Daring to Dream

Chapter 24

Freedom from Fear

The pale light of dawn was just creeping over the eastern horizon as Lord Peridan of Narnia made his way quietly towards the western pasture. It was that time of day when he normally felt most at ease. But then, most days did not hold the prospect of an imminent battle.

On similar occasions in the past he would have been as equally pensive. However, his farewell with Karna was foremost in his mind as he remembered the smell of her hair, the touch of her cheek. When he had previously left for battle, it had been without having someone to come home to. He had always bidden fond farewells to his friends, but there had been something particularly bittersweet about his parting with her.

It was probably the vague possibility of his never returning, but he swept this consideration aside before it was given any time to take root. He had learnt to avoid such thoughts on the eve of battle long ago and was not going to return to such a childish mistake now. It was only the prospect of leaving Karna behind that had awakened such a consideration.

But immediately he realised what a foolish, pessimistic opinion this was. Karna was by no means friendless in Narnia and under the care of Master Timeon. Even if he were to fall, she would have a future and life in Narnia. She was not only under his protection … though maybe he wished her to be?

This gave Peridan pause.

Eventually he thrust this thought aside as well as reality reasserted itself and he forced himself to focus upon the task at hand. This was not the time to consider such life decisions.

With a renewed energy, he strode through the side gate and toward the stable-yard. A few horses nodded over their gates but he had a feeling he would not find his own charger among them. He turned to a dun stallion that was drinking from a nearby trough.

"Good morning, Wheelm," he said.

The stallion raised his head and nodded a greeting. "Good morning, my lord. I assume you are looking for Telden?"

Peridan nodded. "Have you seen him?"

"He was put out in the western pasture by Master Meldor yesterday. I assume he will still be there."

He thanked the talking horse before heading towards the pasture. It had been seven long weeks since he had seen his horse and it seemed a lifetime.

When Telden had first been introduced to him, he had been a three-year old colt that his father had thought his son could learn to break in. As a fourteen-year-old lad with two years of battle-training under his belt, Peridan had been convinced that he would soon have his own charger and had been keen to leave behind the gentle ponies of his boyhood. As so often with these things though, the reality had been very different.

At only three years old, the young stallion had been far more interesting in chasing mares than being ridden and the young Peridan had soon learnt (the hard way) that pride comes before many a fall from a horse! However, after several months and much patience, he had gained Telden's trust and from that had come a thirteen-year partnership. Together, they had crossed the border into Narnia and had since gone through many battles, always working together as a team.

As he rounded a bend in the lane, Peridan came to the gate and saw the shape of several horses grazing far away. He gave a loud, shrill whistle and couldn't help grinning at the reaction of his stallion. Telden immediately looked up, his ears pricked and galloped over to his master with the enthusiasm of a colt.

Peridan laughed and came quickly through the gate, putting his arms around the horse's neck. Telden dropped his head over his master's shoulder and starting lipping affectionately at his hair. For a moment, they simply enjoyed their reunion, before the animal starting sniffing hopefully at Peridan's belt.

The Narnian lord laughed again as he gently pushed the horse's nose away and offered him the carrot he had bought. Telden accepted the offering eagerly, gladly crunching it as Peridan slipped on his bridle and led him out.

He met Lucy approaching with her own bridle and saw her smile. "He missed you," she stated, stroking the bay's neck. "I came to see him every day when you were away and he often had this forlorn look. It was as though he was asking when you would come back."

"It's the longest we've ever been apart," Peridan replied. "I was just marvelling that I've had him thirteen years."

"Well you beat Mist and I by three years," the young queen replied with a smile, referring to her own charger. "But we can still beat you in a race."

Peridan smiled. "We'll have to test that after today."

She sobered instantly. "Yes, we had best prepare."

Within an hour the entire army was assembled and ready to set off. Peridan took his place at the head and proudly lead the way, holding the great banner of Narnia. He spent the majority of the morning leading the column whilst in discussion with a leopard named Anver who paced beside him, remembering previous battles.

