Chapter 5-Stars
Delphine didn't know how long she'd been watching Cosima sleep; she'd been so wrapped up in her own thoughts. A lot had come to light tonight; they had told each other everything. Delphine had not held anything back from her girlfriend and she felt the same was true of Cosima. She ran a gentle hand over Cosima's exposed shoulder, taking a deep breath. Sleep would not come for her tonight, she knew that.
Cosima had taken everything surprisingly well. Perhaps she had come to terms with the person Delphine was before tonight. Delphine assured her that everything had been absolutely necessary. She'd refused to apologize for any of it and had let Cosima know that she would do it all again if necessary. Cosima seemed to understand that.
Delphine extracted herself from Cosima's embrace, tucking the duvet up under the dreaded woman's chin and planting a soft kiss on her temple before heading downstairs.
She poured herself another glass of wine and took a seat in the main floor's office. The large window peered out in to a silent street, lit intermittently by the glow of the streetlamps and the porch lights some residents left on. She opened her brand new computer, complete with new accounts for everything.
The French woman poured over research, keeping an eye on the time. She eventually brought two bottles of wine in to the office and let herself indulge. The moment 4am rolled around, she sent out a Skype call to Cal who was still in Iceland. To her delight, his face popped up.
"Ah, Delphine! Isn't it" he peered at the clock on his computer "4am there?"
She nodded "I have some urgent business to conduct. Do you think you could help me break in to Susan Duncan's system?"
His eyebrows rose as he sipped his coffee "Hello to you too. Yeah, I'll just umm, grab my gear. Hold on for a moment"
Delphine nodded "Thank you"
Cal got up and left the frame. Delphine ran her hands through her hair and sighed, feeling the emotional and physical exhaustion take over. As she waited, she took the time to finish her current glass of wine and pour another. For some reason, she wasn't feeling the effects of the alcohol the least bit.
Cal walked back in frame, carrying a heavy duty laptop and it snapped Delphine out of her own mind.
"Alright, it looks like Duncan's network is unmanned at the moment. Just sitting behind some police firewalls. She gave up the data" Cal looked up, amazed
"Non! It's not possible she wouldn't…." Delphine whispered.
Cal typed away and looked up at Delphine "I'm in. Where do you want it sent?"
"Can they trace it?" She asked
"No. I'm making a copy and infecting it with a self-destruct. The moment I hit enter, it will delete itself from Duncan's cloud and a copy will be where you want it. You'll need something big…some kind of large amount of storage. An e-mail won't do."
"Hold on" Delphine told him, opening a new browser and heading to her old DYAD cloud. She sent him the information. "Will that do? Can you hide it?'
"Yes, this will work. I'll have to split it and hide it from the main cloud. I can give it self-destruct options so that once you get the data to a local drive, all trace of it will disappear from the cloud. Do you have a hard drive on hand?" he asked.
She rummaged through the drawer of her desk, pulling two out.
"I've got 3 terabytes of storage" she told him
He nodded 'Way more than enough. Okay, I'm going to transfer now. Included in the cloud file will be an encryption program. Download that first and run it. It will hide your machine during the download. Once that is installed and running, then download the content. The moment it is done downloading, uninstall the software."
She nodded "Thank you Cal. I really appreciate this. When are you coming to Toronto?"
"As soon as I get this place sold" he informed her. "And I can buy Sarah and Kira a home. Maybe we'll be neighbours."
She sighed 'I'd like that. It's been… tough. The family is not that fond of me."
He smiled and let out a little laugh "You need an outlaw pal. Cowboys on the outside of it"
She chuckled "I could have used one last night."
"And Cosima, how is she?" he asked.
Delphine dropped her head and shook it "This is for her. The cure…was not what we had hoped."
"You're hoping that you can find another way, with all the information at hand. Smart." Cal noted.
Delphine nodded "Thank you"
"My pleasure, Finny" he told her, using the nickname he'd given her during their stay. He always joked that when it came to Cosima, the moment something was wrong she'd flip around like a fish out of water.
She chuckled "I do not know why I find that nickname so endearing. It will be nice to have you around."
"It will be nice to be there. How's Kira?" he asked
Delphine nodded "She's good. The cousins had a great time last night. They all ended up at Allison's for a sleepover. No doubt they're in sugar comas right now and have Allison scrubbing every surface"
"Good. It's about time they get to be kids" Cal affirmed.
Delphine nodded "Thank you again Cal. I cannot express my gratitude"
"Anything you need. We're family now" he told her. "Be well Delphine and let me know if there's anything else I can do to help."
She nodded "Of course. Have a great day Cal"
"You too and, get some sleep Finny, you've got the bags starting up" he teased.
She smiled "I will. Bye"
He waved and hung up.
Delphine laughed to herself for a moment. Maybe the rest of the family disliked her, but at least she'd have a brother in law on her side. Family he'd told her. She took a deep breath, and then set in to work.
She ignored the sun rise as she looked over document after document, study after study, test after test; searching for any grain of hope.
The door opened and arms wrapped around her neck "Have you been up all night?" Cosima whispered
Delphine nodded "I could not sleep."
"What is this?" she asked, rubbing Delphine's chest as she let her chin rest on the blonde's shoulder.
"Susan Duncan's data. All of it" Delphine told her.
"Woah, Batman! How did you get this?" She asked, letting go of Delphine and kneeling next to her at the desk, getting a closer look at the screen.
"Cal helped. Susan gave it all up to the police" she told Cosima, sitting back in her chair and gently rubbing her own lips with her index finger as her chin sat in the crook of her thumb.
Cosima turned back, wide eyed.
"Don't worry, we took precautions" she informed her.
Cosima took a deep breath "Can we trust it?" she asked, her eyes never leaving the screen. "If she gave it up willingly, there's a good change it's been tampered with"
Delphine nodded, reaching out to play with the back of Cosima's head "That's a chance we're going to have to take. We don't have a choice."
Cosima turned to Delphine, biting her bottom lip. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Delphine's neck. Delphine pulled her in, getting Cosima to sit in her lap. Delphine kissed her face.
