Sansa hated the fact that she now had to take a week to mentally prepare for the weekend and seeing Robb. She had barely recovered from running into him outside the grocery store and now she was about to spend an evening with him and his wife.
Wonderful.
"You ready to go?" Willas asked as he came into the kitchen where Sansa was putting dishes from the dishwasher away. It was no coincidence that she had decided to get around to putting them away minutes before they were due at her mother's rather than in the morning when she'd run the wash through.
"Almost," she said.
"You know if we're late your mother is going to be calling."
"Then help me," Sansa said with a bit of an edge in her voice. She couldn't help it, even if she recognized it and felt bad about it. She had been on edge all week, and then even more starting yesterday when she knew she would be seeing Robb again very soon.
She was torn between wanting to tell him to fuck off and wanting to fuck him. She had even found herself wondering if one kiss would hurt. If it would be a game-changer and she'd find there was nothing at all anymore between them. That it was all in her head and only her memories that were fueling these desires.
"You okay?" Willas asked as he came over and started to help.
"I'm fine," she chirped. "Why?"
"You're not fine, Sansa. You've been on edge all week. What is it?"
"It's nothing. Just, you know, changes. Not used to the changes yet."
"But they're nice ones, aren't they? With Robb being back home and all. I was thinking we should invite them over for dinner some night. Talisa seems really nice and I'd like to get to know your brother better."
"Talisa had an affair on my brother," Sansa said. Willas looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "My mother told me last week."
"Wow," Willas muttered. "The poor guy."
"Mmm."
"Is that why they wanted so badly to move back here? Partly your Mom and partly to get Talisa away from the guy?"
"Yes. I guess they thought they needed a fresh start."
"I would say so. I definitely think it'd be good to invite them over then."
Sansa turned to him after putting a glass away and just stared at him. "Why?"
"Because even though your brother grew up here it's still a change for them, and knowing they have a support system other than your mother might help."
"My Mom is a great support system!"
"Sansa, she's only one person. Your brother would probably benefit from having you to talk to about stuff."
She gaped at him. "About his problems with his wife?"
"Yeah, why not? It's what siblings do." He grinned. "You could bitch to him about all the things I do that annoy you if you wanted."
"I'm just not sure it's the best idea to get involved in their affairs," Sansa murmured.
"He's your brother, Sansa, and he's probably hurting. It would be good of you to reach out to him."
She watched him close the dishwasher up and wipe down the counter in silence. It wasn't as if Willas knew what he was asking. To him she was just being cold. She pursed her lips together knowing she was about to open a can of worms, but somehow unable to stop herself from doing it.
"You think I'm cold and awful don't you?" she asked.
Willas tossed the sponge in the sink. "I think that you have your moments."
"When?" she demanded.
He sighed. "Sansa, do we really have to get into this right now?"
"Yes, we do. I want to know when you think me cold."
"When things get a little too…emotional. Have you any idea how often I feel like I'm the woman in this relationship? Sometimes you just shut down on me and I wonder what I've done."
"Then why do you want to marry me if I'm so awful?" she asked bitterly.
He gaped at her. "Sansa, I never said you were awful first of all, and I want to marry you because I love you. It's not like you shutting down on me has been a deal breaker for me. I just figure it's part of who you are."
It wasn't though. Or at least she hadn't always been. She remembered being happy. She remembered being so in love she ached with it. She remembered sharing everything, every single part of herself.
With Robb.
She missed him. Oh, God, she missed him so much.
She hadn't felt whole since he'd left and now with him being here and being so close…she was in a constant war with herself of wanting to be with him and wanting to keep him away. How could she move on with him here? But then how long was it supposed to fucking take? He'd been gone for six goddamn years and she still hadn't gotten over it.
When she broke down in front of Willas he thought it was because of what he'd said. Sansa didn't bother to correct him. She let him hold her and kiss her and tell her he loved her and if she didn't bother to say it back to him, he didn't mention it.
xxxxxxxxxx
Sansa didn't look right when she and Willas arrived at their mother's and Robb wondered if they'd had a fight. Her eyes were a little red. If he made her cry for any reason I will wreck him, he thought and tried to keep his temper in check.