They had just paused for a midday repast when Prince Corin came up, dragging a boy who could have been his twin. The resemblance between them was so great that Peridan could not forbear staring. It even turned out that this lad was the one who had met them in Narnia!

"No great wonder," he remarked to Anver as they walked off to water Telden. "I have never seen a greater resemblance. I wonder …"

A memory stirred as he pondered their similarity, but he had little time to consider it before the leopard replied,

"It is indeed striking, my lord. Though I grow concerned by his young highness' lack of judgement. He is very young to witness a battle."

"But there would have been a greater grief if he had been left behind. It is, after all, his home that is under attack."

Anver's concern was soon proven right as the prince's temper led him to fight with and twist a dwarf's ankle. Glad for once that the prince was not his responsibility, Peridan allowed King Edmund to deal with him and was soon deep in discussion with Queen Lucy about the battle.

Their road was a perilous one as they were required to take a single-track over the mountains. A path so narrow that they would at times only be able to travel one at a time.

"But the trees will give us cover once we are over the summit," Peridan replied. "We will be able to spread out in a full formation once we have crossed the pass and can view all of Archenland. That would be a sensible position from which to properly assess the battle."

The plan for the battle were soon in place as the fighters were divided and different possibilities discussed.

"But what if King Lune and his people were unable to reach Anvard in time and it was overrun?" Queen Lucy wondered aloud.

"We can only surmise at this point," her brother replied. "Let us react to what we can see from the open ground that stretches beneath the trees. We will not have long."

They passed over the mountain in almost silence as each rider carefully guided their steed and every talking beast and giant was careful with their footing. Eventually, they emerged from the trees and were able to see all of Archenland spreading before them. It was soon clear (to their relief) that Anvard had not fallen and Rabadash had fifty men using a great trunk as a battering ram against the gate.

King Edmund gave his orders clearly and concisely. Peridan and the other riders took their place at the centre. After saying a silent prayer to Aslan, he tightened Telden's girth and put his helmet on with care. There was always a moment of anticipation before a battle when the adrenalin fills the limbs and gives a heightened awareness of your surroundings. He felt it momentarily as he tightened his grip upon his sword and then, the trumpet sounded.

Afterwards, Peridan almost felt as though he was watching the battle from afar as they plunged down the hill to meet the main Calormene army. There wasn't time to think as he drove Telden into the line of cavalry, striking to both sides with his sword, cleaving through armour and bone.

Without thought, he followed his king, heading straight for the Calormene lords. Several he recognised from their visit. Now heavily armoured and crying for their blood. All about him, swords flashed as men and horses cried out in a mixture of fury and pain. Swiftly, he dispatched a Calormene aiming for his neck and stabbed him in the chest. He had only just removed his sword when he heard a terrified whinnying and knew that the cats had killed the spare horses.

He saw that King Edmund had reached the Calormene lords and urged Telden forward to support him. The charger responded to his master's will and galloped off, bringing his hooves down upon the skull of one Calormen foot soldier. In the corner of his eye, Peridan saw a flash of red and ducked as an axe came soaring past his head. To his right, he saw a Calormene lord with a crimson beard bearing down upon him, sword raised.

Peridan turned Telden quickly and raced to meet the Calormene whose name escaped him. Their fight was swift and deadly as they fought, trying to find each other's weaknesses.

"Fight me properly, barbarian!" the Tarkhaan spat, jumping from his horse. Peridan acted immediately and dismounted in one swift move, fighting hand to hand with his enemy. The clang of steel rang in his ears as they sparred. The Calormene attacked with all his might, forcing him back. Peridan took a step when a thought struck him. He allowed one particularly fierce volley to knock his shield sideways, giving the Tarkhaan a false sense of winning. On purpose, he stumbled to the side, as though clutching an injury. The triumph of victory made the Calormene lord careless.

