Tashbaan."

Karna also inclined her head. "I thank you for your courteous greeting in the name of Tash, the inexorable, the irresistible, my Lord Tarkhaan," she replied. "I am honoured by your visit. Thank you for your condescension in coming to see me."

The Tarkhaan nodded. "My wife can be quite persuasive and she is convinced that you are her old friend's daughter. Come, let us be seated."

Karna perched on the edge of the futon as the Tarkhaan observed her shrewdly from the plush sofa opposite. She didn't dare to look away.

"My husband was very curious to meet you, Miss Karna," Tarkheena Menelay said kindly. "He insisted upon this meeting."

"I think such a request is to be expected, oh my wife," the older man stated, "given your wishes."

"I am myself assured of Miss Karna's parentage," Peridan interjected. "She was able to provide information of her mother's life and corroborate her identity before I had even revealed what Tarkheena Menelay had shared with me."

The Tarkhaan nodded. He seemed to be looking at Karna very intently. It made her uncomfortable.

Eventually, he spoke. "I can see what my lady wife was speaking of. There is no doubt that you are your mother's daughter, Miss Karna. You are the picture of her when she was your age. The resemblance is striking." He paused. "But you have your father's height."

Karna cast down her eyes. It was the first time her father had been mentioned by anyone but her mother or Menelay. She would have loved to ask questions about him … if she had dared.

"Now I have been told by my wife how you came to be under the protection of the Narnian delegation, but I would like to hear your version of what happened."

Karna looked up.

The Tarkhaan's eyes were dark and calculating. His expression gave nothing away. Though at the same time, there was no judgement there. Just simple command.

This was not a man who pretended to be something such as Master Tirshan did. This was a nobleman who was used to one thing – complete obedience.

Suddenly Karna was afraid.

What would he think of her actions? Would he accept her stubbornness and rejection of Lavarin as Peridan had done? Or would he consider her a wilful, ungrateful wench? Disobedience from women was seen as one of the greatest slurs against a man's honour in their culture.

"Karna."

She looked up to see Menelay smiling kindly. "Just tell Lord Abramman what you told me. We ask nothing more."

The girl nodded, gathering her composure. Taking a deep breath, she started.

"I was raised in the house of my stepfather, Tarneesh. He was not fond of me and resented having to raise a traitor's child beneath his roof. I noticed from a young age that he treated me differently to my siblings. I only found out my true parentage a few months ago when I worked up the courage to ask Mother about who my real father was. I noticed seen how much taller I was than the rest of my family. I worked in the employ of Master Tirshan the house builder and it was through my work that I came to first make Lord Peridan's acquaintance."

Karna chanced a glance at Peridan and received a reassuring smile. Emboldened, she continued,

"My stepfather arranged my betrothal to the local blacksmith and I tried to accept the match but … I couldn't …"

She trailed off. She didn't know how to explain her reasoning to this powerful lord.

"Why could you not accept the marriage which would have freed you from your stepfather's dislike?" Tarkhaan Abramman asked.

Karna struggled to find the words, but she knew that she had to speak.

"I … I … I would see Master Lavarin with my sisters on the way to work. My lord … he … his looks frightened us. He was not a controlled man. He allowed … he allowed his appetites to show. I feared him. I feared to be married to such a man."

"He showed carnal interest?" the lord prompted.

Karna nodded and ducked her head. She flushed in shame and could feel tears threatening. If there was one thing that she knew that she must not do, it was cry.

"I see," Lord Abramman eventually remarked. "And what did you do?"

"I … I expressed my disinclination for the match," she replied, choosing her words with care.

"You rejected the marriage? Publically?"

She nodded ashamedly. "I did."

"And your stepfather ..?"

"He was furious, my lord Tarkhaan. He beat me and broke my arm. I fled to my brother-in-law's house and lived there until I heard of my mother's illness …"

She bowed her head, knowing that she could not speak any more. A long silence followed before the Tarkhaan eventually spoke.

"I see. You need say no more, Miss Karna."

Karna nodded gratefully and waited for him to cast judgement. She knew that the final decision would come down to Tarkhaan Abramman. For all Menelay's assurances of help, it would always be the husband's final decision.

In a similar way, the kind noblewoman might speak of loving her husband, but theirs would never be a marriage of equals. While Karna was sure that Abramman must love his wife, she knew that he would never allow her to make large decisions without his permission. It was certainly true that a marriage like Ahoz and Karlis', one of real love and partnership, was a rare thing indeed.

Eventually, the Tarkhaan spoke. Karna forced herself to look up and saw that the calculation had left his eyes, though they still held no warmth.

"I can see that you have not had an easy life, Miss Karna. Though I would question the judgement behind some of your actions, I can understand why you have acted as you have. My wife has reminded me of a promise she once made your mother, and I am willing to uphold that promise. So, I invite you to join my household as my wife's companion. We plan to travel to Jazeera as soon as Prince Rabadash is married to the barbarian queen. We think it would be best for you to depart soon, so as to avoid detection by your stepfather."

Karna swallowed the lump in her throat and forced herself to say what was expected. "I thank you, my lord Tarkhaan for your kind offer."

The nobleman nodded and rose. "We must depart. But my wife will send word about your journey."

They all rose and bowed. Karna caught Menelay's kind smile and felt her heart falter as their honoured guests left the room. It was only once the door had closed that she allowed herself to collapse once more into her chair.

One thing was now clear. She had a choice to make and it needed to be made very soon!

Author's note:

I am sorry for the delay! I actually wrote ¾ of this a fortnight ago but work and migraines have stopped me finishing it! I know there is a lot of discussion in this chapter, but I wanted to realistically show what Karna's going through and the reality of the choices she faces. I can promise far more action and excitement in the next chapter though as things start to happen!

I would be interested to know your opinion of Abramman, I made a character change for him beyond what I originally planned and I'd like to know what you think!

As always, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think.

Thanks again,

Breeze.