A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! And here's the next chapter. Hope you like it.

Chapter One

I'm going home today. Not my home cause I had an apartment before but I'm going home with Boss and that's just as good because he has a big house and it's nice and it's got stairs kind of like my old apartment did but not as many and not outside. His are inside his house and they're different from my apartment but every time I think of stairs I think of the ones outside my apartment. But I don't have an apartment anymore cause I'm going home with Boss and his stairs are on the inside.

When I'm thinking about the outside stairs, my left hand tightens and it hurts but I bite my lip really hard so I don't make a sound. My therapist says that I shouldn't bite my lip because it's going to hurt the day I bite all the way through but I haven't done it yet and I'm pretty sure that I won't cause that would hurt.

I take a deep breath and hold it but it's hard because my lungs are messed up because I had the plague, but I have a hard time remembering those kinds of things because my doctor says it's "traumatic" and my brain will block it out even if I want to remember it which I want to but I can't because my doctor said you can't always control what your brain wants to do.

But I do remember that it was hard to breathe and that there were scary blue lights everywhere and that Kate stayed with me till I could breathe better.

But I don't like talking about Kate cause she's dead and I don't remember going to her funeral.

When I woke up and the first time I remember, Probie, Ziva, Abby and Boss were there and even Ducky, but I couldn't say anything so I didn't know yet that Kate was dead cause I didn't get to ask. Abby started crying though, and that made me scared cause I thought that someone might have gotten hurt and it wasn't till later that I figured out it was me that got hurt.

When I could talk, that's when I asked about Kate. Boss got a weird look in his eyes and Probie couldn't say anything. They told me she had died but I didn't believe them and kept yelling and screaming for Kate and even Boss tried to get me to stop but I couldn't because I didn't believe them.

I don't remember what happened after Boss tried to get me to quiet down because my doctor came in and he gave me a shot and then I woke up later.

Boss and Ducky stayed for awhile but I don't remember a lot about the beginning because I had really bad headaches all the time and the doctor always gave me a shot to make them go away but I always fell asleep so I never found out if the shot worked or not.

"Ready to go Tony?" Gibbs asked from the doorway. Tony was sitting on his bed, leaning slightly to the right, something he did often to try to compensate for the weakness in his left side.

When Tony didn't respond, Gibbs walked over and gently tapped Tony on the shoulder, gaining his attention, "Ready to go Tony?"

"Lights. Yeah Boss," Tony said, his smile a bit lopsided. His words were still muffled and slurred, but according to all the doctors that had seen his initial brain scan the night of the accident, it was a miracle that Tony could communicate much less hold a conversation at all, "I can go up the stairs."

Gibbs figured Tony was talking about the stairs in his house and nodded, "Yeah, I know you can. But let's worry about getting out of here first why don't we?"

Tony glanced around nervously, as if he had forgotten something, "I-uh-I'm going home today? Right Boss?"

"Yeah Tony," Gibbs answered, not even breaking stride. Tony's short term memory had been shot to hell but Gibbs knew that someday it was getting a bit better each day. It was just one of the many things that had changed that night, "I came to take you home remember?"

Tony didn't say anything for awhile. His right hand was playing with his jacket zipper and his right leg was going up-down up-down as he tried to answer Gibbs' question.

"Yes," Tony nodded carefully. Gibbs knew that Tony hated moving his head. Though he didn't get a lot of migraines anymore, Tony was afraid that any movement would trigger another, "Going to the blue room up the stairs in your home. Shots. Up and down."

"Our home Tony," Gibbs corrected gently, ignoring the added words to Tony's sentences. It was just how Tony talked now.

"Our home," Tony parroted, "Mine and yours. Stairs. The stairs are on the inside right?"

"Yep, twelve steps straight up. I had to count them to make sure you could make it up."

"Okay. Up," Tony said, slowly rising to his feet. His right hand left his zipper alone and instead went to touch the scars on his head but was stopped by the helmet, "Oh, blue on when walking right Boss?" Gibbs watched as Tony's fingers traveled to the trach scare instead.