"Die, barbarian scum!" he yelled, raising his sword to give the killing blow, before staring down at the dagger which was now protruding from his chest. Without pausing, Peridan stabbed him through the heart with his sword and quickly pulled both weapons from his enemy. He turned in time to see King Lune strike down Azrooh. The Calormene army were severely depleted as many had turned tail and sprinted for the woods.

After striking down one Calormene he caught a glimpse of bay flank and whistled loudly. With relief, he saw Telden leap over a dead Calormene and canter towards him. He had just mounted and turned to help his king when he realised that the majority of the fighting had ceased and only King Edmund and Chlamash were still in combat. The next moment, the Tarkhaan had surrendered and the battle was ended.

Peridan gave himself a moment to breathe in relief and pat Telden's heaving neck. He dismounted and hugged his stead before heading over to the castle where King Edmund and King Lune were shaking hands over the battering ram. He was about to greet the king when he became aware of the ridiculous spectacle of Rabadash hanging from the wall like a piece of washing!

Unable to help himself, he burst out laughing with the rest and observed the prince's humiliation as he as bound and led in by several Archenlanders. Then, the most extraordinary thing happened as Prince Corin was made to stand by the boy Shasta and they realised the boy's true identity as none but the lost Prince Cor!

Amazed at the number of incredible occurrences happening that day, Peridan was just turning to deal with Telden when he felt the thump of a hand on his shoulder.

"Well met indeed, Peridan. It has been many years, my friend." He turned to see Lord Darrin smiling upon him, his brother not far behind him.

"Well met, Dar, Darrin," he replied. "It is good to see you both. You are right, it has been many years."

"Too many, my friend. It is good to see that you still have the same skill you showed with the sword as a boy."

Peridan thanked them before following to greet many old friends from his boyhood. It was particularly gratifying to greet Cole and Colin, with whom he had trained.

"Is Per here?" he asked, glancing around for his brother.

At the mention of his name, Col's face fell slightly. Colin's was a mask.

"He chose to protect the people, Peridan," Col stated.

Peridan didn't speak for a moment as this sunk in. "He stayed on the estate?"

"There was very little warning, Peridan."

"Was he among the hunt that met Prince Col?"

The brothers shared a look and Peridan asked no more. He knew the truth of his brother's character but had never wished to speak of it openly, as his friends now did the same. Even when they were growing up, Per had always been more farmer than warrior, preferring to learn about crop rotation rather than combat. But in time of war, every man had to fulfil his duty …

"Come Peridan." Cole interrupted his thoughts. "Let someone else care for Telden and greet the king."

With a final glance, Peridan allowed himself to be led away from the battlefield and any other unpleasant recollections.

After a few minutes of tossing, it was soon clear to Karna that she would not be getting back to sleep. Her head was too full.

Slowly, she rose from her bed and moved towards the window. It looked out upon the vast Eastern Ocean and reminded her of their voyage over the past three days.

Unable to remain quietly in her room, Karna dressed quickly and peered out into the deserted passage. It was still very early so it was dark, the wall torches unlit. Cautiously, she made her way along it and paused at the top of a staircase. It was also dim, so she took her time to descend, clutching a wall. Eventually she reached the bottom and found herself in a larger corridor that she thought was on the ground floor. She was just turning to the right when she heard a husky voice.

"Miss Karna?" Glancing up, she saw the panther Dell padding towards her. "Are you lost?"

Karna coloured and admitted that she was. "Lord Peridan came to say good bye and I couldn't get back to sleep so I thought I would get up and …"

"Watch the army depart?"

She nodded. "But I can't find my way."

The panther also nodded. "I understand. I am on my way to join Queen Susan in the courtyard if you would like to accompany me?"

Karna smiled gratefully.

"I sometimes forget that humans cannot see in the dark," the panther commented. "I am used to humans who know Cair like the back of their hand."

"It seems such a large place."

"Do not worry, you will soon grow accustomed to it. Cair is a wonderful place to live."

Karna nodded. "I am starting to see that. All the creatures I have met so far have been so kind."

