(Disclaimer: I own nothing.)
The second reason.
After the other day I have had to avoid my friends and sister. But I've found one who understands what I do. And I hang out with him. Naraku Onigumo. He tells me why I do and he also says to wait till I cut and think I might die from it. The closer I get to naraku the more I begin to think I like him more than a friend. He's kind to me and thinks what my father does is wrong. Yes I told him my darkest secret. Telling him had made me want to cut again and I didn't know what to do. So he lent me his razor for the moment. And when he comes to school and forgot his id have one in my locker.
I was always there for him so when he killed himself and his mother father and I were the only one there I couldn't understand. He wasn't harmful to anyone but himself is that why he did this? Had he done this out of loneliness? Was I not a good enough friend for him?
But when I got home I checked my email. He had sent me one last message.
Dear kagome try to understand that you were one true love. I just can't stand the road I've been going on. I wanted to say that I loved you and will still in death. I wanted you to know I wasn't truthful to you. You were always truthful to me and in turn gave you lies. I was abused at home just like you thinking I could find a way to release myself I began to cut 5 years ago. I was ten then. And as they got progressively worst I was abandoned by those who wanted to help me get past this. Kagome then you came into my life with my same story and you brought out my happy side for a time. But I didn't like the reminder every day that there was still one person in my life who I loved that was in so much pain. So I ended it. I know you probably think this is your fault. And it is not okay? I love you… maybe when your sky comes crashing to the ground I can be your angel in the sky. And when you get tired ill carry you along till you say not to. I'm sorry for this. But this is my final good bye.
Seeing all that he had said I began to cry. Felt horrible. He was in so much pain that I didn't even notice. I ran to my dresser and pulled out the knife that naraku had given me .I dragged it down my arm the fine line of scarlet oozing its way down my arm leaving a tear trail worth a thousand and one words I could never say. Pressing deeper I felt my bone. Smiling I let the blood run freely down my arm. Dropping down in dizziness and finally passing out.
I woke in dry blood. Kikyou was holding a towel to my arm. Tears ran from her eyes.
"What were you thinking? Was this you final goodbye too? Naraku wouldn't want you to do this to yourself kagome. Nobody likes to see you like this. In pain every day for no reason."
No….. Reason…..
Hmmm. Perhaps to her it's no reason. But as I pull away the towel I see exactly how much damage I had done to my arm. Pink bone as visible and it made me want to smile. I stitched it up and walked back to clean my mess. Scrubbing away blood and memories.
Kikyou left me alone to think and as I held tight to the pain in my arm this was reason number two.
Nobody can really understand it till they've had it happen to them. To have a pain in your heart that won't go away without physical pain. And then you're alone.