Hello my beautiful readers! A huge big thank you to everyone that followed, favourite and reviewed! It's very much appreciated and I love hearing from you guys! Big thanks to Emmettluver2010, stordec23 and carterjorja.

So this chapter has moved on a bit, only a small bit, and I've tied in a small part from the actual programme let me know if you want to see more bits like that and I've included a good bit of Hannah and Juice. Next chapter I'm thinking might just be from Juice's point of view.

Disclaimer; I don't own any of Sons of Anarchy, just my own characters.

Enjoy!

Chapter 3

Group sessions.

It had been two weeks since Juice admitted himself to the mental hospital in Berkeley and so far he was…. adjusting. He was slowly becoming accustomed to the hospitals routine, breakfast at nine he was an early riser like Martha and Jim-Jim, his first dose of medicine of the day, then his one on one session with his therapist Doctor Lyons at noon every second day, lunch, group sessions (in which he still hadn't spoken in), dinner, meds, recreation and then bed. Juice loved the routine. The simple and calm routine, it eased his OCD, calmed his mind slightly and just made him relax that bit more. He wasn't on edge all the time waiting for the next unexpected explosion to occur.

His first session with his therapist was very quiet. Juice had learnt his lesson with being a rat. Eventually he started to open up to Doctor Lyons about the 'other' side of his life, whilst changing certain names and illegal activities. Right now, Doctor Lyons knew just about everything there was to know on the build up to the time he tried to take his own life with slightly altered versions of the truth and certain events. He had yet to mention the name of his club, just that he was in a motorcycle club. It didn't take a genius for the Doctor to figure out which club, there wasn't that many around the Berkeley area.

They were making slow process considering Juice didn't speak about himself for the first few sessions opting to instead talk about things he noticed around the hospital and whatever stuff he had seen on the TV. Eventually they had to start getting into the thick of things and Juice was starting to feel a bit lighter, but they were still there. The voices were still in the back of his mind and they often popped up when he least expected them or in group sessions.

Like right now.

Juicy you don't even care! Why are you still sitting here?!

What is this douche bag talking about?

You're so selfish Juicy you're only thinking about yourself, as per usual.

"You're not real. You're not real." Juice whispered quietly whilst sandwiched between Marley, a male patient and Alice a young patient.

Juice always opted to sit in between them because they too like him, mumbled to themselves, only theirs were unintelligible and constant. Juice was just talking to himself. There was currently twelve people sitting in the 'circle.' Six girls and six boys. Right now Jesse the twitchy dude as Juice referred to him, was talking in the circle and Juice had learnt to drown him out after one or two group sessions. Jesse's twitchiness was present in his physical appearance and his voice. He had a serious stammer problem which made him take forever to tell his story, but he was forced as part of his therapy to talk at least twice during group sessions. This was his first time talking in the circle today.

Just another twenty minutes before he tells another story.

Another story you won't listen to again, asshole.

Well at least he's trying, unlike someone we know here.

"Stop, stop, just stop." Juice mumbled rocking back and forth slightly. Marley was muttering furiously beside him and snapping his jaw.

"Thank you Jesse. That was very informative. I didn't know there was such much to electronics of a fridge." Hannah's soft voice carried through the circle while Jesse finished his last word. Jesse blushed and smiled softly at Hannah. He was only young, about twenty two years old, he had admitted himself about six months ago when his stutter and twitching made his anxiety fly through the roof and keep him from leaving his house. He had grown so accustomed to the hospital's routine that he didn't want to leave just yet.

"Juice?" Hannah called down to him as she noticed him mumbling quietly to himself. He didn't think she noticed when he did that but she had been noticing it since day one of group sessions. He thought he was being clever by sitting with Marley and Alice but she saw right through his plan. He was still feeling guilty for talking to himself.

"…Yeah?" Came the timid reply. Juice always seemed to shrink into himself when he was in group sessions. He knew what she was going to ask him to do. She asked every session.

"Feel like sharing today?" Hannah smirked. She knew what he would say 'no not today. Or any day'.

