A/N: -slowly surfaces for air- Shessh. That was one of the longest months of my life. Other than July 4th, I particularly dislike the month of July. In my opinion, August (my birthday) and September (NCIS is back) are much better months to be it. :) Once again, sorry this took so long. Summer session was brutal and I didn't have much time to do anything but eat, work, sleep, and go to school. But fall semester doesn't start for another month so hopefully I can get the story done before then. -fingers cross- Hugs and happy thoughts to all those who view, and review, and to those who just lurk and read, thank for enjoying my story. Next update will be up in a few days.

Chapter Twenty Four

Boss is in therapy, like me. Only it's different, cause my therapy is different cause I didn't get hurt like Boss did. But Boss is somewhere else that's not where I am even those he's doing the same thing I am so Lijah had to come with me which is okay because Lijah is learning some of the stuff I have to do because Boss knows how to do everything with me but one of the doctors said that now that he's hurt, he can't help me till he's better so Lijah is learning some of the stuff so on the days I don't have therapy, me and Lijah can do it so I can keep getting stronger.

My PT says I'm getting chubby which is a good thing I think because now my pants are fitting me without me having to get Lijah or Boss to help me put on a belt. That and my belly is soft like Probie's is but when I said that in front of Boss after PT, Boss laughed and told me that Probie's belly shouldn't be soft.

I don't mind if his belly is soft, because then he matches mine. My legs and my hands are getting stronger, specially my good side. My bad hand still shakes though, but it's okay because if I hold it with my good hand, like when I'm sitting down or standing, it stops shaking.

It's a good thing my bad leg doesn't shake like my bad arm cause then I don't think I would be able to walk as good as I can now. I can walk really good now, but I still can't walk fast because if I do I fall. But Boss is always telling me not to go fast because when I do, I miss things that are really important and when that happens, I don't get to see everything I should see.

Boss doesn't walk fast most of the time. The only times he walks fast is if he's coming to help me when I fall or when I'm hurt or when I'm in trouble. He use to walk fast too, when Baron didn't know how to walk on a leash cause Baron sometimes would pull and Baron is really strong, like Lijah, and once he pulled so hard Boss almost dropped the leash.

But Baron doesn't pull anymore which is why I get to hold his leash all the time now. Well, not all the time like when I'm in therapy. He has to stay by Lijah and Lijah is most the time sitting on a chair by the door. Baron had to go to the restroom during my therapy because he started sticking his nose in the door and scratching it.

So Lijah wasn't there the whole time but my PT is nice and afterwards, I got to go back to where Boss was.

He was tired cause his eyes were all crinkly in the corners and he smiled like he was tired but I was tired too.

Lijah took us home, which was good cause I was tired but I had a surprise or a secret. I had both I think but I didn't want Lijah or Boss to know.

Which is hard cause keeping secrets is a quiet thing to do.

And I have a hard time being quiet now.

Gibbs removed his injured arm from his sling carefully, not wanting to jar the still tender flesh. The bullet wound had damaged some of the muscle in his arm and as it healed, he was experiencing pain and weakness in the appendage, which was expected.

What Gibbs hated the most about the whole situation was that he no longer healed as fast as he had back when he had been on the other side of the hill. And with Christmas coming upon them fast, Gibbs had wanted to do something special with Tony before he went in for his surgery and wouldn't be able to do anything till after New Years. But plans had changed and it look like this year, Elijah and the team were going to help him set up the tree and lights for Tony.

It would be a good surprise for Tony when he came home from the hospital a before Christmas.

"See you tomorrow Gunny," Elijah leaned in as he passed by, "Want me to pick up anything?"

"No, we're fine," Gibbs sighed as he adjusted his arm against his body, "You sure you don't want to stay for dinner? Ziva's bringing it and she cooks quite the spread."

"No," Elijah shook his head, "Thank you for your offer but I promised my mom I would eat with her for dinner."

"See you tomorrow then," Gibbs stood from the couch and walked Elijah to the door.

"Bright and early," Elijah nodded. He was almost completely out of the door when he remembered something, "Gunny, does Tony know about tomorrow?"

