Part Two

Chapter Two

I wake up alone. The sound of the shower running means that Peeta's awake and is getting ready for the day. How did I not wake up when he left me?

I pull my hair back, grab my notebook and walk downstairs to make some tea. It's too chilly to sit outside so I cozy up on the couch with an old quilt.

…

Dear Peeta,

I will never understand exactly why you came with me to Amherst, but I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for it. Regardless of the end result, I'll always know that your heart is a million times bigger than mine in taking this huge leap of faith.

You followed the girl who tore your heart out. I can't understand it, but God, I thank you for doing it anyway.

But maybe that's the problem. Maybe there isn't an end result. We're always evolving and changing, aren't we? And yet we always want to know the 'why,' 'where,' and 'when.'

I have to be patient with you. More than that, I have to be patient with me. You and I both know that patience was never a strong suit of mine. Help me if you can.

Last night was the first time in a long time that I took care of you. It's usually the other way around. I'm selfish like that, but I'm trying to learn to be more giving. I am. I thought my heart would beat through my chest with the combination of nerves and instinct.

I've been going through this phase where I refer to you as 'mine.' It sounds possessive in a completely negative way, but let me explain. More than just a sense of responsibility or history, I feel like our lives are so interwoven that your experiences become my own. That used to frighten me. It felt like I was suffocating. But the more in tune I am with the feelings between us, the more at peace I feel. At peace with you and me. At peace with myself on my own. I love you. And you don't have to love me back, but I'm going to give you my heart anyway2.

Katniss

…

"Good morning," he calls from the stairwell. I close my notebook and take in the sight of him, looking much better having showered and changed.

"Hey, I see you found everything okay. Towels, shampoo, soap, etcetera. Want some tea?" Peeta shakes his head no but comes to sit down next to me, snagging the cup from my hands, taking a sip and placing the mug on the coffee table.

"Nah, a sip is all I want." He smiles and brushes a loose strand of hair over my shoulder and gently grazes the exposed skin there. "Thank you, though. And thank you for last night. I, uh, occasionally remember things from the accident and can't seem to catch my breath. Being in a new place probably set me off."

"It's not a problem. I slept like the dead after that." His touch is so soothing that I can't seem to focus on anything other than that point of contact between us. Patience, Katniss. I brush the hair back off of his forehead and smile back, my fingers finally lingering on his neck. His stomach growls and I laugh. "Breakfast, I assume?"

"I can make us something. Why don't you get ready and then we can eat before heading out? You can show me the lay of the land."

I do it without thinking. I lean forward and kiss that spot between his eyebrows. My lips linger and I hear his breath hitch before a long exhale.

It's instinctive.

Neither one of us knows what to say so I blurt out "Sure, but we'll stop for coffee, my treat" and head upstairs.

…

"So this is where you work? It looks pretty granola." Peeta gets out of my car and sizes up the café as he walks to the entrance.

"It is. But I'm not drinking wheatgrass, so it's okay." I smile, grab his hand and lead him inside. Finnick is at the counter and raises his head when the bell chimes. He smiles back and we walk up to the counter to place our order.

"Well if it isn't our dearest Kitty Kat, coming back to us from America's Dairyland." Finnick reaches across the counter for a hug and I oblige. My arm links around Peeta's waist and I start the introductions.

"Finn, this is Peeta." I look up to his face and relish in the genuine smile, Peeta taking Finnick's hand and shaking it.

"Great to meet you, man. Katniss talks about you so much that I feel like I know you." He moves his head to the side, trying to see something past Peeta. "Though contrary to what she's told us, the sun does not seem to be shining out of your ass."

Peeta raises his eyebrows before looking at me. I'm red from embarrassment but find a way to laugh. "Shut up."

He doesn't miss a beat. "Eh, it only shines like that on Tuesdays. Katniss tells me that you pull a great shot of espresso."

"That I do. This cappuccino will change your life."

Peeta nods and I ask for the same. I love seeing Peeta here in my environment. It's making it real.

"Peeta, Katniss tells me that you're looking for a job?"

"Yeah, I'm hoping to solidify something today. Hear of anything?"

"In fact, a friend of mine is hiring and I'm told that you're this baking phenom. Would you be game for a baking gig, or were you hoping to get something in your field?"

"Baking would actually be preferable. I have some freelance graphic design projects that I'm working on for a few clients, so keeping up with the kitchen would be a great."

Huh?

Finnick raises his eyebrows and nods, clearly impressed. "Sounds like you'll be busy."

