Step #17:

Being Bold Is Sometimes The Right Thing To Do

...\~/...

September 25th, 10:02 A.M.:

"Hikaru, I want you to go on a date with me."

He just stood there, looking like an idiot with wide eyes. And she just stood there as well, staring up at him with her doe-like gaze. One of Haruhi's most charming qualities was to look into someone's eyes while talking to them. It showed that she was confident as an individual and independent. Those were two things he wasn't at the moment, so he diverted his eyes somewhere else. Hikaru brought his hand up, rubbing the back of his neck slowly. Here she was, Haruhi Fujioka, a married woman, asking him out on a date. He had to wonder if maybe he had grown up a bit over the past week because before, he would've jumped all over the opportunity to take her out, but now the idea didn't sound appealing. Still, she came all the way here from Japan, so he might as well accept. It would probably be good for him to get out for a while. Hikaru looked back at her, only to look away once more when their eyes met. He wished she would stop her staring...

"You smell like alcohol." Haruhi stated, walking into the apartment when Hikaru stepped out of the way.

"Yeah... Alcohol's been kind of a close friend this past week."

Haruhi turned towards him after he closed the door. "Hikaru, alcohol isn't the right thing to turn to. You should've called."

"I couldn't after what I said to you." He cleared his throat. "Speaking of that, sorry..."

"It's fine. You were under the influence, which I hope never happens again."

"How's Milord doing?"

"He's concerned about your well-being, but he's not mad at you. You know how he is; it's hard for him to actually be mad at someone."

It was true: Tamaki Suoh didn't have the ability to be mad at someone. When he tried, it was pathetic to watch him because after awhile, Tamaki would fade back to his overly energetic self, and beg for forgiveness. Hikaru thought back to the time during their Host Club years when they had all gone to the beach. Haruhi, being her independent self, thought it would be an awesome (stupid) idea to confront a group of rowdy men who were hitting on a group of their customers. Haruhi was thrown into the ocean off a cliff, Tamaki saved her, and the two argued about gender issues. Hikaru remembered how pitiful the blonde had been, staring at the brunette with puppy dog eyes, in hopes that she would forgive him for his outburst.

"Can you put something else on other than boxers?" Haruhi requested, turning away from him to set her bag by the couch.

"I should do that since I have a lady here, shouldn't I?"

"What happened to your hand?" she asked, pointing towards his casted hand.

"...I broke it."

"Doing what?"

"Long story."

Haruhi frowned at his response. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No..."

"Well, you go get dressed while I make you something."

"Fine."

...\~/...

He was dressed in a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a black sweater vest, and his nicest pair of jeans. Hikaru sat on his bed, phone in his hands, lifeless eyes staring at the screen. Hope coursed through his entire being, wishing that it would light up with Ripley's name. Why would it though after what he had said to her? I don't like the way you look. He was such an idiot for saying that. Hikaru's leg bounced uncontrollably, probably from his anxiety. His stomach was doing flips and his palms were sweaty, a sudden wave of nausea washing over him. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk so much, but it kept calling him. Liquor gave him a delightful feeling that granted him the time to forget all his worries.

Hikaru gasped when his phone vibrated, his heart skipping a beat, but the excitement slowly faded away when he saw that it was another Red Hue match-up. Ever since he had posted a picture of himself on there, women were messaging him left from right. Every message he had received all told him that he was easy on the eyes. Right now, that wasn't something he wanted to be told. Hikaru narrowed his gaze as he opened the message. They were all like him, wanting looks more than personality. They were shallow, a characteristic he shared with them. They were everything Ripley wasn't; she didn't need a picture to form a bond with him. Looks didn't matter to her; they never did.

"You can't get a hold of her?"

Hikaru shook his head, looking up at Haruhi with watery eyes. "And I don't think I ever will."

His head met her stomach, resting it there when she approached. Haruhi's fingers tangled into his dark hair, scratching at his scalp soothingly as he cried once more. He felt so pathetic, crying in front of her. This was Haruhi, though, a person you were allowed to be yourself around and never fear judgment. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her waist, Hikaru just wanting something to hold. "H-how c-come I'm like t-this? W-why do I have t-to be so m-m-mean a-and inconsiderate?"

"Because you wouldn't be you if you weren't."

"No, I'd b-be a b-better person."

"You are a good person, you just have flaws like everyone else."

He had more bad qualities than good. He was childish, possessive, harsh, shallow, selfish, bitter, immature, and stubborn. When he didn't like something, no one could ever convince him to like it. When he didn't like something, he had to say so or he would be unsatisfied. All he knew about himself was his bad qualities. "What are my good qualities?" He wanted, needed to know. Haruhi was always so honest, so he could depend on her to give him a good answer. He pulled away, rubbing his nose on his arm, his eyes meeting hers. "Please tell me." he pleaded softly. What did Ripley see in him these past nine months to ignore his flaws? She didn't know what he looked like, so it wasn't his looks that she had been after.