"I've told him and it's been on the calendar for two months," Gibbs gestured back into the house, "But I'll remind him again tonight. We have to be at the hospital by 5 for check in."

Elijah smiled nervously at the situation before speaking, hoping the light banter would call him nerves over worrying for his friend, "Tony's not going to like waking up that early."

Gibbs nodded in agreement, sensing the younger man's trepidation about tomorrows events, "If that's the biggest problem I have tomorrow, then I'll be alright with it."

Tony watched the street through his window. He was suppose to be sleeping because he was tired but he was waiting.

He had made a promise, and he had to be very careful not to break it because promises were something that Gibbs never broke. So Tony didn't want to break them either.

But it was hard. Because he was really really tired.

"Sleep. Shush. I'm tired Baron," Tony said around a yawn, "You think he's still coming Baron? He promised he would, remember?" Tony watched the car pass by the house. It wasn't the one he was looking for which was good cause he hated cars. Tony heard some rumblings coming from downstairs. Rumblings meant Boss was talking to someone. He was probably talking to Elijah because Elijah had a deep voice like Boss and the rumblings sounded deep. Like Boss and Elijah normally sounded. Sooner or later though, the rumblings stopped and Tony heard the door open to outside.

"Bye Lijah," Tony tapped the window gently as he watched Elijah walk down the steps and drive away after he got in his car. Elijah was crazy. He drove a car. Tony didn't like cars, not anymore.

"Car. Listen Baron," Tony whispered, turning around to look at his slightly closed door, "Ssshh. Secret. Boss has to go down. To his space where he builds things. Then we can go. But not till then Baron."

Tony listened quietly. Sure enough, a few seconds later Tony heard the thump thump as Gibbs went down to his special place where Tony had never been because he didn't like the basement. But it was Gibbs' special place anyway so Tony didn't think he was missing much. Besides, that's were Boss went we he needed to think. Tony had a special place to, his room, and when he wanted to think he came to his room. But Boss' was down the stairs were Tony didn't like to go.

"Down. Okay Baron," Tony smiled when he saw the black truck pull up by his house, "Let's go. But quiet Baron, quiet."

Gibbs jerked awake.

Someone was knocking on his door.

Groaning, Gibbs slipped his arm back in the sling. Climbing the stairs would be a pain in the butt if he tried without the sling. His head hurt the way it always did when he took pain killers.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Gibbs grumbled as he climbed the stairs. Was it already time for Ziva and the rest of the team to come over? Elijah had left a little after 3 and the team wasn't suppose to visit till later in the evening.

"Gibbs!" Abby said, opening the door and frowning when she saw Gibbs closing the door to the basement, "Boss! Your doctor said you weren't suppose to do anything strenuous."

Confronted with Abby's scowl, Gibbs smirked, "Just thinking Abbs, I promise."

Abby hummed her disapproval and shook her head, "Tony in his room?"

"He's taking a nap," Gibbs rubbed his face before checking his watch, "Hmm. He should be awake by now though. Why don't you go check Abby?"

"No problem," Abby smiled before she quietly, just in case Tony was still sleeping, climbed the stairs to Tony's room.

Watching the forensic scientist climb the stairs, Gibbs smiled, glad to be back safely in his home.

Right around then, the front door opened again this time revealing Ziva and McGee, who was helping Ziva bring in the food she had cooked for everyone.

"We would have been here sooner, however, McGee almost dropped-"

"After you almost hit me with the-"

"Had I intended to hit you with anything McGee, you would have surely been-"

"See, you did intend to kill me with the-"

"Boss!" Abby yelled, the worry heavily laden in her tone.

Fearing the worst, Gibbs had started to climb the stairs when Abby appeared at the top.

"Tony's not here."

And just like that, the safety that Gibbs' home held was shattered as quickly as a mirror that had been dropped on the cold hard floor.

"Hmmm," Tony hummed to himself as the truck drove away. It was cold and his face hurt but he used his good hand to pull up the warm thing around his neck that Boss made him wear cause it was cold.

