Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who
Sleepover
Clara was really not happy. She'd gotten up to go to the bathroom, been almost scared out of her wits by a snarling holographic leopard, and then she'd stepped out of her en-suite to find that her bedroom…had completely vanished. She'd looked around the corridors for a bit, but all she found was Charlotte and Laura's bedrooms, and she didn't want to disturb them. She heaved a sigh and headed for the console room. If the Doctor was there, he'd help her, and if he wasn't…she'd have to deal with the TARDIS.
She walked into the console room, in her slippers, pyjamas and a cardigan, and saw no sign of the Doctor. He was hard to miss, so she knew he wasn't in there straightaway. "Where is it?" she asked the TARDIS in a long-suffering tone. The time machine simply beeped at her. "I know what just happened. I went to the bathroom…thank you for the hologram leopard, by the way, an unexpected pleasure…and my bedroom was completely missing!" she exclaimed, before sighing and saying exasperatedly, "Just tell me where you put it".
The only response was another series of beeps, and Clara could only guess at what they meant. "Hang on, I know what the problem is" she said, walking over and sitting in a chair, "Is this the first time he's brought any girls home?" she guessed. More beeping; perhaps it was Clara's imagination, but it sounded almost as if… "Are you laughing?" she asked, getting to her feet. "You are, aren't you? What's so funny?"
The monitor flicked on, and pictures of – according to the caption – previous companions appeared. Most of them were, well, young attractive women. "Blimey…that's um…that's quite a selection. Dear god, that woman is made of legs!" said Clara, upon seeing a picture of a tall, skirt wearing ginger, "That's the most legs on any living human! Ok, not the first then" she acknowledged. She supposed it was silly to think that a man who was over a thousand years old wouldn't have had other friends throughout the years.
The TARDIS beeped smugly at her. "This is the Doctor we're talking about" she said, "He's in a co-dependent relationship with a screwdriver. I mean, if he had to choose between an enormous, complicated machine he could fix with a toolkit and a girl…who would he go with?" she asked rhetorically. The TARDIS beeped once more, and Clara sighed, "Yeah…you're right. Both of them, using the same toolkit. So what do we do?" she asked. They had to work something out, because the Doctor would never choose between them…or would he?
She received no answer from the TARDIS, and sighed. "I give in. I'm gonna go find my dumb bedroom! Do your worst! I can't wait to see your next trick!" she challenged the cantankerous machine, before spinning on her heel and heading off…only to pull up short, seeing another version of her leaning against the wall of the corridor. "Who the hell are you?"
"You, from tomorrow night" the second Clara explained, in a resigned tone. She walked past the first Clara and up to the console, demanding "Ok…where have you put it? Where's my bedroom?"
A third Clara entered the console room from a different corridor, looking stressed. "This isn't funny! I'm exhausted! Where is it?!" she groaned in frustration.
"You think you've got problems?" asked a fourth Clara, leaning over the railing, next to a fifth Clara. "We've got to share a bed" they said in unison.
Clara watched, stunned, as the console room filled up with numerous copies of her, all at the end of their rope and demanding to know where the bedroom was. How many sleepless nights would she have to endure? "Oh god" she murmured…that was it, she needed help. Turning on her heel, she ran down the corridor and back to where her bedroom should have been. It wasn't there, unfortunately, but Laura and Charlotte's bedrooms were. Why didn't the TARDIS hate them?
The light was on in Charlotte's bedroom. Clara hesitated, and then knocked on the door. "Come in" she heard Charlotte call, and opened the door. Charlotte and Laura were in their pyjamas, sitting on Charlotte's bed, and Laura was dabbing at her eyes with a crumpled tissue. "Oh, sorry…is this a bad time?" asked Clara.
Laura looked up and shook her head. "N-no, I just had a bad dream. Are you okay, Clara?" she inquired.
"The TARDIS stole my bedroom" said Clara, "And apparently, she's going to do it again, and again, again…the console room is filled with, well, copies of me, all wanting to know where my – our? – bedroom is, and I don't know what to do".
"You can sleep with me if you want" Laura offered. Clara smiled, but politely declined. "No, it's okay. Thanks for the offer, but I'd really like to sleep in my own bed, no offense".
