At last I have updated! I am so happy to be back on track! I hope everyone's holidays went well, and 2010? I can not believe it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Becoming Jane, just my characters and my plot.
~paperbackwriter9
At last I was back in London. The city life around me was up and moving, unlike back at home in the country. I was in quite a bad mood from Cassie's engagement news. Was I the one at fault for her not speaking to me? I had just offered my opinion and worries about the marriage she was entering into. But I could not be sad for long, for as soon as the carriage rolled to the front of the apartment. Tom was walking outside, and turned and smiled.
Pushing the door quickly open, my thoughts about Cassie soon disappeared and I ran into his arms. Such a feeling it was, to be able to know that Tom was mine forever. It was not a dream that I would awake from on my sick bed, but reality. "I had missed you my love," and he smiled and kissed me softly.
We strolled slowly back into the apartment after the driver handed me my few bags. It was calming and I missed the smell that it had; a smell of books, and ink, and home. It was very refreshing to be back, and sadly it was already more relaxing then when I had went to relax at home. "So my dear, how was the visit? It was shorter then I realized."
"There was a dilemma," I sighed and sat down on the chair in the sitting room.
"Trouble? Nothing too serious I hope," he said and frowned.
"No, but… but Tom, Cassie is engaged!" My voice rose and heartache rushed through me again. How could Cassie marry a man whom she did not love and need!
"To whom?" He asked with laughter and curiosity, "Only you Jane would be upset at the fact she is engaged."
"Mr. Wisely," I said quietly and he stopped the laughter.
"Oh Jane, do not be upset, I am sure there is a good reason behind all of it," and he sat down next to me and curled his arms around me. I felt protected and safe, and I smiled, burying my face into his sleeve. I murmured that I did not want to think about it and he nodded. "We do not need to discuss it. But I must say, I was very lonely without you," and I looked up and he smiled down at me.
His lips came into contact with mine, and I felt the strength he possessed as he pulled me closer to him. His hand was carefully on the back of my neck, and I felt myself tingle with delight as my thoughts about everything disappeared. It was pure joy to be with him and have him safe next to me. Tom suddenly pulled away and picked me up from the seat into his arms.
"Tom!" I yelled and laughed.
"I love you Jane," and my laughter died down as I looked at him was emotions pouring through me.
"I love you Tom Lefroy," and he smiled.
It had been planned that tomorrow morning I was going to go shop for a wedding dress, and find a gift to send to Cassie in hopes to make up, and for the engagement. I truly hoped that it would work, but I had doubts. Eliza had called earlier and we had planned it out, yet I could not sleep.
With candles lit and in a room to myself, I took out my book, titled First Impressions. It was in need of something, and I stared at the pages waiting for the thoughts to run through my tired mind. My character Elizabeth and her friend Charlotte were on this page, and as I read I did not like it.
Then an idea came to me, and it was simple and perfect for the rest of the scene that I was working on. I wrote how Elizabeth was frustrated with her friend Charlotte for marrying someone she did not love. It was the perfect scene and it was quite easy to write as I imagined herself and Cassie. With the energy I had spent in writing furiously, I put the book back into the drawer and would reread it tomorrow. I hoped it sounded as good as it did at the present moment.
Yawning, I crept up and into my room, blindly finding the bed, and sleeping.
"Wake up my love," and I slowly opened my eyes. Tom's face was peering down into my own and I smiled and then came to realization.
"Tom! I am not yet dressed!" I sat up and looked around the room.
"It was quite hard to not to ignore you, with waking up to see you in my bed," and he laughed, pointing around his room.
"I am so embarrassed," but then I was not as I looked at the smile that rested upon his face, and we laughed quietly. He kissed me and then left me to get dressed in my room, and I quickly hurried. I had overslept and Eliza was to be here quite soon, and I had not yet eaten breakfast.
A red dress would due today, and my hair was easily pulled back into a bun with dark brown curls around my face. After I had tainted my lips a pale pink, and pinched my cheeks for a bit of color, I was satisfied and I slipped on my shoes and grabbed the coat and hat, and then went back for my gloves and a scarf. The cold wind would be furious today, and I did not want to get sick.
As I walked down the stairs, to the dining room for breakfast, Tom sat there reading the paper. "You look prettier than ever my dear," and he smiled.
"What is it Tom?" And he feigned a hurt expression.
"Robert, do you believe she thinks so little of me?" He said to the cook, and Robert smiled.
"I believe you are up to something as well sir," and he laughed and I smiled, and touched his hand.
"What is it Tom?"
"Henry," he swallowed, "Henry as asked me to accompany him to the bar tonight for a small brawl, just for some winnings and the glory of fighting once again."
"Tom? I did not know you still boxed. What if you get injured?"
"Truthfully Jane, I still boxed, the last time was just before I came to see you," and he wiped his mouth and stood up, and pushed the chair in. He kissed my head and stood above me. "It is nothing too serious, just a short fight and small winnings."
"If you get hurt-"
Tom stood up tall and smiled, "I shall not get hurt my love," and there was a knock on the door, and Tom left to get it. "It is Eliza!" He shouted and she came into the room, with a smile on her face.
"Good morning my cousin, I have found a wonderful to store to try our luck at," and I smiled and chewed at the same time. When I swallowed I motioned to Tom.
"He is going to the bar to fight this afternoon, and this appears to be Henry's idea. I shall kill him… you realize this?"
Eliza laughed and placed a hand on Tom's shoulder. "I believe that sounds like Henry, but they are adults now, they can take care of themselves. Now I will leave to wait in the front while you two say your goodbyes," and she winked.
Tom came and hugged me, "Have fun, and be safe," he kissed my forehead.
