All Thanks To Red Hue

by ToxicSniper210

Red Hue: where we bring color into your love life. Or at least that's what the commercial said. Hikaru knows that he can't have Haruhi, so he gives the website a shot. He meets a woman by the name of Ripley Barrett, who he starts to form a connection with. But when he actually meets her, she's not what he was expecting. Hikaru/OC

19. Pick Him Up When He Falls

Step #19:

Soothe Him, Be With Him, And Pick Him Up When He Falls

...\~/...

December 16th, 8:45 P.M.:

I should've known something was up when my four roommates burst into a fit of laughter as a Red Hue commercial blared on out TV. Their faces were turning away from the continuous laughter, trying their hardest to calm down, but the silence would only make them laugh harder. We'd been watching a rather serious movie, so I knew they weren't giggling about that, so it must've been something about the Red Hue ad. Had to admit, the acting was so fake on those commercials and the script was something to snicker at, especially when they brought lovey-dovey couples who had no shame in displaying acts of sickening sweetness in. But it wasn't funny enough to laugh audibly at, so what the hell was their problem. I watched as a couple came on the screen, sharing a slow kiss, and a man's voice played over, "I thought I'd never meet a woman that liked to travel as much as I do, but Red Hue found my future fiancé and now we're going to Australia for our honeymoon." Oh God, I felt my gag reflexes kicking in. To my left, Renee had resorted to a seal-like bark, and MJ, who was to my right, had long since lost all sound in her laugh, shaking silently and trying desperately to control her breathing. Dawn and Erika weren't laughing as hard anymore, so I knew immediately that Renee and MJ must've done something.

"What's so funny?" I asked, my lips twitching into a smirk. It was hard not laughing at their hysteria.

"Should we tell her?" MJ questioned, looking directly at Renee. Hell yes, tell me! I hated being left out of inside jokes...

Renee didn't reply. A hissing noise escaped her as she tried to keep the laughter in, wiping tears away from her eyes with her finger.

Red Hue commercial...friends laughing in reaction...them not telling me something...

I jumped from my seat on the couch, hurrying over to the computer chair. I quickly typed in into the search engine, the website's ridiculous red, pink, and white homepage popping up. Searching my name, my jaw dropped when I read the cursive font Red Hue used to display names. There it was: Ripley Barrett. Spinning around in the chair, "Alright, who did this?!" I yelled, looking directly at Renee.

She threw up her hands, giving a toothy grin, "Why're you looking at me?!"

"Because you'd do something like this! I should've known something was up when you started your talk again! You're always saying 'Ripley, you need a fugly boy toy so you'll feel equal with him' or 'Ripley, you midget, you need to find a boyfriend that's shorter than you so you can finally look down on someone'!" She was the only one that would do something this bold; Renee always did take pleasure in torturing me psychologically. I didn't want this; I didn't want my name on Red Hue. If I wanted to be on there, I would've done it myself.

Needless to say, I was pissed.

"MJ suggested it!" Renee said, pointing at MJ. I whipped my head towards MJ, who turned her head towards Renee, me shouting "You suggested it!" right when she cried out, "Why'd you tell her?!" I watched as MJ turned slowly towards me, sending a sheepish, tight-lipped smile in my direction. My eyes narrowed and she noticed. "Don't look at me like that! I only suggested it! How was I supposed to know that she would actually go with my idea?! It could benefit you in the end, you know! What if you got matched up with a-" MJ shrugged with a hurried shake of the head. "-drop dead gorgeous billionaire?! You'd be thanking me later!"

A drop dead gorgeous billionaire? A snowball's chance in hell.

"Pfft," Renee started, her voice full of mockery. "There's no way someone like that someone like that would pay attention to Ripley. Let's be real."

I stood up, sauntering into the bedroom I shared with MJ and Renee. It was a bit cramped, but it was ours, so I couldn't complain, especially since it was decorated to match our tastes. On our - our being MJ and I - side, the wall was covered with anime posters and scrolls, some signed by famous voice actors. We had a bookcase, the majority of it being filled with MJ's books while two were dedicated to my manga and magazines, and the one desk was shared by the three of us. My snow globe and bobble-head collection sat on two shelves I installed myself, their little head bobbing up and down when I slammed the door behind me. My hand remained rested on the door, listening to my roommates discuss about what had just happened, something that shouldn't have happened. Plopping down in our desk chair, I spun around slowly, my mind whirring a mile a minute.

Dating was something I wasn't ready for. I had a whole list of things I wanted to do before I threw myself into a serious relationship- travel the States, lose weight, earn my degrees in game design and development. My list lacked checkmarks and I wanted to change that before I labeled myself the 'girlfriend' of someone. I wadded up a piece of blank notebook paper, bouncing it off the wall so I could catch it, repeating the action over and over again. This was terrible. Okay, so what if there was the slight chance that I was paired up with someone rich or handsome or famous? How could a girl like me, who attended a community college, lived in a country town, and came from a poor background, be compatible with a guy who could possibly be a high-class snob? I was like a big kid, having a love for video games, comic book heroes, and got giddy over the childish of things. I didn't know how to be a girl, or more that I didn't know how to act like a girl. I wore jeans and T-shirts, always feeling awkward if someone shoved me into a dress of any kind, and I didn't wear make-up of any kind. Dad always told me that I needed to wear better-looking clothes and at least needed to apply some sort of eye make-up; sorry dad, but I was never taught in the art of how to act like a lady.

With my luck, I'd probably be paired up with a pervert...

When the paper ball bounced out of my reach, I gave up.

I'd punch MJ and Renee if I knew they wouldn't punch back.

...\~/...

When everyone was asleep, I tip-toed out to the living room to look up my new and unwanted Red Hue account. Fortunately for me, they hadn't log-offed, so I was able to access my account rather easily. No match-ups, thank God. It was annoying how Red Hue was put together. The website was designed to match you up with someone, basing a math-up on a person's interests. The ability to choose who to talk to on your own disabled, allowing any members the leisure of having to find a partner done for them, instead of having to scroll through a long list of available singles. Then, whoever Red Hue paired you up with, you had the option to message that person and only that person. If, for some reason, you didn't click with the person they chose for you, you would go to that person's account, and click either the 'this person was for me' or the 'this person wasn't for me' boxes. If you chose the 'this person wasn't for me' box, Red Hue would search the list of un-matched singles, and pair you up with another person. Oh, you're wanting to know how I know so much about a website I find utterly stupid? Red Hue is the thing at my college. Girls and guys of all ages preached about it like it was some kind of miracle from God. Red Hue, based on statistics on the news, was getting up there with websites like Facebook, Twitter, and Google. Yeah, I found it hard to believe too.

Welp, time to see if my friends know me better than I know myself.

As I read the interests section, I found myself nodding my head in agreement with most of the things the wrote, only adding and erasing a few things here and there.

Then, I got to the 'what are you looking for' section, and my jaw literally dropped.

I'm looking for some old, bald guy with fat flaps and only three teeth. I want someone who can fart their ABC's and can crush beer cans with his moobs 'cause I think that's sexy right there! ;) By the way, my cup size is in the D-range. Interested?

Edit, edit, EDIT!

Once I erased and saved my profile page, I gave a sigh of relief, thanking the Heavens that Red Hue hadn't matched me up with anyone yet. If someone saw that, they would've thought I was some kind of freak! No offense to those that think traits like that in men are...attractive... Now, what did I look for in a guy? What did I looked for in a guy? Okay, this was harder than I thought. Thinking back to all the 2-D characters I found eye-catching, I guess megane characters were the ones I looked for. I liked guys who had the ability to keep calm, even in the most dangerous of times, and had a sort of laid-back air to them. Glasses and deep voice were definitely sexy... And I also liked characters that had a good sense of humor, were confidant, and seemed to have some kind of possessive nature in them. Wow, lots of requirements...

In the end, I wrote: I want a guy that can make me laugh, especially during times when I'm down. I want someone that'll sit down and play video games with me. Confident with a bit of a possessive nature.

Eh, I'll go with it.

I stood up and there was a short knock at the door, signaling that the papers were here.

Damn it, no more sleep for me.

---

December 17th, 10:45 A.M.:

We threw the last log onto the trailer with a grunt, Dad driving the truck towards a woodpile located behind our client's house. A bitter cold wind whipped around us, hitting us square on in the face. Noses running, fingers growing stiff, and numb in most areas, we ready for this work day to end. The sky was dark with rain clouds, the snow crunching beneath our boots as we walked towards our next tree. The cutting down the tree and chopping it into smaller pieces was the easy part; it was the heaving of the logs onto the trailer that put a strain on my back, a dull ache settling itself in my lower back. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see our client peeking out the window, pushing aside the lacy curtains so she could get a clearer view of our work. How awful of her to watch us from inside her warm and cozy fortress.

"So, you have an account on a dating website?" Joey asked, his deep, rumbling voice bringing back to reality.

"All thanks to MJ and Renee, unfortunately." I replied bitterly.

"You never know; you could end marrying some supermodel millionaire." he answered, picking up the chainsaw that we had laid down earlier.

"Have you and MJ been chatting because she said something along the same lines."

Joey smirked, the chainsaw hitting the side of his leg with each step he took.

"I mean, who would want to date me anyway?" I said quietly, but he heard me.

"A lot of guys would."

That answer pissed me off. "Oh really, then where are all these gents that you speak of, hm?" I sounded harsher than I meant to, but my temper was flared, something that always happened when my insecurities show. "Because if so many guys want to date me, then where the hell are they?! Never once has a man come up to me, asking me out on a date or complimented me on how I looked or anything! I beginning to think you guys are lying to me..." Joey stopped abruptly, causing me to almost run into him. My six-foot-somethin' brother towered over me as he gave me a look, his upper lip twitching which was something that always happened when he annoyed. "Ripley, you're quiet and shy, plus you look like you'd punch someone if they approached them. You probably intimidate the guys at your school, but trust me when I tell you you're pretty." His large hand covered the top of my head. "Try smiling once in awhile. I'm sure you'll turn some heads."

My upper lip lifted in disgust. "Smiling is so hard, though..."

Joey ignored me when he pulled the starter cord, the chainsaw revving to life. It didn't take that long to cut down the client's unwanted tree and cutting it into chunks was simple to. When I saw the woman peering through her window again, I was about to say something about it to Mark when front door opened, the woman stepping out to ask if we wanted a break and some hot chocolate. We accepted eagerly and graciously. The five of us hurried into the house, a burst of heat welcoming us from head to toe. Just like I thought, the house's interior had a rustic look to it, accented with country-style pieces. The whole set-up reminded me of my mom's house down in Texas. The woman ushered us into a parlor, serving us mugs of hot chocolate and gooey chocolate chip cookies.

That's when it happened.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I slipped it out.

It was an e-mail from Red Hue.

Hello Ripley!

Thank you for setting up an account on our wonderful website.

We are pleased to inform you that we have found the person for you!

Click on the following link to see who we paired you up with.

I clicked it.

Up popped a screen with a profile that didn't have a picture on it. I hadn't put a picture on mine either.