"Thank you for last night" Cosima told her, taking her hand and watching her hand play with Delphine's fingers as she laid her head on the blonde's shoulder.
Delphine wrapped an arm around Cosima's waist and watched their hands as well "I think we both needed it"
Cosima nodded and snuggled deeper "I feel so much better about us now, knowing everything. Delphine, I love you so much that it hurts."
Delphine took Cosima's hand in hers firmly "I know how you feel. Il y a des fois quand tu es proche où je te jure que mon coeur éclatera dans des millions de petites étoiles. There are times when you're near where I swear my heart will explode into millions of little stars."
"That sounded like it sounded beautiful" Cosima told her, chuckling.
Delphine smiled "I have a hard time expressing how I feel about you at all, and even though I am used to English now, I barely have the words in French. I could translate but, I feel like it would lose its meaning- its essence."
Cosima smiled "Maybe one day I'll catch on to all of this French speak. I'm starting to."
"Oh yeah?" Delphine asked
Cosima nodded "Like, I know that amour is love and coeur is heart. What are eatwholes?" she asked.
Delphine chuckled "I think you mean étoiles. Those are stars."
Cosima smiled "I like eatwholes better." She took a deep breath and buried her face in Delphine's neck, resting her forehead against it. "I like this, just sitting with you"
"You mean sitting on me?" Delphine teased.
"You're comfy" Cosima complimented. "I might not know what you say in French, but Delphine I feel it." She closed her eyes "I feel it deep in my core"
"Then you know exactly how I feel" Delphine told her.
Cosima nodded and slowly stood up from her super comfy chair. She extended her hand to Delphine "Come. You need to sleep"
"Cosima, I don't think…" Delphine protested.
Cosima took her hand and gently tugged "Just try, please? For me"
"But Charlotte: someone will have to pick her up in a few hours" Delphine noted.
"I'll pick her up. Anyways, do you think that you're in any condition to drive?" she asked, glancing to the empty wine bottle. "Work will be there after a few hours of sleep. I'll look it over in the meantime. And I'll be here and kicking at least until you get up" Cosima joked.
"That is not funny" Delphine told her shaking her head.
Cosima nodded "I know."
Delphine conceded and stood up, letting Cosima lead her upstairs to their room. She sat on the edge of her side of the bed and let Cosima gently undress her to her boyshorts. Cosima crawled in bed herself, wrapping herself around Delphine.
"It's your turn to be little spoon for once" she directed Delphine.
Delphine nodded and felt Cosima wrap her hand onto her belly. Delphine put her hand on top of it. She started drifting off immediately in the safety of Cosima's arms, her mind winding down. She could feel Cosima's heart beating against her back softly. Her mind drifted with her body, thinking about the hand over her stomach and how one day, it would be resting over a small bump that would grow with the life inside of her. She had an idea, a stroke of brilliance, asking herself why she hadn't thought of it before. Just as she told herself to get up, her body rebelled and carried her off to sleep.
Cosima snuggled with her until her clone phone vibrated. She rolled over and checked it.
It was a text from Allison: The kids are up and I'm making breakfast. Do you and Delphine want to join us?
Cosima texted back: She just got to sleep. It was a bit of a rough night but I'll be there in 30 minutes.
Cosima got up, causing Delphine to whimper and reach for her in her sleep. Cosima smiled and walked over to her, kissing her hair.
"I'm going to get Charlotte. I'll be back soon. You should sleep" she whispered to the blonde woman.
Delphine just nodded and curled back up. Cosima busied herself with getting dressed, just pulling on a pair of sweats and an oversized sweater. She then wrote Delphine a note, leaving it along with two Tylenol and a glass of water on her bedside table before heading out to the car.
Charlotte was sitting next to her cousins, who were all playing Lego avengers on the Xbox, waiting for Allison to be finished with breakfast.
"You're so lucky you get to live with Auntie Cosima. She's so cool. Are Cosima and Delphine your mommies?" Gemma asked.
Oscar bumped her.
"What? I Gertie in my class has two mommies." Gemma clarified.
Charlotte bit her lip and shook her head "Cosima's my sister."
"But then how are you our cousin?" Oscar asked.
"I'm not. I'm your aunt, but I don't like it. I'd rather be your cousin" she told him
He accepted that answer and turned back to the game.
"Gemma, be careful!" Kira warned, pointing on the screen just in time for the younger girl to avoid one of the villains. Kira then leaned to Charlotte "Don't worry. I know that Cosima wishes she was your mom as much as you do" she told her.
"She does?" Charlotte asked.
Kira nodded.
"How do you know?" Charlotte wondered.
"I just do. I feel things from my mom and my aunties. From you too" Kira informed her "It's okay, I won't tell. I just thought you should know."
"What about Delphine?" Charlotte asked.
Kira shrugged, looking back to the screen "I can't feel her. All I know is that Cosima loves her very very very much. Almost as much as she loves you."
Charlotte smiled as Gemma turned to them "You're whispering secrets."
"No we're not" Charlotte countered.
"Come on, I want to know" Gemma demanded, hitting the pause button.
"We were talking about how Charlotte and I want to play soccer" Kira covered.
"Really? But Charlotte's leg" Oscar intervened.
Charlotte shrugged "If Delphine can cure Cosima, then she should be able to help with my leg."
"Oh yay! That would be so much fun!" Gemma excitedly shouted.
Charlotte turned to Kira and smiled.
"Kids, pancakes!" Allison called downstairs.
"My mommy makes the best chocolate chip pancakes! Come on!" Oscar told the others as him and his sister got to their feet and raced upstairs.
Kira and Charlotte stood up and Charlotte turned to Kira "I think that you're my best friend"
Kira smiled "I think you're mine"
They climbed the steps hand in hand "Are you really gonna go to the University?" Kira asked.
Charlotte nodded "I'm majoring in Geology"
"What's that?" Kira asked.
"The study of rocks" Charlotte told her as they sat down.
"Could you teach me some time?" Kira wondered.
