Chapter 18- Flowers
2 am. Honeysuckle. All Delphine smelled was honeysuckle. It wafted in over fresh, crisp spring air from the open window and it made her stomach churn. She tried to breathe against the nausea, hoping it would pass. When it didn't, she jumped out of bed and bolted to the bathroom. Barely making it to the toilet in time, she lost her dinner in heavy heaves as she hung around the bowl by her forearms.
The familiar tiny patter of feet entered the bathroom: Cosima. She felt the relief wash over her. Her heart filled with love and comfort surrounded her. A small hand rubbed her back while the other held her hair back.
This wasn't Cosima. She felt her heart sink, but promptly swell at the voice that came with the touch.
"Maman? Is this the baby?" Charlotte asked.
Delphine nodded, taking in deep breaths as she felt the waves of nausea pass.
"Ok. I am here. Tell me what you need" the tiny voice whispered to her.
Delphine reached for the toilet paper and cleaned around the bowl before reaching up and flushing the toilet "Mouthwash?" she asked of her daughter.
Charlotte nodded and let go of her hair momentarily to stand and grab the bottle and a cup from the counter. She handed both to her maman and went back to rubbing her back.
"Merci" Delphine chimed, sitting down next to the toilet and rinsing out her mouth.
"De rien, maman. Can I get you a ginger ale?" the small girl asked, knowing it made her feel better when she was sick.
Delphine spit the mouthwash into the toilet and shook her head. "I am okay. Could you close the window in the bedroom please? The flowers are making me nauseous" she asked again of Charlotte as she slowly stood.
Charlotte helped her up and nodded, running ahead and closing the window. The small girl came back to help her mother back in to bed.
Delphine laid down and let out a sigh, pulling Charlotte to her body as the girl covered them in the duvet "I thought you were your Mummy for a moment there" she admitted to her daughter.
Charlotte smiled sadly and nodded against Maman's chest "I miss her too. I'm sorry I can't be her for you."
Delphine chuckled "Oh no, ma chérie, I am glad that you are you for me. Mummy is one thing, but nurse Charlotte is wonderful. Thank you for taking such good care of me and your baby sister" Delphine praised, rubbing the girl's arm.
Charlotte beamed a smiled and reached for a kleenex, coughing violently into it. She whimpered against the taste of blood. This had started happening again and Maman said that there was nothing they could do right now. She was scared that she would be like Mummy, she didn't want the disease to get to her brain.
The coughing stopped and Delphine reached for another kleenex, wiping her daughter's face and taking the used one from her. She put both in the garbage next to the bed and held her daughter tighter, kissing her forehead as she heard the tiny whimpers escaping a blood lined throat.
"I know, petite. It's going to be okay. I am right here" the tall blonde whispered, rocking her daughter slightly.
Delphine started humming a french lullaby as Charlotte started to quietly sob, feeling the gravity of her situation and this illness finally set in and rest on her small shoulders. She closed her eyes and let Maman soothe her. She breathed in that smell that was particularly Maman and let it carry her to sleep.
Delphine smiled at her wife, her laptop propped up on her knees. She was looking up midwives, trying to find a solid list of people to contact.
"This one is from San Francisco. He is 62 and has delivered thousands of babies" she informed her wife, scrolling down to the about me section. She sighed "he does not believe in hospital births. Next" she joked.
Charlotte popped her head in and knocked on the door.
The blonde turned her head around and smiled "Bonne matinée ma petite. Viens ici. Good morning my little one. Come here" Delphine called out to her daughter, setting the laptop down on Cosima's bed.
The tiny clone was more than happy to walk over to her Maman. She crawled into her lap and sleepily laid her head on the familiar warm chest as Maman snuggled her.
"Did you just get up?" Delphine asked, kissing the girl's forehead.
Charlotte nodded and rubbed her eyes "What are you doing?" she asked.
Delphine touched a single finger to the girl's nose "I am searching for a midwife right now."
"Shouldn't you see an obstetrician?" the young girl asked
"Some people do, but where I come from midwives are widely used. I was born with a midwife. Besides, I am pretty sure Mamie will insist on a midwife" Delphine informed her daughter. She scrunched her nose "also I kind of like the idea of having the baby at home. I have had enough of hospitals."
"Yuck, me too. Could you really have her here?" Charlotte asked.
Delphine nodded and tickled Charlotte briefly, much to the delight of the young girl "Yes. And you can be there if you'd like. I might need you if Mummy still hasn't woken up."
