Chapter 47:

I do eventually turn around, knowing who I will see, but not knowing what to expect.

To Peeta's credit, he doesn't flinch as Gale faces me and reaches out his arm in a sweeping motion, gesturing to the dance floor. He just nods brusquely, acknowledging Gale's presence with a hello and a smile, and then turns to me and says, "Go ahead, I'll see you in a few minutes." But the intensity of his short good-bye kiss, coupled with the way that his hand grabs my own, finding my ring and twisting it around with his thumb and forefinger, couldn't have sent a clearer message to Gale.

Watch it. She's married now.

Peeta turns and walks away, leaving Gale and I by ourselves but not exactly alone- there are people all around us dancing. I have never slow-danced with Gale before, either- it definitely doesn't seem like his thing- but I'm guessing that he doesn't want to waste what might be the only opportunity that he has to talk to me.

Gale takes my hand and we scoot over a couple of steps to a less crowded area of the dance floor before he takes me in his arms, draping his hands around my body, trying to pull me close, a little too close. I encircle my arms around his neck but find myself fighting to keep some distance, pushing his shoulders away rather than pulling them towards me. The little tug-of-war continues for a few moments until I look at him knowingly and shake my head. He simply smiles, leaning his head down to be closer to mine but keeping the distance between our bodies a respectable few inches. I concede.

We awkwardly sway back and forth. Gale might be agile and graceful in the forest, but that agility clearly does not extend to the dance floor in the way you might expect. We are silent for nearly a minute when eventually he sighs.

"It's been a few weeks; you'd think I'd know what to say," Gale confesses, whispering towards my ear, before resting his chin atop my head. I simply nod. He was one up on me- I couldn't get words to escape my mouth at all. "Don't worry, I'm not here to cause trouble," Gale continues, a bitter yet resigned edge to his voice. He then adds begrudgingly, "I promised everyone in my family that I wouldn't. They're all keeping an eye on me. I'm sure that they're watching us dance now."

"I doubt they're the only ones," I reply. I can almost feel Peeta's eyes lingering on us, but I can't spot him in the crowd from where I'm currently standing.

Gale nods in acknowledgement, and then sighs again. A few times. He doesn't say anything at first, but then he pulls back, looking at me. His features twist painfully on his face as he mutters, "He really makes you happy, doesn't he?"

He's hurt, and I don't want to hurt him more. But I have to be honest. I nod. Peeta does make me happy. And more importantly, I know that he will make me happy. My nodding becomes more fervent, and I try to elaborate. "Yes," I whisper. I find a little lump in my throat prevents me from saying anything more than that. But I suppose that's all the elaboration that Gale needs anyway.

I see his eyes start to glass up just a bit, though he seems entirely in control. He just asks me, with a sad smile, "You remember what I said the last time I saw you?"

I nod. It should have been us. I have thought about those words for a long time. I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "Maybe it should have been us, Gale-," I begin, then hesitate, the words stuck on my tongue for a second, "…but it wasn't," I finish weakly. It was true. In life there are a lot of choices that aren't made because other ones are. And maybe Peeta wasn't my original choice- my initial choice would have been not to marry at all- and perhaps Gale and I would have eventually ended up together if I hadn't been thrown into the Games. But that's impossible to predict- and none of it matters now anyway, because I had been thrown into the Games. "I hope that you'll be able to accept that," I say, my voice just a little stronger.

He sighs, then looks at me, his eyebrow crooked. "I guess I don't really have much of a choice, do I?"

I shake my head. "But I want you to be happy, too," I hastily add. Then my mouth spreads up just slightly on one side. "Well- as happy as you can ever be." That was the thing about Gale.

Gale flashes me a little half-grin back, though the glassiness hadn't entirely disappeared from his eyes. "I'm glad that you're happy, Catnip," he replies, choking out the words a little. But then his face hardens and his voice lowers. "But if you're ever, uh- not happy- because of him, you come and see me," his voice sounds downright menacing now, "and I'll take care of it."

I smile. I doubt that I will never need him in that capacity- if anyone is more vulnerable in our coupling, it's Peeta. And speak of the devil; it is at that moment that I notice him across the room, glancing over at us. He is trying hard to be distracted, conversing with Madge and Mayor Undersee, but his eyes keep darting back to Gale and me. I smile at him and wave, but then turn back to Gale, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks, Gale," I say, very quietly.

The song ends a moment later, much to Peeta's relief it seems- I see him out of the corner of my eye easing his way through the crowd back to us. When he returns, Gale does something incredibly uncharacteristic- he sticks out his hand for Peeta to shake. Peeta obliges.

"Congratulations," Gale says, with sincerity in his tone that I don't question. He looks Peeta straight in the eye and says very clearly, "You'd better take care of her, Peeta. And if you don't, then I will."

Peeta looks surprised at his directness, but swallows and nods his head nervously, vigorously. "I will," he says, serious. He looks a bit like he's repeating his vows, and I smile.