Charlotte nodded "Sure."
"You should come to Bailey-Downs" Oscar told her from his spot at the table. "It would be nice to have another friend"
"I'm going there next month" Kira told him as her and Charlotte sat down as well, joining Oscar and Gemma.
"Maybe I could go too" Charlotte told them.
"What grade would you be in?" Gemma asked.
"I don't know." She confessed. She had never been in a school where she was part of the grade system.
"Well, you're 8 like me and Kira. So you'd probably be in Grade 3."
Gemma pouted "I'm only in grade 1"
"Yeah but you get the fun play equipment still" Oscar consoled her "and you have lots of friends at school"
Allison started serving them their pancakes, in the shapes of their names. She even used a different coloured batter for each letter. She then placed little ramekins of syrup next to each of them.
"There. Perfect for little hands. And remember, sticky hands get washed as soon as you're done" she instructed.
Charlotte giggled as she looked at her pancakes "Thank you Allison. This is so cool"
Allison smiled wide and stopped to look Charlotte in the eye "Why thank you Charlotte. You, young lady have impeccable manners."
Charlotte beamed as there was a knock at the door. Allison opened it, revealing a smiling Cosima.
"You have the most perfect timing. We were just about to get started" Allison told her, holding the frying pan away from their bodies as she hugged her sister.
"Auntie Cosima!" All the kids got to their feet and rushed towards her.
Cosima chuckled and gave them each a hug, each kid talking over the other, trying to tell her all the cool things they'd done. When she got to Charlotte, she stooped down and looked her in the eye, taking her hands.
"How about you? Did you have a good time?" Cosima asked her.
Charlotte nodded "We slept in a blanket fort"
Cosima chuckled "I'm sure your…" she stopped herself from saying auntie "I'm sure Allison really appreciated that"
Charlotte giggled.
Allison butted in "Actually I didn't mind. Charlotte made sure they cleaned it up." She then plated pancakes for the four grown-ups, even though it would be a while before Helena and Donnie woke up.
"Nice one, Char. Way to get on her good side" she praised, patting Charlotte's shoulder. "Go finish your breakfast there, mini me."
Charlotte nodded and went back to the table.
"Well now we see who the cool aunt is" Allison enviously teased.
Cosima chuckled and plopped down at the island in front of a mass of pancakes "We all know its Helena. They just like me because I'm the big, mysterious lesbian"
"Do not say that word in my house. It sounds so dirty"
"Lezzzbian" Cosima purred, giggling.
"Cosima" Allison chastised.
Cosima chuckled, taking a bite of her breakfast.
"So, how was last night with…" Allison asked, taking a seat next to her. The kitchen was already clean and the pancakes were all neatly stacked on a plate.
"You can say her name, its okay. She's not like Voldemort or something" Cosima informed Allison
"Volde-who? Anyways, it doesn't matter. You said last night was rough?" Allison asked. "Did she…?"
"What?" Cosima asked confused, all of a sudden, clueing in to what Allison meant. "Oh, god no, Ally. We just talked. I learned a lot last night. That's not to say that I'd mind if she did…I mean if it was consensual of course"
Allison turned bright red and didn't make eye contact.
"Come on, you can't tell me you and Donnie have never done that" Cosima said, bumping elbows with her sister.
"We have and that's all I'm going to say about it" Allison spoke quickly as she carefully buttered her top pancake with some form of yuppie low fat coconut oil.
"Allison, the dominatrix" Cosima teased. "I can totally see that. I bet he loves it"
Allison turned an even deeper shade of red.
"Well no, we umm, haven't yet. Not since…before" Cosima admitted. "I wasn't ready but, I think I finally might be"
"Yeah, and that's something that's good. Yes. That's good. I'm happy for you" Allison tried to convince herself.
Cosima sighed "You know she's a very kind and generous person, Ally. She's different than you all see her"
Allison nodded "I guess, but I can't seem to get passed the cold hard B that she was to you. And I don't know how you can either."
"We talked about it all. She went back, Allison. She went back for Charlotte and Rachel and Sarah" Cosima reminded her.
"And why did she do that?" Allison's head snapped to Cosima. The kids went quiet, turning their attention to them. Allison smiled at them "Sorry. Go ahead, eat your breakfast children." They listened and Allison lowered her voice again. "Why would she go back for Rachel? The biggest B of them all. Do I need to remind you that she stabbed Sarah and wants us all dead."
"Because she's one of us, Allison, whether we like it or not." Cosima took a deep breath "Look, I made her promise me that she would love all of us the same. The things she did, Allison…she did some hard things to keep us safe. I know that now. And we made her job impossible. She's devoted her life to making sure that we're happy and safe. I can't fault that"
Allison nodded and took a chaste bite of her own breakfast, chewing thoroughly before swallowing "Ok, ok Cosima. Maybe I'm being unfair. I really care about you and Charlotte. She's a great girl."
"I know Ally. You and Delphine have the same motives; just trust me on this one. And maybe cut her some slack? She was pretty upset about last night"
"About what? We were nothing but gracious and kind to her" Allison asked, cutting up her pancakes viciously now.
Cosima raised her eyebrows "You were gracious and kind about our announcement?" she asked, and then put some pancakes in her mouth "I'm just saying, she was hurt. She put a lot of work in to last night and you all kind of treated her like she was the devil. Even for those couple minutes. It cut deep"
Allison put down her utensils and nodded "You're right. I've been feeling bad about that all night. It was just really unexpected."
"Our life has been a series of unexpected events, but I won't apologize for my heart. I want her to be my wife. And I want you all on board with that. We're a family, and she's part of that" Cosima explained.
Allison rubbed her forehead "Okay. You know what? How about the three of you join us for dinner and a movie here Wednesday night?" Allison turned to Cosima "I want to make it up to her."
Cosima hugged Allison "Thank you"
Allison rubbed her back "It's the least I can do. Besides, I think the kids get along"
Cosima looked over at the table to see the kids spelling out and laughing at the nonsense word their left over pancakes made, each trying to pronounce it and erupting in giggles.
