A/N: I'm finally here, guys! I came back from my perfect holiday in Croatia and am so pumped up with the energy! I can't believe I missed Sam and Casey's wedding! How could I! Well, I'm glad that I can still watch the song they wrote and sang, you should totally check it out: This Promise Sam Tsui & Casey Breves

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you might recognise (I do own the plot and my OCs)

"What is it, Sir?" Spencer asked once JJ walked into the room that locals prepared for their team. Hotch looked at his subordinate for a moment and then started slowly.

"I've noticed some things that could let someone to think that you are personally involved in this case. Does your behaviour have something to do with the case we're working on?" he asked, trying to maintain his business-like tone. Shit… No, no, no, he can't… no… Spencer's thoughts were rushing through his head. What should I say...? He'll see through all the lies I make up, fuck, no… He smiled while he was making the escape plan up.

"Hotch…" he started slowly. "I have no idea, whet you're talking about." He settled on this one. He knew it sucked but it would give him a little more time, which he really needed by the way.

"Well, let's start with that: you know the Sheriff. His son apparently was your best friend and now, you flinch when anyone mentions him. The rapes and murders started just before this whole Micheal stopped talking to you. Your theory is terrifyingly in place, like you were the victim number one, so I'll ask you again: are you connected to this case?" Hotch asked coldly, trying not to show how hurt Spencer not trusting him made him feel.

"You know, Micheal, I've been thinking about something lately…" Spencer said as he played with his friend's dog. Micheal looked up from the magazine he'd been reading to see Reid.

"What about?" he asked curiously.

"Maybe it's time I moved on… I mean, I'm still hurting from what Cassie did to me but… I can't be hurting forever… I think that… I think that I have someone I might like." He blushed at this and Micheal held his breath for a moment not to run to him and take him for that vulnerable expression of his.

"Who would that be? Do I know that someone?" he asked, trying to hide emotions that were playing in his head.

"Not really…" Spencer started again, blushing harder. It's not me was the only thought running through Micheal's mind. "She's younger than me." He continued, crushing Micheal's world with each word. "She's really smart, kind and she's such a good heart. I even told her about my mom and guess what!? She wasn't put off, not even a bit! Micheal, she's the first girl, who isn't scared, or put off, or disgusted! She accepted it! She even said that if I had any problems, I could call her and she'd help! I got her number!" he said excitedly, scratching the dog's head.

Micheal stood up slowly and went to his room, gesturing Spencer to go after him. He would not let this happen. Spencer was his. He had to do something. He had to claim Spencer somehow.

And he would do it.

He just had to figure out how.

Spencer looked at his superior warily and everyone could see the terror hidden there.

"You don't have to be afraid, Reid." Hotch said softly, seeing the expression on his youngest team member. "If my speculations are right, you don't have to worry about me telling anyone, even the team if that's what you want. I just need to know everything so that we can work the case out sooner and catch the UnSub before he rapes and kills more children. You have to understand, I am not asking you as your friend, as much as we both would like to, I have to ask as your superior... I'm sorry, Reid, you have to tell me..." Hotch spoke softly, looking surprisingly understanding. Spencer glared at him. First, JJ thought that he was taking drugs again. That alone was too much. His best friend didn't trust him. She believed that he was taking drugs again!And now... Deep breaths. he reminded himself. He straightened his spine and hardened his look.

"Hotch. Let's get this clear. I've had enough of all of your heart-to-heart talk. First, JJ suggested that I was on drugs again. Now, you're saying that I was raped as a child by my best friend who you suspect to be our fucking UnSub! Come on, all of you!" he yelled the last part, really exasperated and... and really scared. And Hotch, unfortunately for Spencer, Aaron saw right through it. He got closer and wrapped him into a close hug.

"It's okay..." he whispered, cradling the younger man closer to him. And that was all it took to shatter all the shields Spencer had brought up to shelter himself from the reality of the situation. He let out a sob. He felt his tears drop down on his superior's suit and he felt so ashamed of himself. He tried to stop the tears, he really did. but they didn't want to stop. They wanted to fall down, to clear his soul from all the darkness that was slowly taking over him. "You know..." Hotch started after a moment of silence and speechless comforting the man he came so close to caring during all those years. "The tears are actually helping. They clear the soul. They're like a rain. They wash away all the pain you feel. They melt down all the coldness inside of you. It's okay to cry from time to time. You just have to make sure there's always someone who will help you stop them when they start washing away parts of you." he whispered into Spencer's ear softly.

It didn't take them long to stop the tears from falling down Reid's face, but, to them, it felt like an eternity. When Spencer finally stopped sobbing and the tear flow slowed down, he took a step back from Hotch.

"I'm ah, I'm sorry. If you want me to sit out the case, I will." he murmured quietly, wrapping his arm around himself tightly in a self-soothing way. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience I caused, Sir." he added and was just about to leave when a warm hand caught his.

"I didn't say you've caused an inconvenience. I didn't say that I would put you out of the case and I do not plan on doing so. I'm going to hate myself for what I'm going to ask you now..." he answered, wincing at the end.