"I could hold your hand and let you squeeze mine like in the movies" Charlotte noted.
The blonde chuckled and kissed her daughter's head again "Oui, ma grande."
"Did you know that she's the size of a sesame seed?" Charlotte asked her mother. "She's so tiny in your uterus Maman."
"I can see someone's doing their research" Delphine praised.
"Mamie and Opa brought me to the bookstore and let me pick one out" Charlotte told the tall blonde.
"I am so very glad that they decided to move closer. It has been great having them around" Delphine noted.
Charlotte nodded "I really like having them close. They're so funny together. I think they're best friends."
"I think you're right, little one" Delphine told her daughter. She sighed and felt her stomach grumble "Breakfast?" she asked.
Charlotte nodded and gave Maman another hug before she hopped out of her lap.
Delphine sighed as she continued to scroll through the names on the website she'd found. She was opening each link and vetting out the midwives, making a list of who to call. She could hear Sarah and Kira downstairs, talking to Cosima. Every Sunday the family had gotten in the habit of coming over to visit the dreaded clone. Delphine liked to give them their space.
The tall blonde sipped her tea, looking over at her daughter who was lounged on the couch, nose firmly in the pregnancy book she had talked about earlier. Turning her attention back to the computer, she clicked on a tab.
Her eyes went wide at the face staring back at her. She quickly saved the page in her favourites and started exploring the website. Educated at York University, strong believer in a working relationship with the hospital in case of emergencies, raving reviews, and she was queer identified. She was perfect. Delphine sighed and thought about the baggage that came with that face.
At very least she needed to be in touch with this woman to introduce her to her family. But having one of Cosima's sisters deliver their child, would it make things better or just hurt? She closed her eyes and took a moment to think. On one hand, it would be kind of like Cosima was there, but on the other it would make her miss her wife's gentle touch. This woman wouldn't know her like Cosima, she wouldn't smell and feel like Cosima. She couldn't expect that of her. Besides, it would be creepy to think of her midwife as well, her wife, wife.
Delphine sat back and sipped the tea. But if she got to know this woman first, then it would be more like Alison or Mika, expect she would be...what is this woman's name? The blonde flipped back to the top of the page: Ky. If she got to know Ky then it would be Ky, not Cosima.
Delphine took a deep breath and leaned forward, sending the woman a quick e-mail before Sarah walked back up the stairs with Kira. The blonde smiled up at her sister-in-law and niece.
"No changes?" Sarah asked.
Delphine shook her head.
"Auntie Delphine, you can take more of my bone marrow" Kira suggested.
The blonde sighed "Oh Kira, I cannot. You have had the procedure too many times. Your body needs to heal."
"But you can use your baby right?" the young girl asked.
Delphine smiled and stood up, walking over to them "Well first we need her born and healthy and happy"
Charlotte walked over "Right now she's like a tadpole" she piped in.
"Really?" Kira asked.
The tiny clone nodded and showed her cousin the book. The two sat down on the floor and started to explore it.
Sarah walked over to Delphine "You feeling okay?" she asked.
The blonde nodded "Very tired and the nausea's started, but I've had help. Thank you"
"Yeah, well S said she'd be by later with a casserole and you know you'll get about four from Alison" Sarah let her sister-in-law know.
Delphine nodded and gave her a weak smile "Thanks Sarah. Family is helping very much right now" she admitted, swallowing hard.
"Hey, Delphine, anything you need. I know we've had our differences in the past but, you've been good to my sister, yeah? And you're carrying another and well...Charlotte…"Sarah paused and took a deep breath. "I guess I'm sorry for doubting your intentions is all I'm saying. I was hard on you."
The blonde smiled and nodded "I have long since forgotten about all of that, Sarah. You are family."
Sarah smiled "Yeah, yeah I am" she sighed and tucked her dark hair behind an ear.
"Oh, something I have been meaning to talk to you about: Mika, she did not come in for treatment this morning. I have tried calling but there is no answer."
"Aw shite, stubborn Mika. I'll go check up on her today" Sarah informed Delphine.
"And there's something else" the doctor noted, reaching for her computer. She showed Sarah the picture of the midwife "Another sister?"
"That is definitely another one of us. How did you find her?" Sarah asked.
"I am searching for a midwife and saw her face. I sent her an e-mail, but thought that maybe you would want to tell her about her family" Delphine informed the LEDA leader.
Sarah nodded "Thanks, Del. Yeah, let me know when you meet with her. I'll get her up to speed and I want to make sure she's gonna take care of you and my little niece in there."