"They paired me up with somebody." I muttered. Joey's interest peaked. "His name's Hikaru Hitachiin. Definitely Japanese..."

Hikaru Hitachiin. It felt strange saying his name.

...\~/...

I've never been this stressed before when it came to writing something. Sure, I've had my share of writer's block when it came to fanfics that I've written or papers that I'd start on a day before they were due, but this was something totally different! This...Hikaru...guy...had the potential to be my boyfriend! What was I supposed to say anyway? 'Oh, hey Hikaru, nice to meet a person that I really don't want to be paired up with! So, how's life? Mine sucks at the moment! By the way, is there any chance you're a good-looking billionaire? Really? You're not? Aw, that's a shame, and to think my friends and family thought you might be!' I crumpled in my seat at McDonald's. I had come over here by myself for lunch while my brothers and dad went home. Wasn't really hungry, but I settled for a peppermint hot chocolate. For real, though, what was I supposed to say to this guy?

I shoved my phone away in distain.

I'd made up my mind. I wasn't going to answer.

After taking a cautious sip of my hot drink, my phone buzzed excitedly on the table, drawing the attention of a few other customers. It was MJ. "Hello?" I asked when I held the phone to my ear. My voice was hushed. There was something about talking in restaurants that made me feel awkward, adding to the fact I was still a bit peeved that she and Renee partnered up to make a Red Hue account, thus putting me in this life-changing decision on whether or not I should answer this man named Hikaru. She was probably calling to ask me if they matched me up with anyone.

"Hey, we were wondering- Yes, I'm getting to that! Renee...! Don't...!" A frustrated sigh came from MJ. "Renee keeps pinching me, but anyway, did you get put up with someone?"

See, told you...

"Mmm...yeah..."

"She got a match! She got a MATCH! What's his name?! Tell us!"

"As payback, I shouldn't tell you..." Fail on trying to sound threatening because MJ stomped right over that lie. "If you don't tell us, I'll hide your Fallout games."

"His name's Hikaru Hitachiin."

"So, is he Japanese?"

"I would assume so."

"Have you messaged him yet? Has he messaged you yet?"

"No... I don't know what to write. Do I start formal? Do I start causal? What if he doesn't like me? What if he does and he finds out I have no frickin' clue on what to do in a relationship?" When I stopped talking, I realized there was an unusual amount of quietness on the other end. Pulling my phone away from my ear, I saw that there was no connection. Either MJ hung up or we lost signal. Great, alone again with my thoughts on how to write an idiotic message to this Hikaru guy. I rested my chin on the table, stretching my arms in front of me, phone in hand. I imagined Hikaru on the other end, cool as a cucumber and waiting patiently for me to make the first move. Why can't you take the first step in this relationship, Hikaru!

A sigh escaped me.

...\~/...

Dear Hikaru,

Sorry, I didn't exactly know how to start this, so I went formal. I'm still kind of surprised that Red Hue matched me up with someone so quick. I'll tell you what; I've never been so intimidated by that stupid blinking line in my life. Well, except when I have writer's block. I'm actually pretty nervous, writing this and all. I don't really know what to say. Never been good at this kind of stuff...when it comes to guys.

From,

Ripley B.

A clap of thunder boomed overhead, shaking the whole building. That's when a downpour of rain started.

P.S. It's thundering here and it's the middle of December. Something's not right about that...

...\~/...

Red Hue: Message from Hikaru Hitachiin

Dear Ripley,

Yeah, I'm pretty nervous too. I'm like you, I've never been really good at talking to people. My brother was always the one that did the talking. I would've written something sooner, but I was also intimidated by that blinking line. My mind drew blanks on what to write about. Hey, are you a writer or something? You mentioned something about writer's block.

From,

Hikaru H.

P.S. It's snowing here. Do you like snow?

A this was the beginning of so many Red Hue messages.

---

December 18th, 12:23 P.M.:

In just three messages, I've discovered that both Hikaru and I have bucket lists (something that's a big deal to me), I'm more of an English and writing person while he's a math and science person, found out he has a twin named Kaoru, and I've already guaranteed him an autographed book. And, thanks to Dawn, will probably never get another message. ...she wants to know if you and your brother have done twincest before... Why did I have to ask?! I just met him, just started talking to him, and now he'll probably check the 'this person wasn't for me' box. As I sat there at my laptop, I thought over all the years of interacting with the guys I did. My conversations had always been short and if they didn't create the conversation starters, then it would go awkwardly quiet. Maybe getting to know a guy online was the way to go. That way, I wasn't fumbling over words in person and I could talk (type) clearly. Maybe Red Hue wasn't such a bad thing...

Red Hue: Message from Hikaru Hitachiin

Here it comes: the 'you're a freak for typing that to me!' message.

...I cracked up and I mean, I laughed for like...ten minutes when I read your twincest section. In high school, my brother and I were in this club called a Host Club, and we basically entertain the girls by talking with them, serving tea, doing cosplay, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Well, my brother and I put on this act where we pretended to be involved in a forbidden romance. Girls ate it up so bad. So yeah, we kind of have done twincest. Bet you weren't expecting that answer, huh?...

No way...no freakin' way. He wrote back! He actually wrote back! Wait...why was I getting so giddy over him messaging me back?

...Are you kidding me? I wasn't even expecting a letter after the twincest thing! I thought that was a little much, especially since we just starting talking to one another...

Our conversation lasted all night, the time slipping right past me. Our messages to one another led to almost anything, topics from the weather to what we liked to draw to whether we would super strength or super intelligence. I've never talked to a guy like this or for this long. Online talking was so much easier than face-to-face talking. Even if Red Hue's webpage design hurt my eyes, I was beginning to think that maybe pairing people up based on interests was a pretty good idea. Then again, what if our relationship didn't go anywhere past the friendship aspect? What if talking to one another was where our comfort zone was and we never grew out of it?

Ripley, calm down. You just met the guy.

Okay, me, I'm calm...maybe...no, no, I am calm.

I was expecting our conversation to continue, but when the knock on the door for the papers happened, my shoulders slouched in disappointment. ...I have to go. The papers were delivered just now and I have to fold them up and deliver them. Paper route... I'll send a message when I get home tonight. I'm going to be busy today... Was it a good thing that I dreaded logging off just so I could fold those stupid papers? There I was, enjoying myself and actually laughing at some of the things he said, and I had to end that all so selfish people could get their newspapers. Didn't they know I had a potential Red Hue soul mate?!

Maybe I could sneak a message in after I deliver papers...

Nope, that didn't happen. After driving around in the cold for so long, I came home, trudged up the stairs, opened the door, and fell on the couch in exhaustion. I was a goner in less than five minutes.

...\~/...

"WAKEY, WAKEY!" a voice screamed.

I jerked out of my sleep, slowly wiping away the drool that leaked out the corner of my mouth. I jumped when I noticed my four roommates looming over me, all with their arms crossed and smirks on their faces. I groaned, checking my phone, seeing that it was eight thirty-nine. "Guys, come on. Let me sleep..." I muttered, turning away from them. Those devils... They waited until I was dozing off until they screamed again, shaking me awake. I looked over my shoulder at them, glaring, and I was glaring straight at MJ because she was the one shouting that infuriating 'wakey wakey'. Seriously, couldn't they let me sleep in? That's when I heard my phone buzz, the sound immediately waking me up, sending me in a sitting position. Answering it without looking at the caller ID, I frowned and said, "Oh, it's you."

"Thanks, sissy, you sound so happy to hear from me."

"I thought...you were someone else..."

"Dad was wondering when you were coming in to work. Well?"

"Oh yeah, work, gotcha. I'll be in there soon. Just give me an hour."

"Fine. I'll tell dad. Talk to you later."

"Yeah, bye." Mark always seemed to put me on edge.

I began to get up when Renee pushed me back down, returning her arms in a crossed position. "You're not leaving until you tell us about your Red Hue friend." she said. A sort of growl left me, "Do I have to?" I asked. They all nodded. So, I told them. I talked about Hikaru liking chemistry, how he surprised the same person over and over again with a hand buzzer, about how he had a bucket list too and that we even had something on it that was the same; talked about how he came up with the 'five questions' strategy to bring more things to talk about during our night-long conversation, how we both like roller coasters, and so on and so forth.

"And," I said with a grin, staring directly at Dawn. "He has a twin named Kaoru."

My red-faced friend gasped excitedly, "Have they ever done twincest before?! Have they ever-"

I held up a hand to silence her. "That's all I'm going to give away, ladies. My Red Hue friend will remain a secret now until later." I stood up, Renee granting me the ability to do so. "So, if you excuse me, I have to get ready. I have a grueling day's work ahead of me." I shifted around Renee, walking into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Maybe I could send a quick message to Hikaru, telling him to have a nice day or something. No...no, that would make it seem like I was too eager to start talking again. Wait, did guys like eagerness in women, or did they like space between times when they talked? What if I did put a lot of space between our last conversation and our next? What if he thought I was ignoring him or something? GAH! Why was this so hard?! I thought talking to men was supposed to be a good experience, but all this is doing is putting a lot of pressure on me! I'll just ask Joey or Quin (Mark would just be an asshole about it) and get their input on things.

Hopefully they won't be assholes about it either.

...\~/...

They were assholes. Well, Joey was sort of being an ass...

"Why do you even want to talk to this guy? He could be some prick for all we know." Joey said, picking up a log piece, carrying it in his arms towards the trailer. I picked up my own, scurrying towards him so I could reply to him. "Judging by the conversation we had last night, I can safely assume this guy is not a prick. Seriously though, do guys like eagerness or girls that are laid-back? I know that text-bombing someone can get annoying, so I'm not going to do that, but when should I talk to him next? Should I-"

Joey turned towards me when he threw his log on the trailer. "You're making this whole process too complicated. You need to stop questioning and just talk to him when you want to talk to him. Look, I don't even want you dating this guy..."

"Then what was up with all those tips to getting a guy's attention? How about all those guys that would want to date me? Aha, I knew you were lying to me?! Besides, when do you expect me to date anyway?"

"...never..."

"Joey, that's stupid. I'm twenty-two, so I'm going to have to think about dating someone someday."

Joey sighed, "I never thought the day would come when my little sister would ask about dating guys. I feel like I'm giving 'the talk'."

"Well...?"

His directed his dark brown eyes at me. "Ripley, just be yourself. It seemed to work last night based on what you told me, so continuing doing so. And don't...think, okay? You're putting too much thought into something so simple."

"But-"

"No buts, just talk to him at break."

"Fine. Whatever." I muttered, throwing another log onto the trailer. "I'll just...be my boring self!"

...\~/...

Dear Hikaru,

I managed to sneak in a message while no one was looking. How's your day so far, Mr. Hitachiin?

From,

Ripley B.

P.S. Is it still snowing there?

...\~/...

Dear Ripley,

What exactly are you doing? And how was your paper route? Also, my day's been pretty crappy so far. You?

From,

Hikaru H.

P.S. No, it's not snowing anymore. I have a feeling my friends are going back to Massachusetts today. Sadness...

...\~/...

