I really hope you like this because I had actually been in the middle of writing this chap when my laptop broke and I lost all my writing. So that means you're actually reading the second version of this! Enjoy!
PS- There are a lot of random phrases in here, such as:
"IT SOUNDS LIKE TINKER BELL IS STUCK IN MY BRAIN."
"And now Chip McLovin with the weather."
"Uhh, my hand is smooshed in the peanut butter..."
"My paws aren't blonde."
Be warned, my sweet whores.
"That's... not a bad idea," Kelly praises. Kendall smiles.
"Yeah, I know," he responds smugly. Logan rolls his eyes.
"Cocky son of a bitch," the smart boy mutters under his breath.
"I heard that," Kendall tells him.
"Good, you were meant to," Logan says. Kendall crosses his eyes at him, earning a Gibbs slap from Taylor.
"Pay attention," she hisses. Kendall shoves her, and in return Georgia shoves him. Within seconds, all of the teens are shoving each other. Kelly rolls her eyes before taking out the airhorn she uses for situations not unlike this.
LOUD AIRHORN NOISESSSSGKSUFGSSSS (I don't know how to describe the noise an airhorn makes).
"Gah! What the hell?" Taylor yells in surprise.
"Guys, I need you to-"
"WHAT?" James shouts, cutting Kelly off.
"I said that I-"
"WHAT DID SHE SAY?"
"James, I-"
"EVERYTHING SOUNDS LIKE AIRHORN."
"You might wanna give him a minute to regain his hearing," Logan says.
"MY EARS ARE RINGING."
"That means his hearing is coming back, right? The ringing?" Carlos asks. Logan nods.
"IT SOUNDS LIKE TINKER BELL IS STUCK IN MY BRAIN."
"Stop yelling!" Kendall hisses, whacking James.
"WHAT? Hey, why are we yelling?" James asks, looking very confused. Kendall sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Guys," Kelly says, snapping her fingers to get their attention. "We need to talk about Kendall's idea. Why don't we all meet up at Gustavo's mansion later so Griffin doesn't catch you guys here?"
"Uhh, yeah... about that..." Kendall begins awkwardly. "In this plan, Gustavo would have to sihssmsingss."
"Huh?"
"He said 'Gustavo would have to sell his mansion'," Georgia tells her. Gustavo, who just happens to be walking in at that moment, immediately freezes.
"Oh shit..." the teens mutter simultaneously.
"And in other news, there's been a small earthquake reported. Sources say the quake took place in downtown LA. Seismologists are reportedly baffled, being that the earthquake was not on any previously known fault line. And now Chip McLovin with the stock report."
"Is everyone okay?" Logan asks from his spot in the doorway. His arms are wrapped around Kendall, hands covering his head and protecting him from any falling objects.
"I think we're all good," James responds.
"What was that?" Taylor asks, confused. She is cuddled up against Carlos, partly from fear and partly from Carlos snatching her. Not that Taylor minds...
"Whenever Gustavo gets angry, his blood pressure goes up and it may or may not cause small earthquakes," Carlos explains.
"That was scary," Georgia murmurs.
"Welcome to Hollywood," Kelly replies.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO SELL MY MANSION?" Gustavo roars.
"Oh no! It lives!" Kendall cries dramatically, clutching Logan's torso.
"SHUT UP, DOG."
"Rude..."
"Guys!" Kelly yells, getting everyone's attention again. "We need to focus on the plan/idea/whatever it is Kendall came up with! Now, why does Gustavo need to sell his mansion?"
"Well," Kendall begins, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "the mansion actually isn't the only thing that would need selling. He'd also have to sell all the recording equipment and furniture here in Rocque Records..." he mumbles before hiding behind Logan. Logan quickly pushes the blond in front of him, making the latter sigh in defeat.
"EVERYTHING?!"
"Pretty much," Kendall says hesitantly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
"...Fine," Gustavo says, rubbing a hand down his face. Kendall blinks, surprised.
"Did he just say 'Fine'?" Taylor asks.
"Yup," the boys and Georgia chorus.
"That was actually unexpected," Taylor says, placing her hands on her hips.
"It was," Carlos agrees.
"So... what do we do now?" James asks.
"Uhh, I guess it's time to put this plan into action." Kendall says, a smirk pulling at the edges of his lips.
And thus, Operation: The List was put into action.
"Carlos, would you please hurry up with those sandwiches? I'm starving over here!" James snaps from his place on the floor. Katie is seated beside him, scissors-in-hand, helping him with band posters.
"Would you be patient? I'm almost done!" Carlos says from the, er, well, where the small kitchen had once stood in Rocque Records.
"Hey, look!" Logan calls. Everyone (sans Carlos) gathers around the brunet. "I found a place where we could perform. The band that was supposed to play next Thursday, Radio Remedy, cancelled. Of course, Gustavo would need to book it..." Logan says, looking at the heavyset producer hopefully.
