Chapter 16- Coffee
Delphine stared at the coffee dripping slowly into the pot. She stood perched against the counter, the sleeves of her knit cardigan pushed up to her elbows. The afternoon sun was...bright; too bright. The backyard was still full of tables and chairs to be picked up tomorrow. As she realized that Alison must have stacked them before leaving last night, her attention wandered:
"Cosima?"
The blonde doctor shot out of bed, her hands moving to her hair as she stared down at the brunette in bed. She froze. What was she supposed to do?
"Pense, Delphine. What would you do if this was your patient?" she asked herself.
She forced herself to tear her eyes off Cosima' unconscious body "Patient presents with rare, spreading, terminal cancer" she paced, shaking out her hands to try and get her brain to work, "I'd want an MRI and a CT, full blood work up. It's probably spread to…" she stopped in her tracks and turned to her wife "...to her brain."
There was no debate now. She raced to the nightstand and grabbed her cell phone, frantically dialing as she searched Cosima's drawers for something to dress her in.
Charlotte ran in the house, beyond excited to see her parents. Uncle Cal had taught her how to play goalie and she couldn't wait to tell them! She'd wanted to come home (she was supposed to come home right after breakfast) but Auntie Alison had told her that her parents needed a little more time alone.
She knew that meant they were having sex. She thought it would have meant more time with Kira, but instead her best friend had gone to bed, saying she didn't feel well. When Uncle Cal came out with the street hockey pads and offered to show her some tips, all else was forgotten.
She saw Maman standing, for some reason watching the coffee maker. The house had a feeling of greyness to it that made the young girl's palms sweaty. She looked around for her mummy, expecting to see her on the couch reading, or at the table. She was probably still sleeping or at the store.
The coffee kept dripping. Delphine's attention didn't waver, even as she heard the front door open.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Cal's phone rang and Delphine's name lit up across the screen. He rolled over, letting go of Sarah as he reached for the cool plastic. His hands fell on it and he yawned, answering the call.
"Hey Finey, you have any idea what time it is? Did you guys stay up all night?" he joked, getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom, as to not wake the slumbering woman next to him.
"Cal, non...I...Cosima she...I am at the hospital. Cal, she did not wake up this morning" Delphine explained through a series of deep breaths.
The blonde paced the hallway outside of the CT room. The tears were a constant fight to hold back.
"Should we come? I'll get the kids and be over there.." he started.
"Non. It's...she's not...gone. They've got her in for a CT scan right now. After all the tests, I will be taking her home. I need you to pick Charlotte up from Ali's after breakfast and keep her occupied until I get home. I do not want her to hear about this without me there" Delphine interrupted the lumberjack.
"Yeah, Finey. Anything you need. What else can I do?" he asked, scratching his beard.
"Nothing Cal. Thank you for the help" she told him.
"Maman?"
Delphine was pulled from her memories. She turned around and faced her daughter.
Maman's face was puffy and red. She'd been crying, Charlotte noticed. The young clone dropped her backpack and ran to her, wrapping her arms around the tall blonde's hips. She felt Maman stoop down and hug her tightly. Tears wet Charlotte's skin as she held on to the tall blonde tightly, her own forming in her eyes.
"Where's mummy?" the young girl asked.
This only made Maman cry harder.
Delphine cried into her daughter, the heaviness of this situation taking hold of her in a way it hadn't since right after waking up. Cosima was dying. Her worst fears were happening and they were happening now. She held tighter to the eight year old in her arms and heard Charlotte asking questions and trying to comfort her simultaneously. But her mind wasn't in the room right now. Her mind was upstairs, half a day earlier:
Delphine ripped another of Cosima's shirts out of the dresser, tossing it in a pile as she felt her emotions well up. She turned to her wife, still lying motionless in bed.
"Don't you have ANYTHING that buttons up?" she screamed at her through clenched teeth and the blurr of teary eyes.
Delphine took a sharp breath, staring at the unmoving form. Then she took another.
She slammed the drawer, causing the items on the surface to shake and rattle.
Another sharp inhale.
She abandoned her wife's wardrobe and went to her own. She grabbed a flannel, tossing it on to the bed in the pile of clothes she was about to dress her wife in.
"Where's Mummy?" Charlotte asked again.
