Day 8

Tuesday, February 8th

Morning

"Hey Mom...how's Nana been looking?" I asked quietly over my bowl of cereal.

"We're...not entirely sure. She seems to have been sleeping a lot more than usual, and it's making us worry a little…"

"I noticed...mm...I suppose having visitors over is out of the question?"

Mom shot me a surprisingly dirty look. "Out of the question."

I suppose in retrospect, it was a bit of an insensitive thing to say. This was supposed to be my Nana's last few days here, and having a girl I liked over during that time was extremely selfish of me. Nodding solemnly to tell her I understood, I finished up my cereal and waited for the usual text from Aika - once received, I made my way quietly out of the house and caught up to walk alongside her to school.

I wondered how to word what had happened yesterday to Aika. Maybe a guessing game? Maybe I should tiptoe around it for fun.

"You're looking sprightly today." Aika commented with a little smirk, "Something happen that I should know about?"

"I got my first kiss yesterday." I immediately blurted out with a blatant disregard for all tact or buildup.

Aika's eyes widened and lit up. "Whoaaaaaa! Look at loverboy over here~! I was wondering how long it'd take, finally you're closer up to my level."

"What even is your level?"

"Well, I'm not a virgin, so…"

"Christ, d'you have to say it so bluntly?"

"Why shouldn't I? Nothin' to be ashamed of~"

"I mean, you're right, I'm just…"

"Too innocent for that sort of thing?"

"N-not used to the idea, I guess."

"Well, get used to it, I guess. Gotta get grown up about this sorta stuff sometime, Sakana. Soooooo~? How was it?"

I paused for a moment. "It was...how do I say…"

"Not like in the movies and the animes?"

"W-well...yeah actually, pretty much. It was...really...real."

Aika snorted. "Really real? Makes it sound like you're making it up."

"I-i'm not making it up!" I turned my head away for a moment before continuing. "I really did get my first kiss yesterday! I-i just mean...it's really not like in media. It was all very...real...and just...happened. And it was great, don't get me wrong, it was awesome, and it made me think a lot, but it just happened too, and that's all there was to it. I keep repeating it in my head and it was just so...un-romanticised. I'm not even sure if it was romantic at all. I'm not sure if it needed to be or not, I'm not sure what I was expecting…"

Eventually I turned my head upwards to see an exasperated look on Aika's face.

"God damn, Sakana…" she practically sighed out with a hand on her head, "You really overanalyze this sort of stuff, don'cha? Can't you just enjoy a kiss for what it is?"

"Well," I began to ask, "What was your first kiss like?"

Aika raised her eyebrows. "I 'unno, it just kind of happened and it was nice. That's all I really needed to know."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"And you didn't think about it at all?"

"Nnnnnope. At least not as much as you are. Why? Did you not enjoy it?"

"N-no, I did! Quite a lot, actually...but it's weird, I'd been building myself up for all of this for two whole years...now that it's happened I feel…"

"Disappointed?"

"That's not quite the right word…"

How do I even feel about it?

"It's like…" I began, "I just...wonder where I go from here. Where we go from here."

"Well, there is one way you could go." Aika said in a low, playful tone.

I immediately blushed, knowing exactly where she was going with that. "I-i uh...u-uh…"

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about it."

"O-only a couple of times! I u-usually don't think about stuff like that b-because I mean...yeesh...I dunno if I'm ready for that sort of thing. For one, it's way too fast, I mean...I'd at least like to be dating for a few months beforehand…"

Aika casually put her hands behind her head as she kept walking. "Eeeh, I suppose that's a fair point."

"I actually lost a bet with her." I said, changing the subject slightly, "Turns out she's better at Soul Calibur than I am, so I've gotta make her dinner. I agreed to it yesterday without thinking, but since my Nana's around, I'm gonna have to reschedule."

"S' probably a good idea, dolt." was all Aika replied with, a little smile forming. "Oh, it's also Kuroi-sensei's birthday today, just givin' you a head's-up."

"Huh? No kidding?" We had approached and entered the school at this point. "I'll be sure to say something to her then. I'd have tried getting her a gift had I known…"

We didn't say much more as we went into World History class with Kuroi-sensei. Class took place as usual, and ran until the bell rang. Students shuffled out, but I lagged behind, thinking it would be nice to wish her a happy birthday. I was slightly surprised - did no one else know about her birthday? And where did Aika go?

I got up and meandered nearby the door before turning to Kuroi-sensei...then turning back again.

What? Why the hell am I feeling all weird and shy? Oh god, don't tell me I'm somehow getting the hots for her too...that's just messed up, what's wrong with me? No, that can't be it. I'm just being a weirdo. Just turn around and wish her a happy birthday, that's all there is to it!

I turned around and bowed myself. "Um...happy birthday Kuroi-sensei!" I squeaked out before running off to lunch. I caught a slightly surprised, but grateful look from her for the fraction of a second I saw her before running off embarrassed, and I took that as enough of a thank you for me.

In the classroom, Kuroi was nearly getting choked up. That kid was the only one who remembered…

Lunchtime

"This kid's better at Soul Calibur than I thought he'd be, I'll tell you that much." Konata remarked as we all sat to have lunch.

I grinned sheepishly. "She still beat me almost twice as much as I did."