Haruhi thought for a moment, "Well, you're caring, but in your own way. Since you grew up depending on Kaoru and no one else, you have a hard time showing your feelings properly, but you mean well. You're funny, and have the ability to cheer people up with your jokes or pranks. You're artistic; you don't know this, but I followed your art blog all the time. You have talent with the paintbrush." She set a hand on his head, giving him a warm smile. "And when you love someone, you love them forever."

"I loved you for six years."

"I know." Haruhi put a finger under Hikaru's chin, lifting his gaze to hers. "But I believe your heart is going to another woman."

"She won't answer me..."

Haruhi gave a frown, "Come on, get some breakfast. I made you all your favorites."

...\~/...

Haruhi stood over the sink, hand washing the pans she used. It was strange hearing Hikaru so quiet. She could remember all the times he had been silent around her and it had always seemed like the day was never complete without hearing his loud voice sometimes. His quietness reminded her of the first time he and Kaoru had their first serious fight. Kaoru had been friendly and talkative as usual, but Hikaru had been distant with both of them, depending on Hunny and Mori for comfort the whole time. Haruhi looked back at him over her shoulder, sending him a solemn look. He was going through his breakfast of pancakes and syrup slowly, staring longingly at his phone. He wanted her to call him so bad; it hurt her heart to watch him.

She watched as Hikaru grabbed his phone quickly when it lit up and vibrated. His shoulders fell as he read the screen, throwing his phone onto the island. The dark-haired man shoved his plate to the side, the pancakes barely eaten, Hikaru burying his head into his arms on the table.

"Can I read it?" she asked, assuming it was another Red Hue match-up.

"It's pathetic."

Haruhi switched on his phone.

Hey Hikaru,

My name's Olivia and I'm very glad that Red Hue matched us up because we basically have the same interests. Like you, I'm becoming a game designer too, and hope to work with EA someday. I'm currently studying at New York City's Art Institute. I have to say though, I don't meet any of your requirements when it comes to what you're looking for in a woman.

Hope to hear from you!

Olivia

"She seems to be nice." Haruhi commented, setting his phone on the table. "Why's she pathetic?"

"Because she's not her." Hikaru mumbled. "I hate Red Hue. Why'd I ever have to go on there in the first place?"

"You wouldn't have met Ripley."

Hikaru went quiet.

"What are you even doing here, Haruhi?"

"Like I said, I want to take you on a date."

"You're married. I can't take a married woman on a date."

"Alright, then let's just go on an outing. Get you some fresh air."

"Fine."

...\~/...

They were in front of Gamestop. Hikaru gave her a weird look when they entered the store, the bell tingling lightly. "Uh, Haruhi, we don't have to come here just because I like video games. We can go somewhere else."

Haruhi gave a sigh, "I'm actually here for Tamaki. He's obsessed with this game called Super Smash Brothers. He plays it when he's not working."

"Well, duh, it's an awesome game! I remember playing the first edition with Kaoru."

The brunette frowned, "I think it's a stupid game. Now Tamaki wants to get all the Nintendo games." She held up a credit card. "He even gave me his card to get every Nintendo game in here. Know of any?"

"Of course! Let's see..."

Flipping through all these old games made him nostalgic. He remembered the times when he and Kaoru would beg their mom and dad to buy them the latest game, spending hours on end on their Gameboys and Nintendo 64. He remembered dressing up as Charmander while Kaoru was Pikachu for Halloween, their mother making the costumes for them. He remembered their handmade cardboard Go-Karts based off of Mario Karts cars and how they would race each other through the gardens, making car sounds as they zoomed towards the center fountain. And he remembered all the times when he and Ripley would spend hours on end reminiscing about their childhood and those games.

Haruhi was complaining about them.

It bothered him more than it should've.

"Why do people even play these...?" Haruhi mumbled, throwing a game back into its pile.

He knew why: they allowed people to escape from real life. Ever since he was little, video games had been a way to vent his anger, to ignore all the troubling thoughts he had growing up, to feel like he could do anything. Video games gave him the chance to be anything he could be. In role-playing games, he had the decision to become a knight in shining armor, a mystical and wise mage, or a wolf in a sheep's costume, faking innocence whenever he performed evil deeds. In war games, he had the sense of duty as he shot down one villain after another. Horror games gave him the scare and thrill he needed at times to cure his boredom. He knew he wasn't the only one like that in the world. Games were a stress reliever when used in the proper way.

Hikaru watched Haruhi stare blankly at a Pokemon game, not understanding the awesomeness of the game. His first team consisted of Charizard, Venomoth, Nidoking, Electrode, Golem, and Scyther. Raising them all the way up to level one hundred had been a pain in his ass, but it had been worth it when he completed the whole game.

She just threw it down without a care.

Ripley would have never done that.