Gale says goodbye and turns away just as another song comes on. This time, it's a fast dance, and Peeta leads me out there again. Whereas Gale and I have the distinct advantage with our movements in the woods, Peeta can school us both on the dance floor- years of dances that Peeta attended and Gale and I skipped paid off for him. I'm awkward and uncoordinated, but Peeta doesn't mind, and he makes me laugh. Perhaps I should feel embarrassed, as ungraceful as I am dancing with him, being the center of attention, but I've managed to consume another two glasses of champagne, which officially puts me into the I don't care what other people think category. I just laugh and try to keep up with him for the next few songs.

Peeta and I spend time together, but we also spend time apart. We know that after tonight our families will be gone, and that we'll be staying by ourselves for at least another week in the honeymoon suite. So while we want to enjoy our reception together, we don't want it to be at the price of excluding our family and closest friends.

So when the next round of slow dances begins, Peeta and I separate, Peeta asking Prim to dance, and me taking Cinna's outstretched arms. I hug him as we're dancing and thank him for making me look stunning on my wedding day, and he's as eloquent and considerate as always. I dance with Haymitch, who by this point has been drinking the finest Capitol spirits for hours, and he slurs quietly in my ear that he will talk to me after the honeymoon about 'plans' and 'updates', which could only mean one thing- the rebellion. But he assures me that our discussion can wait a week and winks when he tells me to have a memorable honeymoon with my star-crossed lover. I dance with Peeta's dad, who wistfully tells me that he's happy that a Mellark man nabbed the girl of his dreams. His eyes are a little misty as he says it.

I see Peeta dance with my mom, Effie, Madge. We talk to everyone, hug them, thank them, tell them goodbye. We assume that our District 12 family and friends will leave as soon as our reception is over- and we don't want it to end. But it eventually does. After I throw my heavy bouquet with all my might and Greasy Sae enthusiastically catches it. After Peeta gets under my dress and retrieves a lacy garter belt from midway up my thigh, both of us blushing beet red (I had no idea why Cinna had outfitted me with that stretchy thing earlier that day, he just casually mentioned that it was part of an old tradition to wear one). After President Snow himself calls Peeta and I to the middle of the dance floor where he presents to us a key with a heart-shaped bow. And after the unforgettable look of nervous but hopeful anticipation on Peeta's face as he stashes the key in the inside pocket of his tuxedo jacket.

And after the reception ends, after everyone goes home or out partying or wherever they're staying for the night, Peeta and I return to find the twelfth floor of the Training Center tower deserted. Though we could have spent the night perfectly content in the sitting room, Peeta tries to ask me in a casual voice if I want to go upstairs to check out the honeymoon suite for a few minutes, just out of curiosity. But his voice cracks as he asks it, giving him away. I smile at his nervousness and nod in reply, holding my uncomfortable wedding shoes in my right hand while taking his trembling arm in my left. We slowly make our way up the stairs. I can feel his heart pounding even as I stand a foot away from him. My heart begins to pound, too. I can guess what he's hoping we've come up here to do.

We unlock the door to our honeymoon suite to find a gigantic heart-shaped bed and hot tub; more chilled champagne in a heart-shaped bucket. He asks me hopefully if I want to take a dip and I nod, feeling brazen from the champagne. We slowly strip off our clothes to our underwear. I may have felt Peeta excited before, but seeing him excited and vulnerable through the flimsy material of his silky boxer shorts is another matter entirely. It is impossible to look at him like that and not feel curious…and, well, turned on. And the amazed look in his piercing blue eyes as he takes in my underwear-clad body excites me even more. We submerge ourselves in the steaming bubbly water, drinking more sweet bubbly alcohol from crystal glasses. We start to kiss and make out just like before, except that it is nothing like before, because we are wet and slippery and practically naked under the bubbles, and because we are husband and wife. Our underwear pulls and tangles in the water, quickly becoming a liability, and our self-consciousness is overcome by our excitement as we eagerly free each other from it.

Peeta and I lose our virginities. We go to the bed and spend the entire rest of the night exploring each other's bodies, learning to feel the kind of physical pleasure that I never thought possible, and experiencing the kind of emotional closeness that I could only dream of. Peeta holds me close the whole time, cupping my face in his hands, kissing me softly on the lips, and telling me that he loves me, over and over again.

But we don't make love because it is our wedding night, or because the Capitol wants us to conceive a child. We don't do it because it's what normal married couples are expected to do, because this situation isn't normal. We don't do it to try and forget what's happened to Annella, Jack, and Mouseface- or to the other tributes for that matter- we will never forget, and we need to remember. We don't even do it because we are a couple of curious teenagers who have trouble keeping our hands off of one other (Well, okay, we are. But that's not why we do it tonight).

We make love because, in Panem, there is just too little of it left.

The End :) (for a while, anyway...)

A/N: Compared to my other stories, this one was a lot slower, and was probably harder to get into. So if you're reading this and stuck with me the whole time, thanks! Oh, and without trying to sound too shameless, I love all kinds of reviews (as long as they're constructive)- I squeal like a little girl when they hit my Inbox, and try to incorporate them into my writing as much as I can. They're my single biggest reward for posting on here- so thanks to those of you that have taken the time to give me feedback :)