"Still," Kagami started as she opened her box of lunch, "I've seen how Konata plays at arcades before. She makes quick work of fully grown adults without breaking a sweat, so for you to have won even that much isn't something to be taken lightly."

"Eheh...y'think so?" I asked with a little blush. Kagami and Tsukasa both nodded. "Well, thanks then~"

"But he lost the last match," Konata pointed out with a little satisfied smile, "So he owes me home cooked dinner today~"

I gave a slight nervous chuckle. "About that, actually...gonna have to reschedule. I forgot in the heat of the moment that my Nana's visiting. Should only be for a few days." I decided to not bring up the reason behind her visit.

Konata gave a shrug, seemingly unfazed. "Ah well, can't be helped. Chalk it up to an I.O.U, I suppose~ maybe I'll keep remindin' you just to get on your nerves, that sounds like fun." I sweatdropped at that.

How long could I realistically deal with that sort of thing if we were in a relationship? I hope she's kidding…

I sighed a little. Between what was happening at home, and now these odd doubts I was beginning to have about Konata...I wasn't entirely certain what was going on or why.

"Hey...you okay? You seem a bit down." Tsukasa quietly chimed.

I looked up at her, and couldn't help but smile a little, genuinely appreciative. "Ah...I just think too much, is all." Tsukasa seemed satisfied with that answer, while Kagami seemed to tilt her head a little, but didn't pursue the subject further.

After School - At Home

I'd walked home with Aika, as usual, but didn't talk too much. Seems she also sensed something wrong with me, and I'd have told her had I known entirely what was wrong myself, but all I could really say was that I was 'thinking too much'. It wasn't wrong, but wasn't specific either.

Later that day, in my oddly quiet house, I hopped onto Skype. Aika unfortunately just didn't think the same way I did, not even close, and that was probably a good thing on her end, and anyone else I'd feel weird about talking with for this sort of thing.

Sakana: you on?

A couple of second pass.

Kagami: Yeah, what's up?

Sakana: Can I talk to you about Konata?

Kagami: I knew something was up at lunch. Having doubts?

Sakana: ...I don't know, that's the thing. It's like...ever since yesterday I've been looking at stuff more realistically y'know?

Kagami: It's a bit surprising. You two seemed made for each other a week ago. Kinda still do imo.

Sakana: Right? It still kind of feels like that for me too. But it's like...I've been building stuff up like yesterday for two years. I...uh, had my first kiss from her yesterday.

Kagami: Really? Congrats.

I blinked for a second. Congrats?

Sakana: o.o Thanks. But it's like...ever since then, it was like some sort of spell was broken. For two years straight I'd felt like she was the absolute perfect girl for me. Loves gaming and anime and manga and all the nerd stuff I like, and really pretty too. And that's like, all I cared about right? And when I say all this stuff out loud - or in text i guess - those feelings start to come back and I start to get all fluttery and lighthearted and stuff.

Kagami: So what's the issue?

Sakana: The moment I start thinking about it realistically it all falls apart. A part of me still really wants to be with her but then I start thinking things like 'Well, what if her hijinx get old?' or 'What if she doesn't get me emotionally?' Stuff like that. And then I start thinking that I'm thinking too much and then it's just ech total mess in my head.

Kagami: So...you're afraid that you've over-romanticized her in your head?

Sakana: Yes. Yes, exactly, couldn't have said it better myself.

Kagami: Well, with her deal or whatever it was, you've still got three more weeks at least. And it seems like you at least get along with her, so I wouldn't worry too much.

That's right...there's still three more weeks. What have I even been worrying about this whole time? God, I feel dumb.

Kagami: Besides, I get that at our age it might seem like relationships are this huge deal, but it's really not in the grander scheme of things.

Sakana: It's true, I suppose...not really satisfying though.

Kagami: We're in high school. As long as we do well in our academics, get into a good college and make something of ourselves, the other stuff isn't as important, right?

Sakana: Ech...I always sucked at thinking about the future.

Kagami: -.-'' another similarity you share with Konata. And Tsukasa, for that matter. S2g I feel like I'm the only one taking their future seriously.

Sakana: Hey now, if I wasn't, I wouldn't be thinking so much about this sort of stuff, would I?

Kagami: I guess that's kind of true. But anyway, just try not to worry too much about it, okay? Worst case scenario, you lose feelings for her and move on. There's still the rest of the month, remember that.

I took a deep breath.

Sakana: Yeah...okay, you're right. Thank you, Kagami. You really did help clear my head a good bit. ^_^

Kagami: Um...no problem. ^^; how's trig been treating you?

Sakana: Honestly? I feel like the more concepts that get introduced, the farther behind I stray. It's distressing. I've tried going at it myself but I seem to be getting things mixed up yet again.

Kagami: Remember the tricks I taught you?

Sakana: Yeaaaaah...at least I think I do. But whenever I try to apply them, it's like something else I didn't anticipate happens, some sort of spanner or monkey wrench, echhhh.

Kagami: I'm sure you'll get the hang of it at some point. You've at least got the basics down now right?

Sakana: I think so. Better than before at least, that's for certain.

Kagami: Well, there you go. I can try to help you tomorrow if you promise you pay attention.

Sakana: I always pay attention, don't I?

Kagami: Yeah, you do. Sorry, I'm just so used to Konata.

Sakana: That must be rough. I'm gonna head to bed now.

Kagami: Goodnight then.

Sakana: G'night~