She probably would've picked it up with a big grin and recited all the names of her Pokemon with pride.

Hikaru picked the game back up, gazing at it with half-lidded eyes.

He needed to get out of here.

"Hey, Haruhi, can we go somewhere else? I'm getting kind of bored."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Let me pay for this."

"I'm going to wait outside."

"Okay... Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

...\~/...

Places that they went to in New York City:

1. Larry's Store of Superpowers: Ever since he met Ripley, she had turned him on to comic books. He had made it a weekly thing to go to this specific comic book store since it was closest to his apartment. Although it had been weird going in there every Saturday since all the nerdy men wanted to become his instant sidekick and the pimple-faced girls wanted to be his lover, the store had become his secret haven. The owner was nice, though, telling him everything there was to know about comics when Hikaru had told him that he was interested. The Hulk had become his favorite, especially since he sometimes wanted to turn into a colossal, green beast when he was angry and destroy things. But Captain America was also one of his favorites. Captain America's pure heart, loveable personality, and loyalty to his comrades reminded Hikaru of Kaoru at times.

But Haruhi found no interest in comic books.

She even called them dumb, which a lot of customers looked at her with a gasp.

Hikaru felt two feet tall when everyone in the store glared at him when they realized Haruhi was with him.

This was so embarrassing.

"Let's go. It's obvious you don't want to be here."

2. Yankee's Stadium: Haruhi actually got them baseball tickets to the Yankees game. He almost fainted when she pulled them out of her purse. He wasn't exactly a fan of baseball, but he would have never imagined Haruhi forcing herself through an entire three hours of men hitting a ball and running around a diamond. Nope. She actually went all out on it. When one of the players hit the ball and three different guys ran after it, there was popcorn flying when she jumped out of her seat, yelling for the Yankees to run home. It was the most amusing thing he had seen in awhile.

"Who knew that you'd get all excited over baseball?" Hikaru commented as she sat down.

"Tamaki took me to a baseball game back in Japan and...I don't know...it just gets me all riled up."

"Haruhi Fujioka being enthusiastic? Never heard of such a thing!" he teased.

"Oh hush... Does Ripley like baseball?"

"She's been to one baseball game which was between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs. She's a Cardinals fan."

Haruhi noticed the faraway look in his eyes as he stared at his lap. His face was a deeper hue, cheeks blazed with a red blush. She had to wonder how Ripley was doing. Kaoru had said he tried to apologize, but whatever he said either made it worse or made her burst into tears. Haruhi looked out into the baseball diamond. She wished Ripley could see the state Hikaru was in right now, with his sadness and drunkenness. It was obvious that he felt terrible about what he said and was now wishing he could take it all back. But never in a million years had she thought that Hikaru would turn to alcohol to cure his spinning mind. The first she had ever seen that frightening side of him was at her wedding. After that day, she never wanted to see that side of him again.

He loved Ripley, it was completely and totally obvious.

But what were his feelings for her? Haruhi had rejected him all those years ago, but he had never gotten over her.

This was the objective behind the date. If he still had feelings for her, she'd try and get rid of them.

He needed to move on.

"Do you regret what you said to her?" Haruhi asked.

Hikaru's eyes closed, "Yes, terribly so. I...I-I wish I could tell her I'm sorry, but she won't answer me. I can understand perfectly why, though. She's probably disgusted by me now." He gave a small, nervous laugh. "Hell, I'm even disgusted with myself."

She went to open her mouth, but the crowd gave a roar when the announcer shouted, "AND THE YANKEES WIN!"

...\~/...

3. Bed, Bath, and Beyond: Yes, they actually went there. Haruhi wandered into the store without telling him. Said something about him desperately needing new pots and pans. As they weaved throughout the aisles, she would stop abruptly and pick up everything. Haruhi reminded him of a child who wanted everything their eyes could land on. He guessed this was her type of store, which contained items that were practical rather than materialistic. That was the kind of person she was-practical, while Tamaki wanted everything. It was funny how opposite the married couple were; Haruhi was usually dull and unenthusiastic while Tamaki was energetic and dramatic. As he trailed behind her, watching her closely, Hikaru began to note the differences between them.

Haruhi had one goal and that was to become a lawyer; Hikaru had a whole list of things he wanted to do before he died.

Haruhi was content with staying in one place; Hikaru wanted to explore the world, even if he had already done that.

Haruhi was scared to death of thunderstorms; he found it calming to listen to the claps of thunder and the harsh whistling of the wind. Come on! He even wanted to see an actual tornado!

She was bad at art; he was good at it.

She was sociable and easily approachable; he was terrible at interacting with others.

The brunette in front of him smiled when she picked up a toothbrush holder in the shape of a frog. "Tamaki would love this. Remember that frog-shaped gumball machine he gave you for Christmas?" she asked.

