So of course this whole mess meant that Sansa had to finally pick a wedding date. Why not make things harder than they already were? That's what she kept thinking when she and Willas sat down at the kitchen table and set up a Wedding Calendar on the computer.
"Can we do it in six months?" he asked her.
She looked at him incredulously. "No! We have to get a JP, a place to get married, a place to have the reception—"
"What if we make it really simple and get married in your Mom's backyard? You've mentioned doing that more than once when we were dating."
She had mentioned that, yes. That would make a few things easier, but when she'd brought up the idea of setting a date she had thought at least a year or eighteen months out to give her time to plan, to really think about what she wanted, to…
To fuck Robb.
Christ.
What was she even doing? She was supposed to be putting obstacles in the way, and sending the message to Robb that they needed to figure their shit out with their significant others. Their ship had sunk. It was done. Over.
But, like a coward, she was instead still stalling in planning a wedding. She was so accustomed to not committing that even when she tried to she fucked it up.
"Six months in my parents' backyard it is then," she declared. "So that puts us in…November. Hmmm, maybe not then. Might be too cold."
"Let's see if we can do it in five then and make it October," Willas said. "Hey, what about a Halloween—"
"If you're going to say a Halloween themed wedding, I'm gonna just stop you right there."
He pouted adorably, and if Sansa wasn't internally freaking the fuck out, she might have kissed him.
"It might still be cold," she said. "You know how the weather is in New England in the fall. You never know if you'll get a warm October or a blizzard."
"So we have the ceremony at the house and invite a select few, but take the reception somewhere else."
"How about we set a tentative date for mid-October, and then change it if it we can't get a place for the reception?"
Willas smiled broadly. "Perfect. And of course we can ask Margaery if she'll do the cake."
Fuck. She'd forgotten about the fact that his sister was a baker and had already offered once to do their cake for them. So, of course she'd say yes.
"I'm hot. Are you hot?" Sansa asked rhetorically as she got up from the table and went to get herself a glass of water.
Willas didn't answer, but he was watching her. When she finished guzzling down a glass of water he just looked at her and said, "You're freaking out, aren't you?"
"I'm fine," she said, but it came out a bit shrill.
"What is it? Sansa, you do want to get married to me someday don't you? If you don't then tell me now—"
"I do! I do! See? See how easy I just said those words?"
He shot her a lopsided smile. "I just want you to be honest with me. Do you love me?"
"Yes, of course I do." Just not the way I love Robb. "I wouldn't have accepted your proposal if I didn't want to marry you." If it was possible to marry Robb I would have. "I'm just thinking about all the planning we have to do." And I want Robb. I want my brother.
"Is that really it?"
She nodded adamantly while thinking No no no!
He rapped his knuckles on the table and then stood. "We can do this. We're a power team, you and I. What about The Mile Away for the reception? You love that place and the barn they have. We could have it in there."
"If they have the barn available that day."
"We'll find out tomorrow then, won't we? Then, maybe, they could cater."
The walls were closing in on her. "Great! Thank you for taking initiative." Because I feel crippled by fear right now.
Willas grinned and swept her in his arms, kissing her with enthusiasm. He wanted sex. Sansa knew Willas's angling-for-sex kisses well. He always used a bit more tongue than usual when he wanted it. Robb had always kissed her a little deeper sometimes nibbling on her bottom lip, and then, of course, was the gleam he'd get in his eye.
Stop thinking about Robb already! she scolded herself. She pushed away from Willas. "Not right now, honey. I have some things to do first."
He studied her closely. "You're sure you're okay with this?"
She nodded. "I am I promise. It's just a few last minute things I need to order for a client."
He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "All right, all right. I'm just being paranoid. Now that we've finally set a date…"
"We sure did!" Try not to sound hysterical or he'll know something is wrong, she told herself.
He looked at her a little funny, but didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed her, told her he was going to take a shower, and left the room.