Charlotte frowned slightly. "Okay, this is getting ridiculous" she said decisively, getting to her feet, "Come on". She strode past Clara, out of her bedroom and down the corridor into the console room, marching right up to the central console. "Hey!" she snapped up at the Time Rotor, "Send all these Clara's back to their proper places in the time-stream, give them all their bedrooms back, including the first Clara, and stop picking on her!"
The TARDIS beeped a few times, but Charlotte wasn't having any of it. "Oh, don't act so innocent, you started this whole mess. Yes, you did!" she insisted, when the TARDIS beeped louder in protest. "You can see all of time and space at once. You already knew that you'd go to that pocket universe to rescue the Doctor, you just kept your doors shut to spite Clara. Besides, even if I gave you the benefit of the doubt and said it wasn't your fault, you're still in the wrong!"
The TARDIS made an ominous creaking sound. "You can't scare me" Charlotte said defiantly, "Everything you try to do is just proving my point for me, so thank you for that. You know why you're in the wrong? Because whatever Clara's done that has you so riled, you are massively over-reacting. You know who gets this defensive and petty over a bit of name-calling? Immature children who haven't learned to take criticism. You're a sentient time machine that's over thousands of years old, and you play selfish pranks and throw tantrums like a toddler. Grow up".
Considering everything the TARDIS could do to (and had done, in Clara's case) to get revenge – change the temperature in the shower from hot to freezing cold, twist corridors around so rooms couldn't be found, steal clothes and drinks and lunches when backs were turned – Charlotte was incredibly brave to stand up to the irate time machine.
Much to their surprise, Charlotte's forceful words actually seemed to get through to the TARDIS…she beeped again, a lower tone this time, and the multitude of Clara's around the console room disappeared. "Where did they go?" asked the original Clara, looking around.
"Back to their bedrooms, I hope" Charlotte replied. She eyed the Time Rotor, and said to it, "Play along just this once – one beep for yes, two beeps for no. Did you send all the Clara's back to their bedrooms?"
After a pause, that felt longer than it really was, the TARDIS beeped once.
"And are you going to give this version of Clara her bedroom back?"
Another single beep; Clara sagged in relief. "Oh, thank you…and listen, um, I'm sorry about calling you a name that other day. You're not a cow, you're a good ship" she said, hesitantly patting the edge of the console. The TARDIS let a series of beeps, and the room brightened a bit. Satisfied, the three of them returned to their bedrooms.
Clara walked up to the door marked with a carving of a leaf, and pushed it open. Sure enough, her bedroom was back, just as she'd left it. "Oh, thank goodness" she sighed in relief, walking over and flopping down on the bed. She abruptly sat up again, realising, "I'm not tired".
Laura and Charlotte, who were standing in the doorway, glanced at one another. "I'm not that tired either" Laura admitted…well, she was, but she didn't fancy going to sleep just yet.
"And now I've woken up again..." Charlotte sighed and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Okay, we can either go back to our rooms and try to sleep, or…we could have a sleepover" she suggested. Clara quirked an eyebrow and asked, "A sleepover?"
"Yeah, y'know, have pillow fights, paint each other's nails, talk about boys, that kind of thing" Charlotte shrugged, "It'll be fun!"
Laura beamed and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, good idea!" she agreed, "I've got some nail polish in my room, let me go get it". She stepped back into the corridor…her bedroom was still there, much to her relief. She pulled a pink box full of nail polish from under her bed, and carried it back to Clara's room. The three friends sat or stretched out on Clara's bed, and searched through the colours, picking out their favourites.
Clara chose a deep red colour that reminded her of her mother's leaf; Laura picked out a glittery pink polish; and Charlotte selected a violet shade. "Okay, so I'll paint your nails, Laura, and you paint Clara's, and Clara can paint mine, alright?" she suggested, unscrewing the bottle of bubble-gum pink nail polish. They rested their hands on flat boards – that appeared to come out of nowhere, a peace offering from the TARDIS perhaps.
"Hmm…hey, Laura, out of all the monsters we've faced, which do you think is the scariest?" Charlotte inquired, as she carefully applied the nail polish. Laura replied, "Not sure…probably that ugly skeleton thing from Caliburn House". She shuddered and remarked "I'm glad the Doctor went to drop those aliens off on a different planet before he came back to pick us up". Alec and Emma had given them, as well as Hila, a tour of the mansion whilst they waited for the Doctor. The house seemed a lot more welcoming in the daylight.