Hikaru nodded, "I still have it. It's in my bedroom." He lifted up his wrist, "And remember this? I wear it every day." It was the bike chain bracelet she had given him back in December. He couldn't believe it was that long ago when he had been single and lonely as hell. For a moment there, before Haruhi came back, he thought he was going to end up in that dark world again. He was scared to death of it and he knew that the 'I don't like the way you look' episode would haunt him for the rest of his life. Hikaru wished he wasn't so difficult to live with.

"I got it from a consignment store Tamaki and I passed by."

Hikaru looked to his right and spotted something that Ripley would love in an instant. He laughed, picking it up, showing it off. "Look at this!" It was a black, metal sign on a matching spiral that said 'You can't just have one cat; you need forty-three others'. Haruhi stood there with a blank expression. "What's so funny about it?"

"This fits Ripley to a T! She always says how she would never be able to live without a cat."

Haruhi smiled warmly, "Hikaru, do you miss her?"

His expression grew soft, "You know that saying about how you don't know how much you appreciate something until it's gone?"

"Yeah."

"I'm living it right now." He put the cat sign back on the shelf. "For a long time, I was reminded of you wherever I went. The littlest things I connected to our years together and that's what kept my love for you so strong. Then, I met Ripley, and my world began to change. She was this woman I could count on to make me feel better after so many people slapped me back into reality. I…I really fell for her." He clutched at his shirt. "There was this time for three months when she wouldn't talk to me and I didn't know why. Haruhi, I was so lonely. I was going into withdraw, as pathetic as that sounds. And now this…" He quickly ran his sleeve over his eyes, shaking his head. "What if I never hear from her again? I blew her off… I probably deserve this. Maybe…maybe I'll finally learn how to treat a woman correctly."

Haruhi grabbed his hand. It was clammy from sweat. She remembered all the times back in high school when he had grabbed her hands and they had never felt like this. It was weird seeing him like this.

"I think your bond with her is too strong. I don't think Ripley would be the type of person to drop you like that."

"I deserve it. She's done so much for me and I had to go and…hurt her…"

Their fingers intertwined and he thought nothing of it.

"Come on, Hikaru, let's go get something to eat."

4. Alexander's Café:

This part of their "date" would've had potential.

If it hadn't been for Cassidy's incessant staring.

The beanie-clad woman literally pulled up a chair, tucked her intertwined fingers under her chin, and locked her eyes onto Hikaru.

He and Haruhi tried their best to ignore it.

"What are you getting, Hikaru?" Haruhi asked. "I don't really know what to get."

"I'm thinking about the avocado chicken club. Pretty good; I've had it before."

"You shouldn't do that, Hika." Cassidy said snidely, a smirk twitching at her lips. "Lots of carbs. May make you fat."

After that, their conversation was uninterrupted.

Until their food actually came. Cassidy was still staring at him.

"I heard that smearing avocado on your skin helps clean out pores, preventing bacteria from building up in them because no one wants acne, right, Hikaru? Acne's really gross, isn't it, Hikaru. I mean, who would want someone that has acne?" By this time, Hikaru's head was bent down, bangs covering his eyes. He knew exactly what Cassidy was getting at. Cassidy was a lot like him in some ways; she wasn't afraid to say what was on her mind. "I have to wonder if there are any remedies that will help fade scars. I have a few unsightly ones on my arms I was hoping to get rid of because marred flesh is just so...so...how would you describe it, Hikaru? Ugly, right?" The feeling of dread was beginning to take over again. His stomach felt like it was burning from the inside out. Nausea suddenly swept over him.

Haruhi leaned forward, glaring in Cassidy's direction. "Leave him alone. This isn't the time to play mind games."

"Aw, but I was just beginning to have fun, especially since I was winning." Cassidy answered snidely, sneering.

The brunette stood from her chair, pointing towards the kitchens. "Go away, Cassidy." Haruhi hissed. "He doesn't need this right now."

Cassidy stared at her through half-closed eyes, her face adorning a bored expression. Finally, the young woman stood from her chair. "Hn, whatever, I wouldn't be doing this to him if he hadn't been a dick in the first place." Cassidy mumbled before heading to the kitchens. Hikaru continued to stare at his plate, his lunch untouched.

"Hikaru, do you want to-"

"She's right, you know." Hikaru muttered. All around him, people chattered happily, and he could hear whispers from women, who were talking about him. All they could see was his outside, but they had no idea what he was really like on the inside. They were just like him, judging someone off of their looks. Why did he have to do that with Ripley though? He knew what she was like personality-wise, so why couldn't he had just accepted the way she looked? "I was a dick to her. Why couldn't I had been more kind?"

Haruhi sighed, "That's what everyone wants to know, but truthfully, we were all kind of expecting it."

"Thanks. How kind of all of you..." Hikaru replied blandly.

