On her slow walk home, in bed that night, and later the next day, Buffy kept picturing those two minutes that had brought her to a standstill. Flashes in her brain, the images were haunting and teasing. She hadn't intended for Riley to blow the crypt to pieces. She couldn't have fathomed that his first course of action would have been to attack without checking first because Buffy herself would never have done that. She shouldn't have allowed it, but it just wasn't plausible, and now she was paying the price. In her mind, she fixed it, sorted through hundreds of different options and outcomes that didn't end in disaster. But it didn't matter that she had been in a terrible mood, disoriented from having been woken up, terrified that Spike had resorted back to old tricks, or thrown off by Riley's reappearance. It didn't make things better, for Spike and his crypt, his home, or his reputation and the new dynamic they had been building.

In the aftermath, Riley had stormed off, leaving her to find Spike who stood in the entryway of the crypt, shell-shocked, and looking at her as though she had taken everything away from him. With gentle coaxing, she tried convincing him to follow her back to her house, thinking she owed him shelter at the very least. As she crossed the floor to get to him, offer him some sort of comfort, he turned from her and ran. By the time she made it outside intending to follow, he was gone.

Alarmed, she wondered if that would be the last time she would ever see Spike. It was strange how unsettling that idea felt. Determined that it wouldn't be and that she would somehow fix things, she went home.

She should have told Dawn that morning at breakfast, but the girl had been so chipper lately, she didn't want to spoil her mood when she knew there was nothing they could do at that moment. She should have mentioned it to Willow in the late morning, but her friend was still stuck in frenzy mode, going on about a major test she had that day and Buffy didn't think it good to distract her. She could have called Xander or Anya, but she wasn't interested in receiving applause or disinterest. Clem and Tara were her best options, but Buffy didn't know how to find the demon in the daytime and she felt too ashamed to tell Tara.

It was the knowledge that Spike needed sympathy more than she needed comfort that she found herself standing outside Tara's dorm room. Speaking to her, Buffy refused to meet Tara's eyes because she knew there wouldn't be judgment or hatred, but simply basic understanding of human error. Through it all, Tara didn't speak a word until Buffy finished, and she ended up sharing a lot more than she intended, such as possible, but totally insensible growing feelings for Spike that meant more than cold comfort. In the end, Tara told her it was okay to follow her heart towards what and whoever made her happy because Buffy deserved that and nothing less. They also settled on a locator spell that would at least tell them if Spike was alright and where he was. Knowing that she was not someone he wanted to see at the moment, Tara agreed to go.

Two weeks, a loud and headache-inducing fight with Dawn, more sympathy from Tara, surprising sympathy from Willow, and begrudging sympathy from Xander later, and Buffy had yet to see Spike. Dawn, Tara, and Clem continued to watch after him and assured her that he was doing 'fine,' but wouldn't elaborate on anything more. Before, Buffy had missed their contact and connection through passionate sex and forceful fights, but the longing for his presence, on patrol or sitting on her back porch, turned into a constant dull ache. Guilt battled resignation battled numbness battled resentment battled anger. On top of it all, now she was standing in the dark facing a hyped-up Warren and his two minions. Really, she wanted to smack Jonathan upside the head for all she had done for him in the past and this was how he decided to repay her.

It wasn't even like Spike could have helped her in this particular battle, since the three stooges were human, but he could have stood off in the corner for moral support, offering snide comments about their obvious incompetence issues. Instead, she had Xander, who was in his self-righteous stage, but helped enough to distract Jonathan and the other one as she smashed Warren's weird orb thing. The freak managed to float away on some sort of hover thing, but they managed to capture the other two and when it came to odds, that was a win for Buffy.

She was starting to feel better, having handed off the minions to the police, and was even allowing herself to not think so much about Spike and how badly she had screwed him over when she met Dawn, Willow, and Tara- the latter two who were holding hands - and looking suspicious. As she got closer, a subdued Dawn greeted her, and that freaked her out more than almost anything. Looking at Xander, he shrugged, so she turned back to her sister with a sigh.

