Buffy hadn't wanted to tell her friends under the fear that they might ask pressing questions she wasn't willing to answer. The things that her and Spike had done, what they had shared in however twisted a way, were private and to admit to any of it, particularly under these circumstances, felt like a betrayal. Not all of the moments had been bad. When she had given into his charms and allowed him just a taste of what it might feel like to woo her, Buffy felt as though she were seeing the real Spike. It was only when she pulled back and came at him with full and aggressive force that he threw it right back at her. The poor guy was good at giving her what she wanted.

Only the fear that Spike would return and reveal himself before she could find him, that he might go after her friends first, made her tell them. Their reactions were predictable. Xander had been angry, saying over and over again how he had warned them about this happening. Willow had itched to reach for her magic books to find the solution there, but Tara's nervous eyes and expression prevented her. She had only seen Anya in passing after the disastrous wedding, but the former and possibly current demon had just told Buffy it was their problem, not hers. Over the phone, Giles had sighed heavily and she picture him cleaning his glasses, his grim warning reminding her of her duty. Tara and Dawn were the only ones sympathetic to Spike and questioning of Buffy's motives. They couldn't quite believe that the vampire they had come to know so well in the past few years was capable of the destruction he once had. Of them all, it was only them two who had asked her why she was so certain of this possible rampage in the first place. She hadn't been able to look them in the eye when she came up with a half-hearted lie, though Tara's demeanor spoke of knowledge she wouldn't reveal. It was because of this, and Dawn's sulking, that Buffy was avoiding being alone with either of them.

It was something just to have a mission again. Staving off the nerdy trio was infuriating, but the slayer in her was itching for a fight, for a worthy opponent. If she didn't think of said opponent being Spike, it was easy for the warrior side to take charge. When she remembered just what it was in which she was preparing, a weird knot twisted in her stomach, something like dread, fear, and sadness. But it was better than the emptiness that she had fallen into so often before, the emptiness from which Spike had so often saved her. Even in his absence, he was doing her a favor. She wanted to hate him.

On patrol, she narrowed in on the vamped out faces, full out hate and blood lust, spiting them for their existence as she staked them into oblivion. But when she tried to envision Spike, coming at her as they did now, as he once had, it was different. Human face or vampire visage, he was different. Spike fought like he loved, with everything he had. She was not simply a vehicle for his aggression and so if it came down to it, she knew she could stake him, but it would cost her a lot to do it.

Had he loved her? Buffy thought now maybe he had, or still did, and it killed her to think of what she had driven him to do. Thoughts like this reminded her of Angel and when she had had to send him to Hell. After being brought back by Willow, Buffy had ] too much reflection time, but she had realized that even soulless, Angel had loved her in his dark and twisted way, he had just been consumed and obsessed by it that he lashed out in his violent and domineering way. Soulless Spike was far tamer, which spoke volumes considering his capabilities, but the chip prevented him from acting on his urges to the extreme. Now he would die, at her own hands, because his love for her had once again been too encompassing. It was not a pretty thought.

After one last sweep of the cemetery, Buffy brushed herself off and headed home. She was looking forward to falling into bed, but as she rounded the corner, she noticed Willow and Dawn waiting for her on the steps. This could not be good.

"What's with the faces?"

Buffy saw the small, black gadget cradled in Willow's hands before the red-head held it up for her.

"Huh?"

Willow looked at her like it was obvious.

"It's a camera."

"For security purposes?"

"It's not my camera."

"Someone's creeping on us majorly. This is the fifth one we found, all over the house. And we're being bugged, which means whoever did this can hear us too." Dawn ended the rant with an exasperated sigh to ensure that Buffy understood the severity of the situation.

"Tremendous. And here I thought I might have a quiet evening. Any idea who's creeping?"

Willow chewed her lip as she thought about it.

"Well, my first thought was Spike-"

"He wouldn't-" Dawn burst out.

"But he hasn't been around in weeks and these look new. Plus, I don't think he's all up on the technology except for working the TV and of course, the Buffybot, which means-"

"Warren," Buffy frowned as she said it.

"And his band of nerds."

Dawn looked at them with contempt.

"Just jump right to Spike first though, of course. He isn't even here anymore and yet we're still blaming him. No wonder he went off to get his chip out. I'd hate us too."