Sansa sank back into her chair and stared at the date. October 15th. She was getting married on October 15th, and not to the man she'd wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
Flashback
Sansa straddled Robb on his bed during one of those rare instances when the family was out and it was just the two of them. He smiled up at her as his hands settled on her hips. She bent her head and kissed him softly, and she felt one hand fist at the back of her shirt.
"I want us to be together forever," she declared. She was aware this was the romantic dreams of a sixteen-year-old girl, but she didn't care.
"I want that too," he murmured as he slid his hands up her shirt.
"I want us to live together in a place of our own so we never have to sneak around and hide what we feel," she continued, a bit breathlessly.
"Where we can make love wherever and whenever we want," he said and drew her head down so he could kiss her.
"I want to wake up in your arms."
He smiled. "I want to fall asleep in yours."
"I want to watch a movie with my head on your shoulder," she said rested against him, tucking her head under his chin.
"I want hello and goodbye kisses," he said.
Sansa lifted her head and kissed him. "I want you."
Robb moved them so that she was pressed into the bed and he was above her. "I want you too," he said as he undid the snap of her jeans.
End Flashback
Robb was sitting on the couch on his laptop, trying to distract himself with grading homework assignments to keep himself from either going to see Sansa or at the very least sending her a text.
When he heard the front door open and shut, he tensed. He was doing that a lot lately when Talisa came home. Every moment together was filled with anxiety over whether or not she would want to try sex again.
She'd been upset when she'd discovered him on the couch in the morning after she had wanted it, and then didn't feel up to it after having Thai food. He'd explained to her that he was just having trouble sleeping, his mind going over his lecture for the next day, and that he had just fallen asleep on the couch while going over it again.
She'd bought it, but ever since then he wondered when he would be expected to perform again. He didn't know if he could do it. Wasn't sure that his "little buddy" would be up to the task. His dick wanted sex, but it wanted sex with Sansa, not Talisa.
He tried to act normal when Talisa sat down next to him on the couch and kissed his cheek. "Hey," she said softly.
He looked at her, remembering to smile warmly. "Hey. How was your day?"
She sighed. "It was fine. I missed you."
Smile again, Robb. Lie again, Robb. "I missed you too."
"I was thinking I could make us dinner and we could sit outside." She moved so that she was cuddling into his side. He put his arm around her as a good husband would do. "We could have dinner by candlelight, have some wine, maybe go upstairs after…"
Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
"That sounds good," he said a bit stiffly.
Now it was Talisa who tensed. She sat up and looked at him, and Robb braced himself for her ire.
"Do you not want to have sex?" she asked, sounding more angry than hurt.
He didn't. It would feel like cheating on Sansa, but he couldn't exactly tell her that now could he? He was supposed to be trying here. Trying to be a good husband. Trying to be a husband period. But he felt as though he was suffocating.
He'd brought this on himself though, hadn't he? What had he been thinking moving back home? Had he honestly thought this would work? Not only were and Talisa in the middle of trying to fix their broken marriage, but he was still in love with his sister. Sansa was right. Moving back was a mistake. Yet how could he not be here to help with his mother? She was the only parent they had left and he had missed so much being away when his father had passed on.
Why did doing what he thought was right come with so much fucking price tags?
"I do, I'm sorry. I'm just distracted with all this assignments I'm grading," he said, trying to sound as genuine and as heartfelt as possible. Only one way to really sell this, old sport, he told himself and kissed her. Deeply. Passionately. The way he would kiss Sansa.
He shut his eyes tight and carded his fingers through her hair, imagining they were Sansa's red locks, even if the texture of their hair was different. Talisa's hair was a bit dry and brittle. Sansa's was cool and soft to the touch.
He'd convinced her, perhaps a little too well. Instead of waiting for sex for later, they did it right there on the couch.
Robb kept his eyes shut almost the entire time, letting Talisa think he was in the throes of passion, when what he was really doing was imagining it was Sansa who bounced up and down on his dick. And when he came, he moaned loudly, keeping himself from uttering Sansa's name.
Afterwards, a very happy Talisa went off to shower and get dinner ready while Robb cleaned off his dick with a few tissues and tucked himself back in his jeans. He sat there, feeling dirty and alone.