Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas and creative license.

A/N: I totally love your response to this story! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I would say keep calm and read on but, that seems to be failing =P So keep calm enough to read on and I hope you enjoy what's ahead for our favourite pair!

Fifty Degrees of Love – Chapter Nine

"Christian, we haven't had a session in nearly two years. You didn't need me," Flynn explained to Christian as he came to claim a seat in the living room and watched Christian fall onto the couch next to him. He surveyed Christian's face for a moment, "You haven't needed me."

He had watched Christian since he had arrived. From welcoming him at the door, to grabbing a drink, to even the mere mention of Ana, Flynn had been calculating which Christian he had here. His conclusion so far was the bastard he had seen disappear into a million pieces years ago.

"Bullshit!" Christian blasted that last claim. "I'm fucked up, how can I just not need you?"

Flynn took in a breath and knew his next claim would send the male off the cliff of insanity, "Your wife is why." Leaning forward, Flynn put his elbows to his knees and studied his friend, "She was always your greatest cure. From the moment she fell at your feet that first day you were captivated right up until your wedding day when I last saw you. Ana made a good job at making sure your nightmares never got the better of you, she made sure you saw you for what she did and she, without the benefit of the doubt, always put you before herself. Even when she learnt all about you and that lifestyle you loved so much she accepted it and tried to be everything for you. She really loves you and you loved her enough to make as many sacrifices as she did for you."

"If she's so fucking amazing, why can't I remember her?" Christian breathed his frustration out, it was like feral heaves, his chest feeling the strain. "If I love her so god damn much then why was she completely wiped out of my mind by the bastards that attacked me?"

"Your case isn't just as a simple as any other head trauma victim," Flynn began, "Yours has a lot more complexity."

"How? How the fuck is mine any different?" Christian almost already deemed this as just another excuse.

"Maybe this should have been explained to you before," Flynn began and picked up his glass of water and took a sip. "I need to do some more extensive research, but I would say you are like this because of the previous memory lapse you had. You were in a helicopter crash a little over three years ago, Christian and you were left with no memory for a few weeks. After the crash you spent a few weeks with no memory before your memory was triggered, now this could be a repeat of this or," Flynn paused, "This could be a permanent brain effect. You suffered with post-concussion syndrome and that could be a factor in why you're like you are right now. If that's the case, we need to watch out for those symptoms again. Anything like headaches are key to it and as well, your out of character behaviour also points towards it, Christian. The brain is a delicate organ and you've had two increasingly heavy attacks to it in your life."

Suddenly Christian felt like he had been doused in ice, he felt fear erupt within him, "Do you think it could be permanent?"

"I can't decide that for you," Flynn gave a shrug as he tried to give a guarantor on the outcome of this. "You got your memory back before and although you suffered from post-concussion syndrome your priority was to get Ana back to who she was. You got moments where you acted off kilter but, you did a bloody good job at resolving it and restoring both her and yourself. It got you to the point you were. I didn't witness you before that point so I can't decide if this is a repeat but if we can get you the right triggers then you could well be back to where you are. Back to how you were with Ana after you got her back. Get back to the Christian she knows and loves."

"From what I heard she left me," Christian grumbled and looked down as his wrung his hands together. "She loves me so fucking much she ran away from me and didn't give me the chance to look after."

Flynn released a disbelieving chuckle and then remembered the Christian he was dealing with, "What happened to Ana is completely unimaginable. She did something in order to keep close to you after you were announced dead and it went wrong on her. She became an abuse victim and she wanted to love you but, she was dealing with so many conflicts that she had to learn to live without you in order to love you wholly. She did that."

Christian was rendered speechless for a moment, "Really?"

Giving a sharp nod and a smile, Flynn loved this part of the story, "She promised fate would bring you back together. You made her take her engagement ring with her and then a few months later you two literally walked into one another on the street and your relationship was stronger and formidable."

"Then why am I like I am now?" Christian sounded like a child as he asked that, "If we're like everyone keeps telling me we are then why the fuck was she blown from my memory and I find myself loathing her."

"You want my honest opinion?" Flynn asked and Christian gave a fearful head nod. "I think you've regressed back to a Christian that had no way of getting out of a great depression. You were so involved on what you had become, on the monster you had been made into that you didn't think you deserved anything but being given the ability to beat brunettes." Flynn watched as Christian controlled his breathing as he listened, "Ana was never just any other brunette and I think your mind still sees that. It knows she's worth more than a beating and a hard fuck, Christian. She gave you everything; a part of you acknowledges that."

"I don't feel anything for her though," Christian gave a perplexed look, his eyes searching out an answer in any part of Flynn. "If she's so fucking important to me why don't I feel it?"

"I have a theory that it's to do with a coping mechanism. You mentally cannot feel anything for her because in your subconscious you know you're scared to lose here entirely. All the words you speak to her aren't worth anything because you know, from what I know, she's probably shown you since this happened, that she loves you enough to deal with you and cope with you."

"My fifty shades double," Christian muttered to himself and then looked up alarmed, "What about the fact that I need control back? I need to take control of a sub and deal with my life that way. I need to reign back in and dominate how my life goes."

Flynn ran a hand over his chin, "Your urge isn't as much as it was I can tell." He saw Christian's fury ignite and Flynn knew to press it, "What about subs? What do you remember about them?"

Christian put his hands to his head and sat back, releasing a long breath, "I have some memory of getting someone new, but I just remember getting rid of one of the girls for displeasuring me."

Flynn thought for a moment before pushing for more details, "Remember the number at all?"

"The thirteenth," Christian commented with a great certainty.