It felt good when Hikaru ranted to me about his failed previous date, the brute that beat him up, and how the guy that beat him was an ex-convict, who had just got out for murdering someone. So, I guess hearing all this also put me on edge because I couldn't really do anything to help. I already dreaded the thousands of miles between us. But he trusted me enough to tell me all this, right? Or was I reading too much into these messages. Hikaru outright told me that he had insulted her, something that most people would skip over just so they would look good, but he had been willing to suffer any judgment on my part. And what was up with this girl that he had taken out on a date? At least he tried to apologize for what he said, although Hikaru never told me what he said to piss her off so much.

I was about to type back when my phone was snatched from my hands. Looking up, I saw Mark standing there, looking over my messages. I jumped up, trying to get it back, but that dumbass would just pull it out of reach. "I hope you're not saying anything naughty to your new boyfriend!" he teased, snickering at what he said. I felt my face heat up at his comment. "I just met him! Why would I do something like that?!"

His reply made me blush even more. "Well, I've done some dirty things over the phone plenty of times with girls I'd just met! Why would it be any different with him?"

"Uh, because he's not a pig like you!" I shouted, successfully grabbing my phone out of his hands. "He's a gentleman." I guess I wasn't going to be able to write back for awhile. Why'd Mark have to find out about Hikaru? Now all he was going to do was torment me about it. Before I could message Hikaru about having to go, my dad shouted at me to get back to work. "Hold on! I...just..." I trailed off, about to press 'send' on my good-bye message when Mark grabbed my phone out of my hands. "Mark, give that back!"

"God, such a whiney-ass. You heard dad, slacker, get back to work."

"I just want to-"

"You can't always get what you want, sissy. Chop, chop; back to work!"

"You're an unsufferable ass..."

"Charmed, you twit."

---

December 19th, 10:19 A.M.:

We were all gathered about Dawn, who had fainted and crumpled to the floor in a spazzing mess. Reason for the fainting? I told her that Hikaru and his twin brother had gone all the way. There were times when she would utter the words 'twins' and 'sexy, but other than that, she was out cold. Erika poked Dawn continuously in the forehead, saying the word 'poke' over and over again until our fainted friend's eyes fluttered open, looking directly at me. "Seme or uke?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is he the seme or uke in the relationship?"

"Oh...uh...I'll ask him later and give you a report, okay?"

"Okay..."

I hustled into our bedroom after I helped walk Dawn over to the couch, where she plopped down after her knees buckled. Ah, the effect of finding out there were twins out there that had actually indulged in sexual activity. Must've really been a surprise to her...well, she did faint after all. I climbed onto one of the beds, laying on my stomach as I typed away on my phone, compiling a worry-filled message that consisted of me rooting for Tara (whom I was beginning to like) and asking lots and lots of questions. And rambling... Shit, I ramble even in my writing...

...I like your rambling...

He wrote that! Hikaru wrote that! Usually my rambling got on people's nerves, but he said he liked it! If Hikaru could make me feel this giddy after only knowing him for three days, I'd hate to see how he'd make me feel in the many months to come. Of course, only if we talk for that long... I hoped we would talk for a long time. ...my face is feeling fine. I'm staying with Tara's dad for right now so things can settle down... Relief washed over me when I read that. I was very glad he was going alright. ...I miss sleeping in the same bed as my brother and I miss my butler singing 'Irish Lullaby' to us every night. I'm probably going to watch the Christmas Day Parade and then do nothing. What I want? I want Kaoru to come visit me. I miss him a lot. I wish he'd just come live with me. And I guess I'm scared about losing my friends and family...

"Awww...he's so cute..." I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. "I did not just say that." Oh yes, yes you did, Ripley. Damn...

My question to him was if he'd ever written a love letter.

...I've never written a love letter, but I want to. Mind if I send one to you?...

I was sad to see him go.

"Hey, Dawn, he said he was seme!"

Was that Dawn gurgling I heard in the distance?

...\~/...

"Ripley, you just spent all your money on a guy you met three days ago." MJ stated, trying to keep up with my quick pace.

"I don't care. I think Hikaru's spending Christmas alone and I thought he might want a pick-me-up, so I'm sending him a care package."

"Then why couldn't you get the games at Gamestop or something?"

I stopped, MJ almost running into me. "...I didn't think about that." A shrug followed after. "Whatever. What's done is done."

"You can always return them."

"Too much of a hassle. Oh, you and Dawn can be in charge of the manga and art supplies, okay? I'd really appreciate it."

"Alright, and to think the games weren't enough..."

"Nope!"

---

December 25th, 7:23 A.M.:

For some reason, the holidays always got me down. Probably because my mind always thinks back to the years where my family couldn't afford a Christmas and we'd treat the holiday like any other day. Twenty-two years old and the magic is sort of...gone. It was getting to the point I liked giving presents instead of receiving, a trait you saw when I got all those gifts for Hikaru. Speaking of which, I hope he got my care package and I hope it made him smile, especially since it's Christmas. Hey, just because I didn't necessarily like the holiday didn't mean I couldn't hope everyone else had a good one. Like my roommates, they've been excited about this day since the end of Thanksgiving. As a matter of fact, they've been excited about December altogether. We had many traditions; baking sugar cookies and decorating them (MJ said we had to do this), ice-skating once every week (we've all gotten pretty good), watching White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye (another tradition MJ brought into this household, but for some reason she refuses to think I like it, which I really do), painting ornaments (this is something I did as a kid and thought we'd give it a try. Well, everyone enjoyed doing it, so we now do it every year), and many, many more traditions.

I really hope Hikaru got my gift...

The door to our bedroom creaked open and I heard Dawn ask, "Ripley, are you awake?"

"Yes..." I said in a low voice. I knew what came next.

"Guys, she's up! Ripley, come open your presents!"

I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands, slowly sitting out. I climbed out of bed, shuffling into the living room. Our Christmas tree was lit up with multi-colored lights, wrapped with garland and popcorn, our hand-painted ornaments dotting the tree, and festively wrapped presents sat under it, just begging to be opened. We took turns opening ours, even though Renee would always begin to unwrap hers while everyone else was ripping the paper off theirs. Seeing their reactions when they opened one of mine was enough for me, which may seem kind of stupid, but that's how I felt. I ended up getting three presents, one of them being Assassin's Creed III, which had been around sixty dollars, so they'd all pitched in some money to get it. I also got an Aperture Laboratories lanyard and an Avengers poster that I had my eyes on for awhile at Wal-Mart. Pretty good crop of gifts, I must say.

"We should start getting ready." MJ said, standing up.

"Why? We don't have to meet everyone until noon and it's..." I looked up at the clock. "...almost eight o'clock."

Every year, ever since MJ and I graduated, we would have a big get-together with all of our families. Usually, we would have it at a restaurant or something, but since it was so warm outside, we were meeting at a my dad's house, deciding to have a cook-out. It's December; it should not be this warm outside.

"Oh right," I started, giving a sly grin. "You do have to start getting ready now. Ya know, since it takes you like five hours..."

"Now it doesn't!" MJ shouted before she closed the bathroom door.

It was quiet and we could hear the shower starting from inside the bathroom. That's when Dawn said, "She didn't even ask if anyone needed to take a dump."

Face palm...

...\~/...

It was when we were at the get-together when I got this message:

Ripley,

Call me. 917-867-5309.

Hikaru

P.S. I need someone to talk to.

Oh God, he wanted me to call him! And I have a fear of talking to people over the phone! Oh God, oh God, oh GOD! What if I say something incredibly stupid or insensitive? What if I sound too pessimistic or maybe too optimistic? I had no idea what kind of girls Hikaru liked, so... That's when Joey's voice echoed through my mind, him telling me to be myself and all. I hurried into the bathroom after excusing myself from the company, shutting the door and hearing the soft click. I sighed, sinking to the floor. But what if my normal self wasn't good enough? Another sigh... For some reason, I really wanted to impress this guy, probably because he's the first person of the opposite gender (outside my family) that I've talked to longer than two minutes. Hikaru was a special case because of that.

I looked forward, arching one eyebrow, and said in a low and seductive (at least...I think it was seductive...) voice, "Hello, Hikaru, it's me, Ripley." Nope, only use that voice if I wanted to scare him off. Uh... I faked a smile, saying in a cheerful voice this time, "Hey, Hikaru, what's up?" Maybe I should say that, but without the up-beat, gag worthy voice.

I inhaled and exhaled slowly. It'd been twenty minutes since he sent the message and here I was, fretting over what voice to use when I greeted him.

Ripley, you're such a wuss.

Fine, just to prove that I'm not a wuss, I'll call him right now! Ha! See?! I'm not a-

Oh shit, I just called him...

Ringing...

Ringing...

"H-Hello?" His voice...he answered...

"Uh, is this Hikaru Hitachiin?"

"N-No, you've got t-the wrong number." For real?! No way! But I-

"Oh! I'm...uh...I'm sorry!"

"I'm j-just kidding. T-This i-is Hikaru H-Hitachiin." Ahaha, oh Hikaru, you jokester, you... Almost giving me a heart attack...

"Oh... Please, don't do that to me. I already have an irrational fear of talking to people on the phone..."

I liked the sound of his voice, even if it wasn't the deep voice I always dreamed of. Smooth and it sent a shiver down my spine, in the good way of course. He had a stutter, though. Never told me about a stutter...

"Just to make sure you're not some creeper leading me on: what are my three older brothers' names?"

"M-Mark, Quin, a-and Joey. Clever t-trick."

"Thanks." A loud banging on the other side of the door made me nearly jump out of my skin. "Hey, sissy, come on out! We have family here and you need to talk to them!" It went quiet and Mark added cheekily, "Ohhh, are you talking to your boyfriend? And talking to him in the bathroom and in private no less. You're not doing something...sexual in there, are you?" My face went hot, the warmth spreading all the way to my ears. "Go away, Mark!" I yelled, banging on the door. I hope Hikaru didn't hear that... When I heard him walk away, I whispered, "God...dumbass..."

I heard Hikaru give a weak chuckle. "W-What are y-you doing r-right now?"

"We're at that get-together I was telling you about. Are you outside or something? You sound cold."

"I a-am cold. I'm s-stuck outside w-with n-no coat on."

"Well, get inside! I don't want you dying from frostbite, especially when you're on the phone with me! Do you know how traumatized that would leave me?" New York was way up there in the north, so I couldn't help but believe it was freezing where he was. More importantly, what was he doing outside in the cold without a coat?! Get inside, get inside!

"Um...a l-lot?"

"Uh...yeah? I'd have to go back to therapy!"

"Y-You've been t-to t-therapy?"

"Junior year of high school. Don't worry; I'm not...wait, maybe I am crazy..." I trailed of when I said that. There could be a possibility that I'm crazy...

"G-Great. My p-possible soul mate is a l-loon." he said with a laugh.

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

Mark started pounding on the door again, "Sissy, get out of the bathroom!"

"No! Go away!" He did after banging his fist on the door a couple more times just to irritate me.

"You're in the bathroom?" Crap, if he heard that, was he able to hear the sexual remark Mark said earlier? It would truly be the end of my life if he did..

"It's the only quiet place in the house right now. Can you believe it's almost eighty degrees over here?"