"I think you're right" she told Allison.
Cosima took the last bite of her pancakes and stretched in the chair "We should get home. Delphine got her hands on Susan Duncan's data and I promised I'd go over it. Also, I'm on kitchen clean up after last night"
"Oh, give me a second" she said, getting up and stooping to grab something from under the sink. She came back, handing Cosima a dollar store spray bottle full of a clear liquid with a beautifully pinterest-like label on it that read 'Ally's Magic'.
Cosima looked at Allison confused.
"It's my own recipe. Non-toxic and chemical free. Completely biodegradable. But most importantly it works like magic. Use it on anything and everything: grass stains, counters, stuck on grease, burnt pans. A little goes a long way."
Cosima chuckled "How very housewife of you" she teased then leaned in, giving her another hug "Thanks Ally, I'm sure it'll help"
"I just want us all to be happy and safe" Allison told her. "And no one is happy about cleaning stuck on grease, especially when it's left to stew overnight."
Cosima laughed and she stood up "Thanks for breakfast too. Stellar cakes of the pan!"
Allison smiled "Any time. I love making breakfast. I'm pretty sure it's what Donnie stuck around"
"You sure that it wasn't the latex cat suit?" Cosima teased, just in time to see Allison go red again before she turned to the kids. "Alright, rock girl, ready to head home?" Cosima asked Charlotte.
Charlotte nodded. Cosima turned her head to look at the word they'd spelt.
"It says ralaeo" Kira told her.
"No, it's Leoara!" Oscar argued.
"Hold on guys, I've got this" Cosima told them, taking over and rearranging the letters.
Charlotte instantly started to chuckle and then Cosima bumped her. "Wait, before I finish, let me get my niece and nephew good byes" she cleverly told them.
They each gave her a hug and then she put the last few letters in place, grabbing Charlotte's bag. All of the kids started trying to pronounce the word she'd spelled out. She'd gotten out the door when she heard:
"Mommy, what's an areola?" from Gemma.
"COSIMA!" Allison yelled after her.
Her and Charlotte giggled as they got in the car.
"Go, go, go!" Cosima urged, getting in and buckling up.
Allison peeked her head out of the door and started walking out, waving a wooden spoon.
"You buckled up?" Cosima asked.
"Yup. Go Cosima!" Charlotte urged.
Cosima pulled out of the driveway as Allison had stepped off the porch. She drove away.
"Bitch!" Allison expressed before heading back in to the house.
Cosima drove, laughing and coughing.
"Why is she so mad about the name of a body part?" Charlotte asked.
Cosima caught the blood on the sleeve of her shirt and wiped her mouth as she turned on to the main street.
"Some people are weird like that" she told the girl.
Charlotte shrugged "Kira's my best friend now" she told her sister.
"Yeah? That's good. I'm glad you had fun" she told her, coughing again into her elbow.
"Are you okay?" Charlotte asked, concerned.
Cosima nodded "Umm…yeah." She told the girl "Must just be a cold"
Charlotte accepted that and looked out the window "Can I go to Bailey-Downs with my cousins?" she asked.
"I thought you wanted to go to the University with me?" she asked.
"I do, but everyone at University is going to be old" Charlotte noted.
Cosima chuckled "Hey!" the coughing started again.
"You know what I mean. There aren't going to be any kids. Besides, I've never been to a real school before" she admitted, sadly.
"That's because you're wicked smart. Don't you think you'd be bored? The worst thing for your education is to get bored" Cosima informed her "Trust me"
"I could keep doing my degree online and just do that work in the normal classes, while the other kids do their work. Then I could go to recess with them and gym class and have lunch like a regular kid. And maybe if…if Delphine can fix my leg…maybe I can play soccer for Auntie…for Allison's team. Or figure skate." Charlotte suggested.
Cosima nodded "I think it's a great idea. We'll talk about it as a family and see what we can do, okay?"
Charlotte nodded and smiled "Thank you"
"Of course…" Cosima stopped to cough, noticing that her sleeve was quickly covering in blood. She focused on getting home.
Charlotte stayed silent the rest of the ride.
Cosima felt herself get lightheaded a few blocks from home. She pulled over immediately.
"Why are we stopping?" Charlotte asked.
"I just need some…" Cosima stepped out of the car, seeing double "…fresh…air." Cosima stumbled, clinging to the side of the car. She fumbled with her phone, getting it in her hand as she felt the blood drip from her face. "Charlotte, call Delphine" she managed to choke out as her body went limp and the world went dark.
Charlotte felt everything in her panic. She rushed to Cosima's side and saw the blood.
"Cosima! Cosima!" she screamed, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.
A neighbour came over as Charlotte felt for a pulse.
"Are you alright, little girl?" she asked, before seeing Cosima "Oh good God! Im gonna go call 911"
"Go tell Del…my mom! Go tell my mom. We live two blocks down. 248 Lippincott." Charlotte told the woman.
When she didn't feel a pulse on Cosima's neck so she wiped the blood away from her nose and put a hand there, trying to feel for breathing. There was nothing. With her arms covered in her sister's blood, she turned Cosima on to her back. She knew what to do. She'd been certified since she was four. She started chest compressions.
"Tell the dispatcher that she's unresponsive and doesn't have a pulse; suspected heart attack. They'll get here faster." Charlotte told her.
The woman looked at her, horrified and nodded, running down the block as she dialed 911. Charlotte turned her attention to Cosima, refusing to let the tears fall. She had to stay strong. She had to keep pushing down. It took all of her weight to get her sister's chest compressed enough to be worthwhile.
Delphine had been in the office, looking over the data when she saw a woman running towards the house. She recognized this woman from her morning runs. She got up and ran to the door, swinging it open.
"Yes. 166 Borden. Hurry. She's not breathing" the woman spoke to the phone.
Delphine's eyes went wide and she was already putting her shoes on. The woman hung up and looked at her.