"I hope so."

"Well here's the number for my friend Rue. She owns Henion Bakery3 here in town; they supply us with most of our baked goods so you two could make special arrangements. You know, a croissant for a cup. A bun for the barista. Go ahead, get creative." Finnick winks and I want to die. Peeta is laughing though, squeezing my side. "In fact, you guys should just stop by the bakery today to say hi."

"We will. Thanks, man. This will help a lot." Peeta takes a sip of his drink and nods. "Katniss wasn't lying."

I mention to Finnick that I'll be back at work tomorrow before we take our drinks and go. I'm bucking my seatbelt and balancing my own cup, trying to digest everything that just happened. God, I had missed so much. I hadn't even thought to ask Peeta what he had been doing aside from, well, recovery. Should I have asked for more information? I grew so accustomed to knowing everything.

"I didn't know you had some jobs in the arts lined up. Peeta, that's great news!"

"A few things, yeah. That's the beauty of working remotely. Just some logo work and website design. It's not a big deal." He rubs one hand along the back of his neck again, almost looking embarrassed.

Placing my hand on his, I say, "I know I've missed a lot, but I'm really proud of you. And it is a big deal. There's so much I don't know…you can fill me in, you know. I want you to."

"I know. A lot's happened since the accident; hell, a lot's happened just in the past couple of days. I want to know more about what you've been up to, too."

"Great. It's a date then." I move to put the car in drive but Peeta stops me, leaving it in park.

"Do you still have a rule about not making out on the first date?" He wiggles his eyebrows trying to make the point even more obvious. I've missed his sense of humor and I can't stop laughing. The spark reaches his eyes.

"You've seen me naked so I think we've successfully passed that milestone, Peeta. Years ago as a matter of fact."

"You're beautiful when you laugh, you know." He kisses me soundly and then sits back so I drive toward the downtown area, pointing things out along the way.

…

Henion Bakery is one of my favorite places in Amherst; their bakery is enough to make me pay for parking. Peeta would be a natural here, but he has a plan and I'm going along with it. He walks up to the display and orders an embarrassing assortment of pastries, buns, slices of cakes and pie before grabbing glasses for water. I grab forks and napkins and take a seat next to him, waiting for the ridiculous amounts of food to be set in front of us.

Eating with Peeta is pretty sensory. It starts innocently with plates being turned, lifted to eye level and tipped just slightly. I think the artist in him is looking for color variations and basic visual appeal. Then items get tapped with a fork for good measure. He moves on to what he calls 'the nasal appraisal,' a test of smell and how his taste buds react to them. I think that the 'nasal appraisal' makes him look like a little boy who's skeptical of the plate in front of him, but it's endearing. The first bite is for taste and texture. Sip of water. The second is for final review.

With an order of 12 items in front of us, the rest is delegated to the 'to go' box.

"Well, Baker Boy, what do you think?" Rue herself is standing at our table with a smirk on her face, but she quickly seats herself across from us and shakes our hands. "I'm Rue, the owner of Henion Bakery. Finn told me that you were coming over and I see that you've been studying. Well, what do you think?"

"I'm Peeta, and this is Katniss." He clears his throat and takes a sip of water, the blush creeping up his neck. "It's good. This is delicious."

"But—."

"But—." He sighs, "But I think that the base for your scones is just barely too moist. The cranberry with that icing is cloyingly sweet. You use vodka in your pie dough, which is good, but I think you should go half and half with the butter and shortening. Or maybe just lard. Your sourdough is perfection; serve it with unsalted butter. The jelly donut should never change3."

Rue is trying hard to look stern, but is failing miserably. "Anything else you'd like to point out?"

"Not yet. I've only gotten through half of my plates."

She laughs and so do we, relieved that the critique has been well received. Rue emits this amazing warmth that you can't help but gravitate toward and she seems to like Peeta's honest analysis.

"There's a lot that we do well here, but I want to work with someone who will push us a bit. Maybe tweak a few things with existing recipes and try out a few more new ones. We can start with part-time work and go from there. What do you think?"

"Can I check out the kitchen?" Peeta's practically bouncing out of the booth and we follow Rue to the back.

"Don't you think about messing with the jelly donut, kid."

Chapter Two Notes

2. This line more or less comes from "Untamed Heart" which was just mentioned on tumblr in the last week. I actually squealed. Sad, lovely movie. Awful attempt at Minnesota accent.

3. Henion Bakery. Teeny tiny little bakery in downtown Amherst. Amazing.