"I actually looked that species up in the library afterwards" Charlotte remembered, "What were they called again? Erm…err…hang on…I can't remember how to pronounce it, or what language it was in, but the name means 'melted face', apparently, so it's fitting".
"I think the scariest one was that Ice Warrior, Skaldak" said Clara, "He was going to destroy the whole Earth just for revenge".
"Yeah, that happens a lot, unfortunately" Charlotte sighed, "Aliens try to destroy the Earth for all sorts of reasons – profit, recolonization, executing an escaped criminal…"
Clara raised an eyebrow at that last one; it seemed rather far-fetched. Then again, she was talking to two women from a different universe, in a sentient time machine disguised as a police telephone box. Maybe she needed to redefine her parameters. "You guys have seen more aliens than me, though, haven't you? Any I should be looking out for?" she inquired, half-jokingly.
"Definitely the Daleks" Laura replied immediately, "They're awful, Clara. All they want is to exterminate anything and everything that isn't a Dalek, and they don't understand mercy at all".
"No, I think they do, cos they'll ask for it if they're desperate" Charlotte interjected, "But they were genetically engineered to not feel mercy towards other species. When the Daleks are around, about the only things you can do are run, hide and pray that the Doctor can stop them".
"What do they look like?" asked Clara.
"Like giant metal pepper-pots studded with orbs, a gunstick, a plunger and an eyestalk with a blue light in it. Oh, and their voices are modulated, so they sound kind of like this" said Charlotte, pinching her nose, "The Daleks are supreme! Exterminate! Exterminate!"
Laura and Clara couldn't help but giggle. "They don't really sound much like that" Laura admitted, "But they're pretty unmistakable. I just hope we don't run into any" she added worriedly.
"Aaand you jinxed it" Charlotte deadpanned.
"Oops".
"Just kidding…hopefully…okay, there are your nails done. Shall I do yours now, Clara, or do you want to do mine?"
"I'll do yours" Clara offered, picking up the bottle of violet polish, "So which alien are you most scared of?" she asked curiously.
"Hmm…well, the Daleks are dangerous, no argument there, but I think the scariest monsters are the ones you can't really defend yourself against, like the Weeping Angels, or the Vashta Nerada".
"The what, or the what?"
"Oh, Weeping Angels are like…well, they're angels, but with fangs, and they're made of stone. Only when you're looking at them, though" Laura explained, "As soon as you blink, they move. It's called a quantum lock".
"They can't move very far, then" Clara guessed, picturing an angel inching forwards each time its victim blinked. Charlotte shook her head and explained, "No, you don't understand. Weeping Angels are fast. Faster than you can blink, and they can mess with the lights. They feed on potential energy, you see, all the days you would have lived, if they hadn't caught you and sent you back in time. Their usual MO is to let their victims live to death".
"Usual MO?"
"Well, sometimes they break your neck" Laura began. Charlotte gave her a pointed look and interrupted, "I wasn't gonna mention that part".
"Oh, sorry" Laura said contritely.
Clara grimaced slightly. "I'll never look at an angel statue the same way again" she muttered.
"Not just angel statues – not just statues in fact. Apparently they can also possess other statues, and images. 'An image of an Angel, becomes itself an Angel'" Charlotte recited, "Mind you, if you do get caught by a Weeping Angel, you're at least alive. The Vashta Nerada are even worse; they're these swarms, like shadows, and they strip you to the bone in seconds. Even the Doctor doesn't know a way to fight them, and they hatch out of trees, so they could be on any planet that has trees".
"Yeah, but not Earth, right?" Clara asked worriedly. Charlotte grimaced and replied, "Well, y'know, sometimes folks go missing in the woods…"
"Oh, my stars…"
"Err, Clara? The nail polish is dripping" Charlotte prompted, drawing Clara's attention to the fact that drops of polish were landing on the board and Charlotte's finger. "Oh, sorry, here" she said, handing Charlotte a tissue to wipe the polish away. She hesitated, and then said, "When…when my mum died, the police told us there'd been a shooting at the mall she was shopping at…but I heard stories, about the shop window dummies coming to life…my mum was killed by aliens, wasn't she?"