"What is it?"

"It's Spike."

A jolt of panic shot through her, causing her arm to twitch into a fist. Xander noticed, but she didn't have time to assure him.

"It's not- He's not hurt, so don't worry. It's just that- See- I know you probably won't go for it, but we had to ask-"

"Dawnie, you're rambling and that is never of the good. Just say it."

"Clem's family's come to visit and he doesn't want to throw Spike out, but there's really no room for him and Spike isn't up for a ton of company right now and I was talking to Tara and Willow and we thought he might be welcome to stay here, with us, in the basement if that's okay because Xander fixed it up real nice and-"

"Yes."

Dawn's mouth shut in shock. "What?"

Buffy sighed. "Yes, he can come here. If he wants. Did he say that's what he wants?" She tried not to look hopeful.

"Well- uh," she looked back at Tara and Willow who nodded in encouragement. "Not exactly. He'd just been complaining about all the people and I thought of the idea, but I wanted to check in with you first because I thought-"

"I'd be terrible and say no."

"Well, yeah, I mean, it's Spike and the two of you-"

"I get it, Dawnie, I do. Just let him know that he's welcome here for as long as he wants. By all of us." She pointedly ignored Xander's exasperated huffing.

"Here's the thing, Buffy."

"Why is there always a thing?"

"We, I mean, Tara, Willow, and I, thought it might be best if you asked him."

Buffy looked at Willow with an eyebrow raised. "You all thought this?"

"Uh huh," Willow answered. "Tara and I had a nice long chat and she helped me see some perspective in a lot of ways."

Tara spoke up with a small smile, "We voted and everything."

Her expression softening, Buffy sighed. "Fine. Tell me where to go and I'll invite Spike to stay with us."

"Oh good! I'll call him now."

Buffy watched as Dawn ran into the house, Tara and Willow behind her, and intended to follow when Xander stopped her.

"Do you really think this is a good idea, Buff?"

"I'm full of them, don't you know?"

He didn't smile at her attempted humor. "I'm just saying, I know you feel guilty about his crypt blowing up, but you don't have to do things that make you feel so uncomfortable. I mean, it's Spike. He'll get over it. Hell, he's caused way more destruction and never thought twice about it, so-"

"I destroyed his home, Xan, I can't just let that go. And he's feeling everything now, with the soul, which he got for me and-"

"Yeah, about that. This soul. You're so certain it's real. And even if it is-"

"It is."

"Fine, it's real. And he got it for you. But don't you think that's a little much? That and then letting him move in? Aren't you kind of leading him on? Buffy, he's had this obsession with you for months now and I think we should be trying harder to discourage it."

"It's more complicated than that, Xan."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

His eyes were so wide and curious, that she couldn't stand lying to him, or any of them any longer.

"I don't- Feelings are hard to define. I haven't had feelings for much of anything lately and- Things happened. I was in a bad place and Spike was there, to comfort me-"

"Of course he was, the scumbag. Waiting for the perfect moment to-"

"I went to him, Xander. He- it made me feel better."

"You slept with him."

"Yes."

It wasn't' a question, but she wanted to provide a definite answer. There was nothing more that she could say as she watched his eyes widen further and flash with betrayal. He took off into the night, but Buffy didn't have the energy to chase after him. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Turning back towards the house, Buffy found Tara, Willow, and Dawn staring at her from the doorway. It was hard to read their expressions, but Buffy felt too much relief at no longer keeping the secret. She took a step up onto the porch and Dawn spoke to her.

"I've- I called Spike. He knows we're on our way over."

"Can't this wait 'til morning?"

"Sunlight makes it kinda hard for a vampire to travel. It'd be nice for him to get everything set up so he can just sleep tomorrow. He's been having trouble lately, sleeping, so- And the cot's already set up down there, so he's okay to sleep and-"

"Fine. Lead the way. Right to bed when we get home though. I don't want any trouble."