"Your daughter sent me" the woman told her, out of breath. "There's a woman, bleeding. She's not breathing. The kid started doing CPR"
Delphine forgot about her other shoe and took off running. She knew where the woman lived. She sprinted as fast as she could towards the address, shoving people out of her way. When she got there she saw Charlotte, blood up to her elbows, doing chest compressions on a completely still Cosima. A crowd had gathered. She felt the horror rise inside of her as she moved as quickly as her body would allow, sliding in next to Charlotte.
"I've got it now, let go Charlotte. It's okay" she instructed.
Charlotte let go, curling up next to Delphine as she took over CPR. She could feel Delphine shake and could hear her losing control as she sobbed.
"No. You're not allowed to leave me. Come on Cosima! Charlotte, how long?" she aked.
"13 rounds of compressions. She just…she pulled over and got out and…I'm sorry. I should have…" Charlotte finally let the tears fall, gripping Delphine's waist.
Delphine never wavered from her compressions "It's not your fault. She is not going to die. You're going to be okay, Cosima. Reviens à moi, mon amour. J'ai besoin de tes étoiles. S'il vous plait, Cosima. Mon ciel serais si foncée sans vos étoiles. Comeback to me, my love. I need your stars. Please, Cosima. My sky would be so dark without your stars."
Delphine kept compressing and talking to Cosima until the paramedics arrived and took over. The moment the woman's hands were covering hers, she let go. The world flooded back to her.
"She's been unresponsive for 10 minutes. No pulse, no signs of breathing. She has a rare cancer that has taken over her lungs" Delphine told them, wiping her face with the back of her wrist before wrapping both of her arms around the crying girl at her side.
"Does she have a DNR?" the paramedic asked.
Delphine felt something in her snap "No, she doesn't have a fucking DNR you piece of shit!" she spat, her face turning bright red as she physically spat out the words, saliva spraying in her anger "If you do not try to resuscitate her, I will gut you where you stand"
She was shaking and sobbing by this time, staring at Cosima's face. She watched the paleness set in and rubbed Charlotte's back, clinging to the girl as much for herself as for Charlotte. She stared as they jump started Cosima's heart, whispering under her breath, praying the woman would return to her. Her eyes clung to the ECG monitor, every moment dependent on a certain pattern of waves appearing. She saw the whole life she'd imagined with Cosima flash in front of her. There would be no laughing children, there would be no wedding, there would be no making love under the stars, there would be no large family Christmases, there would be nothing. She held Charlotte a little tighter, clasping a hand over her mouth as she felt her entire world crumble.
Time froze still as she watched them try to shock Cosima back to life. She watched as the body that once contained the love of her life jump as the electricity ran through it. She sobbed as her entire body revolted against the horror. She made sure to hold Charlotte to her chest, not letting her see what was happening as she turned her head to the side to vomit. Everything in her wanted out of this situation.
Charlotte shut her eyes tightly, burying herself into Delphine. She didn't want to see. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to cry. She started mentally listing off every type of rock and mineral she could think of. Obsidian, granite, quartz, pumice…
Delphine tried to remember to breathe. Her breath kept getting caught in her throat. She couldn't get it down, she couldn't get it up. She mentally scolded herself for all that time away from Cosima. All that time she didn't just say fuck it and run back to Cosima. All that wasted time. She could not take her eyes off Cosima's face, just praying that the girl would make the smallest movement.
Then, it was there. Cosima took in a deep breath and was swarmed by paramedics. Delphine kissed Charlotte's head and gently got out from her grip. She joined the paramedics.
"I'm a doctor, let me through" she told them. "Somebody get me a cannula." She held Cosima's face "It's alright. I'm here Cosima." She held back her tears and took the plastic tubing she was handed. She fit the pieces inside of her girlfriend's nose and felt her pulse, a hand on her chest to feel her breathing. She nodded and looked to the paramedics "Toronto General?" she asked.
One of the paramedics nodded as they put her on a stretcher. Delphine held out her hand for Charlotte and the girl immediately took it. She got them both in the ambulance. The moment Cosima was in, Delphine took her hand, wrapping her free one around Charlotte.
"You did such a good job, Charlotte. Can I kiss you?" Delphine asked.
Charlotte nodded and Delphine showered her face with kisses, holding her tightly. "You saved her life. Do you know that?"
Charlotte nodded "Is she gonna be okay?" Her eyes, glued to the pasty faced Cosima.
Delphine sniffled "I'm not sure, but the doctors are going to take good care of her."
"I guess the cure didn't work" she noticed, sadly.
Delphine pulled back the girl's long, loose hair. "No, mon petit, it didn't."
"That means I'm still sick too" she noted.
Delphine hugged her "I'm going to find a way to cure you both."
The paramedic gave them a look, confused. Delphine shot him daggers. He looked away.
They finally got to the hospital and Delphine and Charlotte got out. Cosima was rushed in to the ER. They were told to wait in the waiting room. Delphine never let go of Charlotte. She pulled out her cell phone and called Felix.
"Delphine? Did I forget something last night?" he asked.
"Félix, I need you to go to the house and grab my medical bag out of the den. It's black.. umm…black…cuir…black leather! And has my initials carved in the handle. And lock up, please?" Delphine pleaded through tears.
"What happened?" he asked, immediately changing his tone. He was already grabbing keys off the table and slipping out of his flat.
"I had to..I had to run out. It's Cosima. Call the family? She's at Toronto Gen."
"Is she okay?" he asked.
Delphine sobbed "Félix, it is bad."
"Shit" Felix exclaimed "Okay. Don't worry about a thing, uncle Felix has you covered. Just take care of Charlotte. Is she with you?"
"Yes" Delphine answered.
"I'm on my way" Felix told her.
"Thank you" Delphine told him
"Don't mention it" he responded.
"Okay. Bye" Delphine choked out.
"Bye" Felix answered.
They both hung up. Delphine could still feel Charlotte sobbing against her side. She rubbed her back.
"Do you want me to carry you?" Delphine asked, wiping her own tears.