Charlotte swallowed and answered, "Yeah…they're called Autons".
Laura leaned forward and gave Clara a hug, taking care not to wipe her slightly damp nails on her friend. "We're really sorry about your mum, Clara".
Clara smiled, rubbing the finger she normally wore her mother's wedding ring on. "Thank you...I'm actually kind of glad I know the truth now. It won't bring her back, but…" she trailed off.
"It's nice to know regardless" Charlotte murmured understandingly, "We get you" she smiled. Clara returned the smile, and finished off painting Charlotte's nails. Laura was just getting started on her nails, when there was a knock on the door. Puzzled, Laura called, "Come in?"
The Doctor put his head around the door. "Hi – sorry, I saw the light on and I thought you'd be asleep by now. Are you alright?"
"We're alright" Laura smiled reassuringly, "We're just painting our nails; what do you think?" she asked, showing off her sparkly pink polish.
"Very nice…" the Doctor complimented, in that uncertain way most men used when they were asked a question involving cosmetics. Charlotte suddenly got an idea to cheer them all up, and asked, "Hey, Doctor, can I ask you something?"
"You just did" he pointed out, teasingly, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind him.
"Very funny; but anyway, you've been to the Tomb of Rassilon, right?"
"Yeah, four times over, in fact…but you knew that already" he said knowingly.
Clara frowned, puzzled. "Erm, sorry, tiny bit lost here. Who's Rassilon?"
The Doctor explained, "Rassilon founded the whole of Time Lord society and gave us the ability to travel safely in time, along with Omega and The Other".
"The other what?" Clara asked blankly.
"No, just, 'The Other'" the Doctor corrected her; she gave him a sceptical look and asked, "Who calls themselves 'the Other'?"
"Well, maybe that's not what he called himself" Charlotte suggested with a grin, "Maybe he was so obscure, the Time Lords just said, 'The founders of our society are Rassilon, Omega, and err, the other one".
She, Laura and Clara snickered, and then Charlotte added, "But like I was saying, in the Tomb of Rassilon, there was the Ring of Rassilon, and there's also a Harp, Coronet, Sash, Rod, and Key of Rassilon…so, where did the Time Lords keep everything else he owned? Was there a Museum of Rassilon? Or a restored House of Rassilon? I mean, he must have lived somewhere. Where else would he keep his Laboratory of Rassilon, or his Kitchen of Rassilon, which contained the fabled Microwave of Rassilon…" at this point Charlotte dissolved into giggles, along with Laura and Clara.
The Doctor rolled his eyes at them, struggling to keep a straight face. "Oi! First off, the third founder really was known as 'the Other', and no, I don't know why he called himself that. Secondly, Rassilon didn't name everything he owned after himself. There's no such thing as the Microwave of Rassilon, or the Fridge of Rassilon, or the…the Spoon of Rassilon…" he gave up the fight and started laughing right alongside them.
Finally, they got their breath back, and Clara asked, "So, what about the other two, Omega and err, the Other; what happened to them?"
"Well, Omega was assumed dead for centuries but it turned out he'd become trapped in an anti-matter universe and gone absolutely insane, and nobody knows what happened to the Other" the Doctor explained, "Some stories say he threw himself into the Looms to be reconstituted, others that Rassilon murdered him…or her…not sure which gender they were, to be honest. Probably male, but there are few surviving records of the Other. He's a mystery even to us Time Lords".
"Are you the Other?" Charlotte inquired curiously.
"No, I'm the Doctor".
"Ha, ha; seriously though, are you the reincarnation of the Other?"
His companions looked at him curiously, expectantly…the Doctor smiled a bit and replied, "…I'm the Doctor".
They groaned. "Really?" Laura grumbled exasperatedly.
"Really. I know you're curious about me, but…there are some secrets I can never share. Not with anyone" he explained. The look in his eyes was more than enough for them to not press the issue. "Why are you awake at this time anyway?" he inquired, sitting on the edge of the bed besides Clara.
"Err, well, I had a bad dream and I was telling Charlotte about it, and then Clara came and asked us to help her with, um…" Laura hesitated, not sure if she should bring it up.
Clara stepped in and explained, "The TARDIS was playing a prank on me in the console room, so I asked these two for help and…Charlotte talked to the TARDIS and sorted it out".