His phone began to vibrate and he immediately grabbed it out of his pocket. A groan escaped his lips as he threw his phone on the table, throwing his head back as he rubbed his face. Three new messages... "Who are they from?" he heard Haruhi ask. "Ripley?"

"No, one's from Red Hue, another threatening text from Ripley's roommates, and...a message from my mother."

"You don't sound too happy about any of them."

"I've gotten used to the death threats from her roommates and all the Red Hue match-ups, but...my mom and I kind of got into a fight."

"About what?"

"Kaoru blabbed to her about what happened last week."

...\~/...

Five Days Earlier:

Light flooded into his room when the curtains were pulled back. A groan came from the lump under the covers when someone shook him awake, long nails digging into his sides. His head throbbed when he opened his eyes, the light causing his skull to pulsate with pain. Another moan of pain came from Hikaru as he rubbed his face, the covers being pulled off of him. Every sound the person made was intensified ten times; the clacking of heels, the smooth tones of a woman's voice, and the ruffling sound of his comforter being wadded into a ball. For a moment, he thought maybe she came back to him, to check on him.

"Ripley...?" he croaked out. He really wished he hadn't drunk so much whiskey the night before.

"No, it's your mother."

That's when his bloodshot eyes focused. There she was- Yuzuha Hitachiin. She was dressed in a V-neck black dress with a flowered camisole beneath, her signature black heels adding a few more inches to her height. But there was something different about her. She wasn't smiling; no, she looked pissed. Her upset demeanor was foreign to him because never once had she'd been angry with them. His mother was known for her carefree and laid-back attitude, never anything bad. The deep frown that graced her painted lips didn't look right on her beautiful features.

"Mom, go away. My head hurts..." he whined, covering his head with his pillow. That was yanked away from him as well.

"Hangover getting to you, Hikaru? Kaoru told me you've resorted to alcohol." she hissed. "Go take a shower, you reek." she demanded.

Hikaru continued to lay there, his face buried in his arms. "...no..."

"What did you say?" she asked, the clicking of her heels stopping abruptly. Her head turned, looking at her eldest son with narrowed eyes.

"I said no." Hikaru shot back, lifting his head momentarily so she could hear him before dropping his head again.

Not a second later, a pair of arms wrapped around him, dragging him off the bed. Hikaru struggled against her, grabbing onto anything that would prevent her from dragging him to the bathroom. He wanted to stay in bed and sleep away all his problems. It was true, he probably did smell bad, because he hadn't done anything but drink, sleep, and pee since the incident with Ripley. His body was numb and weak, not wanting to do anything else. Now his dear ol' mom was forcing him to do something that he didn't want to do. Finally he gave in, granting her wish of him actually bathing. Hikaru slumped against the toilet when his mom dropped him, turning to fill the tub with water.

"I can't believe my own son would turn to alcohol..." Yuzuha muttered, gazing at her son over her shoulder. His head hung forward.

Once the tub was full, Yuzuha helped her son stand. "Alright, strip." He obeyed her, albeit slowly. Once he was deprived of all clothing, he grabbed onto his mom for support as he stepped in. A shiver ran along his body as he dipped his foot in, "It's freezing." he mumbled, slipping his foot in all the way. A surprised gasp slipped from his lips when his lower half was enveloped by the cold water. "Mom, you can leave now."

"No, because I know you'll just get out and go back to bed." Yuzuha said, grabbing a bowl she had snatched from the kitchen so she could fill it with water and wash him properly. Once she had gotten him in the tub, he let her wash his body and hair without causing a problem, his body used to the coldness. The cold water was what he needed, his temperature spiking almost every day since the incident. After draining the water, she wrapped her son in a towel, noticing how thin he had gotten over the last few years. Her son was handsome, still was, but she couldn't understand what girls saw in him when it came to his body. She sat Hikaru on the toilet, drying his hair with another towel, noting how she would have to use some make-up to cover up the dark circles beneath his eyes. Yuzuha blow-dried his hair and said, "I got this," she said, pulling a box of dye out a plastic bag that sat on the sink. "To dye your hair again. Your roots are beginning to show again. Maybe I should cut your hair..."

"Do whatever you want." Hikaru murmured, his dead eyes cast downward.

And she did. She cut his bangs back a little so that they didn't completely cover his eyes, and she snipped hair off here and there. Then, she applied the dye, making sure not to cause a mess. While his hair dried, Yuzuha selected a simple, long-sleeved, black T-shirt and jeans, helping him into his clothes. "Hikaru," Yuzuha began, running her fingers along certain parts of skin. Nasty-looking bruises stood out against his pale skin. "What are these from?"

"Bar fight..." he said, his voice hoarse. "The day I...hurt Ripley..."

"Running your mouth again?"

"Yeah..."

"Kaoru's told me you've gotten beat up a lot this past year."