"I can believe it. What'd you call it? The Bi-Polar Weather State?"

"Hey! You remembered! It's December! I wanted snow today and then I wanted it all to disappear by tomorrow." Did I really just sound that cheerful? Nuh uh.

"Not a big fan of snow?"

"Ever since I got my driver's license, no. And the sludge afterwards depresses the hell out of me." I feel like we've had this conversation before.

I was laying on the floor, my feet planted against the bathroom door to keep it closed. I noticed he wasn't stuttering anymore. Hopefully he had found somewhere warm and huddled in there to heat up. Out of nowhere, I started humming Foster the People's 'Waste', a song about one person staying beside their significant other, helping them get over their past and standing with them no matter what obstacles they faced. Out of every love song I've ever listened to, that was the one that I thought was the most romantic in its own weird way. It was quiet between us, but it wasn't awkward, thankfully.

"What are you humming?"

"Oh...uh...it's called Waste by Foster the People. Ever heard of them?"

"Can't believe I have."

"You are so deprived, child."

"Have you ever had instant coffee?"

"Yes."

"Damn it, can't call you deprived then."

"Ha! Face it! I'm the more experienced out of the two of us."

"Mmm, not yet. I'll find something you haven't tried or heard of. Just you wait."

"Have to tell you; I'm not one for patience, so find something quickly."

A fuckin' third time. Mark came up to the door to pound his fist against the door, yelling at me to get out. Seriously, why couldn't he stop? This was why Mark and I would always fight; he never knew when to stop. No, he'd push and push and push until I couldn't take it anymore, and blow a gasket. Since my attitude had grown darker and darker since my third year of middle school, my temper was something that easily went off. The two of us have had fistfights before, Joey coming in to break it up when I broke Mark's nose and he displaced my shoulder. There were times when I hated being around Mark and I sometimes dreaded the thought of being with him. Now, don't get me wrong; there were times when we've actually been civil with one another and enjoyed one another's company and in the long run I guessed I loved him, but for the most part I despised him (of course, I despise him lovingly).

"Are you scamming me?"

Well, that took me by surprise.

"What? Scamming you...?"

Silence on his part.

"Why do you think I'm scamming you? Did I say something wrong?"

"You didn't say anything wrong. A friend of mine did. She said for me to be careful."

After careful consideration, I said, "Well, she's smart. There are a lot of desperate people out there. My dad's girlfriend being one of them..." I didn't try to hide the bitterness in my voice when I mentioned my dad's girlfriend.

"You think she's smart for doubting you?"

"Well...yeah. Scammers are all over the Internet. I make my own money; I don't need anybody else's."

I hope I didn't give Hikaru any reason to not trust me.

"Here's another question: do you think I'm stupid for being mad at someone when they haven't done anything wrong?"

"Mmm, what are you mad at them about?"

" A girl a friend of mine liked fell for the guy I'm mad at rather than my friend. I'm really close to the guy so I feel angry right along with him."

"...uh...well, it wasn't the guy's fault that the girl fell for him, right? Not unless he did some weird brainwashing scheme; if he did do that, then I guess it's his fault, but I'm assuming he didn't, so it isn't his fault." Jesus Christ, I sucked at this.

"I can tell you're not good at answering deep questions." WHY?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO NOTICE?!

"Unless it's between two of my characters in a story, then no, I'm not. This is more of MJ's department. She's the one going into psychology and all. Maybe you should ring her up and talk to her."

"I have a feeling she would interrogate me on whether or not I'd make a good soulmate for you rather than answer my thought-provoking questions."

Yeah, that sounds about right.

"Ah, you're probably right."

"I have another call. I'll be right back."

"'kay."

A couple minutes later, Hikaru's spine-shivering voice entered my ear again.

"Hey, Rip, I have to go. Everyone's waiting for me."

No... No, don't go...

"Okay. I have to go, too. I had to pull the door close because Mark was trying to open it and drag me out."

He chuckled, "Alright. Kick him in the shin for me, will ya?"

"Ha! I'll do worse than that! Oh, and Hikaru," Maybe I was wrong in assuming, but when he asked me his friend question earlier, I heard how his voice sounded...oh, what's the word? Tortured? Conflicted? "Whatever's going on, I hope you can get over it quickly, okay?"

"...yeah...okay..." It sounded like he didn't want to end this call either.

"Alright, well, I'll try and message you tonight. Or call, since I have your number now."

"Alright...see ya..." Aw, Hikaru, don't sound like that! You're making me feel guilty!

"Yep!" Click.

...

...

...

ARRRRRRGHHHHHH! WHY'D I SOUND SO ENTHUSIASTIC WHEN I HUNG UP?!

---

December 28th, 3:30 P.M.:

It wasn't three days later when there was a knock on our door. Everyone had gone out grocery shopping while I stayed home and rested after another day outside. Opening the door, a mailman was revealed with a huge box in his arms. He set it down carefully, "Are you Ripley Barrett?" he asked. Nodding my head, he held out a touch-screen device and stylus. "Can you sign here, please?" Signing it, he picked up the box, carrying it into the apartment, setting it down on the floor. "Can you wait a moment? There was something else for you. I'll be right back."

I closed the door behind him, hurrying over to my package. Taking out my car keys (on my new Aperture Laboratories lanyard), I sliced the packing tape in half, peeling the box flaps apart. Before I could get a look at the contents, another knock at the door made me jump up and run over to answer the door. There was mailman, this time holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I took them gently, gawking. The bouquet was a gorgeous blend of orange roses, light purple cremones, and matching carnations and mums, all held together in a dark purple, curvy vase. They smelled amazing and there was no way I could've hid my huge smile.

"Have a nice day, ma'am!" the mailman said.

"Uh...you too!" I called out, shutting the door.

After I set the bouquet on the kitchen table, I picked out a small envelope that was nestled amongst the blossoms. On the front, written in cursive was My First Love Letter.

My Dearest Love,

I have not seen you in person, but judging from your voice, I can only assume you are a beautiful person, inside and out. At this point in time, I can only count the minutes I spend waiting for your messages, and I now have to live in agony waiting for you to call, so I can hear the gorgeous tones of your voice. You bring light into my dark world and you allow me to see the path ahead of me clearly. Please, never stop these wondrous things you do to me.

Sincerely Yours,

Mister Hikaru Hitachiin

I called Hikaru immediately.

"Hey, what's-" he greeted, but I cut him off.

"Thank you so much for the letter!"

"You got the letter! That's awesome, but it was my pleas-"

"No one's ever done this for me before..." It kind of slipped out. At this point in time, I really didn't care if my voice was shaky or if I sounded absolutely pathetic, but I've never felt this special before. All my life, I've been over-looked, no matter how much I tried to get people to notice, but this time I felt important. I felt like someone was looking at me finally.

"Heh, really? I'm..." What he said next made me blush. "...kind of glad I was your first love letter."

Maybe we really would get past the friendship stage...

---

Janurary 18th, 4:48 P.M.:

A whole month has gone by since I met Hikaru over Red Hue.

It had gotten to the point where I called him every day, talking to him for hours on end, sneaking messages to him when I could. The best part was that he never seemed bothered by the fact I called him so much. The excitement of talking to a man for so long never subsided. In fact, each day that I talked to him only fueled the excitement, a feat that I thought would never be acheived was actually being done. Hikaru always did and said things that would make me feel like the most important and beautiful person in the world, like sending me flowers every two weeks or telling me to careful when I went to work. He had become such a worry-wart when it came to my job, especially after the incident where a saw sliced right through the first knuckle on three of my fingers. I'm not even going to go into detail about Hikaru's hysterical rant when I accidentally sent him the pictures, which were actually meant for my mom. Was it bad for me to think that a panicked Hikaru was pretty adorable?

I'd gotten used to calling him 'Hika' and he'd gotten fond of referring to me as his 'little night owl'. Yeah, yeah, yeah; get it out of your system now. Blek, how sickeningly sweet of them to have pet names for one another. Trust me, I used to think so too, but then I got used to it. Thank the Lord he doesn't call me 'baby' or 'babe'. I probably would've puked if he did...because 'baby' is what my dad and his girlfriend call each other. Shit, I just puked in my mouth... Anyway, one of the things I like most about Hikaru is his voice. It was always so smooth and gave me goosebumps most of the time. The way he says my name, the way he laughs, or just about anything he says gives me shivers.

I was trying to keep these feelings to myself as I played with my brothers over the Xbox.

And I just so added Hikaru to my friend's list...

Invited him to our party and game.

And that's when things went downhill.

So, we're playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, right? And my brothers are obsessed with it and skilled players, right? Well, I'll be honest with you, Hikaru's kind of...decent when it comes to the game. ...okay, he might be a little skaky, but that's okay! There's always room for improvement! I mean, I'm not that good at Call of Duty either, so Hikaru and I will forever suck at this game together. On with the story though; my brothers kicked me out of the game and forced Hikaru to fend for himself against them.

"C'mon, Hikaru, they're all assholes! Nothing but insignificant, heartless cowards! C'mon, win for me!" I don't know if my words got to him, but I noticed this short-lived spike in his point intake. The stress of having three players against one must've gotten to him, however, because Hikaru's point meter hadn't increased until the time limit ended. I could only imagine the disappointment Hikaru must be feeling.

But every cloud has a silver lining.

xXxHell's~Personal~HarpyxXx has joined your party.

. ::Shadow::King.::. has joined your party.

And that's when shit went down!

My brothers allowed me back into the game and it was now between me, Hikaru, Tara, and Kyoya and my brothers. A fair game, I must say. And we were kicking ass.

But that's when it happened.

I heard a door slam through someone's connection and Hikaru started talking to someone outside the party.

"So, are you going to tell her about the other woman?"

My hands gripped my game controller tightly, my knuckles turning white. What other woman? Did that mean...? No, Hikaru would never do something like that. After all the times we've talked to one another and the flowers he sent me, they all had to mean something, right? He was always so nice to me and made me feel amazing, even if we've only known each other for a month. A tried to swallow the lump that formed in the base of my throat, but failed. After hearing those words, it was like a large amount of weight was dropped on my shoulders, skin prickling like thousands of needles were being shoved into my skin, and it stung. I shook my head violently. No, there was no other woman.

There couldn't be...

"Other woman? What other fuckin' woman? Shit, I knew he was a rotten bastard!" Quin's voice yelled through the speakers. I already knew I was going to get an earfull about this later.

"Hika, what is she talking about?" I asked, my voice betraying me. I wanted to sound casual, but ended up sounding so small and...hurt.

I didn't get an answer. All I got was a notification that Hikaru had left the party.

That only made me think that there really was something he was hiding.

...\~/...

Hikaru seemed to have a lot of turmoil in his life. There had been numerous occasions when he talked about how lonely he was in his apartment by himself and how it always made him happy when he had some kind of company over. He'd told me about the women he once dated, but always ended in messy break-ups, saying he was never the cause of them. He had had failed dates with all kinds of women, but all of them a failure. To be honest, whenever he talked about girls he had dated, I would get this burning sensation in the pit of my stomach that could only be one thing: jealousy. Even though he'd done and said things that made me feel like I was the only one for him, I knew that I hadn't been the only woman in his life. Nope, he had many more before I came along. He had had other women that he sent flowers to and been charming to and showed his vulnerable side to. Thinking all these thoughts made me sigh, running over a curled petal that belonged to a dying flower from the last bouquet Hikaru had sent me.

