Misaki looked around the freshly scoured penthouse for something to clean, but every square inch of the condo gleamed. The only room he hadn't touched was Usagi's office because his writer was in what Misaki liked to think of as full-on-writer mode. Onodera must have really helped the progress of Usagi's current process yesterday for him to get into that place at such an early stage in a project. Or maybe it was different since he was translating something he had already written.
After they returned home from the restaurant last night, Usagi hadn't even been compelled to stake his claim on Misaki with anything but a brief, searing kiss that left Misaki cursing himself for how badly his treacherous body craved more. It was just that Usagi had gotten him used to that kind of thing, he definitely didn't have any urge to stake a claim of his own. Even if Takano-san was interested, Usagi hadn't seemed to take any particular interest in the man. Thereafter, Usagi had locked himself in his office, and the distant clacking of the keyboard was the only sign that Misaki wasn't entirely alone in their home. The condo felt cavernously large and not for the first time, Misaki wished Usagi didn't feel the need for extravagance. Not that, by general Usami standards, the condo was extravagant in the least.
When it became clear that his writer wouldn't be coming out anytime soon, Misaki retreated to his bedroom and actually dared to take care of his own physical needs. It wasn't something he needed to handle on his own very often. Even on those occasions when he did, it seemed like Usagi had some kind of radar, and he would appear to first thoroughly embarrass Misaki and then offer what Misaki considered to be overly enthusiastic assistance. Misaki was almost grateful to have a little bit of true alone time, except that he found himself much less satisfied than he'd become accustomed to.
This morning, Misaki had awoken slowly and easily in his own bed, entirely unmolested, which meant that Usagi still focused deeply on his work, and likely continued making good progress. At least, based on the state of his bed, it looked like Usagi-san had slept at least a little. Misaki kept fresh coffee in the carafe and left nourishing finger foods on a tray nearby. Usagi took these things at irregular intervals, but generally when Misaki was off in another part of the house, which meant he wasn't interested in being distracted.
Finally, out of sheer desperation, Misaki had actually managed get substantially ahead of schedule on his school work before making dinner. Per their long-standing agreement, Usagi had come down to join him at the table, but as often happened when he was writing a lot, he was lost in his own world somewhere, not really present at all. Misaki served and cleared dinner without troubling the writer with too much conversation. Usagi's work was important, and this level of focus in his silver haired companion needed to be carefully guarded. If the creative mood broke at the wrong time, it was like the flow of words dammed up somehow and the writer's block would inspire increasingly eccentric behavior. And then the deadline dodging would begin. Given his role in the current set up with Marukawa, Misaki would feel responsible for nipping that in the bud if he could, and he wasn't sure he could handle that level of Usagi wrangling during his second week on the job at Emerald.
With little else to do, Misaki retreated to his room to reread more of The Khan. He'd been going back through the series from the beginning, reading with the input of the many notes Usagi had scattered through the text. Even as the fanboy that he was, there were nuances of characterization and story line that he hadn't picked up on before. Maybe it was just Usagi's interpretation, but Misaki found himself fascinated as much by that prospect as by the idea that he really had something new to find in a text he'd been over so many times.
When Misaki went to the bookshelf, he saw that one of his many booklets of "Akihiko Coupons" had migrated to lean in front of his manga. There was a note on the front that simply said "anytime, Misaki" and "anytime" was underlined with three bold strokes. Was this a game? Usagi's way of being tricky by ignoring him until he asked for attention? Misaki thought that unlikely given his lover's penchant to indulge any whim he might have. The thorough immersion in work must be real. Even if Usagi meant it – Misaki didn't doubt he did- "anytime" didn't take into account all the hell that would follow if he interrupted Usagi-san's writing. He'd cause problems for many people he cared about, not least Usagi-san himself, by doing such a thing. Usagi might be selfish enough not to mind that, but that only meant Misaki had to be cautious enough for both of them.
Still, Misaki flipped idly through the pages, wondering if he might find something he could actually use. The beginning of the book, of all the many copies of this book, was mostly bare at this point. That was where the easier things were, what Usagi had jokingly called "level one". Things like "go on a date" or "hold hands" and even "kiss me", which almost never stopped at that with Usagi. What was left? "Take a bath with me" Misaki might be able to handle actually presenting that one, but he didn't really want a bath at the moment. Everything else was far too overtly sexual.
Misaki's face felt hot just reading some of the little cards, and damn his body for taking an interest anyway. Some of these he had used before, but never without lead up and some insistent prompting from Usagi-san. Choosing between things Usagi usually liked to do to him when they were already being intimate felt almost natural at this point, especially when he didn't have to say the words aloud, but Misaki definitely could not just walk into Usagi's office and drop a coupon that said "lick me everywhere", which was just about the tamest option he had left. Even thinking about it made him feel so embarrassed that he hid his head under his pillow with a squeaking sound he felt quite glad no one else could hear.
Of course, as he browsed all the acts he could, theoretically, at least, request of Usagi, it didn't do a thing to ease his physical condition or his loneliness. Finally, he selected one of the very many versions of "do whatever you want to me" and pulled it carefully free of its page. Misaki quickly got ready for bed, picked up his manga and the coupon and slipped into Usagi's room. He wouldn't interrupt Usagi-san's work, but he'd sleep in the writer's bed tonight and leave the coupon on the nightstand. If Usagi saw it, fine. If he didn't, he might do whatever he wanted to anyway, and if neither of those things occurred, at least Misaki would be in the more comfortable of their two beds for the night.