Delphine smiled "I never thought I would ever hear you say that."
Sarah squeezed Delphine's shoulder gently "You're family. In the words of a Dinsey channel original musical I never thought I would ever watch, let alone know the words to: we're all in this together" she chimed in. She gave Delphine's arm a pat "And don't ask me to do the bloody dance."
"You know the dance?" Delphine teased.
Sarah gave her a comic side eye "Don't push it, blondie."
Gemma and Oscar sat on the couch with Charlotte, they were all playing Lego Avengers on the Xbox while the grown ups visited.
"Are you taking folic acid?" Alison asked Delphine, fiddling with her ponytail.
Delphine nodded "I started when we started trying."
The soccer mom nodded in response, sipping her coffee.
"Well you look gorgeous. You're glowing" Donnie added.
"Thank you Donnie. You're very kind" Delphine told him. She noticed how sadly Alison stared into the swirl of milk in her coffee cup. "She's the size of a sesame seed" she told the woman. "And I cannot stand the smell of flowers right now. They make me so very nauseous."
Alison looked up at this "I could share a morning sickness recipe with you if you like. It should help with the nausea. How are your breasts? Are they sore?" she asked, practically clawing at the table now for information and inclusion.
"Honey…" Donnie started.
"No, no, it's okay" Delphine reassured "Yes. Very much so. I find it hard to wear a bra" Delphine told her sister-in-law.
Alison drank it all in, letting her knowledge of pregnancy and all the hours of research shine through "Well it'll be summer soon. It might be a good idea to invest in some loose dresses and tights. If you get the right cut, you won't need to wear a bra."
Delphine smiled. She felt something inside of her bubble. She'd never had a conversation like this with Alison. The housewife was completely engaged and eager about this. "Would you like to come shopping with me? We could take the kids. I know Charlotte needs some new summer clothes as well. She's growing like a weed."
Alison's face lit up and she reached across the table to cover Delphine's hand with her own. The excitement bubbled in her "We could do lunch!"
"Yes we could" Delphine affirmed.
"What are you doing next Saturday?" Alison asked, pulling out her planner.
Donnie sipped his coffee quietly.
"I am all yours. Let me ask Charlotte" she told the soccer mom. "Hey Charlotte, do you have plans next Saturday?" she called out.
"Non, Maman" Charlotte called back.
"Want to go shopping with Auntie Alison, Oscar, and Gemma?" Delphine asked.
"Definitely!" she responded as the cousins started to high five each other.
Delphine smiled and nodded to Alison "It's a date then"
"A lunch date!" she expressed back "So, when are you going to start on the nursery? We could do a nursery shopping day too"
"I think that's a little in the future, but I would like that" Delphine informed Alison.
Delphine was just settling down into bed, yawning as she turned out her side light.
"Not too late, Charlotte" she instructed the girl who was sitting up in bed, still reading the pregnancy book.
"D'accord, Maman" she responded, scooting over to be closer to her mother.
Delphine smiled and marveled over how great of a kid Charlotte was. Her new fascination with her pregnancy was adorable. The blonde felt Charlotte press a kiss to her forehead.
"Sweet dreams, don't let the bed bugs bite" the young girl whispered to her mother.
Delphine's smile widened and she closed her eyes, reaching over to let a hand gently rub her daughter's tummy while she read. The doctor liked knowing her daughter was close. Charlotte was right, having someone in bed with her was helping her sleep.
She started drifting.
Her phone rang and she groaned, reaching for it. She felt Charlotte climb over her and grab it, handing it to her. She answered.
"Hello?" she groaned.
"Delphine? It's Sarah" the Leda leader informed her.
The blonde yawned and rolled over "Did you find Mika?" she asked.
There was no answer.
"Sarah?" Delphine asked.
"She's dead. I got to her trailer and...Delphine...there was blood everywhere. They say she choked on it. I'm at the hospital now" the clone spoke through the phone.
"I'm on my way" she told the woman on the other line.
Charlotte was already up and heading to her room, having heard everything. Delphine started changing into sweats as she dialed her parents' number. She felt the heaviness of death once again descend on the room. Another clone had succumbed to the disease. She should have checked in on Mika sooner. She felt guilty. It was her job to keep the sestras safe and she was failing. She heard Charlotte cough from the other room and her heart sunk. She was going to lose all of them. She'd be left standing with Sarah and Helena and watch her family die.
No. She had to do better. She had to cure this.