So, are you going to tell her about the other woman?

Those words echoed throughout my head, bouncing off wherever they could. I kept on asking myself one question: Why would Hikaru keep me around if he had another woman in his life? I'd like to think I had made some kind of impact on him and he wanted to keep me around, but what if I had grown boring to him a while back and he was just waiting for the perfect time to tell me the news?

I really liked Hikaru...

I picked up my phone, scrolling through my favorites until I reached Hikaru's name. Ringing filled my ear as I waited for him to pick up. Half of me wanted him to answer while the other half wanted him to ignore it. When Hikaru's voice entered my ear, however, I was taken aback by how eager he sounded. "Hello?" It was like he was excited to hear from me, even if we've talked almost every day.

"Hey..." I answered back, cursing myself for sounding so pitiful. "I just called to say good night. I'm going to be-"

"Ripley, I need to explain about earlier. I had no idea that Syd was-"

"Hikaru, are you really ready to tell me?"

"No...I'm not..."

"Then don't rush yourself. Just tell me when you're ready, okay?"

"Thank you, Ripley...thank you so much... Are you...alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!"

No, I wasn't fine.

"Well, I have to go to bed. We had a bunch of calls come in today and weren't able to finish, so-"

"Wait!" he cried out. "Can you...I want...will you please...no, no you need your sleep."

"Hika, what is it?"

"Can you... Can you talk to me for awhile? I like the sound of your voice." I heard him gasp, like it was something he wanted to keep to himself, but slipped out. My face was heating up, a feat Hikaru always managed to pull off. "I mean I-I...well, I...I meant, um-"

"Yeah, I can talk to you for awhile."

I was the kind of person that always listened, never really engaging in conversation. Hikaru, on the other hand, brought the talkative side of me out, and he was always the one that kept quiet and listened. It felt good to just sit there and talk for hours on end about anything. Our conversation topics were never related, always random, and I liked it that way. But tonight, he barely said a word. There could've been the possibility he just wanted to be reassured that I wasn't peeved at him, which I wasn't.

Just...I wished he would tell me what was going on.

"I guess I just want you to know that I'm here for you."

"Ripley..."

"I mean, you seem to have a lot going on in your life right now. I just...I'm here for you if you need anything." I wanted nothing more than for him to be comfortable in this relationship. "Hika, I have to turn in, okay?"

"Yeah... I'll talk to you tomorrow some time."

"Alright. Good night." Click

And I wanted him to be happy...

---

February 14th, 2:14 P.M.:

Eggs

Milk

Coffee and coffee creamer

Bagels

Cereal - Raisin Bran, Cheerios, and Lucky Charms

Candy for my BOYFRIEND - SOMETHING YOU DON'T HAVE! :D

I growled when I read that, wadding the list in a ball, and throwing it down. Right now, I didn't give a damn if I was littering or not, even if the woman behind me told me it was wrong to do so. Shut up, woman, you don't know the mental and emotional torture I'm being put through right now! A shaky sigh left me as I pushed my cart down the aisle, weaving through the other shoppers. All of them were interacting with their significant others! WHY?! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME?! Practically quivering in anger right now, I whipped around the corner, my cart slamming right into someone else's. We both let out yelps of surprise and I looked over to apologize, but when I saw who it was, I wish I hadn't.

"Ripley! Oh my God, long time no see!" the woman exclaimed, running around her cart so she could pull me into hug. I hugged back, albeit a little awkwardly, since I wasn't exactly the kind of person that passed out hugs to any random stranger. The woman pulled back, pushing her light blonde hair out her face, a huge smile on her face. Oh, let me introduce you to Katie Bomber, one out of the handful of people that graduated from my high school in the top ten percent. After graduation, I had walked past her, and this is what I heard her say, "Oh, I knew I was going to be in the top ten percent since freshman year, so it was no surprise when they announced my name." And she had said this with her little laugh and a wave of her hand, like it was no big deal at all. So, you can conclude that she was a difficult person to be around. Now that I was facing her once again, I wanted nothing more than to disappear.

"We haven't talk in like forever! I'm too busy with my classes and job to get on Facebook anymore, so I haven't talked to anyone from my high school in a long time."

And I wouldn't have felt bad if I were one of the people you never talked to again. "That's a shame. I'm pretty busy too. Three jobs and all..."

"Oh really? How are your classes going or are you even going to college? I remember how you always complained about school, so I assumed you wouldn't go to college. But kudos to you if you are!"

Calm yourself, Ripley. NO! BAD RIPLEY! PUT THAT FIST DOWN! Now smile...yes, there you- no, that's a grimace...good enough, I guess...

"I'm going to Barkman and trying to get my degrees in game design and development. Paying my way through college, ya know."

"Oh, my parents are paying for my tuition." Fan-fuckin'-tastic for you! Before I could respond, Katie held out her hand, and I was almost blinded. On her ring finger was the hugest diamond I've ever seen. It was colossal, gigantic, huge! "My boyfriend proposed to me today! Can you believe it?" Unfortunately, I can; really don't want to. "Are you married yet?" Katie asked in a curious voice.

"No..."

"Aw," Katie said, her bottom lip sticking out in an effort to display a sad face. "You'll find someone!"

"I already have someone..." I grumbled.

"What was that?"

"I, uh, am really glad you found someone! Congrats!"

"Thanks!" She gave me another hug, "Well, I have to finish my shopping and head on home! Chat with me some time?"

"Yeah! That'd be great!" Over my dead body!

"Buh-bye!"

I watched her walk around me and turn into a different aisle.

I should've earned an Oscar for that performance.

...\~/...

My Wal-Mart adventures didn't end with Katie, however.

So, I was minding my own business when all of a sudden, a heavy weight was thrown onto my back, a pair of arms wrapping themselves around my neck. My immediate reaction was to bend the pinky of one of the hands, causing the person to yelp in pain and bring their arms back. I whipped around, my car key between my fingers, ready to punch whoever it was. When I saw who it was, I let out a confused, "Tosh?" A smile came from the man before me and he wrapped his arms around me, literally picking me up off the ground, and twirled me around once before setting me down. And that's when his lips pressed against my cheek ever so softly, lingering for a moment.

"Nice to see you, sweetie." he said, grabbing my hands and swinging them from side to side.

"Y-yeah..." I said, my voice cracking.

"A bit jumpy, though..."

"Well, how would you react if someone hugged you from behind?"

Before he could respond, I watched as a man walked up to Tosh from behind, pressing a finger to his lips to signal silence on my part. Then, he wrapped his arms around Tosh's neck from behind. The new man smiled at me, winking. I fought against my gag reflex and the urge to turn and walk away, but Tosh still had a hold of my hands, me being too weak-willed to pull my hands out of his.

"Ripley, this is my boyfriend, Oliver." Tosh introduced. Oliver reached a hand out, which gave me plenty of reason to pull my hands out of Tosh's grasp and shake Oliver's.

"Well, I have to-"

"Aw, do you have a special someone?!" Tosh asked, rushing over to my cart and picking up a box of candies.

"Uh, sort of. I thought maybe I should send those to him..."

"That's so adorable! I bet he can't keep his hands off you." he said, giving me a wink.

My face flushed, "He lives in New York City. We're talking over Red Hue."

Even though I found Tosh slightly creepy, I still got along with him. He was good to talk to and fun to be around, just as long as he kept his hands to himself, so I had no problem telling him that I was talking to someone. I halfway wished that I could tell him that I was seeing someone, but since Hikaru and I weren't exactly dating, I didn't have the right to say something like that. Watching Tosh put the chocolates back in my cart, I had to wonder if Hikaru would appreciate something of low quality, him being rich and all, so I assumed that he was used to higher quality chocolates from foreign countries. Great, now my many minds were debating on whether I should get them for him or not. It was Valentine's Day, and no matter how much I despised the damn holiday, I thought it was only polite to get something for Hikaru.

Tosh said his farewells moments later, telling me that he and his boyfriend had to finish shopping.

My shoulders fell soon afterward, the box of chocolates in hand.

"I should get him something more expensive..."

...\~/...

"I got a boyfriend and you don't! I got a boyfriend and you don't! I got a boyfriend and you-"

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, reaching in the box labeled 'Stuff Ripley Can Thrown On Valentine's Day'. I threw a super-glued plate on the ground, satisfied by the crash it made, the plate breaking into six pieces. Then another and another, I failed to hear MJ talking to someone on my phone over the blaring heavy metal music coming out of the stereo and the stress-relieving sounds of things breaking.

"Um...hi...I'm Kaoru..."

Okay, I heard that. The whole apartment went quiet, the music shut off and me ceasing in my destroying of everything in my path. That voice, with its rasp and gentle undertone was enough to send me over the edge. I dove towards the phone, squealing "SO CUTE!" with Dawn and Erika. "Oh my God, Kaoru, you have such an adorable voice! Say something else! Please?" I exclaimed excitedly. It was surprising how much I reacted, but I just couldn't contain it. "Hey, Dawn, he sounds like that one voice actor...ya know, the one that does that really cute, childish voice!"

"Thanks, guys. I have to say, though; that's the first time I've ever gotten a compliment like that!"

Oh my gosh, so adorable...

And Kaoru's cuteness didn't stop at his voice. His personality was warm and cheerful, a big contrast to Hikaru, who was usually dark and bitter. He talked about how much he loved his brother, something I found rather admirable since I want to strangle mine on a daily basis; he and Hikaru had only ever been in one serious fight, the rest being theatrical when they were bored. Kaoru told us about his job and three designers that he worked with often; about how he met Clarisse and what she was like. I could hear Hikaru grumbling about something in the background, causing me to laugh silently. I always found his complaining rather amusing.

Then, Kaoru said, "They just met me and they already love me."

"Yeah...they sure do."

"Hikaru...don't..." Kaoru said warningly, his voice low.

My heart seemed to stop when Hikaru shouted, "Well, if she loves you so much, why doesn't Ripley go after you instead!"

"What the hell is wrong with him?" MJ asked sharply.

"Hikaru...well...he was hurt by someone a long time ago and he's still wounded by it. Because of that, he's even more afraid that people he cares about will be taken away from him, but even before, when we were kids, he was like that. Hikaru's always been possessive and gets jealous easily...sometimes too easily. So, if Hikaru ever lashes out, please don't take it offensively. He just...doesn't know how to control his emotions very well and shows them rather rudely."

So, are you going to tell her about the other woman?

Ripley, I need to explain about earlier. I had no idea that Syd was-

Hikaru, are you really ready to tell me?

