Chapter 21: Quarter Quell Reaping

I awake early on Reaping Day. Although I would never show it to anyone except myself, I am frantic with worry. Worried for my new lover's safety.

My thoughts of what today might bring are so dark that I want to find something to do to occupy myself. I wait, actually hoping that Riley will wake up, screaming for her morning milk. When that fails to materialize, I decide to lose myself in watching Peeta sleep.

I find my new sexual partner to be most attractive in this state. I adore the way his blond hair falls into his eyes. The way his spun-gold eyelashes mix in with even these strands. The way the sunlight from our window trickles across his skin.

And all of that could be taken away from me in a matter of hours.

The Quell twist is quite cruel, in a way. If Peeta is reaped, I could not volunteer as the female tribute to join him in the arena. And even if we could be together, what would become of Riley, to lose both her parents? It's bad enough she might lose her adoptive father. If only there was no chance he could go! We would never be separated. Hunger Games or not, if it were in my power to remain at Peeta's side, I would do it! I stroke his hair back and find myself beginning to sing:

"What would I give, to live where you are? What would I pay, to stay here beside you? What would I do to see you, smiling at me? Where would we walk? Where would we run? If we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me. And I could be part of your world….. Ah, ah, ah, ah….."

Far, far away, I can hear someone - a male's voice - calling my lover's name: "Peeta? My boy! Somebody! Anybody!"

The voice draws closer, and I recognize it as Mr. Mellark. Not wanting him to see Peeta and I in bed together, I leap into the bathroom. Moments later, I hear Mother let Peeta's dad in, then the baker himself bursting into my room.

"Peeta! There you are!"

Peeta is shaken awake with a start. "Dad? What are you doing here? You know I stay here at night!"

"You didn't show up for your shift! Oh, Peeta! You just adore making my heart race, don't you?" Mr. Mellark is obviously in some kind of distress. It's also clear that Peeta has no idea what his father is doing in my room.

"Well, you could have at least knocked! I was having the most wonderful dream. A girl rescued me from drowning. She pulled me right out of the surf…. and she was singing….."

I blush furiously, wondering if I accidentally inserted myself into Peeta's dream. Mr. Mellark just looks amused.

"Sure you didn't take a tumble, dear boy? Fall out of bed, perhaps? Must be an old memory, that's all - your mother singing a lullaby over your cradle….."

Peeta frowns. "It didn't sound like Mother…. It just sounded so real…. she was real…."

"Of course she was," the baker indulges.

I now choose this time to emerge, fully dressed, from the bathroom.

"Ah, there you are, Katniss!" Mr. Mellark greets, which makes Peeta realize that he woke up without me there. I cross to the bed and give Peeta a gentle kiss, not giving a damn now whether his father sees or not.

"I got up early to get ready. I'll go wake Riley."

The District Square is packed with people, even though nobody wants to be out in this heat. Unlike most years, there is only one roped-off pen, split by age group, for the boys. We females and adults are made to stand off to one side.

I just want this over with. Riley is getting restless, probably because she is too warm. I am about to wonder if I should slip out of line and find some shade - Peacekeepers be damned! - when Greasy Sae offers me the shade from her umbrella. I smile in thanks.

The Mayor finally takes his place. He begins by speaking of the Dark Days. This is all standard procedure, so I tune him out. Besides, Riley is more important…. and far more entertaining, as she keeps trying to play with the pearls around my neck and stuff them in her mouth. I hear barely audible chuckles and I can tell others in the crowd are more focused on my baby, too.

The Mayor moves on to the reading of Past Hunger Games Victors. This is also the same year after year. In 74 years, District 12 has had exactly two triumphs in the arena. Pathetic. I bow my head in silence, without even thinking, for Duke Vedaldi, the gentleman who won the 13th Games and has been dead at least a decade or two. Then, there's our living Victor of the 50th Games, Haymitch Abernathy. I am momentarily distracted from Riley as I see the drunken fool attempt to give our escort a hug. Peacekeepers have to support him and help him back to his chair like he's a child. God, what a shitshow! He may be a legend, but at this point, it's only for the embarrassing entertainment he gives the rest of Panem every year.

Effie Trinket, our escort, finally reaches the podium and goes for the solitary Reaping Ball. "No ladies this year!" she trills. I clutch Riley close to me. Please, God, please….

"Peeta Mellark!"

I want to scream in agony. Goddamnit to Hell! He wasn't supposed to be picked! Instead, I can only cling to my daughter and sob. God is cruel! No…. there is no God! Not if he is willing to sacrifice both of the men I have loved!

Peeta shows more composure than I do, as he bravely takes the stage. Even through my tears, I can tell he has eyes only for me.

Effie either pretends not to notice my grief, or simply doesn't care, as she merrily plucks a second slip from the Ball. I hastily pray that at least Peeta's district partner will be young and weak…. maybe give him an easier time…..

"Bond Spindle!"

OK, he's not twelve. More like eighteen. And he's at least as strong as Peeta, by the looks of him. But he's blubbering like the baby I now rock. I can't help but smirk. If he's an emotional weakling, maybe Peeta can take him out.

Peeta and Bond are then made to shake hands before being escorted into the Justice Building.

The crowd has not even begun to disperse before I am lunging for the doors. I am the first one in line, even ahead of Peeta's family. His witch of a mother looks like she wants to cluck in disapproval, but her husband stops her. I am grateful.

The Peacekeepers let Riley and I in and guide me to a room without even asking me which tribute I want to see. I wonder: is Peeta's and my relationship that public?

As soon as the doors open, I rush inside. There he is by the couch, looking so handsome in his suit. I hear the lock click into place. I throw myself into Peeta's arms.

"You have to come home to us!" I say immediately.

Peeta looks resigned. "Katniss, I don't know if the odds are in my favor. Maybe it will be easier if you just let me go…."

"NO!" I shriek. "Am I not allowed to be selfish? Is my child not allowed to have both parents?"

"Katniss…"

"I won't lose you the way I lost Gale!" I vow. "I love you!"

It's the first time I've ever uttered the words to him. He stares at me for a long moment. Then -

His arms are sure and strong as he sweeps me back into them. His lips crush mine. My eyes flutter shut. With one free hand, I drape it across his neck, tangle my fingers into his hair, with an unholy moan. "Mmmmmm…."

Our tongues battle for dominance in my mouth, and I can sense nothing but the man who embraces me. I can barely wonder if we are smushing Riley between us, but she isn't crying, so she must be fine. At long last, Peeta and I break the kiss, gasping.

"Guess I'm just gonna have to win, then," and I am heartened that my love is now smiling. "Until then…. you're gonna be all right, Katniss Everdeen. You always were."

He kisses me again, one last time: passionate, and yet still gentle. When he releases me, he turns to Riley.

"I'll be back," and he kisses her forehead. "Alive. I promise."

I hear the doors open behind us, and hands seize me to pull me out. I cannot hold onto Peeta for another moment.

"I love you, Katniss!"

"I love you, too, Peeta!"

The doors slam shut ominously.

A/N: All right! Now we are going to start seeing things from Peeta's point of view. And if you are wondering where Katniss's song came from…. don't talk. Please. Just don't talk.