"It is a very different society to Calormen, Miss Karna," Dell replied. "Everyone does their bit to help in Narnia. We do have kings and queens and lords and ladies, but they help with the running of the castle as much as any servant."

"They do?"

"Oh yes. Her majesty, Queen Susan is a keen gardener and often assists the moles in its cultivation. Queen Lucy is a keen archer and frequently aids with the fletching of arrows and cleaning of armour. Even High King Peter has been known to take a trip to the farm to sometimes relieve stress."

Karna had had a hint of this non-hierarchical way of living in Tashbaan but seeing it acted out was something different altogether. Soon, Dell and she were walking towards the stable-yard.

A small crowd were standing beneath an archway, watching the army depart. Queen Susan, Flora and Mrs Beaver were among them.

Karna followed Dell to a point where she could see the column but then held back, suddenly feeling shy. There were many faces that were new to her and she found her confidence suddenly gone. Thankfully the crowd were waving farewell and did not notice her reluctance.

Protected from view, Karna watched Peridan's back as he departed, looking so strong and brave upon his charger. He rode confidently with the Narnian banner held in his hand, proud and noble. A true knight.

For the first time, Karna was struck by a sense of inadequacy.

Peridan was a lord. He was of noble birth. Educated. Brave. Accomplished. Highly born. And what was she? A bastard. A peasant. Outspoken. Head strong. Stubborn. A servant girl.

Suddenly, the impossibility of her situation hit her. Why had she come here? Why had she chosen to come to this alien land, instead of accepting a safe home with her godmother? Why had she thrown her future into the hands of a man she barely knew?

Karna slowly allowed the doubts to creep in as her fears overcame her. Looking again, she took in the strange, frightening scene. A queen, regal and beautifully gowned was standing on a dusty step, her hand holding that of a talking beaver. Her maid, who should have had downcast eyes and been five steps behind her, was actually standing next to her, her hand resting comfortingly upon the queen's shoulder. It was all wrong!

Unable to suppress her worries any longer, Karna turned and ran from the strange scene. She moved as silently as she could and headed to the only thing she recognised. The sea. It was the ocean that had brought her to this strange land, maybe she could take it back?

Carefully, she crept through the castle, wanting to reach the beach rather than the harbour. Eventually, she discovered a gate that led directly to the golden shore.

It was only once she was kneeling, watching the gentle to and fro of the waves, that Karna realised her folly. She could never go back. She had made a choice and now she must stick to it. Even if it terrified and frightened her beyond belief when faced with the truth of her decision.

But it was just so … different.

Not exactly knowing why, Karna felt tears stinging her eyes. Bewildered, she simply let them fall.

She didn't know how long she sat there. But it was a long time before she realised she wasn't alone.

Gradually, she became aware of another sound beside the lapping of the waves. It was a deep, low rumble. So quiet that it was barely audible above the splashing repetition. Eventually, she did hear it.

A quick glance was enough to make her heart leap into her mouth and her blood freeze. The rumbling was coming from the chest of a creature she had only seen in her dreams.

He was beautiful, but terrifying.

The lion sat, about five metres away from her. He was huge. His shaggy fur was a yellow brown. His claws long and deadly. But it was his eyes that held her. Golden and ageless.

"Child," he asked, "why are you crying?" His voice was deep and yet soft, holding the resonance of the purr that still rumbled in his chest.

Karna stared at him. Unsure whether she was still in a dream.

The lion turned to her fully now and repeated his question. "Child, why are you crying?"

Unbidden, more tears stained Karna's face. "I don't belong, sir," she choked out, her voice barely a whisper.

"You don't belong where, child?"

"I don't belong anywhere."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't understand this land. It's … so different. I'll never understand …"

"Why do you think this?"

"I … I don't know … I just felt so alone …"

"Karna." Her name was a caress in his voice. It was the first time he had ever said it. "My daughter, you are not alone."

She stared at him, spellbound.

"You have never been alone. I have always been with you, through every joy and every sorrow." His eyes were suddenly very sad.

Karna felt the tears returning. "You were there when … when Mother …"

She started to sob and buried her face in her hands.