Delphine could no longer hold the weight of the answer. It hung thick in the blonde mother's heart. No amount of its beating was pumping them out. Her legs gave out under the gravity pulling her down and she sat on the kitchen floor, desperately clutching at the little girl who was so much her mummy Delphine could hardly stand it. All she could do was cry and hold on.
"Maman, what happened?" Charlotte tried, not willing to let go of the tall blonde.
It replayed again in Delphine's mind:
She stared at the scans.
The neurologist spoke to her in the background.
It was nothing she did not already know.
He continued anyways.
She nodded along with him, her eyes stuck on the indications of the lesions on Cosima's brain.
"Of course we could attempt to go in surgically, but with the severity of her condition, unless we can find a way to prevent the spread, it would be an unnecessary risk" he told her.
Delphine nodded "Yes, of course. What of her kidneys? Have they taken the MRI yet?" she asked, her brain reeling with all of the other things that could be going on in her wife's body.
"She should be there right now. She was second in line when I dropped her off. I understand you will be bringing her home and she will be receiving hospice care?" he asked.
Delphine swallowed the lump of tears "Yes. We've..I've prepared for this."
He nodded and smiled, seeing the ring "You must love her very much. How long have you been married?"
Delphine caught a glimpse of the clock "Twelve hours" she answered, a straight face. "Thank you doctor, I appreciate your work. Have a good day" she told him before walking away, leaving his jaw on the floor.
The reel stopped.
Delphine sniffled.
Her head beat with her heart.
This was going to hurt.
"Charlotte…" she started, bottom lip quivering.
Charlotte's face fell as realization dawned, filling her chest with black poison. No.
"Mummy is…she…she didn't wake up this morning" Delphine blubbered, bursting into tears once more, unable to get any other words out.
Charlotte slowly sat down in front of her mother. Her morning with Uncle Cal seemed so unimportant now. Her brain tried to work around this, but all it was able to do in this moment was repeat over and over Uncle Cal telling her to keep her stick on the ground until it changed to flashes of memories of Mummy.
The small girl looked up at Maman "Is she dead?"
Delphine shook her head "No" she admitted, hiccupping and reaching out to rub the tiny clone's shoulder "the growths have…they've…they've moved to her brain. She's in a coma."
The tiniest sliver of darkness removed itself from Charlotte's chest. "Is she at the hospital?' she asked.
All the tall blonde could manage was a shake of the head.
Charlotte jumped up, running to the basement. She knew where Mummy was. She knew the room: the one Maman was scared to go in, the one Maman was afraid to even look at. She ran to it, opening the door to see the lights on inside of it for the first time. The curtain that normally covered the window was open, casting sunlight over the familiar form of her Mummy, fast asleep.
The small girl stood in the threshold, looking around the room. Monitors beeped quietly, the walls were bare, it was sad. She watched a chest she'd been snuggled into a million times rise and fall. She was still breathing.
Charlotte's eyes fell to her feet. She urged them to take steps, to walk towards the bed, towards the woman who was half of her family, whom she held so much love for. She didn't look like Mummy. Mummy was bright and bubbly and talked with her hands. Mummy was animated, even when she was sleeping. This woman was bland; like the taste of boiled chicken and rice.
Still, with all the courage she could muster, she a step towards her. If Mummy died, she wanted to make sure she got one last kiss. She wanted to make sure she knew how much she loved her and how much she changed her life.
Another step.
She'd have Maman. She'd always have Maman. She would be okay, but could she be happy?
Another step.
She knew this day was coming. She felt lucky somehow that they now had warning. Mummy could be dead, but she wasn't yet. She still had time.
One last step and she was reaching out to touch the dark dreads that she'd been so curious about in the beginning. She remembered first touching them on the island, when she'd first met Mummy. And then again, in the car when she'd learned why she wore them.
Charlotte leaned in and kissed Mummy's cheek carefully, tears falling anew at the warmth she unexpectedly found there.
"I love you, Mummy. I miss you so much already. Please, please don't leave us. I just found you" she begged, throwing her arms around the comatose woman.
"Please don't leave."
A/N: I'm not crying, you're crying.
So here's the deal: I missed last week's update due to a medical issue and not being able to sit until like yesterday, but I am healing very nicely. I'm sorry for the folks who didn't get the update about it but I wasn't sure how to go about letting you know any way other than Tumblr. Anyways, to make up for it, expect another update before next Thursday in addition to the one I will be making at the regular time next Thursday.
Sorry for this one being shorter. I just felt like it was done.
See you in the comments and/or next chapter!