Chapter 42: Welcome to Existence

Soon after Riley turns two, in mid-March, I hold my Victory Tour.

It's late, I know. Peeta had his in winter. The Capitol was gracious enough to postpone it for me once they found out I was pregnant. Now through my first trimester, the baby is healthy enough where strenuous traveling is permissible.

The Tour is fine, and I put on a good enough show. My Victory Party in the Capitol is the hard part. Peeta helps me through it.

In the middle of the festivities, Effie finds me in the crowd. "Katniss, dear, there is someone waiting to meet you."

Peeta's expression is blank, unreadable. I nod to him. "I'll see you in a minute." I follow Effie into a corridor of the Presidential Palace, and she shows me into a room.

I am surprised by what I find. A pudgy man sits on a sofa near a fireplace. Standing in the center of the room is a man who makes my blood boil in rage. Cato Ludwig, the Career from District 2 who killed Gale.

"Ah, there you are, Mrs. Mellark," the pudgy man drawls. "We've been waiting for you."

I approach Cato slowly, making sure he sees the glare on my face. He just smirks. "Hello, Girl on Fire."

I do not respond. Dead silence in the room.

"Well, don't just stand there!" Pudgy Man suddenly orders. "Go on and fuck already!"

I whirl on him, my mouth dropping open. "Excuse me?! I'm a married woman! You're out of your damn mind!" The order is bad enough. That he wants me to do it with the murderer of my eldest child's father -

"And I am also a paying customer!" Pudgy Man booms. "You two fuck NOW!"

Then he drops the bomb: "Or your husband and the little brat will suddenly be in a lot of pain."

No. They wouldn't dare! I whirl back towards Cato, threatening to explode like a volcano. Neither of them can just expect me to betray my marriage vows like this! And with this little…..

I grab Cato's shirt. His eyes widen in fear for the briefest instant before I crash his lips to his. I lick my way into his mouth in no time at all. My fingers sink into his blond curls, and I register they are not nearly as luscious as Peeta's. Only I don't just sink my fingers there. I sink my nails down into his scalp. Cato lets loose a groan into my mouth, and I can't tell if it's out of pleasure or pain. Frankly, I don't care.

Quicker than lightning, I back him up into the bed until he falls back onto it, taking me with him. I pin him to the mattress like I would pin one of the kills on my hunt and quickly bestride him. I tear at his clothes, eager to tear at his shitty little flesh, throwing the garments this way and that. I am disgusted when I see his fat member bobbing back and forth like a Bobo Doll. So unattractive!

"Suck…. suck me off!" Cato moans.

I pause for the briefest instant. The only man's cock I have tasted is that of my husband. It is the one sexual gift I have uniquely given to him, and him alone.

Then again, who said that sucking this loser's dick had to be pleasant?

I latch my mouth around Cato's cock and begin to suck. Violently. This time, though, I draw my teeth along the flesh there, making sure he feels pain. The pathetic sounds he is making tells me it's working.

"Ohhhh! Uhhhh! Uhhhh!" and it is debatable whether he is enjoying this. I smirk in sadistic satisfaction. As soon as he bursts in my mouth, I spit the wretched thing out of my mouth and proceed to come down on him.

But I don't just come down. I belly flop on his dick, and the yelp Cato now gives is very clearly one of pain. Immensely pleased with what I am eliciting from him, I continue to bounce up and down on the loser. Thank goodness I am already pregnant and have been taking the Pill to boot.

At last, with a roar, Cato cums inside me. I collapse on him so hard, the bed quakes. At least I didn't cum for the bastard. I did what Pudgy Face told me to do while still keeping myself in the driver's seat.

In a twisted way, Pudgy Face looks pleased with what I have displayed. "Angry sex? You do that with Peeta, Katniss?"

I don't answer him. It's none of his damn business.

Pudgy Man leaves the room. As soon as he's gone, I practically somersault off of Cato and begin to throw on my clothes without even looking at him.

Only now does guilt wash over me. What have I just done? I defiled my marriage bed, committing the greatest act of betrayal I could against my spouse. I sigh, holding back the tears, and square my resolve. I will just have to tell him, then, and pray he forgives me.