"Dawnie-"

"Don't."

Ignoring Buffy's sighs, Dawn stalked back into the house. Willow looked at her with sympathetic understanding.

"She'll see reason when he comes back, unfortunately. I don't know who will take it harder, her or Tara. He's all either of them talk about anymore.

Great, Buffy thought. Poor Dawn and Tara missing Spike. None of them had allowed her to grieve Angel properly when she knocked him off, so she couldn't imagine the warm and fuzzies coming her way if she had to do the same to Spike.

"Come on in, I think I can figure out where these feeds lead."

With another sigh, Buffy shuffled inside behind Willow. Dawn made her way back downstairs as Willow set up at the computer. They all watched in horror as all the places the cameras had been set up to watch them revealed themselves.

"Oh, lookie us getting techie. Do you really think setting a camera up in Spike's crypt gives us an advantage?"

Xander's grin quickly turned into a deep frown when the women turned on him.

"Hey, I'm not the one with the camera."

"Neither are we," Buffy said. "It seems the trio's been watching us, but we have no idea for how long. Willow and Dawn found the cameras here, they have it at your apartment, Spike's crypt, and-" Buffy paused as another feed popped up showing the Magic Box. "But of course."

"We're sure it's the trio and not the Undead? I mean, who else would want to watch Buffy so closely?"

Dawn's glare shut him up quickly.

"Anya!" Xander pointed to the feed. "It's Anya. I haven't seen her in- so this must mean she's back."

They all turned their attention back to the screen to watch as Anya strode around the store, shutting things down for the night.

"She seems- Well, she doesn't seem too-That son of a bitch!"

It took Buffy a second to realize what was causing Xander's reaction, but when she saw it, she froze. Her entire body shuddered as she watched Spike bang on the door of the Magic Box before thrusting the door open and stumbling inside. He looked terrible and she grimaced, wondering if his wounds were still from the alley or if something else had gotten him.

"They're speaking, turn it up!"

"I'm not waiting around, watching him-"

"Just wait a second, Xan-" Buffy grabbed him by the arm, holding him in place. "They're just talking."

On the screen, Anya jumped and reached for a stake that had been sitting on the counter.

"For your information, vampire, I'm no longer a part of that little Scooby group either any longer, so you can just take your chip-less fangs elsewhere!"

"What are you babbling on about?"

"We know what you went off to do. Buffy told us."

"Buffy? Buffy knows? But how-?"

"I don't care how she knows, just know that she knows and she's going to kill you for it."

To all their surprise, Spike burst out laughing, but not in a cheerful sort of way. His tone was bitter and haunting.

"I'd be better off that way. Take the pain and blast it into pieces."

"The pain, but- Do you mean from getting the chip out?"

Spike stopped muttering to himself and looked up at her. When he took a step closer, Xander took advantage of Buffy's loosened grip and broke away. He was out the door before she could react, but Buffy's focus remained on the screen, so transfixed that she barely noticed.

"The chip?" Spike's voice was barely a whisper and all three women leaned in closer. "The bloody chip is useless. Didn't get it removed, if that's what you think. Might as well have. Is that what she believes? Good, tell her that then."

"But-"

"Look, I came to find something that would dull the pain. Do you know any spells to make someone numb or-"

"But what sort of pain? Physical? Because you look like hell and- Wouldn't blood be your best bet? Do you really still have the chip because that would be a relief because if you hate Xander as much as I do then it would be nice to have an ally? Always thought we were similar and if you wanted to make a wish, I-"

"Didn't you marry the Whelp?"

"He didn't go through with it. Ran away actually and-"

"Ponce." Spike collapsed against the counter. "Listen, I don't care what I look like, I just want something to numb the- hey, back off!"

Anya's eyes widened as she stepped closer to him as though to inspect his injuries. When his eyes met hers, she froze. She raised a hand to his forehead to wipe the messy curls away from his eyes.

"How did you do it?" She whispered. "How did you get your soul back?"

Buffy knew it to be true even without his response. She could see it in him, his defeat and grief and pain. He had gone off to give the girl, her, what she deserved. For a moment, her heart flared warm, but before she could consider this further, she realized that Xander had left and where he had gone. Buffy tore herself away from the screen, out the door, and sprinted with everything she had to get to the Magic Box in time to stop Xander from making a huge mistake.