Batty Advice

Harlequin

Batman walked silently through the hallways of Arkham Asylum. He really did walk silently a lot, but he was Batman, and that was how Batman rolled.

He knew his way to the interrogation room by now, and blew past all the employees working there. He entered the small room, not exactly sure what he would find.

"Hi, Batman," Harley Quinn said.

She was huddled on the ground, tears dripping down her face. Her hair was dirty and knotted, and she had dirt smeared on her arms.

"What's going on?" Batman asked roughly.

"I was trying to prove how tough I was, and instead I fell out of a tree."

"Why am I here?"

"I need your help, Batman! I heard that you helped Mistah J, and I thought that maybe you could help me too. Either that or I was gonna kidnap that Bruce Wayne guy, because he acts like a nut all the time and no one seems to think he's a dumby."

She jumped up and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close. Batman stood there awkwardly. He didn't hug villains. Even if they were crying.

"What's the problem?"

She looked up at him with big eyes. "Do you think I'm dumb?"

"No."

"But everyone does! They see my blonde hair and my carefree attitude and think I'm a dumb little girl. They don't even think I can climb a tree and rescue a kitty cat."

"So?"

"I don't want them to think I'm dumb anymore. That's why I climbed the tree. I figured I could rescue that cat and everyone would think I was great," she said, flopping back down to the ground. "But all I got was leaves in my hair and dirty. So, I ran in here and told them I wasn't coming out until I talked to you."

"You want me to tell you how to keep them from thinking you're dumb?"

She nodded vigorously, and Batman sighed. "You need to prove to them that you're brilliant. You do have a Ph. D., so I'm sure you can think of something. Show them that you're brilliant, but don't care what they think of you. They can think all they want, but that doesn't make them right. If you want them to respect you, make them."

Harley looked at him with respect in her eyes. "You're so smart, Batman."

She skipped out of the room, apparently done with him. He left, but later wished he hadn't.

Harley Quinn escaped from jail that day, by herself. She developed an evil plan that held Gotham in terror for weeks. Later, it was known as the Harlequin days. No one called her dumb anymore.

Batman was glad his advice had worked, but that didn't justify the means. And why was he giving advice all the time? He was Batman. The Dark Knight. The Caped Crusader. He didn't help people with their daily troubles. He really needed to get to the bottom of this.

My life is sad. I write at least an hour a day, just for fun, and I'm ashamed. My friend caught me writing in school, and I freaked out. I'm worried of what he would think of me, of what I choose to do in my spare time. And that's stupid of me. I really need to get over myself and just put everything out there. And I don't know why I'm putting all of this here, but it's a good place to work out my thoughts. I'm gonna post it anyways, but you can skip all of that.

If you have a question for Batman, I'm running low, so send me a PM!

-Shadow