Charlotte nodded and reached up. Delphine picked the girl up and put her on a hip, letting Charlotte wrap her arms around her neck. Delphine carried her in to the ER waiting room and took a seat, sitting Charlotte on her lap. She couldn't help but remember just hours earlier when Cosima cuddled up in her lap. A much larger version than the current clone snuggled in to her, but Delphine took the comfort of having Charlotte nearby. She held her tightly.
"We're going to make it through this together" Delphine whispered to her.
"If…if she doesn't…who will I live with?" Charlotte asked. It had been on her mind.
"With me. Charlotte, je serais toujours ici pour toi. Tu es ma famille. D'accord? Charlotte, I'll always be here for you. You're my family. Okay?"
Charlotte nodded and curled back in. Delphine rocked her. Eventually, the crying had exhausted her and she'd fallen asleep. Delphine waited. She looked at the clock. It had been 45 minutes and she'd heard nothing. She stood up, carrying the sleeping girl on her hip. She walked to reception.
"I'm here with Cosima Neihaus, I've been waiting and I haven't heard anything" she told the receptionist.
"Are you family?" she asked.
"She is my girlfriend. We live together" Delphine explained.
The receptionist popped her gum "No info unless you're family."
Delphine's nostrils flared as she watched the receptionist pop her gum again, giving her that apathetic look. She played over a million ways to kill this woman in her head. She felt the anger flare up, and then heard Charlotte sigh in her sleep. It snapped her out of it. She turned and went to sit down again.
Fifteen minutes later, Sarah came through the doors with Felix, Mrs. S, and Kira. They ran towards her.
"How is she?" Sarah demanded.
Delphine swallowed hard, biting her lips into her mouth and shook her head "I do not know. They won't tell me anything. I'm not family" she explained.
"Yeah, well I am" Sarah barked, marching up to the receptionist.
Mrs. S. put a hand on Delphine's shoulder. Felix handed her a set of keys and put her bag down next to her.
"All locked up. You know, the key on the doorframe trick is too easy. You should get a gnome or something. Your neighbour lady gave me the car keys, car's all parked." He said with the usual venom in his voice, and then his tone softened "I picked up these three on their way to your place. Our little madam Zostra picked up on the Cosima Charlotte vibes."
"Thank you Felix" Delphine told him earnestly.
He sat next to her. Kira gave Delphine a big hug "Charlotte's so scared" she noted, looking to her best friend.
Delphine nodded "She saved Cosima's life. Started CPR a good time before I arrived. She sent someone to get me and called the ambulance and…she's terrified I'm going to leave her"
Mrs. S. rubbed Delphine's shoulders "She'll be okay, luv. She's a smart girl."
Sarah walked over, a hand on her head. "She's in recovery right now. They say she's got a couple cuts and bruises, a mild concussion. But she's goinna be alright."
Delphine felt the tears pour in relief and she gasped for breath through them, sobbing deeper than she had yet. Sarah hugged her.
"She's gonna be alright, Delphine" Sarah repeated.
Delphine nodded, sobbing in to Sarah's shoulder before pulling away. "Can I see her?" she asked.
Sarah nodded "They said only 3 at a time though, so…sorry guys" she told Felix, Kira, and Mrs. S.
They nodded. Delphine turned to them "I'll make sure you all get to see her soon" she explained.
Felix nodded "Go get your girl" he told her.
Delphine smiled "Thank you, all of you." She stooped and picked up her bag, making sure she had a good grip on Charlotte as she stood.
They all nodded as Sarah motioned towards the doors "Come on"
A nurse was waiting and walked them to the room.
Delphine will never forget walking through that wing. Every room they passed, she expected to see Cosima. When she finally rounded that corner and saw her, she felt her heart ignite. She rushed towards her.
"Cosima" she whispered.
Cosima smiled weakly, then saw Charlotte, covered in blood "Is she okay?" she asked, her voice cracking.
Delphine nodded and leaned in, giving Cosima's cracked, dry lips a firm kiss. One of Cosima's hands went to Charlotte's back, the other around Delphine.
"I thought I'd lost you" Delphine cried, breaking their kiss. She hugged Cosima.
"I'm okay. I'm right here, Delphine" she whispered back, reassuring.
Cosima looked up at Sarah and mouthed a thank you. Sarah nodded.
"I'll give you two some time. Let me know when you're up for visitors" she said.
Cosima let go of Delphine briefly and waved Sarah over. "Come here"
Sarah sighed and rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide the tears that were falling as she walked over. Cosima wrapped her in a hug.
"I love you, Sarah" Cosima admitted.
"Yeah I love you too…geek" Sarah responded.
Cosima chuckled and rubbed Sarah's back before she pulled away. Sarah nodded and left the room. Delphine took a firm hold of Cosima's hand, stooping her head to kiss it.
"I thought I lost you. Oh mon Dieu, I can't believe I almost…you almost…" Delphine's eyes filled with tears as she stumbled over words.
Cosima pulled her in to a hug "I know. I'm sorry" she whispered. Cosima coughed a few times, grabbing the tissues she had been brought and put one to her mouth.
Delphine rubbed her back. "The stem cell treatment helped with the symptoms, non?" she asked
Cosima nodded "For the 10 days, yeah"
"I know it's not a cure but…if it helps" Delphine suggested, wiping away her tears.
"Please?" Cosima pleaded.
"Can I put her in bed with you?" Delphine asked
Cosima nodded and shifted over, lifting a tired arm. Delphine gently eased Charlotte down , letting her head rest on Cosima. Cosima shook her head.
"Not there" she whimpered.
"Sorry" Delphine apologized, moving Charlotte's head off of Cosima's chest, to her arm.
Cosima coughed hard. Delphine kept a hand on her stomach as she bent over to reach in to her bag. She pulled out a vial and turned to Cosima. She leaned in close and rubbed Cosima's arm.
"I'm going to go find your doctor and let him know I am going to give you a dose of this" she told her. "Will you be okay with her?" Delphine asked.
Cosima nodded "Wait a minute though" she whispered with a rough voice. "Sit with me a little longer" she asked.