Flynn decided not to divulge Leila's craziness today and seeing as he remembered getting a new sub, he would soon know it was her. There was overwhelming and then there was overpowering and Christian didn't need memories pressed on him. He needed to work this information the best way he could. He had to mentally take it all in and then make sense of it however his mind could.

"What?" He barked it as though he was commanding order.

"Nothing much really," Flynn noted and continued, "From that I can tell your memory goes back quite far. You were at fifteen when you met Ana. So we have a date almost on your last memory."

"Like that helps," Christian scoffed. "I don't particularly want to be stuck like this forever. I don't want to fucking loathe a woman that clearly would put her life on the line for me. How can I be ready to be like this?"

"For now though I think you need to get ready for what you're like now and find ways to change yourself for Ana," Flynn spoke with a feather light tone, "After all that's happened I'm sure you can do that. If that is what you want."

Shaking his head, Christian couldn't comprehend what was going through his mind. He snapped back like an elastic band and looked to Flynn with darkened eyes, "I think you mean Ana needs to be ready for me to be like this," Christian then took a stand and looked down at Flynn. "I won't ever be her nice husband again. That I can't change as quickly as she likes. So she's the one that will have to live with it."

Christian got up and left Flynn behind after that, not prepared to accept of Flynn's advice.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Fifty Degrees of Love -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Flynn didn't want to leave without seeing Ana first, and after finding him taking a stiff drink, Flynn realised Christian's flippant behaviour to her whereabouts was just adding fuel to the fire of how condemned the atmosphere in the apartment felt.

Going to Ana's own office, Flynn knocked and heard Ana call out to let him in. She looked up at him, her eyes bloodshot and red, her face sore looking from crying and if he had to admit, she just didn't look well at all. He gave her a smile as he opened the door more, "Mind if I come in?"

"Course not," Ana replied and put the manuscript she was skimming down and got up and took him over to the couch. "What are you doing here?" She asked giving him a welcome hug before the pair sat.

"It's been a long time I know," Flynn replied and gave her a smile. "Christian called and asked me to come round. I've been with him a little while."

"Like old times, eh?" Ana joked, knowing that it seemed to be a time warp that Christian had been cast back into. "How did that go down?"

"Oh you know, the same ole same ole," Flynn gave a little laugh. "I know I primarily came here for Christian but, I needed to see you, Ana. How are doing?"

"I've been better," She mumbled in admittance and dipped her head and pushed her hair back from her face

"Ana, I'm so sorry about everything that's going on, in my honest opinion, Christian not only regressed back to an earlier stage of himself but, he has reverted to near enough full on Dom mode. I can't say that this is permanent or not but, if he is you need to brace yourself for the fact that this time you might not safe him," He started to tell her with an honest heart.

Taking a cutting inhale, Ana went off topic for a moment hoping that someone who understood the mind and psychology could divulge a reasonable explanation to her. "Why doesn't he love me?" Ana asked and bit her lip minimally to gather some inner strength, "When he first met me before he wanted me. He might not have admitted it willingly back then but, he did and I knew it and he knew it. Now he doesn't want me at all. He isn't even attracted to me."

"Ana," Flynn started in an easy tone, drawing her into a sense of security, "In my professional opinion, Christian is acting out of character. His mind is telling him to hate it all, but his question tells me that there is a part in him that is fighting to be set free." She saw fear ignite in her blue eyes like wildfire, "I'm not implying you walk away, I'm just being realistic."

"Good because I don't want to walk away," Ana remarked and signed so sadly her body seemed to deflate even more. "He's worth it. He is worth the effort to get him to love me again."

Flynn took Ana's hand, "I don't think getting him to love you will work this time, Ana. He is not the man you met and it's going to take a lot of strong willed behaviour to make him realise that he is worthy this time of your love." He could see Ana's expression falter more so than ever before, "If you are willing to fight him then I will be here for you to fall back on. I will be here for that release if you think he is worth the heartache?"

"He is," She whispered at him tentatively. She didn't say anymore, that easy testimony concreted her place in this house. Feeling Flynn squeeze her hand before letting their hands slip apart Ana knew she had a fall out guy. She could run to him when she needed sanctuary. That gave her extra potency to stick this out. Looking up to the retreating man, she needed to set a path here, "I might need to call in for sessions," Ana called out as he went to leave to go home.

"Is this all because of the situation here?" He asked, knowing he had to deal with that stone now. He could see Ana was becoming the tortured soul under so many demonic presences and he knew she was reaching out a hand to him.

"Kind of," Ana replied Quietly and looked up to Flynn, "everything that happened with Stephen, it just won't leave me alone since all of this and it's killing me to live without my husband's help and living remembering what that man did to me." Ana's lip trembled, "I can't live back when he did that to me. I've lived without those memories; I don't want to go back to that place."

"You know I am on the end of the phone whenever you need me, Ana," Flynn told her, offering her an olive branch for guidance than he already had. "That might stand for Christian but, it stands for you too. Night or day but, may I offer my grand advise?" He watched only Ana nod at him, "I think you might need to remove yourself form the equation, Ana. Look at taking a break," Flynn advised, "Go away even for a night and come back with a fresh mind."

That struck a nerve and Ana started to shake her head. She had this irrational illusion that if she went away when she came back he would gone. She wouldn't be able to cope with that. For now going to work and leaving him was hard enough. Purposefully going away would kill her.

"I promised to never leave him," Ana looked up at the good doctor, "I'm not going to break that promise. I'm not even going to start. Not even for a day." She took in a juddering breath and tried to give a smile to cover up the impending tears, "I need some air."

Ana didn't even see Christian standing in ear shot as she fled the apartment.