That day came rushing back. Syd saying 'other woman', Hikaru being not ready to tell me the truth, and now Kaoru saying that he was hurt by someone and hadn't fully recovered from it. Possessiveness being one of Hikaru's main traits it seemed. I wasn't stupid, I could see the pattern of things. Maybe the person Kaoru was referring to was the other woman Syd mentioned and because of Hikaru's possessive nature and fear of people being taken away from him probably meant that he was still hung up on this possible woman. The burning in the pit of my stomach fired up again, a tingling sensation sweeping up my spine. No, I couldn't feel like this right now, especially when Hikaru's hurt voice kept on ringing in my ears.

"Should I talk to him?" Ripley asked.

"Erm...no. He may say hurtful things, so let me talk to him, okay?"

"Yeah...alright. I didn't want to make him mad."

"He's also hot-headed. Anything can happen..." Kaoru chuckled. "So, talk to you guys later maybe?"

My roommates agreed while I stayed quiet.

...\~/...

"Guys, I appreciate you taking me out to ice cream and everything, but you can stop with the cheerfulness. It's freaking me out." I said, my voice low and bland. I knew they were faking it...or at least Renee was because she had laughed at almost everything I said and she never did that. It was a shame that MJ couldn't come. She had said something about needing to get a paper done. Dawn parked her car in the driveway, Renee and I having to wait for someone to let us out since Dawn's back doors didn't have handles on the inside. Erika let me out, giving me a hug once I got out. When she let go, she said with a coy smile, "Have fun on your Valentine's Day date with Hikaru!"

I gave her a confused look, "What?"

"Hey guys!" I heard MJ shout from the apartment stairs. We all looked at her as she approached, "Ready to go?"

"Where are you guys going?" I asked.

"Out." she replied curtly, sliding into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut. It wasn't moments later when the car started backing out quickly, the tires spinning over the gravel for a minute before it finally backed out the drive, Dawn's blue ex-police car speeding down the alleyway. Well, that was rushed... I sighed, walking slowly up the rickety steps, hearing them groan below me as I reached the door. Bells tinkled when I opened it, sliding in. A waft of something delicious hit me and I headed to the kitchen, hoping that there was leftovers of whatever MJ made.

I was stunned when I saw the set-up.

"What in the... Oh. My. God. Hikaru! What is this?"

Displayed out in front of me was our apartment's kitchen table pulled out slightly with a lacy tablecloth spread over it. Two candles were lit, one of each side of the table, and a vase full of two dozen red, peach and white roses were beautifully arranged. Two plates, one full of chicken alfredo and salad and the other empty; two sets of silverware, and two glasses, one full of wine and the other dry, were placed neatly on the table as well. Then, there was my phone, which I had misplaced earlier, propped up against the flower vase, Hikaru on the other line waiting for me.

"It's for you." he answered, his voice sounding as smooth as ever.

I laughed while saying, "I can't... I can't believe this. This is just too... I love it."

"I'm glad. I wanted this to be special."

"No one's ever done anything like this for me."

"Well, you can't say that anymore."

"Why did you do this? I mean, I love it, but you didn't have to go-"

"Because I lov- like like you."

My heart felt like it was going to explode from how fast it was beating.

"Well, I like like you, too."

This was one of the few times when I wished I could say 'love' instead of 'like'.

---

February 25th, 6:38 P.M.:

"Yes! We have the same movie time!" I said victoriously, pumping my fist in the air.

My phone started ringing and I quickly answered when I saw Hikaru's name.

"What up, Hika, my-"

"R-Ripley..." I heard him say, but he trailed off when something that sounded like a sob escaped him. When I heard him start to cry, it felt like a hand came in and squeezed my heart, its grip tightening more and more. "Hika, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked gently. He didn't answer for awhile, just cried, sounding like he was trying to keep the sobs back, but they just kept on breaking through. My heartstrings were pulled taut at this point, my mind searching for comforting things to say, but I failed to say anything. "Hika...please, tell me what's wrong."

"I...I d-don't know... I j-just started c-crying and...I just...called you..."

I hated being useless.

I had no idea what to do.

If I was actually there with him, I'd be holding him in my arms, combing my fingers through his hair.

"Will you sing to me, like you always do?"

"Uh...sure..." How could I deny such a request when he was talking in that weak voice? My brain wracked for songs I could sing, but none of the ones I was coming up with weren't comforting at all. Then, a song finally popped into my head. "I'll hold your hand when you are feeling mad at me. Yeah, when the monsters they won't go and your windows won't close, I'll pretend to see what you see. How long, you say how long, will you relive the things that are gone? Yeah, the devil's on your back, but I know you can shake him off."

He was still crying.

"And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste. You can. And every day that you want to wake up, you want to wake. You can. And every day that you want to change, that you want to change; yeah, I'll help you see it through 'cause I just really want to be with you." Sniffles from Hikaru came through the phone, but it seemed like he was calming down a bit.

"Please, don't stop." he whispered.

"You know it's funny how freedom can make us feel contained? Yeah, when the muscles in our legs aren't used to all the walking. I know if you could snap both your fingers, then you'd escape with me, but in the meantime, I'll just wait here and listen to you speak or scream." I repeated the chorus, realizing just how true these lyrics were when it came to our relationship. It was getting to the point where all I wanted was for him to be happy, no matter where I ended up in life, whether I'm his friend or something more. It took me a long time to admit this, after I selfishly clung to the idea of me being the only important woman in his life, but if there ever came a time when Hikaru found another woman and she made him happy, then I knew that I would just let him.

I was weak when it came to Hikaru.

"The truth cuts us and pulls us back up and separates the things that look the same, but you can fight it off. You can fight it off, you can." Repeat of the chorus once more and done. I listened in silence for a reaction, but all I got was quiet. "Hikaru…?"

"Thank you."

I looked down at my bad hand, fiddling with the three fingers that were cut.

"Hikaru, can you do something for me?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

"At seven thirty, I want you to be at the Manhattan movie theater, and get one ticket for Safe House. Get yourself a bucket of popcorn, a soda, and anything else you want. Then, text me when you sit in the theater itself."

"Why do you want me to do this?"

"Because we're going on our second date."

...\~/...

To Ripley: I wish I was there with you right now.

To Hikaru: I know. We'll be able to do this in person someday.

To Ripley: Why can't I just send you money for a plane ticket? That way we'd be able to meet now instead of later.

To Hikaru: Because I want to earn the money on my own. Hey, is your theater empty?

To Ripley: You're changing the subject and no, it's not.

To Hikaru: I know I am.

To Hikaru: Enjoying the movie so far?

To Ripley: I think this has to be the best movie date I've ever had.

To Hikaru: Good! I was inspired by our dinner date on Valentine's Day.

To Ripley: I really, really want you here right now.

To Hikaru: I wish I was there with you too.

To Hikaru: Did you like the movie?

To Ripley: Yeah, I did. I thought it was very well done.

To Hikaru: Denzel Washington is a phenomenal actor, so it wasn't a surprise.

To Ripley: I hope he isn't another actor you find attractive...

To Hikaru: Oh, whatever...and he's not, so you don't have to worry. Worried that you'll have competition?

To Ripley: I don't want you finding any other man attractive but me.

To Hikaru: Fine. If you want me to do that, then I expect you to do the same.

I knew I hit a sore spot because I never got a text back.

---

March 4th, 1:03 P.M.:

When I saw those posters of Hikaru and Kaoru at the mall, I felt my self-esteem plummet. His dark hair slightly long and layered, bangs parted to the right, the one thing that helped people differentiate him from Kaoru in high school. His golden eyes were narrowed, staring directly at us, gaze seductive and sexy. And what got the girls really going was the skin he was showing by lifting his dress shirt up, exposing his stomach for everyone to see. He was so handsome and obviously easy on the eyes, according to all the other girls in the crowd. I looked down the mall on both sides, suddenly taking notice to all the other posters hung up on clothing store windows. Maybe I wasn't as observant as I thought I was or maybe I'd always seen them, but never really thought anything of them. I turned my head back in the direction of the poster we were standing in front of.

"Damn," I heard one girl in the crowd say. I took in how pretty she was. "If I had that in my bed every night, I'd be set for life."

I couldn't help but mock her, "If I had that in my bed every night... Shit, give me a break."

"Excuse me?" the girl asked, turning on me. Ooo, awkward, she heard me.

"Just be glad I didn't punch you." I said, walking away. I heard her hiss, "Bitch."

If women like that chased after Hikaru, then what kind of women did Hikaru like? I lifted my arm, pinching the skin. Sure, I had more meat on me than the average girl, and my short height made me look heavier than I really was, but I hoped that didn't make a difference. I looked back at the poster, then at all the girls that were like me. They all had dreams that pertained to them earning the attention of someone attractive like Hikaru or Kaoru.

A salesgirl approached me, giving me a large smile. "Hi there! We just got Kaoru Hitachiin's Men and Women Spring Collection. Here take this," she said, handing me a flyer. It had the same picture as the poster on the window. "Have a nice day!"

"Rip, are you okay?" Erika questioned. "Are you that surprised by his appearance?"

"Oh, um... I'm fine." I responded, smiling sheepishly.

Note: Please read the end of chapter 11 for more details. Thank you! -Ripley

---

July 24th, 4:25 P.M.:

"Ripley, please call back. I'm sorry about earlier. I've just missed you and I'm worried about you. Call me back when you get this." my voicemail said, Hikaru sounding desperate as he talked. I sighed, about to snap my phone shut when it was suddenly grabbed out of my hand. "Hey," I shouted, looking up at Kit Elderidge, a man from Barkman College that attached himself to our group, like a leech on our legs. Annoying, perverted, and sleazy were the only words to describe him. I wish there was something good I could tell you about, but there isn't, so on with it. "Give that back, please." I demanded, reaching out for it, but Kit was around six foot and my five foot two frame and when he held my phone in the air, only a miracle from God could get it back for me.

"Only if you kiss me!" Kit said, his face suddenly getting very close to mine, his breath fanning across my face and I nearly gagged.

"What the hell did you eat earlier?" I asked, waving my hand in front of my face. "A dead carcass?"

"Mmm, no." He slithered his arm around my shoulders, "How about you and me ditch this place and go back to my house and have some M-rated fun?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh, you were thinking about playing Assassin's Creed too? What a coincidence!" I faked excitement, but then peeled his arm off my shoulder. "But seriously, no. I need my phone."

"Why? Cheating on me?"

"Uh, no. I need to call someone..."

Kit grinned impishly, tucking my phone in his pocket, patting the outside. "Nah, I think I'll keep this for safe keeping."

What an ass...

Hikaru's desperate and pleading tones were something I had gotten used to. He didn't deserve it, I knew that, but ever since I saw those posters, I'd been depressed. My thoughts about how there was a huge chance he wouldn't find me attractive when we met kept me from enjoying myself these past few months. Every morning, I struggled to get out of bed, dreading the thought of having to go to classes. All I wanted to do was write, something that made me feel better, but recently, due to my funk, my work was unsatisfactory, nothing making me feel accomplished. I never wanted to go anywhere, instead wanting to spend my days locked up in our apartment. My roommates had to practically drag me out of the apartment to the mall today, and I definitely wasn't in the mood to deal with Kit. The last few months, I haven't wanted to talk to anyone about my problems, and every time Hikaru would call or message me, all my negative thoughts would lead me to end our conversations early and my messages short. MJ had even mentioned something about it, telling me that I needed to straighten up because I was being a bit of a bitch.

