Day 6

Sunday, February 6th

Around 11am

Got woken up today to people laughing loudly in the living room, and a new voice I hadn't heard in a while. Turns out, Nana had arrived a couple of hours earlier while I was asleep. A new wheelchair and gurney-bed had been made room for in the living room. I groggily rubbed my eyes, climbed out of bed and went to greet them in the living room, a drowsy "G'mornin" dribbling from my mouth.

"Aaah, there he is!" Nana exclaimed, "I'd do it myself, but I can't really walk anymore, so could you be a dear and come give your nana a hug?"

I grinned, kneeled down and hugged her. "Of course, Nana." I said happily, "It's wonderful to see you again."

"And you too," Nana said cheerfully as we parted from embrace, "So I hear you have a nice girlfriend now? When do I get to meet her?"

Immediately my smile dropped into a slight pout. Oh god dammit even Nana? "She's not my girlfriend, she's just a friend that I so happen to like."

"So, why don't you ask her out?" Nana asked.

"IT'S-" I paused and sighed, exasperatedly smiling, "It's not quite like that." I thought about telling her the whole one-month deal, but now that I thought of it, it was probably a silly move on my part to try and ask a girl I didn't really know out in the first place, and I'd probably get mocked for it mercilessly. "But I am enjoying my time with her, and her friends."

"Well, that's good!" Nana replied, "You should always try to make friends with your spouse's friends."

"She's not my g- okay you know what, nevermind! It seems like any amount of denying it that I do isn't going to convince anyone otherwise, so I'm not even gonna answer anymore." I traveled across the living room into the kitchen, clearly annoyed. Mom and Dad were both in there, eating their breakfast. We said our good mornings, and I went about to making myself a nice bowl of Fruit Loops.

"So I take it you already visited with your nana." Dad said, biting a chunk off of his toast.

"Yeah," I replied, "She seems cheerful enough."

"Well, that's good to hear…" Something about what my dad said seemed off. I remembered Mom saying that he was taking Nana's situation the hardest, and decided it probably had something to do with that. I tried and acted oblivious, munching on my Fruit Loops cheerfully.

"Any plans?" Mom asked.

"Nah," I replied, "Figured I could stay around and visit with Nana a little more." I really just wanted to catch up with her a little more.

"You can take your breakfast into this living room as long as you make sure not to spill." Mom said, smiling. I nodded gratefully, and went to the living room with my bowl, found a place to sit and made myself comfortable. Nana seemed to be idly spending her time in a crossword book. While the straight-faced cliché of it all amused me for a moment, I had to confess that I liked crossword books myself, and really, puzzles and mysteries in general, even if I was terrible at them.

One of the things I really liked about Nana was that she didn't mind other people just being around not doing much. A lot of people might start to feel awkward when someone just sits there next to you in the same room, feeling somehow obligated to start some sort of small talk, but Nana was content to stay silent as long as the other person did. The presence of company alone was good enough for both of us. So for a while, I just went about eating my cereal, enjoying the quiet, letting my head roam around randomly as it so often did.

At some point it had wandered to Miyuki, last night. Her questions…she didn't ask them in any sort of insistency, or was pushy at all. They seemed like such curious inquiries, nothing more. But the more I dwelled on it…I wondered why I liked Konata so much in the first place? There had to be something that set her apart, otherwise I might as well like Aika in the same way. But what? I'm the one that likes Konata, why would it be such a difficult question to answer?

…was there even a reason at all? Did I…maybe just like her for the sake of liking her?

"Something on your mind that you'd like to talk about?" Nana suddenly asked, not even so much as glancing away from her crossword book.

"I always did think you were psychic." I replied good-humoredly.

She chuckled a little. "Oh, when you've lived as long as I have, you tend to learn a thing or two about people."

I'd sighed. What was I to say? "I guess…my thing is…I've liked this girl for a good two years now. Ever since I saw her, really. But the more I think about it, the more I realize, I'm not sure if I even have a reason to like her."

"Then why do you like her?" It was such a simple question.

"I…have no idea. That's the thing I'm worried about."

"There has to be at least some reason, otherwise you wouldn't like her, now, would you?"

"Well…the things I thought I liked her for could easily be found in my best friend as well, but I don't like my best friend in the same way. So I'm at a loss now."

Another little chuckle came from Nana. "Ohhh, you kids. You're not even eighteen years old, you know?"

I was a little befuddled. What did that have to do with anything?

"Not that you can help that at all," she continued, "It's just the difference in perspective amuses me. I'd like to say if I were your age, boys would be the least of my concerns, but I'd be lying to myself."

I tilted my head. I knew what she was saying, I was just confused as to how it related.

"I guess what I'm saying is, it's not something I'd be much help with. It's your head, not mine. With time, you'll either find your reason, or move on."

"…will it really be that simple?" I asked.