Hikaru remained silent. What else had Kaoru told her? About his depression, his being in love with Haruhi, his relationship with Ripley and how he ruined it? If he had to describe his relationship with his mother, it wouldn't be considered close, like some kids were with their parents. Every time Ripley talked about her parents, he remembered the twinge of envy he would always get. His parents had never been there for him or Kaoru, always hiring a nanny to come take care of them. As she styled his hair, he remembered the first time when she got him and his twin mixed up, smiling as she did so. How does a mother not know between her own sons?

"Brush your teeth, then come to the kitchen to eat some breakfast."

"Why would I brush my teeth now?"

"Because I said so."

...\~/...

His head was in his hands as he listened to the sizzling pop of bacon on the stove. The sun's rays burst through the window, making his eyes hurt. He felt refreshed after his mom took care of him, but he couldn't help but want to reach out and grab the neck of a vodka bottle and mix it in with his orange juice. He wanted to feel that buzz he always got when he drowned himself in liquor, but his mother being there stopped him from doing so. It was strange seeing his mother standing at the stove, let alone in a kitchen. When he was a kid, that was the one room she always wanted to avoid, only going in there when she absolutely needed to.

"It's been a long time since I made breakfast for you. Remember when I made breakfast for you and your brother when I would come home early to surprise you?" she asked, her familiar smile set upon her face once more. Reminiscing always put her in a better mood.

"No, I don't."

"Well, I did. I remember when you two-"

"Because you were never home." Hikaru hissed.

Yuzuha froze.

She turned off the stove, setting the pan aside. Forget breakfast; she had burnt it anyway.

"Hikaru, let's talk about what happened last week with your Red Hue friend." Yuzuha began, setting her hand on her son's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" he yelled, jumping back from his stool. She watched as the stool clattered to the ground. Her eyes met his. "Don't...touch...me..." he repeated, his voice shaky. Yuzuha's heart jumped at the sight of her son's gaze, so full of hate and anger. There had only been a few other instances when she had witnessed her son this upset. But then she saw confusion spread across his face, almost like he was having second thoughts about what he was going to say. The confusion only lasted for a few seconds before he looked mean again.

"Hikaru..."

"You made me this way." he interjected. "You made me say those things to her."

"What exactly did I make you?" She was glad she had the island table between her and her son. Kaoru had mentioned something about Hikaru getting violent sometimes. "What did I make you say?"

"You know damn well what you did to me!" he yelled, wiping his eyes with the palm of his hand. "You made me bitter and cynical and judgemental! You...you made me say what I did to her! I never wanted to say those words to her, but you made me do it! You made me into a shallow, little shit!" Hikaru shouted, pointing at her. "I hate how you always say you did a good job raising us! I hate how you always say you have two wonderful sons! You were never there! Our nannies raised us, not you! You were never there to see us grow up!" He smashed his fist against the table, causing his mother to jump. "Fuck! Why'd you even have kids!"

"Because we wanted a family..."

"No! No, you didn't! If you wanted a family, you would've been there for us! Do you remember the year when Kaoru broke his arm after he fell down the stairs?" He scowled when she shook her head. "That's right. You don't. Because you weren't even there. You were off in Bali on some business trip. Business trips... Why'd you even get married; you were already married to your job."

"I married your father because I loved him!" Yuzuha fought back. "I loved you both! Just because I wasn't there didn't mean I didn't know what was going on! Just...there must've been some incidents that I wasn't informed of!" Just the thought of her youngest son having a broken arm hurt her. How come she had never known? Well, the nanny at that time had always hated her; she just took the job because she needed money. "Hikaru, I'm sorry..."

"No, you're not." Hikaru said lowly.

"Yes, I am."

"NO, YOU'RE NOT!" he yelled at her. Yuzuha was taken aback; never once had he raised his voice to her, even when he was angry. "If you loved us, you would've been able to tell us apart! The one that is not Kaoru is me and the one that isn't me is Kaoru! How hard was that to figure out?! A mother should be able to know her sons apart, whether they look same or not!"

"Hikaru, I always knew you two apart! It was a game! I was just kidding when I got you guys mixed around!"

She shouldn't have said that.

His whole being changed when she said that. His shoulders fell, a hurt expression dominating his angry one.

He looked like he was about to cry.

"Some game that is..." he mumbled. "Fuckin' with your kids' minds. Real nice game."

"Hikaru, I'm sorry. Kaoru understood when I told him, so why can't you-"

"Because I'm not Kaoru! Didn't I already tell you that?! Kaoru is forgiving, sweet, and understanding, while I'm this!" he said, gesturing to himself. "Horrible, selfish, and cold, that's what I am. If anyone were to ever mistake me for Kaoru, they're too stupid to live." His breathing was uneven, fingers running through his ash hair. "Oh God, she can't have me. She's too good for me." Hikaru croaked out, his voice sounding like it was holding a sob back. He was pacing back and forth, clutching at his dark hair. "I...I really hurt her. She deserves someone better. I'm never going to change. Never..."