He watched her go to where Catelyn was sitting on the deck and bend down to give her Mom a hug and a kiss. Catelyn held onto her hand when Sansa straightened and the two chatted a bit while Talisa looked on from beside Catelyn.
"Sansa tells me you might need some help with the grill," Willas said as he came over to where Robb was getting ready to put the steaks on.
Robb glanced over at Sansa who was most definitely not watching them, and shook his head. "Nah, I figured it out," Robb said.
"If you need anything—"
"I'll let you know. Hey, why does Sansa look upset?"
Willas grinned at him. "Is there where you play big brother?"
"Seeing as how I am her big brother I don't think I'd call it playing," Robb said and looked at him sternly.
Willas held up his hands. "We just had a chat about some stuff is all. It's fine."
"I haven't been around," Robb said and lit up the grill. "But I am now." He picked up the plate of steaks and started laying them on the grill. "I just want you to know that if you hurt my sister I'll hurt you."
Willas's smile fell. "So, Sansa never mentioned how terrifying you could be."
"Well, I've never really had any reason to be."
"No high school boyfriends you had to fuck up?"
"There was one. He didn't last long." Only because after I beat the shit out of him Sansa ended up with me.
"You have my word, Robb. I will never do anything to intentionally hurt your sister. I love her. A lot."
Robb nodded. There was the brotherly part of Robb that was pleased to hear this man loved the amazing woman that his sister was, and there was the other part – the former lover part of him – that wanted to rip Willas apart for daring to lay a hand on her.
"So, um, Sansa and I were talking about maybe you and Talisa coming over some night for dinner," Willas said.
Robb stilled. What kind of hell would that be? he wondered. To be in the home Sansa shared with another man together? It was hard enough being here with them. Yet how odd would it be for him to say no?
"That sounds great," he said. "Let me know when."
"I'll have Sansa contact you."
That meant Robb didn't have anything to worry about. Sansa was definitely not going to go out of her way to invite him over.
It wasn't until after dinner that Robb was able to have a moment alone with Sansa to actually find out what had made her so upset. He caught her in the kitchen doing dishes while Willas tended to the grill and Catelyn showed Talisa her various flower gardens. It seemed Catelyn had grown something of a green thumb since her heart attack. She said gardening calmed her.
"Why don't you just throw them in the dishwasher?" Robb asked her as he set some glasses down on the counter.
"It's full, and I kind of just wanted to do them," Sansa mumbled.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently as he leaned his hip against the counter. "You looked upset when you got here. Willas said you had a chat before you got here and it upset you."
She sighed and nodded. "Turns out you're not the only one that sucks at showing affection. Apparently I 'shut down'."
Robb just stared at her, his mind reeling. He wanted to ask if she loved Willas. If she felt for him what he felt for Talisa than there was no use for it. It would never work. They were doomed.
She shut the water off and turned to him, looking almost angry.
Later, Robb couldn't say who made the first move. He thought maybe he did, but then he also thought she might have. All he knew was that one second she wasn't in his arms and in the next second she was.
The second their lips touched, Robb felt like sobbing from the relief of it. He groaned and held her tighter to the point that his arms ached. He wondered idly if their lips would be bruised from the force of their kiss.
He wanted more of this, more of her. He felt like he couldn't get close enough. He wanted to buried inside her and not just with his dick, with his whole body. He was about to put her on the table when the sound of the porch door opening had them springing apart.
Robb stormed off into the bathroom to get his erection down and to calm himself. It was like no time had passed from when they were sneaking around and had to act quickly so that no one would see.
He went to the sink after shutting the door and splashed cold water on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror after drying his face and tried to remember that this couldn't happen. They'd split apart because they'd understood the impossibility of it. Starting up again would be wrong – not just because they were siblings but because he was fucking married and she was engaged.
But when he thought of how fucking good it felt to kiss her again, to hold her in his arms…
How was he going to let that go again?