Hikaru was too good for this kind of treatment. He hadn't done anything to get this kind of behavior from me. I was being horrible to him.

I was being a bitch.

"Hey, we're going to get some lunch!" MJ called from over her shoulder. She looked from between me and Kit, secretly relieved that he wasn't hitting on her anymore.

"How about you and me skip lunch and go straight to dessert?" Kit asked, nudging me with his elbow.

"How about we do that after you die in a hole?" I replied pleasantly.

"Oh, you wound me, Ripley!"

"Touch me again and I'll make sure you never breathe again."

"You're so cute when you're threatening."

I glared at him, "Then you'll think I'm adorable when I smother you in your sleep." I spat.

...\~/...

I watched as Kit answered my phone, "Kit speaking!" Moments later, he said, "This is Kit, Ripley's lover. Who is this?"

That's when I snatched the phone from him, seeing that it was Hikaru on the other side.

"Hika, thank God you called!" I called him Hika, something I hadn't done in awhile. "Hold on... Kit, if you ever take my phone again, I'll cut off your hands and feed them to the coyotes, got that?" Then, I directed my attention back to the phone. "That guy's seriously a creep. I'm so glad you called."

"I'm just glad you answered. I've been calling you all day."

"I know. I heard. I would've answered, but Kit stole my phone and wouldn't give it back."

"Have you told that idiot to get lost?"

"No..."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm five foot two and he's almost six foot, who possesses a violent temper." Then, she added, "Hika, are you okay? You sound upset."

He had a right to me upset.

I've practically ignored him for the last three months.

"Ripley, I need to tell you about the woman I love."

It was like my heart stopped.

Because I knew he wasn't talking about me.

...\~/...

Sitting in the last bathroom stall on the left, I braced myself for what was to come.

"Tell me about her." I knew I was going to regret saying those four words.

And he did. He told me about how a woman named Haruhi was the first person to tell him and Kaoru apart, but not because of the parts in their hair or the way they spoke, but their personalities, something that no one had done before. Over their time together, he started falling for her; loved her blunt personality, the way she would fret over the stupidest things, like missing sales at supermarkets or running out of rice, and her cooking. Hikaru told me about the painful memory of Haruhi rejecting him when and how he battled for her when Tamaki had finally gotten over his trauma and accepted his feelings for her. "I've wanted her for six years, Ripley; I just can't think of a different girl for me. I'm picky because of her now. I always look for the blunt honesty she had, but girls around here don't have that. They just tell me what I want to hear and not what I don't. Haruhi always had a way of making me realize things and I loved that." Hikaru told me about how envious he was of Tamaki, but how he was happy for him and loved him at the same time. He was a walking contradiction, that's all he called himself. He said Haruhi was the reason why he and Kaoru grew up to be individuals, not the same, like they had planned on doing when they were kids.

"She sounds like a beautiful person." I said softly.

I could picture him smiling. "She is. She truly, truly is."

There was a silence.

"But then I met you." he said. "You do crazy things to me, you know that?" he added with a laugh.

"No, I didn't know that." I replied.

"You do. You make my heart race every time you call or message me, you make me feel warm and give me butterflies. I laugh when I talk to you and you give me hope that I can get through these hard times. God, and your voice. I love how you say my name and the way you say 'Hika' in that adorable way you do. I want you and I need you, but I'm trapped, and you're my only way out. If...if you wait for me just a little longer...I'll be there...with you..."

"I want you, too."

And he started crying, reminding me of all the previous times he cried to me. Him sounding so sad was always enough to drive me into tears as well and this time he succeeded because moments later, I was balling like a baby too. No one in the bathroom knocked on the stall to see if I was okay or if I needed anything, preferring that anyway, but it was something I noticed nonetheless. "You fool, you made me cry too." I said with a laugh, a sob escaping me.

"At least we're crying together." he replied in a quivering voice. "I wish I was there with you."

"I wish you were here, too. I just...want to be with you." Another sob from me.

"We will...I promise..."

"Hika," I said in a small voice. "What are you going to do about it?" I asked.

"About what?"

"About Haruhi."

"I-I don't know."

"You should call her. How long has it been since you've talked to her? Two years? Talking it out is always the best solution. It's hard to make the first move; trust me, I would know, but it looks like she's not going to, so you'll have to. You've stuck yourself in this reality where you think Haruhi's mad at you and that's causing you to not do anything about it. She's not mad at you, though."

"And how do you know that?" he asked.

"Kaoru told me."

"Kaoru?! Since when has Kaoru talked to you?! How come you never told me?! How come he never told me?!" Hikaru exclaimed in a surprised voice. Kaoru and I had started talking a month before. When his adorable voice filled my ear, I seriously thought I was in Heaven. We talked about anything, from Japanese customs to embarrassing stories about Hikaru, which were always the best. One day, however, things got a little serious when I asked him if Hikaru was in love with another woman. When he had said yes, that's when I realized I probably had close to no chance.

"We talk on a daily basis. And he's told me all your embarrassing stories!" I said with a grin. "Is it true that you stopped wetting the bed when you were eleven?" I snickered through the phone.

"That's not true! Kaoru was the one that always sucked his thumb and he was a crybaby in elementary school, crying over the stupidest things! And...and...he-" He was cut off by my laughter. "What's so funny! Ya know, I can always call your brothers and ask for embarrassing stories!"

"Relax, he didn't say that. I made it up, but since you acted so defensive, I'm beginning to think I might've hit a sore spot..."

"You did not! It's all a lie!"

"I'd love to see your face right now! I bet it's hilarious!"

"You're so mean to me..." he pouted through the phone. He was so adorable sometimes.

"Oh, you know I love you."

That's when the shit hit the fan. I couldn't believe I just said that! B-but I didn't mean it like 'Oh Hikaru, I love you so much! Let's elope now!' I meant it jokingly, like how friends tell each other that they love each other after teasing one another. But crap, I didn't want to be just friends with him! Shit, I don't know what to think anymore! Knowing Hikaru, he was probably contemplating about what kind of love I was talking about. I had to wonder if he was as red I am right now.

"Did...you...mean...?"

"N-no! I meant...I-I, well...I mean... It was truly platonic! It...just..."

WHY'D I USE PLATONIC?!

"N-no, it's f-fine. I was j-just wondering..."

I DIDN'T WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO BE PLATONIC!

"I still think you should call Haruhi." I said finally, trying to keep my voice steady. "She'd be happy to hear from you."

"Why are you so persistent in me calling her? You know, most women would try and keep their love interests away from other women. Don't you want me all to yourself?" Of course I want you all to myself. "You're not trying to dump me off on another woman, right?"

"No, it's just...I want you to be happy. And if reconnecting with the woman you love makes you happy, then so be it."

"Ripley... I can't...not alone..."

"I'll be right here." I said soothingly.

It was my job to soothe him, be with him, and pick him up when he falls.

...\~/...

"I'm going to do it."

"Go ahead. You can do it."

"Are you sure you want me to do this."

"Yes, I'm sure."

He was dialing the number; I could head the clicking of the buttons on his phone. "It's ringing..."

While he waited for Haruhi to pick up, I thought about all that he told me. Haruhi must've been an amazing person if Hikaru had been hung up on her for so long. She had been his first love, something I believe Hikaru was slowly becoming to me- my first love. I was having such confusing thoughts, debating on whether some of my feelings were right or wrong. Did I want him to call this woman? No, I didn't, of course, but the way he talked about her... He'd been so happy...and that's what I wanted, for him to be happy. All my life, I've kept my emotions and thoughts to myself, so why would I start releasing them now? Was love connected to self-sacrifice? I had to wonder what Hikaru would've been like if Haruhi hadn't entered his life. There could've been a large possibility that we would have never met. Just the thought of that drove me crazy. Hikaru not in my life? The concept itself was hard to believe.

"Ripley, do you lov-" I heard Hikaru begin, but he was cut off when I heard another woman's voice.

"Hello?"

So that was Haruhi?

Seconds later, I heard the sound of Hikaru slamming the phone into the receiver.

"What was that?! Why'd you hang up on her?!" I shouted, my voice carrying.

"I can't do it! I'm a coward! I don't want to talk to her! I'm too chicken and you can't make me!"

"Hikaru, you can do it! It's just a phone call! Remember when I told you how scared I was to call you? Well, didn't I get over my fear?! You should too! Call her back!"

"Fine! I can do it!"

"Yes! Because beside the word 'manly' will always be 'Hikaru'!"

"Kaoru told you that story?" he asked.

"Yeah, one out of many."

"What else has he-"

"Hikaru, you're stalling! Call her!"

"Fine, fine, I'm doing it now." I heard him dial the number again and we sat in silence, waiting.

"Hello?" It was Haruhi again. He could do this. I was here with him. He could do this...

"Um...h-hey, Haruhi. This is Hikaru."

"Hikaru? Hikaru! I can't believe you called! I'm so glad you did!" She sounded so happy...

I sat in silence, listening to the two go back and forth in discussion. A smile appeared on my face. Why the hell was I smiling when Hikaru was talking to the woman he truly loved? Beats me... Probably because I sounded so excited once I got going, chattering about anything. He was always so quiet when he talked to me, letting me blabber about anything that came to my mind. I liked hearing this enthusiastic side of him, a side that seemed Haruhi had managed to bring out. Had to wonder how many other sides she'd seen of him. Hikaru had said that they'd been really close in high school, so maybe she had seen his vulnerable side before. For once, I wanted to see a side of him she had never seen before.

That's when the tears started to fall again. Wow, crying twice in one day.

A sob escaped me, which seemed to go unnoticed by Hikaru since he didn't ask about it, and I quickly pressed the 'end' button before he could. I moved to stand up, but my head collided with the metal bar above, and that's what sent me over the edge. I fell back to the ground, bringing my knees to my chest, face burying itself into my arms. This was horrible. This wasn't what love should do to someone. If I knew this was going to happen, I would never have written to him on Red Hue and if he had messaged me first, I wouldn't have responded. I was content before I met Hikaru, but now I felt like a part of me was ripped away, and that part was Hikaru. The fact that Haruhi was married and probably wouldn't leave her husband for Hikaru comforted me a little, but the possibility of them talking more and more and her falling in love with Hikaru was likely as well.

My phone buzzed.

Hikaru...

"Hey, Hika..." I greeted weakly.

"I talked to her! I really, really talked to her!" he exclaimed into the phone. "I actually talked to her! And she wasn't mad at me! We had a civil conversation and I didn't make a fool of myself! Haruhi said she was glad that I called and that she was going to visit sometime when her schedule opened up! Oooo, I'm so freakin' happy right now!"

"That's great! I'm so happy for you!"

It was like his celebrating stopped.

"Ripley, have you been crying?"

"Yeah, remember when we cried together?"

"No, just now. Were you crying when I called you?" I spoke quietly to him and I sounded congested. "You were, weren't you? Don't lie to me, Ripley. Please, tell me what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked gently. These were the moments when I knew I was in love with him. It was the moments when he sounded so concerned so spoke in that gentle tone of his. "Come on, baby, tell me what's wrong."