Fully dressed, I stalk out of the room.

"Katniss, wait!"

I spin around to face Cato. "What do you want?" I snap.

Strangely, there is no smugness on this hated enemy's face now, only what must be, at least to him, sincerity. "What was that all about? Why were you so violent in there?"

"You don't know?" I ask accusingly, baring my teeth. When no answer is forthcoming, I spit, "You killed my first love."

Cato shrugs calmly, as if I had just accused him of stealing a cookie from a cookie jar. "It's possible. I killed a lot of people in that arena."

"So many that you don't even remember the kill that made you Victor?" I seethe.

Something clicks in his mind. "Ah! I remember this lover of yours, I think. This would have been the hunter from 12, yes?"

Anger has deflated from me at his description of Gale, and I mourn for my daughter's father all over again. I nod.

"He died well. That should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering."

"I know how he died, Career, I watched the footage myself…." I growl warningly, my temper threatening a resurgence.

"Then you might as well thank me. I did your boyfriend a favor. He died before he discovered what you really are."

"And what am I?" I challenge, my anger back in full. But Cato gives as good as he gets.

"Faithfulness is what makes a relationship work, madame, enduring faithfulness! Now tell me truly: when you found out he was dead, did you couple with Mellark within the hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?"

"YOU MOCK MY PAIN!" I scream at him.

"LIFE IS PAIN, EVERDEEN!" Cato roars back. "Anyone who says differently is selling a bill of goods."

"WELL, NEVER MOCK ME AGAIN! PART OF ME DIED THAT DAY! And you can die too, for all I care!" With that, I turn on my heel and leave Cato in my wake.

I burst onto the 12th floor of the Tribute Training Center.

"PEETA JOSEPH MELLARK!"

My husband comes running, Haymitch right on his heels. I eye them both with a look of pure stone.

"So, that's it, then? Along with mentoring, I'm expected to betray my marriage vows by fucking every other Victor or Capitol sleaze who comes along? Why didn't you tell me?" I have no idea whether my husband knows of this arrangement or not, but his blank look and silence - his signature stance whenever we have gotten into a bad fight - is all the prove I need. He's aware.

Haymitch speaks up, obviously not amused by my rantings. "We didn't tell you about the whoring because you didn't need to know. It would have been better if the President met with you."

"BULLSHIT, HAYMITCH!" I shriek. Then, I read into his words. "Wait…. what do you mean, 'the President meet with me'?"

Peeta sighs. "Before going home, every new Victor is required to meet with the President. There, he tells you that he expects you to entertain anyone in the Capitol who has the money. You refuse, he threatens those you love."

"He didn't meet with me after my Games," I point out quietly.

"He couldn't. What with your wedding coming up and all, it wouldn't have looked good," Haymitch explains. "It was also the real reason your Victory Tour was postponed."

I pause, considering this. Still in a snit, I turn back to Peeta.

"So, who have you fucked already then, honey?" I drawl, my voice sickly sweet. "Who have you cheated on me with?"

Peeta's eyes narrow. "First of all," he gets out, his voice dangerously low, "I did not cheat. And neither did you! Neither of us have any choice! Second, I had to sleep with Johanna Mason on my Victory Tour. Then a Capitol lady so I could get the money for your sponsor gift in the arena."

My head snaps to Haymitch. "And who's had to crawl between your legs?" I sneer.

Haymitch scowls. "Nobody, sweetheart. When I met with Snow all those years ago, I still called the old fart's bluff after he threatened my family. Then, he killed them all. With no leverage left over me, along with the fact that I was already drinking heavily, I was propped up as an example of disobedience and left alone. The. Fucking. End."

I stare at him, my eyes suddenly wanting to fill with tears. "Oh, Haymitch…. I'm so sorry…."

He waves me off. "Save it. Both of you - go to bed. And you both better be alive when I come get you in the morning!"

Peeta and I retreat to our chambers, spending the whole night with our backs to each other. Absolutely no sex whatsoever. There's been enough of that for one day.