(The Body in the Bag)

Last Chapter. Thanks for the reviews. I really love them.

I don't own Bones.

"I will show you fear in a hand full of dust." T.S. Elliot.

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Later that evening, Brennan was rinsing her dinner plate when she heard a knock on the apartment door. Leaving the kitchen, Brennan walked over to the door and peered through the peep hole in the door. Surprised, Brennan opened the door to find Booth on the other side.

Trying to smile, Booth placed his hands in his jacket pockets, "I came over to apologize. I was rude to you and I shouldn't have been."

Stepping back, Brennan asked, "Would you like to come in?"

Nodding his head, Booth walked into the apartment and looked around. "I hope it's not too late."

Shaking her head, Brennan closed the door behind her. Pointing to the couch, she asked, "Would you like some coffee? "

Nodding his head, Booth smiled tiredly, "Sure, thanks."

Following her into the kitchen, Booth leaned against the door frame and watched her set up her coffee maker. Eyes following her around the room, Booth remarked, "You have a new fridge."

Turning, Brennan smiled, "Yes, the other one wouldn't keep anything cool."

Nodding his head, Booth crossed his arms, "I'm sorry I wasn't nice to you when you came over this afternoon. I . . . well, I drank too much last night and I had a headache. Still, I shouldn't have taken it out on you though."

Smiling, Brennan pointed to the kitchen table. "It's alright Booth."

Walking over to the table, Booth grabbed a chair and sat down. "No it wasn't. It was rude and I'm sorry."

Sitting down across from him, Brennan replied, "Breaking up with someone is very emotional. I understand."

Placing his hands on the table top, Booth stared at them, "Hannah and I weren't really compatible. Not really. We both want different things in life. I was just too stubborn to see it."

Sighing, Booth looked up and shyly asked, "Are you still my friend, Bones?"

Startled, Brennan replied, "Of course I am, Booth. I consider you to be my best friend."

Nodding his head, Booth swallowed, "I wasn't sure. I've been pretty much avoiding you since I came home. I was being an ass and . . . I'm sorry for that too. I need to apologize to you for a lot of things I guess."

Shaking her head, Brennan replied, "No, you don't. Things have been awkward between us for a long time. I'd say since we had that conversation outside the Hoover. All of this awkwardness is as much my fault as it is yours. We've been avoiding each other since that night. I tried to put some distance between us and then finally went to Maluku to get away from you. You then went to Afghanistan and we didn't communicate for several months. When we came back, things were peculiar between us and add to that fact that you had a new girlfriend and things became more awkward between us than they've ever been. You have nothing to apologize for."

Rubbing his chin, Booth looked back at the table top, "I have something I want to talk to you about; but, I'm not sure how to do it. I don't want to scare you or make you mad. It's just something I need to tell you."

Worried, Brennan clasped her hands together and replied, "You can talk to me about anything, Booth."

Swallowing, Booth licked his lips. "The conversation we had in the SUV the other day, you told me that you didn't want to have any regrets. You said that you missed your chance. I . . . What exactly did you mean? Can you explain to me exactly what you meant because I think I know; but, maybe I don't and well, what did you mean?"

Biting her bottom lip, Brennan stared at her partner.

Sensing that Brennan didn't want to have that conversation, Booth stood up, "That's ok Bones. I understand. Hey, I still have a headache you know. I'm going to go home and go back to bed. I'll see you. . . "

Standing up, Brennan stepped forward and placed her hand on Booth's arm to stop him, "No, Booth, you just need to give me time to answer the question."

Stopping, Booth stared at Brennan, "Alright, I'm sorry."

Shaking her head, Brennan snapped, "Please stop saying you're sorry. This mess between us was not entirely your fault. So, please stop apologizing . . . ." Seeing him flinch, she sofened her voice, "Please sit down and I will explain."

Nodding his head, Booth sat down and waited.

Staring into her partner's sad eyes, she explained, "I've always been afraid to love anyone. Those that I truly love leave me, you know that. My parents, my brother, they just walked away from me. I . . . Love didn't seem like it was real to me. People talk about love; but, I've never seen any evidence that love was worth the risks involved in giving yourself to someone. You take a lot of risk to just put your faith into someone. It gives that person power over you. He or she can destroy you so easily and . . . . Until I met you Booth, I've never had anyone be as loyal to me as you have been. Even when I rejected you, when I hurt you, still you didn't walk away from me. You could have but you didn't. I walked away from you though. I was afraid that some day you were going to die and there wouldn't be anything I could do to stop it. It would be the final betrayal, Booth. You would be gone and I'd never see you again. So I left. . . . Lately I've discovered that the risk I was so afraid of wasn't really a risk at all. I've managed to make my life lonelier. I pushed you away and made you, forced you to look elsewhere for the love you were looking for. My fear of love, of giving myself to anyone just made two lives miserable."

Staring at Booth, Brennan smiled a little sadly, "Do you know what I discovered during the Eames case?"

Watching Booth shake his head slowly, Brennan continued, "I discovered that by keeping myself separate from everyone, keeping myself from loving anyone, I've made myself almost disappear. If I'm not brave enough to let anyone love me then I become separate from reality. I live outside of everyone's life and I almost don't exist. T. S. Elliot once said, 'I will show you fear in a hand full of dust.' He meant that when we die, we all fear that no one will notice. Booth, up until now my fear of risk, of letting myself love someone has made me fear that when I die no one will know I was ever here."

Standing, Booth took a few steps towards Brennan and knelt next to her. Picking up her left hand in his hand, Booth shook his head, "No, Bones. You have it wrong. I know you're here. God, I see you. Don't think I don't. I love you Bones. I love you and if anything were to happen to you I'm not sure what I would do with myself."

Swallowing, Brennan clasped Booth's hand, "You truly love me?"

Nodding his head slowly, Booth replied, "I've loved you for a long time, Temperance. So long, I can't remember when I didn't love you. If I asked you to give us a chance, to try to have a relationship, would your answer be different than it was outside the Hoover? I love you Bones. I want to try to make something between us. It's up to you; but, if you'd. . . ."

Placing her hand against his lips, Brennan slowly nodded her head, "Yes, Booth. The answer is yes."

Relieved, Booth leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you Bones."

Holding onto Booth as if someone might try to drag him from her, she replied, "I love you Booth. I do love you."

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