"You want to know if I could tell you more about him, his looks, his behaviour, everything that might help us catch him." Spencer stated coldly, hugging himself closer. He couldn't make himself remember Micheal. It would only hurt him more and more. He had been fighting so hard to forget every thought, every word, every feeling, every touch. And now Hotch wanted him to relieve all of those? No way. He shook his head and shrugged off the sympathetic look he got could feel. "No, Hotch, I won't, I-I can't it... it'll just hurt too much... Please, don't make me..." he whispered, his voice barely audible but still Hotch heard it clearly. He sighed and took one step closer to the young man.

"I know... I know it's too much to ask. But.. I would be there for you, for every second of you relieving it. I wouldn't let you get lost in your own head, in your own memories, I promise. Just... Think about how many children, how many souls, how many lives you would save by telling me all those important things about him. It could be the key to solving the case." he tried again, pushing another button called "conscience". He knew it was far from being fair and he hated himself for playing that kind of games with Spencer, especially Spencer. But it worked. He hated it, would hate every second of it, but it worked. And they would be able to save someone. But would Hotch be able to save Spencer from his eidetic memory? From himself?

He would think about it later, because right then, Spencer nodded his head.

"JJ, why was Reid so angry at you? I saw you coming in, he seemed furious but it was nothing compared to the hurt I saw on his face." Morgan asked curiously as the blonde came into the room. She sent him a guilty look and sat heavily on the chair.

"I noticed that he was acting really... off. So I confronted him about it and asked him if..." she stopped to take a deep breath. Oh, they would hate her for that... She certainly did not act like a best friend he considered her to be.

"If he was taking drugs again, JJ?" Rossi ended it for her and she could only do as much as nod. She didn't want to look up from her lap. She didn't want to see all those shocked, disappointed looks she thought she would see as soon as she looked at her teammates.

"JJ, it's okay. I've been suspecting it as well, I was just afraid of confronting him about it." Emily said gently, patting her knee.

"At least now we can say that he's not doing it again, can we?" Morgan added reassuringly. JJ looked up and saw their faces. they weren't angry, disappointed, mad. They were sad. Sad that their friend wasn't telling them what was going on and that they couldn't help him.

When they were all about to start talking about the UnSub, they heard a shout from the other room. They all looked art each other, before rushing out from their seats and to the sound of a shout. Because they'd all realised who was shouting.

Reid

What they saw was far from their expectations. They thought they would see Reid fighting with someone, they expected more shouts, more violence. They surely did not expect Spencer being hugged close to Aaron. They as hell did not expect the older man stroking Reid's hair, whispering words of comfort. That wasn't just typical. They shared another look with one another, this time understanding one, and came back to their room, trying not to think about what they'd just seen.

"Micheal, are you mad or something?" Spencer asked slowly as he entered the room.

"Come on and sit, Spencer." Micheal patted the place on bed next to him. The younger man obeyed."How long have we known each other?" Micheal asked. Spencer gave him a strange look but didn't do anything but answer.

"Eleven years, seven months, two weeks and three days. Why?" he couldn't resist the silent question. It was all too strange for his liking.

"Right. We've always been best friends, am I wrong?"

"No, you're right."

"Perfect. Haven't we gotten closer to each other after the whole 'girlfriend' fiasco?"

Now, that was suspicious.

"We have. And I'm thankful for that." Spencer answered warily. That earned him a laugh.

"No, it's not about being thankful, Spencer." Micheal smiled at him coldly. "It's about you not learning on your mistakes." ha caught Spencer's elbow in his hand and tightened the hold.

"Micheal, you're hurting me." Spencer started panicking then. This was not the direction he wanted it to go in.

"Haven't you learnt already that having a girlfriend is not for you!?" Micheal yelled, punching the boy on the face with such strength that Spencer fell on the bed. he tried to stand up, tried to run, but suddenly, there was someone on him, everywhere.

"Okay, why don't you start with how he looked like when he was younger." Hotch asked slowly, cautiously getting Spencer out from the flashback he was apparently having.

"I really think that we should ask Sheriff about how he looks like now..." Spencer tried yet again to run, though he knew it was futile.

"You know that we can't risk him finding out that his son is the suspect and most probably our UnSub..." Hotch answered, trying to sound casual but, really, failing.

"I know..." Spencer sighed and braced himself, hugging his body closely, holding himself up. "He was really tall. I would estimate that now he's about 1,95 meters tall. He had brown eyes, dark brown hair. He was slim but... really strong..." he whispered, trying not to fall into another flashback.

"It's alright, remember that I'm here." Hotch reassured softly, putting one hand on Spencer's knee and cursing himself when the man flinched from the touch.

"He had... visible cheekbones, his eyebrows were thick and brown... He was cheeky, really cheeky but he had a good heart.. Or so I thought, before he..." Spencer stopped, trying to calm his breathing, taking comfort from Hotch's hands touching his knee.

"Before he raped me." he breathed out.

A/N: BAM BAM BAAAAAAAM So, I've finally managed to update the story, yeyayeya! :D I promise, you won't have to wait for another one so long. Did you like the chapter? Leave me your review and your thoughts on that piece of fiction, maybe some suggestions at where the story should go from now on? I'm open for your propositions! Love you all!