"Probably not," she replied, "But that's what it'll come down to in the end. Unless you're really thick-headed, which I don't think you are despite your clumsiness and air-headedness, you won't wander around in this limbo you're so afraid of."

I hadn't even said anything about it, and yet she pinpointed what I was worried about most as though it were obvious from the beginning. That's what it really boiled down to. I didn't want to not know forever. So, even though I didn't know now…it was comforting that she was so certain I wouldn't be treading the line forever.

"Thanks, Nana." I said before heading to the kitchen and putting my bowl in the sink. She simply nodded, smiling.

I came back to the living room, where her and I talked about other miscellaneous things. Namely stories she told from her past, but I didn't mind. In fact, I quite liked hearing her stories. She had a certain way with words that I can't really describe, and she could make the most mundane things sound interesting. For a good while, her and I just talked.

"Do you have any plans or aspirations on what you want to become after schooling?" she asked at one point.

"Mmmmmm…" I'd hemmed and hawed over that question myself a lot, "I'm leaning towards something in photography, but I'm not sure really. I've never been much of a traveler, but I like taking pictures of things and editing them on photoshop."

"Well, there are areas in photography you wouldn't have to travel too much, surely," she replied robustly, "You could become a photography teacher, even!"

"Keh, I'd never thought of that before actually! It's something I'll have to think about…I'd also thought about something computer related, but I really just know enough to get by."

"It's a highly sought-after ability, working with computers!" she said, "Probably quite well paying, but you'd have to be careful. They change quickly, and you'd always need to keep up with that change while at the same time retaining your knowledge of the past."

I nodded. "It'd probably be more difficult than most."

After chatting a while more, I decided to head to my room and hop on my computer. Logging into Skype, I saw that Kagami was on.

Sakana: Heyo, Kagami! ^^

Kagami: Yo, Sakana. How are you today?

Sakana: Pretty good. Thanks again for that help on trig. If it's not too much, would you be able to check my paper tomorrow? I've already finished all the problems, I just want to make sure I'm doing it right.

Kagami: Of course!

Sakana: Thanks~! Um…can I ask you a question about Konata?

Kagami: Go ahead.

Sakana: I've just been thinking…why do you think I like her?

Kagami: That's a weird question. Well, from an outside perspective, I'd say you like her mainly because you and her are so similar. You get each other's references for the most part, something she hadn't had very often in real life, nor have you, I'd assume. You seem to operate on the same…wavelength, I suppose?

Kagami: Like you and her are pretty carefree in the same way, I guess. Though your apparent nervousness is present, you and her seem to have the same take on life. My sister's the same way, really. A sort of day-to-day basis unless something important enough comes along to disrupt it.

Kagami: I guess it's just a type of person, really. I tend to prepare more for the future than you guys do.

Sakana: Khihi, yeah, that's true. But it seems like you find enjoyment in it, right?

Kagami: Well of course. But I do sometimes like the idea of a lazy day off on occasion, despite that.

Sakana: I'm sure most people would.

Kagami: Hey, any reason why you're asking this sort of thing?

Sakana: *sigh* I dunno really.

Kagami: Having doubts?

Sakana: Not exactly. I know I like her still, it's just…I'm not sure it's okay to like her without a solid reason.

Kagami: Sakana. You're in high school. Just go with it. You're acting like you're going to marry the girl in a few months.

I ended up blushing very hard at the thought of marrying Konata. I imagined her look gorgeous in a wedding dress, me suddenly picking her up happily and wisking her away from the podium after the words and stuff were said. Considering how short she was, it'd probably be easy on the arms, too. Aaaah, that would be so wonderful!

Oh god. I realized that I really was acting like I was going to marry her in a few months. After a long pause, I typed.

Sakana: oh god...you're right.

I'd felt rather embarrassed that my daydreams suddenly sped off in that direction. Maybe I should take a minute to just calm down and go slower with this.

Kagami: Did you just have a daydream about it?

HOW DID SHE KNOW!? WAS I REALLY THAT EASY TO READ!?

Sakana: v.v''

Kagami: You did, didn't you?

Sakana: Sorta yeah.

Kagami: Ohhh wow. What are we gonna do with you?

Sakana: I dunno. Be her bridesmaids?

Kagami: Seriously Sakana?

Sakana: I kid, I kid! But I mean…if years in the future that does happen, I'd be totally cool with it.

Kagami: I'd love to be. Just…try to maybe calm down and take things slower?

Didn't I just think that? Is Kagami in my conscious? IS SHE my conscious? Plot twist!

Kagami: Just remember that you're a Junior in high school. While romance is nice and all, none of us really have perspective at all yet, so we shouldn't really worry too much about it. Or at least, that's what my mom and dad tell me every time I end up telling them about my crushes.

Sakana: I suppose you/they are right. I'll just go with it for now. Thanks, Kagami. I really do appreciate you being here to talk about this sort of stuff. ^^

Kagami: Not a problem.