Delphine nodded and sat next to Cosima, lowering the railing of the reached out and grabbed Cosima's face in her hands, pulling her girlfriend's forehead to her, gently touching them as they both closed their eyes. They sat like that for a couple minutes. Cosima rubbed Delphine's forearm gently.
"Will you marry me?" Cosima asked, opening her eyes.
Delphine's own eyes shot open to look up at her. She didn't even hesitate "Oui. A million times yes. Mon Dieu, yes." She smiled, closing her eyes again.
"Well I guess we're engaged" Cosima coughed out.
Delphine nodded, leaning in to kiss the corner of her mouth as she coughed.
"Did I crash the car?" Cosima asked, not remembering anything passed driving.
Delphine shook her head "You pulled over two blocks from our house. Charlotte performed CPR and sent a neighbour to call 911 and get me" she explained.
"Way to go, kid" Cosima whispered, brushing back the girl's hair with a hand.
Delphine smiled and nodded "I think someone earned a day full of ice cream for that one"
Cosima nodded. "She wants to go to school with her cousins. Start back with online courses. Do them in class" she relayed, just in case.
"I think that's a great idea" Delphine told her.
Cosima was about to nod, but instead coughed. Delphine held the Kleenex for her. "I think I'm ready for that doctor now" Cosima confessed.
Delphine nodded and kissed her forehead, disposing of the Kleenex. "The family is also here to see you. Want me to send them in?" Delphine asked.
"Yeah, sure. I bet they're worried sick. I wouldn't want Allison to have a literal cow" Cosima joked.
Delphine smiled and ran back to her, kissing her deeply "Thank you for coming back"
Cosima nodded "For you, it was easy"
Delphine kissed her again, and then left the room to find the doctor.
Delphine walked in with the doctor and Kira, who ran up and hugged her aunt. Cosima hugged her back, rubbing her shoulder. The doctor grabbed her chart and looked it over, then nodded to Delphine, whispering to her.
"I knew you'd be okay" Kira told her.
"I'm happy you have" she paused, coughing "such confidence in me" she finished, spitting the blood into the dish she'd been given.
"Cosima, Dr. Fawkner here has approved your dose of treatment" Delphine informed her.
"Thank you Dr." Cosima whispered.
He just nodded and left, acting like he had better things to do with his life.
"ER doctors are always so grumpy. Never enough sleep" Delphine told her, sitting back down.
"He was grumpy" Kira confirmed "Are you going to be okay for good Auntie Cosima?"
Cosima shrugged and extended her arm for Delphine as she saw her girlfriend prepping in the corner of the room. "I don't know, but I'm okay right now."
Kira nodded. "When can you go home?"
Delphine put her prepping down and grabbed the chart at the end of Cosima's bed, looking it over.
"They're just waiting for labs and your CT to come back. Probably to rule out a brain hemorrhage. Probably another 30 minutes and we should be able to get out of here" Delphine informed them.
"Thank god, I hate hospitals" Cosima sighed.
Delphine got back to her work and drew up the dose.
"Kira, distract me? I hate this part. What happened after I left today?" Cosima asked.
"Auntie Allison got so mad at that word you spelled with the pancakes. Gemma kept asking what it meant and she kept getting so mad and telling her that it was inappropriate but Oscar asked why you would write something inappropriate. So then I told them that we could look it up. It's just the dark circle around nipples. What's so bad about that? So then Gemma and Oscar said that their Mum might be a little coo-coo coconuts."
"Did you spell areola with pancakes this morning?" Delphine asked
Cosima shrugged "Maybe" she replied, trying to not giggle. "I had to, the letters were staring right at me. And they had them arranged to spell like, leoara or something like that"
Delphine chuckled and shook her head as she pulled the needle out of Cosima's arm. "You're such a trouble maker."
Kira giggled.
Cosima turned to Charlotte, then back to her niece "Did you guys sleep last night?"
"Yeah. For like an hour. We had a lot of fun" she admitted.
Cosima nodded "She'll be out for a while."
Delphine turned to Kira "How about we have everyone come see Cosima now?"
Kira nodded and Delphine stood, going to take Charlotte from Cosima. Cosima shook her head.
"I want her close" Cosima pleaded to Delphine with her eyes as well as her words.
Delphine nodded and dropped a kiss to her forehead "I'll talk to the nurses. Get everything ready. We'll get you home"
"Thank you" Cosima acknowledged.
Delphine walked out with Kira. Allison had arrived with the gang and Scott was there too. The moment Delphine saw Scott, her mind jogged back to that morning, right before she'd fallen asleep. She sent Gemma and Allison in, and then pulled Scott aside.
"What is it?" he asked
"I need your help. Do you have a lab?" she asked.
He nodded "Yeah. I've just been on a bit of a vacation, or more of a staycation." He told her "It's a really cool space. Excellent for a D&D play-a-thon"
"Well you might have to pause that. I need you to do something for me…today."
"Yeah, sure. I umm, already called today off. Which genome can I sequence for you?" he asked.
Delphine gulped. She was unsure of this. She knew she should talk it over with Cosima, but she was hardly in any shape to make difficult decisions. Besides, this was the most viable path to the cure that Delphine saw.
"I need you to get me pregnant" she told him.
His eyes went wide and he got instantly hard and crossed his hands over his crotch to try and conceal it "Woah! Umm..I don't…umm…okay"
She rolled her eyes. Men!
"No, that's not what I meant." She took a deep breath "Cosima's best chance is with stem cells. The ones from the zygote were probably easily fought off by the antibodies in her system. That's why it worked for a little to clear up the symptoms and delay the spreading. We can keep that up and delay the spread, but it is not a cure. What we need is umbilical cord blood" Delphine explained.
Scott came in to realization "You want me to clone her and implant the clone embryo in you?" he asked.
Delphine shook her head "Precisely. I'll carry the child to term, and we can use the umbilical cord to develop a cure for all the clones."
Scott was amazed "Even for the child herself. Delphine, that's brilliant! And Cosima's okay with this?"