"No, not today." Juice shook his head feeling eyes on him. "Or any day." He whispered to himself.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Hannah sighed and resisted the urge to shake her head. Juice was being very stubborn. She didn't think it was that bad to talk about themselves or anything they wanted to in the circle. Juice obviously thought it was world ending.

"Okay. We'll move on. Anyone else want to share?" Hannah offered to the group. Many people avoided her eye and Juice was one of them. Jesse was gearing up to raise his hand, but Hannah ignored him hoping someone else would want to share. Just as Jesse was about to raise his hand fully Hannah spoke again.

"Alright well why don't I share something today?" There was a few mumbles and heads lifting up. Hannah didn't share often in group sessions unless absolutely necessary.

"Okay, so when I was a kid I used to know this little girl. She was very quiet and kept to herself, but she was always dirty or hungry. Everyone in my school used to laugh at her and bully her, but they didn't know that her mother was unwell and in hospital. That little girl was alone for months until eventually someone called social services. She had to live with taking care of herself, her own thoughts and the demons that her mother left behind. She was ten years old. The only reason I know such much about her is because my family adopted her."

"It took months for her to talk to us, or smile. She constantly hid her clothes and food, in case she wouldn't have any again. She didn't trust any of us for a long time. Until, one day she finally realised that we weren't going anywhere and neither was she. She was the poster child for adoption after that. Except for at night. Just like her mother she had demons. She talked to herself for a long time, because that was all she had to talk to. Herself and the voices in her head. So, when we found out my family thought it was best to try therapy, that didn't work. So the next step was to try a hospital. She was deranged when she was separated from us, but over the course of a year she found her place."

"She found confidence in herself, her demons and the ones her mother left behind had been controlled and of course she had set backs, but for the past six years she hasn't heard a voice in her head that wasn't her own." Hannah finished her story on a positive note, but thinking back through the years it wasn't a positive experience to live and witness. She had picked this story because she knew it would speak to Juice. And she was right. He was watching her intently but she couldn't read his expression.

"Nice story." Juice commented, moving to lean his arms on his knees.

"Thank you, but it just goes to show you guys that you can beat this and you can control your thoughts and mind. All you have to do is try." Hannah smiled brightly trying to lift the mood in the group.

"Right try." Juice smirked at her in a condescending manner. She wasn't sure where this Juice was coming from. From their talks during the week she had gathered Juice was a sensitive guy, despite being in a motorcycle group. But he was open and honest with her and she enjoyed their talks every evening before her shift ended.

"Yes, Juice. All you can do is try your best."

"I have a question about your story." Juice had a wicked grin on his face, something she didn't think Juice could possess.

"Ask away."

"What was the kid's name that your family adopted?"

Hannah knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to touch a nerve with her because she was always touching nerves with him. After a pause of silence Hannah decided not to play his game.

"Ava. Her names Ava." Juice looked a little shocked as he leaned back in his plastic chair. The smirk now completely wiped from his face. Hannah smirked slightly because she knew what he was trying to get at.

Before any more words could be exchanged between the two Jesse spoke up to Hannah's right.

"I-I-I have a-a-a story I-I-I wan-t-t-t to share."

"Go ahead Jesse." Hannah glanced away from Juice towards the young man.

After group sessions were over Hannah watched as Juice sat down at a table of his own to eat dinner. She was aware of the orderlies walking around watching the patients and a few other nurses pottering up and down. It went against protocol to sit with patients while they were eating but many nurses did sit down with the patients to eat their own food.

"Mind if I sit?" Hannah asked Juice holding her own tray of food.

"Sure." Juice mumbled. Hannah sat down across from Juice and began to pick at her peas and broccoli. They ate in silence for a few minutes with the occasional noise from the TV and other patients in the background.

"I'm just going to ask, what happened in group today?"

"What do you mean?" Juice was pretending to play the innocent puppy.

"I mean, the first time you ever speak in group and it's to make me try to look stupid? I've been here a long time Juice, I know most of the tricks."

