10

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When their eyes met, Ichigo felt like all the words he had prepared in his mind vanished into the thin air. He cursed his own stupidity. He would rather fight a bunch of shitty bikers rather than to stand there, in front of his current girlfriend—who might soon become his ex—trying to tell her the truth about everything, about the bet, of course because he didn't want to lie to her, not anymore, and also about his own reason… Everything, he decided. He would not back off now.

Both of the final year students stood there in the empty school backyard without saying anything. Ichigo didn't know how to start the conversation and Orihime was too busy wondering why he dragged her here. Both of them were busy with their own mind, too scared to break the silence.

In front of him Orihime was nervous, he could see it. However he was also feeling the same way. Though maybe for different reason than her. He clenched his hands tightly, feeling his short nail buried into his palms. Be a man, Ichigo Kurosaki! She might hate you after this, but what should be done, shall be done.

He took a deep sigh.

"Well, I need to tell you something."

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I didn't know why but I really want to run away from that place. I wanted to run away and hide so he wouldn't be able to find me and tell me whatever it is he wanted to tell me. I didn't want to hear it. No. If he wanted to admit about the bet, I'd rather not to hear it. If he wanted to tell me that he wanted to break up…

Of course he would want to break up.

It was only a bet and after these past few weeks I had been so lucky to be his girlfriend, I should be thankful! Now he wanted to say that everything is over… I knew that it was just a bet but I didn't want it to over. Not now… I hadn't even told him about my feeling. And why now? He could at least wait until the school festival. He could at least…

I really want to slam my head into the door to clear my mind. There were so many things my head. I panicked and suddenly I felt so scared. There were so many possibilities and I didn't like it. I knew since the beginning that a day like this would finally come but still when it really comes, I didn't expect that it would be this hard to face it.

It had been only few weeks but I had been fallen so deeply. I wished I could be with him a little longer. I wanted to know him better. I liked it when he touched me, accidentally or not, or when he looked at me as if he cared about me…. He might be pretending but I didn't mind. If only we could stay just like that a little longer, I didn't care even though it was only a bet. Even though he never really loved me…

Oh… I shouldn't be selfish. I love Kurosaki-kun and I wanted him to be happy…

"Are you listening?"

I was startled. His eyes were looking into mine and suddenly I felt so embarrassed. I was too busy with my own thought that I didn't hear what he said to me. I muttered an apology shyly but he just sighed and shook his head.

Is he angry to me?

"Listen, I want to apologize to you…"

I blinked. I looked at him in disbelief. I mean, why would he apologize to me? It was me who was not listening to him. It was me who had known that he was only going out with me for the bet he had made with his friends. It was me who… Ah… I bit my lower lip, a bit too hard that I faintly can taste some blood, "why?"

I knew it.

He wanted to end it.

Kurosaki-kun is too kind, I smiled faintly, I looked at my shoes, it was hard to look at him right now. No, I would cry if I looked at his face right now.

"You know, I…" he kneaded the back of his neck nervously, when I looked up, I saw how he was also avoiding looking at me. His voice was kind of weak, unlike his usual self, "I had lied to you…"

I wanted to cry but I knew it was not a wise choice. I shouldn't cry. It would only make Kurosaki-kun feel worse, so I forced a smile. I didn't want to hear him saying anything more about it, "I- I know about it, Kurosaki-kun… I… You don't have to apologize, because I lied to you too. I pretend like I know nothing about that…"

He looked at me with a deeper frown upon his face, "what do you mean you know about it? What do you know about it?"

I grinned, though it was so difficult to keep the tears away, "Umm, everything?"

Kurosaki-kun started to look uncomfortable, he looked at me with a worried look, "what? Tell me what do you know? How do you know?"

I sighed.

If I could I didn't want to say it out loud.

"I know about the bet you made with your friends," I still kept the smile on my face and forced myself to look at him, "I was there… Umm, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your conversation… I…" I realized that Kurosaki-kun's face turned red, quickly I added, "I am so sorry…"

"You mean you knew? You already fucking knew about the stupid bet and yet you didn't say any fucking thing?" he was angry, I knew it, "WHY?! Are you enjoying this?"

I was so surprised by his sudden accusation. I enjoyed this? How come? It hurt me so bad so how could I enjoy this situation? I shook my head and tried to explain, "no… I mean…"

"Why do you let us do this to you? Why do you let me do this to you?" for a reason, Kurosaki-kun sounded hurt, "I don't understand you…" He narrowed his eyes, "is it… pity?"

"No, I…"

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Ichigo shook his head.

"Kurosaki-kun…"

"No," he cut her in, "I'm sorry, I can't talk now."

Ichigo turned his body and walked away, hands deep in his pockets. He wanted to hit something. He needed to get away from this place as soon as possible. Away from her. He needed to clear his mind.

"Kurosaki-kun, wait! I…"

Ichigo kicked a trash can, effectively stopped her from whatever she wanted to say. Ichigo stopped but he didn't turn to look at her. His voice was shaking when he opened his mouth, "It's over. Good for you, you don't need to pretend to be my girlfriend anymore. You… I…" he cursed he swallowed whatever he had wanted to say, "forget it. Good bye."

Without saying anything else Ichigo left her without even took a last look at the girl. What he had just heard from the girl was just too much for him. He couldn't believe it. Why would he do this to herself? To him? He had been struggling about it. Trying to find the right time to tell her meanwhile all of this time, she already knew and pretended as if knowing nothing.

All of this time, there were so many chance but she had never told him, she had never even asked him about the bet. Why? He was too angry that he couldn't think right at the time. He was so angry to himself. To his friend. This stupid bet…

Is it pity?

Ichigo knew that Orihime was a kind soul. She would do anything to help other people. That was one of the reasons why he couldn't take his eyes away from her. She had been always gentle and kind… If she knew about the bet and still let him become her boyfriend, then it must be because she pitied him…

Ichigo stopped to punch the wall next to him.

"DAMN IT!"

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Author's Note:

I am so bad! When I said I would update fast, it is actually a year later! Wow, it is a short chapter but at least I update, ain't i? One more chapter or two… or three? Oh well thanks for reading!