"Earlier, when I was talking to you, I escaped to the bathroom so Kit wouldn't bother me. And I lost connection, so I was going to go back out, but I hit my head on the handicap bar they have in the stall. It hurt like hell and I recommend you never do it."

"So, that's it? You're crying because you bumped your head?"

"Yes..."

I was such a horrible liar. "Ripley, why can't you lean on me?"

"What?"

"I always tell you what's wrong with me and I told you about Haruhi. Do you know how scared I was to tell you because I've lost two very serious girlfriends by telling them about her and I didn't want to lose you? For once, I want you to tell me what's wrong, or is that too much to ask for? If we're going to be in a relationship in the future, we need to depend on each other to comfort one another. I've already made that commitment, so why can't you? I feel so useless when you don't tell me anything because I want more than anything to be there for you. Just, please...please, let me do that for you. Please..."

I was quiet for a moment. "What have your past girlfriends looked like?"

"Looked like? Why does it matter?" he asked confusedly.

"Never mind, it was a stupid question. Just...forget I said it."

"No, what do you mean?" he urged. "My last girlfriend was beautiful. I think she was even asked to model once."

"...that's what I thought..."

"What are you thinking? You can tell me."

Footsteps approached the stall I was holed up in and a knock sounded. "Ripley, are you in there? Are you okay? You've been in here a long time."

"I'll be out in just a second!" I replied, trying my best to not sound congested.

Hikaru must've heard me because he shouted into the phone, "Wait, don't go! Why did you ask?! What are you wanting to tell me?!"

"Hika, I have to go." Click... I didn't even wait for a good-bye.

I stood up, carefully avoiding the metal bar, and wiped at my face and eyes. Unlocking the stall door, I saw MJ standing there. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Hikaru and I just had a lot to talk about. He's been going through a rough patch lately and we figured things out."

I started to walk away, but MJ's voice made me freeze. "When you're ready to tell the truth, I'm always here to listen!"

That was MJ for you.

---

July 26th, 11:41 A.M.

The first time I talked to Kyoya Ootori was the most intimidating thing I had ever experienced.

I was laughing with my brothers at my dad's house when there was a knock at the door. Thankfully, Joey had cleaned the place up earlier, so it looked presentable to guests. I gestured about me getting it when Quin moved to stand up and the moment I opened the door, a tall, blonde woman and a equally tall, spectacled man came in without invitation. I was especially surprised when the blonde woman brought me into a tight hug, refusing to let go until I returned the hug. When the woman pulled back, her hands still on my shoulders, I couldn't help but give her the most weirded out look I could muster.

"How are you, hun?" she asked in a thick, Southern drawl. "Remember me, Tara Alexander? We've played over the Xbox a few times."

Tara Alexander...? Tara Alexander... TARA ALEXANDER?! IN MY HOUSE?! That must mean...

"Hello, Miss Barrett," the man behind her said with a nod of his head. "Nice to finally meet you in person."

"Uh...hey..." I said weakly. I really hope my face wasn't red because it sure felt like it.

"Hey, sissy, why are you blushing?" Mark snickered.

Damn, my face is red. Kyoya was the definition of the type of guys I always found attractive.

"Uh, guys," I started, my voice small. "This is Tara Alexander and her boyfriend, Kyoya Ootori. I met them through Hikaru. Why they're here, I don't know."

Tara answered that for me, "Ripley, I need to talk to you for awhile. Kyoya," She turned to him. "You be a good boy and talk with the other men." she said, patting his chest. Kyoya merely rolled his eyes, stepping aside so Tara could drag me out of the house. She pulled me by the arm all the way to a huge, silver truck, opening the door for me so I could crawl in. The inside was still cool from the air conditioner. Tara turned the truck on, slamming on the reverse, speeding down the country road, heading to nowhere.

...\~/...

Tara talked for most of the drive, telling me about all of her and Kyoya's times out of the country. I was especially interested about her times in Italy, hoping it was everything I ever imagined. It pretty much was; Carnevale was bright, vibrant, and colorful, the best costumes always handmade by people. The food was to die for, Tara said, and she promised to make me something the next time I met her, which was probably when I went to meet Hikaru in person. She told me about Spain and her family, how her aunt was like her and how her uncle was a total pushover when it came to her aunt. Tara was amazing, I concluded. She was the type of person I always wanted to be like, outspoken and leather-skinned, the worst of things never getting the best of her. She was how all the female characters I wrote about were like. Well-rounded, ambitious, and tough to impress, but I guess I impressed her somehow because she complimented me on many occasions. I took each and every one of them to heart; I had a feeling it was hard to get a word of praise from her.

I had to ask her because she knew Hikaru better than anyone else I knew.

"Is Hikaru shallow?"

I felt bad for interrupting her when she was in the middle of talking, but I had to know.

Her vivid eyes were on me, I could feel them.

"Yes...terribly so." she replied quietly.

"Great...just great..." I muttered, looking out the window. The world outside was a blur.

"Hopefully, Hikaru won't be a dumbass and look past the outside and remember who he spent so long getting to know." Then, Tara gave me another compliment that I took to heart. "In my opinion, you're a very beautiful person. Pushing your own feelings away just so you could make Hikaru happy. It must've been really hard when he told you about Haruhi."

"Yeah, I guess. I just...he seemed...I want him to be happy." I said finally, wringing my hands together. "Is Haruhi really that great of a person? She has to be in order for Hikaru to love her for so long."

"I guess she is." Tara uttered, slowing the truck down so she could turn. "I wouldn't know. I never really liked her, but I never really like anybody, so I'm not the best person to ask."

"Why didn't you like her?" Tara's jaw started clenching. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Elementary through high school, I was never well liked. I'm a hard person to get along with, but a lot of people made fun of me because of how I looked, especially when I gained a lot of weight after my parents' divorce. I was a loser and I could never figure out what really appealed to people when it came to what was cool and what wasn't. After awhile, I started improving myself physically and academically, losing weight and getting involved in school more. But I was still hated amongst my peers. When I got to Ouran and I met Haruhi, I was envious of and pissed at her." Her grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles turning white. "I was like, 'How could a girl who's pretty much boring and insensitive get the attention of so many people?' Everyone loved Haruhi, the girls, the guys, the lesbians at a rival school, everyone. I still...couldn't figure out what appealed to people." The blonde sighed, pulling into my driveway. "Now, I don't want my opinion on her affect yours when you meet her. She is a nice person and does care a lot about her friends, including me, but...that's how I feel about her."

She reached over, bringing me into another hug. "We couldn't stay long because we have a trip to New York, but I just wanted to talk to you."

"Thanks for that. Hey," I looked at her. "Do you think Hikaru will accept me? I want an honest answer."

Tara stared at me for a moment before she said, "I want to say yes." That was enough for me.

I climbed out of the truck after saying good-bye to Tara, walking into my house. Kyoya stood up right when I entered, bowing to my family and bidding them farewell. I stood there with the door open for him and when he approached me, he did something totally unexpected. My eyes widened when he pressed his lips to my cheek, pulling back with a smirk. "Like I said over the phone, Miss Barrett, you're a very interesting person." And he left, me closing the door behind him. My jaw went slack and my face felt like it was going to burn to a crisp when realization hit me.

"He was cool. Why couldn't you meet him on Red Hue?" Mark asked.

I wanted to say, "Because I fell in love with Hikaru Hitachiin." But I didn't answer.

---

September 10th through the 26th:

So much happened between these two dates.

First of all, I met Hikaru for the first time in person on the 10th, and I had been so excited. When he looked at me up and down and scowled, Tara's voice saying 'I want to say yes' kept on repeating in my mind. When he said my name, I had thrown myself in his arms, surprising me as well. I wasn't exactly a hugger and me giving the hug was weird. And when Hikaru didn't return it made it even more awkward. At that moment, I knew things were going to go downhill. But then everyone else was so happy to see me, so why couldn't he? Tamaki had called me beautiful and Hunny called me pretty. Hikaru, however, would glare at me in contempt. My confidence had already plummeted at that point.

Second, our first official" date. Seeing him flirt with every other girl but me was one of the hardest things to watch. I wanted him to say those things to me with that voice and stare at me with those beautiful eyes of his. He paid no attention to me and made me feel like the ugliest person in the world. The girls he stopped to talk to would give me equally condescending looks, treating me like a pest, and at that point I felt like that was what I was- an annoying pest. Dinner was horrible.

"What can I get you, sir?" our waitress had asked.

"Mmm, a plate of you to go, please?" And he had said it, sending a narrowed gaze and smirk in my direction, knowing exactly what he was doing.

I remember wanting to take my chair and smash it across his head.

Thirdly...'I don't like the way you look.' I don't think I need to explain how I felt about that one.

Then, the week that before Hikaru came to apologize had been so difficult. I didn't talk to anyone, not my roommates, my brothers, my dad or mom, no one. I stayed in bed, only coming out to eat, shower and use the restroom. Just like the time when Hikaru spoke to Haruhi for the first time in two years, I wished that I had never met him. The dread and sorrow that I felt during that week was the worst and it had all been because of him. That week, I cursed him for making me feel so bad, and I wished I'd get a call saying he was...hit by a bus or something, but I'd immediately chastise myself for thinking such violent faults...but then my mind would imagine me driving the bus that hit him.

The day that Hikaru came to confront me was the first day I left the apartment. I'd gone on a drive and had just gotten back when I struggled to get into my apartment, seeing that the man that caused so much pain was the reason I couldn't get in. When I saw him, it was like everything he said and did that first day hit me all at once, and I ran. But I'll be damned, he followed me. I knew I should've driven away... But when he chased after me and apologized, begging for me to come back to him, I was amazed how a man I hated so much could make me fall in love with him so quickly. I guessed I never really hated him in the first place, but I knew he meant everything he said when I ran straight into his arms, much like I did on our first day of meeting each other, and the second time he returned it.

I was in bliss when he whispered to me, "I'm never letting go of you again, you got that?"

And when he held me that night again, I felt like nothing could go wrong.

That was until October 8th came around...

---

October 8th, 2:08 P.M.:

I was standing outside his apartment, my heart racing and face red.

I was going to be living with Hikaru for a whole week, something we both agreed on.

My fist almost hit the door before I froze, taking a deep breath.

I was so nervous...

I was going to be living with Hikaru...alone. Just the two of us with no disturbances. What was I going to do?

Knock, knock, knock!

When the door opened, I braced myself for a tackling hug, but all I got was a pissed off Hikaru.

"Is something wrong?" I asked hesitantly.

"We have a problem." he replied, stepping aside for me to look in.

There, sprawled on his couch, were my roommates, all waving at me with huge smiles on my face.

You know when I said I was going to be living with Hikaru alone? Yeah, well...just ignore that part, okay?

---

...49 pages...20,077 words...longest chapter...

I won't update until I get 150 reviews.

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Nah, just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you.

FYI, All Thanks To A Pulsating, Puke-Inducing Migraine is in the lead. VOTE IF YOU HAVEN'T YET!

Author's Note- Fin