He was breaking down.

"GODDAMN IT!" Yuzuha backed up when Hikaru picked up one of the stools and threw it against the wall. China plates that had been sitting on shelves fell to the ground, shattering to shards when the stool made contact. Yuzuha watched as every last bit of sanity left her son as he punched at the wall repeatedly, his knuckles busting open, blood dripping to the floor, staining and smudging the wall, streaming down his hand and fingers. His teeth ground together, his eyes narrowed and weeping as he continued to attack the wall. She stepped forward, but hesitated when the thought of her son turning on her crossed her mind. But his hand gave a sickening crack and she summoned up the courage to grab his shoulder.

"Hikaru, stop this! You need to calm down!"

"Get out!" he yelled at her face. "GET OUT! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE! YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY MOM, YOU'RE JUST A STRANGER!"

Yuzuha swallowed a sob back as she hurried out the kitchen door, collected her things, and rushed out the front door, which Hikaru kicked close.

His hand throbbed with pain.

Crying on the other side of the door flooded his ears.

And he broke down even more.

Hikaru crumpled to the ground, rocking back and forth with his head in his hands. Tears stained his face, mind running a mile a minute.

He ruined everything- his friendships, his relationship with his mother, and the feelings he had for Ripley.

But there was something that he realized and it made him freeze.

His fear had been reborn.

He had officially returned to that dark world.

...\~/...

Present Time:

"So, you broke your hand during a fight with your mom?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah... I really lost it that day."

"Have you read any of her messages?"

"To scared to look."

Haruhi hummed in response, sitting back in her chair.

"Haruhi, are we almost done with this date? I really just want to go home."

"No, we still have a few places to go to."

Hikaru sighed, rubbing his hand along his black cast. "Fine. Let's get going then."

"But our lunch..."

"Haruhi, please, let's just go."

...\~/...

5. Manhattan Mall: The sound of hundreds of people hurt his ears and his eyes hurt from the bright lights that shone overhead, but he followed Haruhi nonetheless. He was surprised to see her entering so many clothing stores since she never really cared for such a thing and would rather sit in the food court than actually shop. Hikaru was beginning to get irritated though because everything that would've looked good on her she passed and everything that would make her look bad she liked. Haruhi, being a brunette and light-skinned, always looked good in light colors, like pink and white. He nearly snatched her bald-headed when she picked up a puke green peacoat.

"But I like it." she said. Was she pouting?

He stared at her for a moment, taking in her wide gaze and slightly pouty expression. The way she looked reminded him of Tamaki; maybe the blonde idiot was rubbing off on her a little. And he couldn't help but snicker, using one hand to try and cover his laugh and his other set itself on top Haruhi's head, ruffling her dark hair. She turned her gaze from the coat to him, setting her doe-like look on him. "Why are you laughing?" she asked, her tone of voice reminding him of Ripley.

And that's when he stopped.

People around them whispered about how cute of a couple they were, but he knew they would never be a couple. But as he watched her, he had to wonder if this was the woman he still wanted to be with. She was intelligent, beautiful, and kind- things that he had wanted in a woman. They had nothing in common, though. He was a gamer, an artist, and truthfully, Ripley had turned him into a bit of a nerd since he liked comic books and superheroes now. Haruhi thought they were all stupid, which had bothered him greatly when she told him. Haruhi still had the ability to make him smile and share his true feelings to, but he had to wonder how they would actually be as a couple. Would they get into fights? Would they understand each other and get along? Well, she was dating Tamaki, and he was like a big kid, so Hikaru and Haruhi would most likely get along since he had the mindset of a child.

Haruhi was still an amazing person in his eyes.

And he loved her.

"Haruhi..." he called out to her, his voice low.

With a smile, she turned towards him. "Yeah?"

He did something that he never thought he would be able to do in a million years. It was like his body just took over without checking in on his mind.

He kissed her.

His chapped lips against her smooth ones; it was a feeling he had imagined for many years. Even when he had confessed to her all those years back, he had never made a move to actually kiss her. And every time he thought about it, thought about kissing her, he always thought he would see stars or fireworks would go off in his head. He always thought there would be a spark between them, like electricity coursing through his body.

But there was no spark.

He didn't feel anything.

After Hikaru pulled away, his golden orbs met her beautiful brown ones. She looked surprised at what he had done, but then she got upset. "Hikaru, I'm married! You can't just-! This was just to get you to realize your feelings for-!"

"I don't love you anymore..." he mumbled.

She stopped, "What?"

That's when it sunk in. A huge grin spread across his face when he jumped around. "I don't love you anymore! I mean, I still do, but only as a friend. But still, I didn't feel anything! There was no spark, like I always thought there would be! Oh my God, Ripley! I love her! I'm so stupid! I...I have to go apologize! I have to go see her! Haruhi, I love her!" He started walking away with long strides, but he doubled back, grabbing Haruhi's hand. "C'mon, can't leave another girl stranded in New York City!"

