Chapter 17: Month Eight Making Love
I can hear the sound of the shovel as Peeta labors out in the garden. I cannot help but steal a glance out my bathroom window to watch him work. I see his shoulder muscles rippling with the effort as he plunges the instrument into the earth, and I imagine what it might look like, feel like, if he plunged his dick into my…..
I feel the hot blood drop into my core and I force myself to look away. Sweet Panem! These hormones will drive me mad! You're a dirty girl, Katniss Sierra Everdeen! You're a dirty, dirty girl!
I have been noticing Peeta physically more and more lately. The way he comes up the path after his day at the bakery. The way he assembled the baby's crib for me the other day. And now watching him garden…. Watching him bake, feeling the heat of the oven radiating off him, how it makes sweat appear on his brow...
I flick water at the mirror as I try to splash my face and calm down. Dammit!
I stalk into my bedroom. Lying on my bed, I hike up my skirt to my waist. I slip my fingers underneath the waistband of my panties and touch my wetness. I begin to rub my clit fast and hard. I imagine it is Peeta doing this to me, pushing himself in and out, in and out…..
I rub faster, gasping out air, beads of sweat dripping down my forehead and my body. My free hand is gripping the sheets in my fist and I feel my lower half bucking off the bed more and more wildly.
"Oh… oh my… oh my… Peeta… Peeta…. Mmmm…."
"OH! I'm so sorry!"
My eyes snap open and I dare to turn towards the voice. Shit! I must not have heard him come in. Peeta is standing in the doorway looking thoroughly mortified, embarrassed that he walked in on me. He immediately does an about-face and prepares to leave the room.
"Wait!" I cry, ashamed that my voice sounds so desperate.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted to be alone," he rambles without even turning around.
"But I don't want to be alone," I pant. The words hang in the air like smoke. Peeta slowly turns to face me, shocked. I give him my tenderest smile.
"Come to me," I whisper sweetly. Peeta obeys.
As soon as he is within my grasp, I lunge for him, pouncing for my prey. I climb him like a tree, peppering him with kisses everywhere my lips can reach. I practically throw the young man onto the bed, and make him mount me. He is kissing me back, now, but won't put his hands on me.
"Peeta….." I wheesh. "I need you….. to touch me. Please, please, just touch me!" And I take his hands in my own and guide them to my breasts.
Confident that there is nothing to fear, that this is what I want, Peeta begins to stroke my body everywhere. He kneads my breasts like dough, dances his fingers along my thighs as he uses them to nudge my legs apart. Every single touch he gives, lights my body up to the heat of a thousand suns. I can't take it anymore!
"You need to be inside me by the time I count to three!" I growl. I guide him towards my center without even bothering to count. Peeta pushes in after initial reluctance; the look I give him makes it clear that I have to have this.
Slowly, once unified, Peeta begins to slide in and out, in and out. Happiness bursts onto my face so hard, I'm afraid it will break me. I drape my arms across his back, using his incredibly manly body as a tether to keep me from spinning off into space. When pleasure replaces initial pain (I haven't had sex in so damn long - eight fucking months!), I actually begin to laugh.
"What is it?" Peeta hisses out.
"I'm….. I'm actually having a really good time!" I giggle; I almost sound drunk. And maybe I am. Drunk on him!
"Me too." It's taking any extra effort he has just to get air to speak.
I give him a plaintive look. "You won't hurt the baby. Don't hold back."
"Ohhhhhhh…" Peeta moans like a ghost and begins to thrust into me with wild abandon. He scoops my legs over his shoulders. He is pounding into me; I bouncing right along with him. The bed creaks and sways. My eyes are as wide as saucers. I love how Peeta fucks!
"Oh! OH!" I can only make airy, high-pitched noises as I ride through the feelings coursing through me. At long last, I cannot keep it in any longer, and I explode, riding my orgasm out even as my vision becomes spotty. Quivering, I can feel Peeta spill himself inside of me. He is breathing hard, grunting, exhausted. With his last ounce of strength, he rolls off of me.
"I've….. I've wanted to do that for so long," he gasps.
I can't help it. I crack up. "Why didn't you try?" I chortle. "You know I wouldn't have refused you." And it's true. If he had seduced me, I would not have minded one bit.
"I had no idea you wanted me to!" Peeta protests, stunned by my admission. "And besides, I thought with the….." He blushes, and I know what he is referring to. "….. with that, it wasn't love. It was just….. sex for sex's sake."
I feel ashamed all over again as I remember our forced oral sex at the bakery. Unfortunately, he's not wrong. At that time, what I did to him was not out of love, but out of my own pride and a desire to not be seen as charity or worthy of pity. How much I have changed, in the seven months between my two sexual encounters with this man!
I snuggle closer to him. "Well, from now on, know that when I want to make love, it comes from a place of want, a place of love." I blush. "I want you, Peeta."
He kisses my nose, then my lips chastely, a smile playing on his mouth. "I want you, too, Katniss."