A soft, warm breath touched her face and she slowly felt calm enough to raise her face. His gentle tongue licked away her tears, comforting and giving her strength.

The lion was very close now, his expression anguished. "I was there, dear one," he stated. "I was there when she married your father. I was there when you were born. I was there when he died. I was there when she sacrificed her life to save yours. I was there to heal your wounds when your stepfather beat you. And I told you in the garden that on the path to joy you would face a great and terrible sorrow."

"Mother."

The lion nodded his great head. "You will see her again."

Karna felt her heart lurch. "I will?"

"In my new country. But it will not be for a long time, my daughter."

She nodded, calmer now. "Sir, might I ask you a question?"

"Ask anything you wish, child."

"Are you Aslan?"

"I am."

"Why did I see you in Tashbaan?"

"So you would come to know me, as you will."

"You knew I would come here?"

"I did and I can sense the fear that you have allowed to enter your heart. Karna, let go it. Fear robs us of our peace. You have no reason to be afraid."

"But everything is so different …"

"Only for now. Take time and trust in the kind souls you will find here. You belong in Narnia, my daughter. You always will."

"With Peridan?"

"With all my children. Trust me. Let go of your fear and heed my words. You are home."

In that instant, Karna allowed herself to believe. She looked into the wise, depthless eyes of the lion and trusted him. She saw her fear for what it was – left over pain about her stepfather and uncertainty about herself. Aslan's words washed through her, taking it away.

She. Was. Home.

"Thank you, dear Aslan," she whispered. His eyes softened and without thinking, she threw her arms about his shaggy neck and hugged him. His fur was warm and smelt of something she couldn't recognise. But beneath it, she felt his strength and great power.

This lion was compassionate, yes. However, there was also a power that reassured and slightly awed her.

She pulled back and stared once more into those depthless eyes. Very gently, Aslan touched his tongue to her forehead. "Be at peace, dear one," he stated. "We shall meet again."

With that, he turned and bounded away.

Author's note: This is a chapter of two sides – Peridan and Karna.

I wanted to explain the detail about Peridan's horse. Firstly, if you've read my profile you might have noticed that I love horse riding and I am a bit obsessed. If you read The Idealist (another fic of mine) you will have a closer explanation of the relationship a person can have with a horse. I chose not to have Peridan or any of the Pevensies riding a talking horse because C.S. Lewis states that talking horses only do their duty "in time of war" and in my head that meant that it wouldn't be considered proper for humans to ride them in everyday life (regardless of Edmund riding Philip in the film of LLW). So in my head a dumb horse made more sense because they could ride them every day and develop a life-long bond as Peridan has with Telden. Also, in medieval times, knights rode unsnipped (unneutered) horses called destriers that were as much a weapon as their swords because they would get something called bloodlust in battle and help their rider attack the enemy. So this is why I took so long talking about that back story.

I hope you liked the battle from his perspective – I have done a lot of re-reading to keep the events canon-accurate. Even the timings of the day! Anradin in the only Tarkhaan's whose killer isn't mentioned so I thought I'd let Peridan have the credit! Also a little family drama with his brother was mentioned because that MIGHT make an interesting character piece a little later if I want to come back and do a one-shot companion piece … we'll see …

I know Karna got a little angsty but the poor girl has been through an awful lot and she needed Aslan's reassurance to put everything back into perspective for her! I mean it has only been about a week since her mum died! I hope the second half made sense but I was partly inspired by the concept of a culture shock that many face when moving to a new country, Narnia is VERY different to Calormen.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. We are looking at one more chapter and then the epilogue. The aim is to complete by 1st September, we will see! Also many thanks to Mel, Marianne 16 and Kilgarrah for voting, though the next project is now at:

Peter/OC – 2

Bern – 2

Sorry for the long author's note but I am getting pretty sad that this journey will soon end. This was published a year ago on 31st July and I am two chapters away from the end!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chappie, please let me know what you think!

Thanks,

Breeze.