His heart was pounding. All this time, he thought he was still in love with Haruhi, but he wasn't.

He was holding hands with the wrong woman.

He had kissed the wrong woman.

He had been in love with the wrong woman for so long.

Hikaru took out his phone, pulling up Ripley's number. He called it, listening to the ringing on the other side. Voice mail, like always. She probably wouldn't listen to his message, but he couldn't help but beam when he said after the beep, "Ripley, I'm coming."

...\~/...

Before he left, Haruhi threw herself into his arms, pulling him into a warm embrace. "I'm so happy for you." she whispered. Pulling away, she smiled up at him, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. He would've never thought she'd actually cry over him. He gave her a smile in return, taking his thumbs and rubbing the tears away. "I just... Everyone was so worried about you for such a long time." she added. "I'm just so happy..."

"Thanks, Haruhi, you helped me realize a lot of things today." he said. "I have to go now. I have a lot of things I need to fix and I hope Ripley will accept me once more."

"Go." Haruhi said, pushing him towards the door. "And call me after it's over! I expect a happy ending!" she called after him, watching him hurry down the stairs.

"Don't worry! There will be! I'll make sure of it!" His voice bounced off the walls, echoing around the building.

Haruhi slumped against the door frame, her arms crossed loosely at the waist. Her phone was pressed to her ear, her husband finally answering on the other side.

"How did everything go?"

The brunette gave a small laugh, "Hikaru left. He's going after her now."

She could practically feel her husband smile through the phone, "Good. I'm so glad."

"Yeah, me too."

...\~/...

"Salem!" Hikaru shouted, bursting through the doors to Alexander's Cafe. Customers stopped what they were doing to watch him run into the kitchens, the staff ceasing in activity. "Salem, I'm over her! I...I love Ripley!" he said enthusiastically. The brown-haired man on the other side of the island stared at him with narrow eyes, a butcher's knife settled firmly in his right hand. "I was stupid for saying what I did to her! I was a total idiot, but I'm going to fix it! I promise! She's not a toy, or a distraction. She's a ten! No, she's a hundred! A thousand, even!" he informed with a grin.

Everyone was staring at Salem now, confused expressions on everyone's faces. The only one that seemed to understand was Cassidy, who looked at Hikaru with the same narrowed gaze. Hikaru's eyes were planted on Salem, waiting for a response. He was eager for one. No, he needed one. Salem was the one that gave him so much advice; this was the man that had gone through the same experiences. Come on, Salem...a response...

That's when he got a smirk.

Salem reached into his pocket, throwing Hikaru a set of car keys. "Take the truck. It's the bright red one in the back."

Hikaru replied with a grin, "Thanks. Thanks for everything."

"No problem. Now, go get her, Fruitcup."

And he did just that.

...\~/...

September 26th, 11:39 A.M.:

In the Bi-Polar Weather State:

The truck came to a screeching halt in front of a small apartment building. Salem's GPS screamed at him to turn around, but he jumped out of the car after turning the ignition off. Hikaru ran to a set of old, rickety stairs, taking careful steps as he ascended up the stairs. Apartment 32- Ripley's Apartment. His heart was pounding as he opened the screen door to knock on the door behind it. His hands were sweaty and clammy, clenching and unclenching his fingers before he knocked three times. Stomach churning, a burning sensation spreading out his entire body, this was it. This was the moment when he would try and fix everything.

He was going to confess.

He was going to tell Ripley he loved her.

When the door opened, he knew he couldn't run away now.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the asshole." a red-haired woman announced when the door swung open.

"Yeah, that's me." he said, nodding and diverting his eyes from her greenish-brown eyes. "Is Ripley home?"

"Oh no, you'll have to deal with us first." And the woman pulled him inside by grabbing on his shirt collar.

Hikaru found himself surrounded by four, very angry women.

He was in hell.

Hikaru's going to be so dead. He's going to be chewed out for sure. So, that was the Hikaru/Haruhi chapter. Not exactly how I wanted it to flow, but all I really wanted out of this chapter was the kissing scene and the meeting of the Roomies. Poor Hikaru, having gone through so much pain and agony throughout this story. Well, readers, I am very sad to inform that there are only six more chapters left of this fanfic. It has been a very long, slightly tedious journey, but I loved it nonetheless. I have you all to thank for encouraging me to get through this and I'm very, very, VERY happy this story has touched some of you. And I made my goal of 100 reviews! So, I hope I'll see you all again when I post my Kaoru/OC fanfic. I really hope it's as good as this one and Hikaley will be making an appearance in it at times, as well as a lot of my OCs you see in here already. Hopefully, the OC I made for Kaoru is an original one (in my mind, I think she is...-_-'), but you all will be the judge of that if you read it. :D

Author's Note- Fin