"But how would we advertise a concert in such short notice?" Kelly asks.
"Well, the internet is a great place to start," Katie says. Taylor nods in agreement.
"Yeah!" the happy blonde exclaims. "We could post on Facebook and Twitter. Signal boost the shit out of it, ya know? Then tons of people will be lining up to see the guys in concert!" she said.
"And some live TV air time wouldn't hurt," Mrs. Knight adds from her place on her cot. (Oh yeah, did I forget to mention they're sleeping at Rocque Records now?) Suddenly there is a loud thud in the "kitchen".
"Uh-oh," they hear Carlos say. Kendall quickly jogs over, only to burst out laughing seconds later.
"What did you do?" he manages to get out between fits of giggles.
"I, uh, well, I'm not good at sandwich-making..." Carlos admits.
"Obviously," Kendall says. "Taylor, come take a look at your boyfriend!" he calls. He can hear Taylor's footsteps making their way to him until she's standing in front of Carlos.
"Carlos, what happened?" she sighs, taking in his current state.
"Uhh, my hand is smooshed in the peanut butter..." he tells her.
"Well please get it unsmooshed," she says softly. "Logan thinks he knows how to get Big Time Rush a gig."
"Really?" Carlos asks excitedly. Taylor nods with a smile and Carlos jumps up- not caring that his hand is still stuck- and runs over to Logan.
"Is it true?" the energetic Latino asks. "Did you really figure out a way to book a gig for us?"
"Yes, but there's a problem," Logan says.
"Problem?" James asks nervously.
"We only know one song," the smart boy reminds his friends. "We can't expect to play a concert with only one song."
"Leave that to me," Taylor says.
Gustavo raises a chubby eyebrow accusingly. "You? Why should we put the fate of MY BAND in your blonde little paws?"
"Okay, first off, my paws aren't blonde- my hair is. Second, I know a guy online who is a guitarist/songwriter and he lives here in LA. I'm sure he'd love to help," Taylor chirps in reply.
"What's Dude's name?" Carlos asks cautiously.
"Relax, You adorable little green monster," she says. "I would never think to form a crush on someone I've only met online. Plus, I have you and that's all I'll ever need," she assures sweetly.
"Aww!" James coos, wiping a fake tear from his eye. "That is so sweet!" Taylor rolls her eyes.
"Anyways," she continues, "his name is Dustin and from what I've heard he's pretty good at what he does," she says.
"Well then," Kendall says, putting his hands on the girl's shoulders and shaking her excitedly, "What are you waiting for? Message the man, Ted!"
"I will once you stop manhandling me."
"Oh. Right." Kendall immediately stops shaking his friend and lets her type on her phone. The four boys exchange giddy looks. Finally, Taylor looks up.
"The message has been sent," she announces.
"WEE HOO!" The guys cheer, Kendall and Logan high-five'ing.
"Now... we have to wait," Kelly says, taking a seat on one of the free cots.
James is not sure how long they've been waiting for Dustin to reply. He's starting to get nervous now and he doesn't like it. James Diamond never gets nervous before a performance. Why should now be any different? Oh, right. Because his whole (currently nonexistent) singing career could go right down the shitter at anytime.
James shifts uncomfortably, trying to relax. Because, ya know, it's not like he won't become famous now, right? How could he not be famous. I mean, look at him! He has the smile, the hair, and the smell (all thanks to 'Cuda), not to mention the golden voice. He's the total package!
"HOW LONG HAVE WE FUCKING BEEN WAITING?" James finally bursts. He sees Logan look down at his watch.
"3 minutes," the pale genius replies. James groans in frustration.
"It feels like three hours," the pretty boy whines.
"Be patient," Georgia says softly. "We'll be fine, Jam." James calms down visibly at the sound of his old nickname. Nobody's called him that since the 9th grade.
James nods. "Right. Thanks, Gigi." He sees Georgia's lips quirk into a smile from the corner of his eyes and can't help but grin too.
And then they're waiting again.
"Two hours, Ted!" James yells. "It's been two hours and we still haven't heard back from the guy!"
"James, you have to relax," Taylor says softly. "Things like this take time."
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME!" Gustavo snaps.
"I know..." Taylor replies nervously.
"Why don't you give us a tour of the Palmwoods while we wait for Dustin?" Georgia asks about 1/2 an hour later.
"You guys wanna go?" Logan asks his friends. Taylor and the guys shrug and nod.
"Why not?" Kendall says with a grin.
"To the Palmhoods!" Taylor exclaims.
"Woods," James corrects.
"To the Palmwoods!" Taylos exclaims, correctly this time.
"TO THE PALMWOODS," her friends chorus.
"Welcome to the P- oh, not you guys again!" Mr. Bitters groans as they walk in.
"Hi Mr. Bitters!" the boys chirp simultaneously.
"His name is actually Mr. Bitters?" Georgia whispers to James.
"Yeah. It's oddly fitting, don't you think?" James replies quietly. Georgia nods.