"She can't know, Scott. I'll tell her once it is done" Delphine told him. "She would never agree but her life depends on it. All of their lives depend on it"
He nodded "I'll head straight to the lab from here"
"Good. I'll get them home, get them settled, and then I will meet you in the lab. The data is too sensitive to send online. And I'll come with…with a sample"
He nodded and as Allison and Gemma came out. Once everyone had been in, Delphine had told them that she would keep them updated and asked Scott to bring the car around. She told him that they'd give him a ride. She tossed him the keys, and then headed to Cosima's room. She picked Charlotte up and got Cosima into a wheelchair, despite her protests.
Delphine put Charlotte in her lap and wheeled them both out the front door.
Charlotte woke up with a groan and squinted her eyes open. She was in Cosima and Delphine's room. She looked over and saw Cosima fast asleep next to her, and felt the firm arm around her. She smiled and snuggled in, hugging her sister's arm like a stuffed toy. She could hear typing next to her and looked up to see Delphine, propped up in bed, typing on her computer.
"Is Cosima okay?" she whispered to her guardian.
"You are awake" Delphine noted in a whisper. "She is going to be okay. Just a mild concussion and a few contusions."
"Good" Charlotte noted, scooting closer to Delphine. "Are you working on the cure?"
Delphine nodded, opening an arm so Charlotte could snuggle in.
"It needs to work this time" Charlotte whispered, laying her head on Delphine's shoulder.
Delphine typed to Scott that she would be back in 30 minutes and closed her computer, setting it aside. "It will" Delphine had a look at Charlotte's arms. The blood wasn't all off yet. "How about I draw you a nice bath in our tub with Cosima's bubble bath?" she suggested.
Charlotte nodded "Could you shampoo my hair though? I hate doing it"
Delphine nodded and stood up, heading to the bathroom.
She drew Charlotte a luke warm bath, adding in the bubbles and took a deep breath of their familiar smell. She then grabbed the girl a wash cloth and laid it over the tub.
"Appelle-moi quand tu m'as besoin. Call me when you need me." Delphine instructed the girl.
Charlotte nodded and Delphine stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door. After going in to Charlotte's room and grabbing her a clean pair of PJs, she headed back to Cosima. Setting the clothes on her nightstand, she slid in to bed next to Cosima, spooning her carefully. She softly kissed the back of her girlfriend's neck, before resting her head against her back. Cosima took her hand, pulling it up to her chest cuddling it under her chin.
Delphine smiled, breathing deeply, trying to memorize everything about this woman. She tried to commit the way that this moment felt to her memory; how Cosima felt and how her heart felt when she was near this woman. Like millions of bursting stars, she'd said. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. That's exactly what it felt like; like coming home to way back when they were all just stardust floating in space.
"Delphine?" Charlotte called out.
Delphine was too caught up in Cosima to notice.
Charlotte waited for a moment and when Delphine didn't come, she called out again.
"Maman?" she called, instinctively. As soon as the title came out, she feared Delphine's reaction. She hadn't meant to, it had just happened.
That got her attention. Delphine's head popped up and her heart smiled. She got out of bed, grabbed the clothes, and headed towards the bathroom.
Delphine popped her head into the bathroom, a gigantic smile on her face.
Charlotte saw the smile and her fear gave way to excitement. A smile spread on her own face "Je suis prêt pour mes cheveux. I am ready for my hair."
Delphine hung the clothing on the hook on the back of the door, then walked over and lowered herself to the floor, grabbing her shampoo as she did. She arranged her long limbs on the tile near the tub and squirted some shampoo in her palm, massaging it through Charlotte's long brown hair.
"As-tu jamais pensé à couper tes cheveux?Have you ever thought about cutting your hair?" Delphine asked as she worked the product in.
Charlotte nodded "Marion m'as toujours dit que c'etait trop long et belle. Ce serait une honte de les couper. Marion always told me that it was too long and beautiful. It would be a shame to cut it."
Delphine chuckled "Bien oui, c'est tellement belle! Mais ils sont vos cheveux; c'est ta décision. Of course it's very beautiful. But it's your hair; it's your decision."
Charlotte thought about that for a minute "J'aimerais bien les couper. C'est si difficile les matins et pendant mes bains et ils prennent toujours à sécher. I'd really like to cut it. It's so hard in the mornings and during baths, and it takes forever to dry."
Delphine finished the lather and reached for the shower head "Je vais appeler mon coiffeur. Tu l'aimeras bien. Et puis on a encore besoin de t'acheter des nouveaux vêtements. Sa serait une journée de maman et fille. D'accord? I'll call my hair dresser. You'll like him. And also, we still need to buy you new clothes. It'll be a mother-daughter day. Okay?"
"Ton coiffeur va couper mes cheveux? You hair dresser is going to cut my hair?" She asked, dumbfounded.
Delphine nodded "Ce n'est pas la seconde venue. It's not the second coming."
"C'est pour moi. Tes cheveux sont…incroyables! It is for me. You hair is…incredible!"
That elicited a belly laugh from Delphine "Penche ta tête en arrière. Lean your head back."
Charlotte followed the direction and Delphine rinsed her hair with the shower head. Once she had gotten all the soap out, she turned off the water.
"I'll get you our biggest, fluffiest towel." Delphine told her, standing up.
She went to the new shelving unit they'd picked up and grabbed a clean towel from the top shelf. She left it on the closed toilet lid and turned to leave.
"Maman?" Charlotte asked.
Delphine turned around, unable to keep the smile from her face yet again. "Oui?"
"Can I call you that from now on?" Charlotte asked.
Delphine smiled and nodded "I would like that a lot."
"Me too" Charlotte beamed back.
Delphine walked out and closed the bathroom door. She leaned against it, her heart so happy. She was a Maman. She was Charlotte's Maman.
A/N: Holy long chapter! I just couldn't stop writing. Well, the plot cat's out of the bag here. What do you guys think about that? I told you that I wouldn't kill her. Anyways, hope that you enjoyed. I appreciate every single one of you who are coming on this journey with me. It's gonna be a wild one, so hold on to your boot straps.