"Made myself a target, more like" Charlotte muttered under her breath; but not quietly enough to escape the Doctor's hearing. "A target for what? What did you say to the old girl, exactly?"
"Err…I sort of told her she was acting like a toddler, and to grow up" she admitted awkwardly, not quite meeting the Doctor's gaze. He stared at her for a moment, disbelieving.
"Oh, Charlotte...Why didn't you come and find me?"
"I thought she'd just twist the corridors around so we never found you" Charlotte explained, "And besides, I had to act! I was filled with righteous indignation. No-one messes with my friends, not even sentient time machines" she declared defiantly, before sighing, "I'm doomed, aren't I?"
"I'll talk to the old girl" the Doctor reassured her, "Make sure she doesn't bother you…but tell me if she does, okay?"
"I was planning to anyway, so don't worry".
"Why doesn't she like me?" Clara asked plaintively, "Because I swear, she had it in for me even before I called her names. Is it because I called her a snog box? Cos that was just a joke!"
The Doctor wasn't sure what to say; he had no idea why his time machine would take such a large disliking to Clara. "Err…I don't think that's it. Look, I told you, she's just slow to trust…"
Clara huffed and insisted, "Oh come on, Doctor. There's slow to trust, and then there's just being malicious. Do either of you know why she has it in for me?" she asked Laura and Charlotte, who both shrugged.
Laura finished applying the coat of nail varnish to Clara's nails, and inquired, "Um, Doctor, I was wondering…what's it like to meet historical figures? I mean, is it more exciting than meeting regular people?"
"Regular people?" he repeated with a smile, "There's no such thing. I have met every famous historical figure you can think of, and do you know which ones were the most exciting to meet? The ones who weren't famous at the time, who were still brimming with all that potential; when I meet someone new, I never know for sure if they're going to be famous one day, but I know they couldbe. That's the exciting part" he explained, smiling at them.
Charlotte blew on her nails, and asked, "How come you like humans so much? Not that I'm complaining, of course, but…I mean, there must be thousands of Earth like planets and humanoid species in the universe. What makes us so special?"
"Well, I didn't always think much of humans" the Doctor admitted, "When I first left Gallifrey, I looked for a planet to lay low on, so I could familiarise myself with the TARDIS. Susan suggested Earth, so we landed there in the 1960's…which is when she took the form of the police box. Honestly, at first I thought you were like children".
"Well, that doesn't sound patronising at all" Clara said sarcastically, "So, what made you change your mind?"
"Nothing" he smiled, "You are children; compared to other species, compared to mine, you're children…and one day I finally realised how brilliant that was; it makes you curious, you're always asking unanswerable questions, always exploring where you shouldn't be, getting into trouble and just being so…human. You started out as mindless little primates on one lonely rock, but you grew and you persevered and you aimed for the stars. No other species has done what yours accomplishes, in all the history of the universe. How could I not be impressed by that?"
His companions smiled at him, moved by his words. Charlotte got up off the bed and walked around; the Doctor stood up and pulled her into a hug. Soon Laura joined in, then Clara, minding her newly painted nails. The four of them stayed like that for a minute or two, sharing a warm group hug, and then Laura yawned. "Mm, sorry…" she murmured drowsily.
"S'alright…" Charlotte yawned as well…she hadn't realised how tired she was. "Maybe we should go to bed".
"Good idea. Come on, you two, let Clara go to sleep" the Doctor suggested, gently disengaging himself from the embrace. Laura and Charlotte bid goodnight to Clara, and stumbled back to their rooms. The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver, and advised Clara, "Hold out your hands, palms down".
Puzzled, she did so, and he flashed the sonic over her fingernails, drying them in an instant. "Good night, Clara" he smiled, kissing her on the forehead…and subtly planting a subconscious message, Sleep, so she wouldn't have trouble dozing off. Her eyelids were already drooping when he stepped back, and she could only murmur a slurred, "G'night", as she crawled under the covers, before she was out like a light.
He smiled, and went to say goodnight to his other two companions…hopefully Charlotte wouldn't mind him dipping into her subconscious for just a second; it wasn't like he'd see anything…and walked off down the corridor. He'd have a word with the TARDIS and then…maybe he'd have a quick snooze himself. It had been a while since he last slept, after all.