"Warm. Cold. It's cold Baron," Tony spoke to his dog who was sniffing and whining at his feet, "Cold. Baron, stop. We have to go home."

Tony looked up and scowled. It wasn't snowing but the ground was all white. Except the sidewalk, which wasn't which was good cause Tony knew he wouldn't have been able to walk if the white was still all over where he was suppose to walk.

"Home. Baron. Stop," Tony bit his lip. Baron was acting funny and if he didn't stop Tony wouldn't be able to go back inside before Boss-

"TONY!"

"Home. Uh-oh," Tony whispered and bit his lip. That sounded like angry Boss like he did when he use to talk on his phone all the time. Tony bit his lip again and touched his helmet. His hair was puffy underneath his helmet and it itched cause it always did when he wore his blue helmet to keep his head safe.

"Blue. Cold. Boss," Tony didn't want to yell cause it would hurt his head but he didn't want to not tell Boss that he was here. Cause Boss might be worried about being out in the cold so long cause Tony was pretty sure that Boss sometimes forgot his jacket cause Tony almost had if it hadn't been right by the door.

"Jacket. Cold. Secret. Boss," Tony tried again when Boss kept walking the wrong way. It was kinda dark so Tony didn't blame Boss but he better turn around soon cause Tony's legs were starting to feel like mush and he was really cold.

Tony almost started crying, frustrated that he couldn't do what he wanted but right before he did Baron started barking.

He was a good dog.

"Tony!" McGee called as he checked the front yard with Gibbs. Abby and Ziva were checking the back to see if there were any clues that way but McGee doubted they would find anything out there. The doors had been closed and as much as McGee knew about Tony's dexterity, he was pretty sure Tony wouldn't have been able to unlock and lock the doors.

"Tony!" McGee heard the barking a few seconds before he heard Gibbs' voice pierce through the cold air.

Running over to where he had heard the noise coming from, McGee breathed a huge sigh of relief when he practically ran into Gibbs' back.

Gibbs was running his non-injured hand over Tony's arms and doing a quick visual check with his eyes, "Son, what the he-Tony," Gibbs tried to calm down but McGee could tell that his worry was spilling over and showing as anger, something he hoped Tony understood.

"Tony, why are you out here in the cold?" McGee watched as Gibbs pulled Tony in close before looking down at Baron. Baron was pawing at Tony's pant leg and kept shoving his muzzle into Tony's bad hand. Gibbs looked back up at Tony and seemed to see something in the young man's eyes.

"Hurry McGee, we need to get him back to the house," Gibbs turned to his Senior Field Agent and started to gently lead Tony the last ten or so yard to the house, "I think Baron is alerting to a seizure."

"Come on Tony," McGee quickly stepped forward when Tony started to cry. He didn't want Tony to have a seizure outside in the cold and snow, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Blue. Cold. I don' feel good Boss," Tony was biting his lip and his movements were slow, as if he were moving in molasses.

Staring at McGee until his agent got it, Gibbs grunted in pain when he and his agent picked up Tony and carried him the rest of the way.

McGee helped Gibbs sit Tony down on the couch and was in the process of getting his phone out to call the girls when Tony started seizing.

I wish I could remember everything.

Everything would be a lot better then. Because I feel like I'm broken. I have holes in my head and the holes make it hard to think and work.

Boss remembers everything. He remembers me getting hurt and me from before and me not having a bad side. He remembers Kate when she wasn't just a name on the inside of my blue helmet and he remembers when I didn't need a blue helmet with names on it and a book that has things that I should be able to remember but I don't.

He remembers everything and I remember holes. Cause I'm broken and I can't fix it. Cause the holes I have don't go away.

But I just want to know. I want to know about before and about Kate and about everything.

I want to know why I had to have holes and why the black truck that comes to see me doesn't stay even when I want it too. I want to know why I have to have the shakes and why I have to have a blue helmet.

I want to know but I can't.

But sometimes it's okay cause Boss is here and I'm tired and I had a shake but it's going to be okay because Boss can watch everything. Which is good cause he doesn't have holes.

But I have one. Or maybe lots.

I can't remember right now cause I'm really tired.