Gibbs gently touched Tony's helmet, "That's right Tony, blue on when you walk. You remembered to put it on."

Although Tony didn't remember remembering to put his blue hockey helmet on, it was on his head and he guessed that he must have put it on cause Gibbs was the first person to come into his room all day.

"Yep. Lights. Shot. Stairs inside."

"Alright then," Gibbs agreed, "Let's get out of here."

Gibbs walked slowly, to match Tony's shuffle-step pace and to keep a hand on Tony's elbow, just in case Tony stumbled, which still happened often. Thus, Tony still wore the blue hockey helmet that Abby had given him to wear till he was steadier on his feet and until the swelling in Tony's still healing brain went down enough to where the doctors could put back the piece of skull they had removed the night of the accident.

"Blue. Is Abby going to be there?" Tony asked as they finally made it to Gibbs' truck. After Tony got in the accident and Gibbs had used the settlement from the car rental company to buy a truck because Tony wouldn't ride in a car anymore, no matter how much he had tried to get him into one. First time they had tried at Fair Oaks, Tony had screamed and grabbed his head. Later that day Gibbs went and bought the dark blue Ford F-150 crew cab truck.

"Yep," Gibbs stood by as Tony maneuvered himself into the backseat. Because of Tony's still healing brain, the doctors had advised that Tony not sit in the front. Tony however, didn't seem to mind and sat on the seat diagonal from Gibbs, behind the passenger seat. Gibbs had a much better view of Tony this way and it was easier to hear Tony's speech from this angle.

"Truck. Blue on. And Ziva?"

"Yep.

"And Probie?"

"Yep."

"And Ducky and Jimmy? Stairs."

"Yes, both of them are coming."

"And Kate?" Tony asked, looking at Gibbs hopefully.

"Tony, remember that we wrote a note in your notebook about Kate?" Gibbs reached over to the empty shotgun seat and pulled out a blue notebook before handing it to Tony.

Tony didn't say anything, instead he grabbed the book and flipped through the pages. When he landed on the heavily visited page, Tony sighed and closed his eyes as they welled up with tears, "Card. Died. I forgot Boss."

"It's okay Tony," Gibbs replied, starting the truck, "How about we get an ice cream before heading home?" Gibbs asked, hoping the treat would help brighten Tony's mood.

"Okay Boss. Stairs," Tony agreed, his eye scrunching up as he concentrated to get the right words out, "But I'm not getting a big one, just in case."

"Tony, you know Abby was just kidding when she said they can freeze your brain? It's an expression."

Tony's eyes betrayed his answer, "Freeze. No thanks Boss. I'll just get a little one."

Gibbs sighed and wished that that fateful night had never happened. The car accident hadn't been Tony's fault. Tony now had a hard time remembering everyday things, had bad short-term memory (though it was getting better) and his memories in the past were often a bit "wacky" as Abby often told Tony. That and the brain damage had affected his balance, coordination, his eyesight and had caused his whole left side to be incredibly weaker than his right side, especially his left hand. But those were just the physical aspects of Tony's injury. The accident had also damaged his cognitive functions.

"Going to you-our home," Tony mumbled from the backseat, "twelve steps, up-down up-down. Stairs."

The OT had said repeating things was one of the ways Tony coped with his memory lost. By repeating facts of something that had been said, Tony was subconsciously hoping that he would remember more of the information. Gibbs had found however, that it had varied results.

"The stairs are inside right Boss?" Tony asked nervously a few minutes later, "And Kate won't be there cause she died right? Card."

"Right Tony, stairs are inside and Kate won't be there," Gibbs answered both questions separately, making sure Tony understood.

"Stairs. Okay," Tony said before settling back in his seat. He often subconsciously tensed his muscles and both the doctor and the therapists had stressed to keep Tony's muscles relaxed. The tension wasn't good for his weaker left side and staying that way for too long could bring on another migraine, or something much worse.