"You must be safe Tom! If I come back to you bleeding, I shall never forgive myself for letting you go.
"Of course I will be safe," and I gathered my purse, and went to Eliza.
The weather was cold against our faces, and the wind cut through our coats. With my gloved hand, I kept my hat firmly on my head. The people walking looked the same as we did, with red noses and flushed cheeks. "This is the bridal store Jane," and I was thankful to be getting out of the chilly London air.
There were many elegant dresses and I wrinkled my nose at them. They were too costly and used to much fabric and bright colors. Tom had been generous when he told me to spend how ever much I wanted, but I had been all for wearing my nicest gown, as tradition. "Just look at this fabric Jane," Eliza said with wide eyes. I could tell who was going to enjoy the day, but I did admit, everything was beautiful, but it was not quite what I had wanted.
"This is too much Eliza," and she sighed.
"If only you would understand the beauty in the plan and care for a wedding. You and Tom are finally going to be man and wife and you do not even mind how you will appear," she motioned to a dark green dress and I nodded my head no, and held up my change purse and shook it. "Oh Jane, it is your wedding day. Spend the money without a care! Everything shall be alright."
"Eliza, that is not true! But the money could be saved, and well spent for another aspect of the wedding. I have mama's old wedding dress which she sent early during my stay in London. I did not tell anyone, for I knew you would have a fit," I smiled and she sighed once more.
"Well then we shall go back and have you try it on, but first, the gift for Cassie." I had forgotten all about it, and was not sure what to send to her.
"Eliza, I am lost on what to send," and she smiled.
"I know just the thing. What about a dress she can wear for your wedding? Something graceful that shows her that you want her to be there with all your heart." It was a good idea, but yet…
"It sounds like we are buying her forgiveness."
"You do want her there?"
"With all my heart," and I sighed, looking out the store front window understanding Eliza's point.
"Then we must search for an ideal dress, and then go home to try on your mothers." It was a good idea, and I suddenly looked at the dresses and pictured my sister wearing one and feeling like a queen, and hoped she would forgive me.
We spent hours looking through three stores in total. Eliza tried many on herself, and forced me to try some on, just to make sure I did not want to change my mind and buy a dress. But I loved my mother's dress, and the thought of saving the money.
The sky grew gloomy and I knew that we must start to hurry for the walk home would be quite brisk. Then I saw a dress, dark blue in color, stick out slightly. I took it and held it up to me, picturing Cassie wearing it. The blue would make her eyes glisten, and the lovely white lace ribbon that would go underneath the bosom, with another thicker ribbon around the waist.
"Eliza! Eliza, come, look at this dress, I think it is just the thing for Cassie," and I held it up. Her eyes scanned over the dress and she stood picturing it on Cassandra.
"It would be perfect for her figure, and the color is wonderful," and just like that, the dress was bought, and I had hope.
The blustery weather was blowing harder then earlier in the day, and I tied the ribbon of my hat tighter. "Hold on tight," Eliza said as I grabbed her arm. We walked under the soft glow of the lamp lights and shivered. The few people walking along were rushing and holding their caps to their heads. "Quicker Jane! I can not feel my toes!" And we rushed as best we could, with the wind cutting through us like a knife.
Finally we came around the turn and there was the apartment house. We almost ran as we came to the door and knocked several times. When Tom's man came to the door, I was surprised it was not Tom himself. "Oh Ms. Austen, Henry has been looking for you all through the day. I myself was here to be in charge if you returned."
We stepped inside and I untied and took off my hat, with a puzzled expression on my face. "What is the matter?"
"Oh Ms. Austen, it is horrible news," and Eliza took of her hat, and stood waiting for him to continue.
"Get on with it before we die from curiosity," she said and began to take off her coat.
"Shush Eliza; there are appropriate ways to go about asking-"
"Mr. Lefroy was attacked at the nearby tavern tonight, after he had finished a round of boxing," and I stood there, waiting for the joke to finish.
"Jane?" Eliza asked and I stared ahead.
I felt the blood in my body rush to my freezing fingers and toes, and the sting of returning to a warm temperature in my hands and feet, as well as my nose. "Where is he?" I asked softly but frantically. Eliza tried to turn me to face her, and then she stopped.
"Where is my Henry?"
"He is safe and with the master, down at the hospital," and she turned to me.
"Jane we must go at once, call a horse and carriage sir!" He left and, and she put her hat back on and took my hat out of my hands and tied it onto my head. "Jane! What is the matter with you? Tom was attacked!" Tom's man came back into the room and he held a crumpled piece of paper.
"I am sorry Ms. Austen, but I believe the messenger told me a detailed description of what I have just said. He had said the Mr. Lefroy was stabbed, stabbed by a man claiming to be shouting that Mr. Lefroy had stolen something very important to him." My heart seemed to beat faster and louder in my ears. I dropped the box with Cassie's dress and I sunk to the floor.
"Jane! We must go visit him! Please do not faint!" And she picked me up and I was frozen in fear. I had warned him that he should not have gone out tonight. I had sensed something was wrong. But who would have hurt my poor Tom? Was this the work of the culprit who was desperately trying to separate Tom and myself? Now the person responsible might be using violence?
"Madame! The carriage is here!"
Suddenly fear engulfed me and I looked around at the darkness outside the front door and into the city, wondering if there was someone watching me at this very moment. Fear filled my body so quickly, that I unfroze and rushed to the carriage that had pulled up to the doorway. I needed to be by Tom's side, I needed to feel safe.
Yay! I updated. Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! It means so much, it really does! Another update during the month of January, I hope, and shall try my very best! =)
*Women did not wear white wedding dresses until 1840 when Queen Victoria first wore it. The usually wore their best dress, so they would be able to wear it more than once.*