"Whaddaya think?" Kendall asks the girls, gesturing to the lobby.
"This," Taylor says, spinning around happily, "is amazing." And suddenly her foot catches on the edge of the carpet and she falls.
"You okay, Ted?" her friends ask simultaneously.
"I'm good," she mumbles into the carpet. Carlos chuckles, holding his hand out to his clumsy crush-turned-girlfriend. She takes his hand and he pulls her up easily. "Thanks, Carlos," she says with a smile.
"Do they realize how nauseatingly adorable they are?" Kendall whispers to Logan.
"Probably not," the older boy replies. In response, Kendall not-so-inconspicuously raises his camera (Logan has no idea where it came from though) and snaps a picture. Taylor and Carlos don't even notice the bright flash.
"See, that's how you know someone's into you," Kendall tells Logan.
"What do you mean?" the smart boy asks, glancing from the adorable couple to Kendall again.
"They don't even notice that we're here," Kendall explains. He looks to James and Georgia and realizes that they're making out in the middle of the lobby. "Even James is acting all gooey... They really make me feel bo-girlfriendless." If Logan notices Kendall's almost gender mix-up, he doesn't say anything. He smiles at the blond, nudging him playfully.
"Would you like to do me the honor of helping me drag these lovely couples apart?" the smart boy asks teasingly.
"Why, I'd love to!" Kendall replies eagerly.
Punches may or may not have flown within the next 5 minutes.
"Black eyes hurt," Logan moans, holding a frozen bag of peas up to his face.
"Tell me about it," Carlos says, nursing a wound of a similar nature.
"Thanks for the ice packs, Camille," the two men (yes, they are men now. Manly men who fight. At least, that's what James declared after he kneed a now less manly Kendall in the groin) hear Kendall's voice say from the crazy actress' kitchen.
"Of course, Kendall! I'm just... glad to see you can walk again," Camille says a bit awkwardly.
"I'm not so sure about that," Taylor tells her, jumping on the taller boy's back. The sound that comes out of Kendall's mouth closely resembles a cat who's tail has just been stepped on. "Sorry Ken!" Taylor says quickly, twisting a lock of her blonde hair around her index finger.
"No you're not," Kendall squeaks.
"Maybe you should sit down, Kendall," Georgia says nervously.
"I'm going to kill James when he gets out of the bathroom," Kendall says before he limps his way to the couch, taking his seat beside none other than Logan.
Of course.
"Nice shiner."
"So, you guys have to wait for this Dustin guy to reply now?" Camille asks after Taylor has finished explaining everything to her out of pure boredom.
"Pretty much," Taylor says. "BT-Dubs, how long has James been in the bathroom?"
"About ten minutes I'd say," Logan answers. Carlos giggles.
"I bet he's fixing his running mascara," the young Latino says.
"Why would his mascara be running?" Kendall asks, scratching the side of his head confusedly.
"Wait, James wears mascara?" Camille questions.
"We're not 100% sure," Taylor says, "but when Kendall kicked his shin he started crying."
"I kicked his shin?" Kendall asks.
"Yeah, you really nailed him too," Logan answers. "That's why he kneed you in the balls."
"Well, at least me kicking him in the shins didn't almost MAKE HIM PUKE!"
"Does a kick to the groin really hurt that much?" Georgia asks.
"Worse," James answers after he opens the bathroom door dramatically and waltzes his way to the couch.
"Yeah, I know," Kendall replies bitterly, glaring at his almost-too-pretty friend. Then he notices the small traces of mascara on his cheeks. Yup, scratch the almost part.
There's a silence then. The kind of silence heard (or not heard because it's silent) when someone farts in an elevator. You know, if it's a silent fart. Or maybe just the silence of the elevator ride scene in New Moon. That was pretty silent. But unlike that silence, this one isn't awkward.
"...Does Mama Knight know we're here?" Carlos asks suddenly.
"Oh shit!"
"I was worried sick!" Mama Knight scolds as soon as her teenage children (whether by blood or not) walk into the cotroom. Hey, there's no point in calling it a bedroom if there aren't even any beds!
"I know, Mama. Sorry," Kendall says guiltily. Mama Knight tries not to smile, but can't stop herself from hugging her son.
"Just don't let it happen ag- Wait, why are you limping?" she asks, peering at the blond boy.
"Ask James," Kendall says, pulling away from his mother to glare at James.
"NOT MY FAULT."
Kendall notices the alarmed look on his mother's face when she doesn't respond.
"What's the matter?" he asks worriedly.
"Why are you kids all bruised?" she asked, ignoring his question.
"Oh, we just got into a little brawl," Carlos answers nonchalantly.
"A brawl?"
"Yeah, no b-"
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Ted screeches, interrupting Carlos. At the odd look her boyfriend gives her, she smiles. "Dustin replied!"
"What'd he say?" everyone asks.
"YES!"
Haha long, meaningless chapter only to lead up to that! Review, whores!