A few minutes later, when Gibbs pulled up in front of a small ice cream shop, Tony looked around, his eyes wide in fear, "You don't live here Boss, right?" His voice held a hint of anxiety. Tony remembered, or at least thought he remembered what Boss' house looked like and this place didn't look like the place he remembered, "Stairs. I forgot Boss, you live here?"

Tony, already accustomed to forgetting a lot of things and to being wrong because he forgot those things, constantly doubted himself now, something that the Gibbs hoped to change.

"No Tony, you were right the first time, I don't live here," Gibbs turned off the truck and turned towards the back seat, "Do you remember, what I said earlier?"

Tony glanced around before closing his eyes tight, as if willfully trying to bring back the lost memory, "Card. Freeze. Shot. Blue. Stairs," Tony opened when eye, "You-you said the stairs were inside and that-that Kate died-I mean that she is dead and won't be at your-um-our home. Blue. Shot. Lights."

Gibbs smiled, "Good job remembering," Gibbs knew he had to treat this carefully. Gibbs had said that and being one of the last things he had said, it was logical that that was the first thing Tony remembered, which Gibbs thought, was good. A few weeks ago, Tony wouldn't have remembered that much, "That's right, I did say that. But do you remember what I said before that? Where were we going before we went to our home?"

"In the truck," Tony blurted out quickly but glanced around, realizing where they were, "But we are in the truck," Gibbs could see Tony reasoning it out, "We were going for a freeze brain? Freeze. Helmet. Fall. Abby. Blue."

Gibbs laughed, "Yep, a freeze brain. How do we get one of those Tony?"

At first, Tony seemed horrified. He didn't know and no amount on concentration could bring up an answer to that question. His eyes darted around, looking outside then to Gibbs, as if his eyes alone held the answer. Gibbs didn't say anything, knowing that Tony would never get any better if everyone continued to coddle him.

Then, Gibbs saw it the moment it happened. Tony was looking outside when his eyes caught on the picture in the window.

"Freeze. Ice cream," Tony whispered, as if remembering was a secret that had to be kept, "We're going for ice cream and I'm getting a small one so I don't hurt my brain more. Ice Cream."

Yes. Gibbs inwardly jumped around and celebrated. Tony had calmed himself down and used details around him to jog his memory like he had done a few times in therapy. Sure, it wasn't solving a high profile case but Tony had just done something that most doctors had said Tony would never be able to do, "That's right Tony. Now come on, I'll get a small ice cream cone too."

Using his good hand, Tony reached over and opened the door, using his right side to pull his weaker left side over. Gibbs closed his own door gently and was halfway around when he heard Tony yelp.

"What happened?" Gibbs asked, hurrying around the truck, momentarily worrying that Tony had fallen.

Tony looked down at himself before looking back at Gibbs, his lop-sided smile on his face, "Freeze. I'm buckled in."

While it might not have been the funniest thing Gibbs had ever seen in his life, when Tony started laughing a few seconds later, Gibbs joined it. It was a blessing after all, just to hear that sound again.

Boss is here today, he's taking me home. Not to my home, cause I had an apartment but to his home. I'm gonna live with him even though he has stairs because I can go up stairs I just have to remember to go really slow because I get ahead of myself and I fall and once I fell really hard and Boss got really scared but I had my helmet on and I was okay because even though I hit my head it didn't hurt that much.

I got in an accident, Abby said when she came and saw me later. I hit my head on the steering wheel cause the car I was using, it wasn't my car Boss said-I was borrowing it from other people- didn't work right and that made me hit my head which caused me to go into a coma. I don't remember that though because Boss said a coma is like sleeping but I don't think it is because when I first remember stuff, I remember I felt really tired all the time and my head hurt so much the doctor had to give me shots to make the hurt go away. Abby said that Boss was really mad when he found out the car didn't work right and she said he made the people that I borrowed the car from pay for all my therapies and stuff like my surgery to fix my head and my braces that I have to wear on my hand when I go to bed and the brace I have to wear on my bad foot when I walk places.

But I'm going home today with Boss and my new room is blue and on the second floor but that's okay because I can go up stairs now.