"….I wasn't trying to make you look stupid."

"Yes you were. You're sick of feeling vulnerable and you're lashing out, I've seen it before. You're not the first patient I'll dealt with." Hannah spoke a matter of factually.

"Yeah well so what if I am? I hate that stupid group. It makes no sense. Why should we have to sit there and swap girly stories about each other? Half of the people in the group are so doped up they can't remember their own names, the other half can barely speak!"

Hannah narrowed her eyes at Juice and pointed her plastic fork at him. "Group is there to remind you you're not alone in your struggle. It's there to help you understand that some people have it worse off than you, it's there so you can see improvements in yourself and others and feel proud."

"More like it shows what I'm going to turn into if I stay here any longer! A drooling mess!" Juice exclaimed loudly causing some of the orderlies to turn in their direction.

Hannah huffed at Juice's response. "If you have an issue with anything you can always talk to your therapist about it. Or say it in group."

"I don't wanna talk in that stupid group."

"It's not stupid, Juice."

"Yeah it is."

"No it's not. It's there to help you." Hannah rolled her eyes at his stubbornness.

"Why do I have to talk all the time?! I talk to Doctor Lyons, I talk to you all the time! I don't need to talk in that stupid group." Juice was sick of talking. He just wanted to be cured.

That's what this place is all about Juicy, you gotta talk about your feelings alllllll the dammmn time!

Betcha didn't think about that didja Juicy? Another idiot mistake.

"Look, I know it takes some time to get used to, but these things are in place to help you. Yeah sure you might not like but you have to do it. Sharing makes people feel better and knowing you're in a safe circle with people with the same issues helps. I promise."

Juice scoffed and shoved his tray back on the table. "Yeah sure whatever." Couldn't even finish your pie Juicy.

"Don't do that, Juice. Don't dismiss it. It does help." Hannah scolded. He was acting like such a child.

"I'm not. I have no choice but to accept it." Juice admitted begrudgingly. If this hospital was teaching him anything it was that he had to accept a lot of things he didn't like. The voice, the meds, the talking, the group sessions.

"So you'll talk more in group now?" Hannah knew she was pushing her luck but God loves a trier.

"….Yeah, no, I don't know. We'll see." Juice couldn't resist the small smile on Hannah's face. She was only trying to help.

"Try, that's all I ask."

"That's all you ever ask." Hannah laughed and pushed Juice's tray back towards him.

"Shut up and finish your pie."

"Where the fuck is Juice?!" Jax slammed his hand down on the reaper table out of frustration. It was his first day out of prison since Tara's death and his parole violation. After setting the club straight about the plan for revenge for Tara's murder, he moved on to the next serious topic. Where the fuck is Juice.

"Dunno boss." Montez was the first to answer earning him a glare from the president.

"We checked his place, everything's clean not a thing out of place. No bike and no cut though. Not answering calls either." Chibs spoke next, lighting up a cigarette beside him.

"Talked to Nero too, he didn't see Juicy at Diosa that night I told him to go. All he seen was Juice on the front cameras for a few minutes then he high tailed it out of there. Hasn't been seen since." Bobby spoke through his wild mane of hair whilst pulling on it.

Jax sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

"…..You don't think… he yano, ran do you?" Tig asked the obvious question in the room. Jax glanced at Chibs to his left. It was quite possible after all the shit they put him through.

"No, I don't know." Jax sighed again and flexed his fingers on the table in front of him. His table. "Juice has been in a rough place these past couple of months. Clay dying could have been the final straw."

"So maybe he just took some time out? Maybe he's tied up with some gash?" Happy spoke from his right. It wouldn't be the first time a brother needed space.

"Yeah, maybe. As of right now, Juice isn't our top priority. There was no sign of a struggle so we're going to assume he took some time out. After all this is dealt with we'll set our sights on him. Agree?" Nods all around the table made Jax feel more comfortable with his decision to bang the gravel in his hand and forget about Juice for the time being.

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