Dawn skipped ahead, looking excited and Buffy envied her disposition. It had been so long since she had been that carefree that she couldn't even remember a distinct moment. Ahead of her, she watched as Tara broke away from Willow and walked next to Dawn, while Willow held back and waited for Buffy to catch up.

"Intervention Numero Dos?"

"I wish you had told me, Buffy."

"I-"

"But I totally get why you didn't. Why you couldn't. I haven't exactly been the best of best friends lately, what with the overdosage of magic and bringing you back from the dead against your consent."

"Thank you for saying that."

"And I'm kinda glad that you didn't."

"Huh?"

"I don't think I was ready to hear it before, to be supporto-girl. Spike wasn't so high on my list of favorite people, but now- Well, I've been over with Tara a few times to visit with him and he's really not a terrible guy and I sorta feel really bad for him."

Buffy snorted. "Are you giving me your permission?"

"I don't think I have the right to give or deny you permission."

Her eyes were so wide, her words so genuine, and her expression so surprised, Buffy believed her.

"I'll always value your opinion, Will, but, you're right. I don't need permission."

"So are you guys-?"

"It's complicated, God, so complicated and messy and we're both messed up, it's not- It was just sex, for so long, and then it wasn't, but I guess it was always more than that and- And now- I don't know what now, I haven't talked to him in two weeks. I got his home blown up. I'm not used to being the hated one."

"You're offering him a new one now.

"I hope he can see the bright side in all this."

"He will, eventually. He's kinda all mopey guy right now, but he's been lightening up a ton lately."

Buffy allowed herself a small smile. "Good."

"It is good! Everything's getting good again, Buff. And Xander will come around, just wait, no matter what you decide, you know, about Spike."

"And you and Tara-?"

"Of the very good."

The friends walked in silence for the remainder of the trip, but there was a level of comfort that hadn't been present in a long time. Buffy felt tension further break apart. She was nervous about facing Spike after so long, for the first time after what had happened, but she was also determined.

When they reached Clem's house, they found Spike sitting on the front porch smoking a cigarette. By his reaction, it was obvious that Dawn had not mentioned Buffy would be joining them. As the women sat around him, she felt out of place.

"Slayer."

"Spike. Can I- Can I talk to you for a second? Alone?"

"So now she wants to talk."

"Please."

He responded with an undignified grunt, but stood and took off down the street. Following with hurried steps, Buffy forced herself to keep talking.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't."

"Well I am. I shouldn't have-"

"There's way too many things either of us shouldn't have done, Slayer. Skip the nonsense and spit out what it is you're here for."

"Dawn, Tara, and Willow told me that things were getting crowded at Clem's and we have space and a bed in the basement. They- I thought it might be good if you came to stay with us."

Spike stopped walking, causing Buffy to almost walk into him, and changed direction back to the house.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"You don't-"

He stopped again. "You're playing with fire, Slayer."

"I mean it. Will you stay? I know it's not permanent and that you can take care of yourself, but it's the least I can do. And Dawn would never forgive me if we go back and your answer is no. Your stubborn stupidity would be my fault somehow."

Her dig earned her a smirk that sent a pleasant jolt through her stomach. Spike quickly replaced it with a frown.

"The Bit can be convincing with her incessant whining."

"Pssht, you love it." She offered him her most endearing, innocent smile, but he refused to meet her eyes.

"Since you're practically beggin', fine. But only until I sort through everything, and then-"

"Then what?"

"'M skipping town."

"Promises, promises," and though she kept her tone light, inside a flush of panic rose through her. Spike's eyes flashed in surprise, a flicker of a smile on his face, and Buffy thought, Maybe things really are getting back to the good.

Quickly pulling himself together, Spike said, "Don't think that this changes anything, Slayer. I'll leave you to yours and you'll leave me to mine."

But that has never been the case between us, she thought, but she was too tired to argue.