Nothing Else in Our Lives So Critical
Natasha leaves for the mission, and it snows in New York. Pepper steps outside, feels the cold flakes against her cheeks, and wonders if it's snowing where Natasha is, if she's cold. She imagines them in mittens, getting hot chocolate together and having snowball fights with the rest of the Avengers in Central Park. She doesn't notice the tears frozen down her face, but Tony does.
It's Thanksgiving, and Natasha, deep undercover in Czech Republic, pauses for a moment to think of her team, no doubt making a spectacular mess of having dinner together. She thinks of Pepper getting them all sorted out, scavenging the meal, and she wishes she were there. She loves seeing Pepper in her element. She loves Pepper. And with that her stomach churns and she slips more firmly into the role she's been assigned once more.
On the first of December, Pepper runs in to Clint as he's watching another action movie. She sits and watches with him, both of them missing Natasha for different reasons. Finally, as the movie ends, Pepper works up the final piece of nerve she needs to speak.
"Do you think she'll be home by Christmas?" Clint gives her an appraising look before answering. She seems so desperate. He leans forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"I think you need to leave Tony."
Natasha's almost angry that she finishes up her mission on Christmas Eve. She was hoping it would take her until spring at least, but it turned out her target was an idiot in love. So horribly easy to manipulate. That's what love does to you, she repeats to herself as she steps on the plane back to New York. It only makes you weak. But she can't help dreaming of Pepper again when she finally drifts off to sleep.
At three on Christmas morning, Coulson debriefs Agent Romanov. When they finish, Natasha looks up at him.
"You should be at home with Clint."
"And you should get some sleep. Come on." they climb into the car together, and are driven back to Avengers Tower.
It's five am when Natasha slides under the covers in her bed, but she doesn't sleep. She listens, and she longs for those evenings when Pepper would make her something warm to drink and hold her until the sun came up.
Christmas in Avengers Tower, as it's come to be called, begins at noon. Clint slips through the vents to wake Natasha up, and instead of shooting him she gives him a hug and t-shirt she knows he'll never wear that proclaims, in bold letters, "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is."
It's funny because it's true, and they both have a good laugh. This is the third Christmas they've given each other ridiculous t-shirts. It's become Natasha's favorite tradition. The shirt Clint gives her says, "Not a Robot" and has a picture of R2-D2. Afterwards they journey down to the communal living room in their new shirts, where (by some act of god) a fully decorated Christmas tree awaits them. They are the first of the team to arrive, and while Clint jokes about unwrapping all the presents just to spoil the surprise, Natasha grows increasingly nervous. Instead of sitting on the couch with Clint, she stands against the wall opposite the door so she has a clear view. While her body language gives every indication of listening attentively to Clint, he's well aware her mind is on other matters.
Pepper and Tony walk down the hallway together, and Natasha tries to swallow the bile rising in her throat. She knew this would happen, expected nothing else.
When Pepper sees Natasha, leaning against the wall, her entire world brightens.
"Natasha," It's barely a whisper, but it's reverent, and Natasha hears it clearly from across the room. In five short strides, Pepper takes Natasha into her arms, kissing her firmly. When they break apart, Pepper mummers in her ear, "I love you, will you still have me?"
"Of course," Natasha replies the only way she is able, sweeping Pepper into another, deeper kiss. Clint clears his throat. Unsurprisingly, Tony interrupts them.
"Moving on quick there Pep. Mind you, I can't complain, now can I?"
Natasha turns to see Tony smirking. She decides to ignore it, for now, because Clint's flat-out grinning.
"You!" She turns on him, "You knew they broke up and you didn't tell me!" she attacks him, and they spar, Clint giggling like a school girl and Natasha not really angry at all, until they've all collapsed on a heap on the sofa.
It does not take the rest of the team long to find out about Natasha and Pepper, in fact it takes most of them less than five minutes. They all trickle into the living room to open presents, and Coulson's as happy with Clint's t-shirt as he is-he even leans over to snicker in Natasha's ear "It's funny because it's true!" before snogging his boyfriend senseless. Which, of course, set a dangerous precedent, and as a result there is a good bit of oblivious makeouts that morning-Jane with Thor, Natasha with Pepper, Phil with Clint-which inevitably causes Bruce to look a bit embarrassed, Steve to turn all variety of funny colors, and Tony to loudly complain about his lack of kissing partner. Pepper tells him that if he ever let anyone stay for breakfast it might not be an issue, and Tony looks as apologetic as ever.
It is Natasha's favorite Christmas.