"Onodera!" Ritsu looked up from his phone and saw that Hasegawa had come into the break room. "I hear you're working with Usami-sensei. I have to admit I'm a little jealous, but it's great to hear you're getting into literature again."
"Oh." Ritsu blushed a little. "He's amazing! I feel really lucky that I studied in England so I can help him a with his translation project. I mean, you read his work, and you know he's a genius, but the translation process is such a window into all the nuance he captures. How to do that in a completely different language for readers who don't share the same cultural cues, we really get deep into all the differently interpretations of each phrase. There's just so much there. Not to mention his English is beautiful, he's got this flawless British accent that gives me chills-"
A loud bang interrupted him and Ritsu nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked up from the daunting pile of paper that had just been slammed in front of him.
"If you have time to talk about how awesome Usami-sensei is, you have time to handle the slush pile this week." Said Takano, radiating a mood so foul Ritsu wondered if there might be an excuse not to go 'back up to Emerald, but he was already being dragged in that direction.
"See you later!" Hasegawa said, "I really do want to hear more about what Usami-sensei is like. I've been reading his work forever."
"Yeah, later." Ritsu called. When Takano had yanked him far enough down the hall he muttered. "For fucks sake, don't take your damn hang over out on me, Takano-san. It's not my fault you drank half a bottle of whiskey with Takahashi last night."
"Isn't it?" Takano muttered darkly, letting go of Ritsu's sleeve. "Just do your damn work. If all you're going to do is fanboy over Usami-sensei, why don't you just keep your mouth shut. If you don't want to work on manga anymore, just transfer out already."
"What?" Ritsu balked, puzzled. "I didn't ask for this assignment, and I'm not even trying to leave Emerald. I won't until I've mastered shojo manga editing. I already told you that. Is it a problem that I'm enjoying my work?"
"Sounds like that's not all you're enjoying." Takano gave a nasty smirk. "You'd better get through all of that before you leave tonight."
"Is this all because I said Usami-sensei has a sexy voice?" Ritsu hissed. He'd honestly been surprised at how chilly Takano had been towards Usami last night when he'd picked up Takahashi and left Onodera to ferry Takano's drunk ass home. When he'd mentioned working with Usami, Takano had fanboyed at least as hard as Ritsu just had about meeting with an author he'd admired for so long.
"Actually," Takano's tone was clipped, "you didn't say 'sexy' before, but yes, I gathered that's where your mind goes when he talks to you. This is about you and what you want and how long you're going to keep me crawling after you without giving me anything. Are you waiting for something better to come along? Just give up already. Usami might be like a fairy tale prince compared to me, but you won't find anyone who loves you more than I do."
A heavy workload normally made time pass quickly, but this day was dragging. Takano's foul mood wasn't limited to Ritsu. He was unusually hard on everyone, even given the fact that all kinds of things seemed to be going sideways and everyone's workload was heavier because of Ritsu's partial absence. Takahashi-kun worked hard, but as a brand new member of the team, there was only so much he could do.
Ritsu wasn't entirely sure, but he also thought Takano might be avoiding him. He'd noticed partway through the day that he hadn't had cause to dodge any inappropriately intimate moments. This was a great relief, and should have made it easier to focus on work, but Ritsu found himself lingering just a few seconds longer than necessary whenever he found himself alone in an out-of-the-way place. "Stop it!" He hissed at himself the third time he realized he'd been waiting for Takano to pay him special attention. "I definitely don't need to be missing that kind of thing." He shoved a hand through his hair and ducked around the corner to head back to his desk and nearly ran headlong into the very person he'd just been thinking of. He expected the usual molestation but Takano coolly stepped around him and called back over his shoulder "I'm heading out for the day."
Ritsu hoped, probably in vain that his surprise didn't show on his face. "Have a good night." He called out, cursing the slight tremor in his voice. "This is good." He muttered to himself. "Just focus on work."
Bare moments later, Kisa popped out of the Emerald doorway. "Is Takano-san gone?" he asked in a stage whisper.
Ritsu nodded.
"Finally. If he yelled at me one more time I seriously couldn't handle it. What is his problem today? I know he's not a fan of sharing you with literature but we've been through way more stressful times before you started and he never got this bad."
Ritsu shrugged. Kisa didn't need to know about his and Takano's non-relationship. There was nothing to know anyway. The whole office definitely felt more peaceful without an exceptionally agitated Takano hounding them all. That should have made it easier to concentrate, but Ritsu found himself wondering if Takano really was avoiding him and why. Was it really that big a deal for him to spend a day and a half out of the week working with another department? He hadn't thought it would be.
Takano stepped off the elevator, feeling a little bit calmer now that he didn't need to look at Onodera anymore, and nearly ran into Aikawa-san. His agitation was making him clumsy. How lame. Come to think of it, she definitely did a lot of projects with a certain aloof silver-blond. Maybe he could find out if he needed to worry. "Aikawa-san," he called out, "Do you have a moment?"
"Ah, yes."
Aikawa worked in romance, especially in BL, he could ask her this without fear of it causing problems. Let her think he was interested for himself. "I had the pleasure of meeting Usami-sensei recently."
"Oh, yes, that's right." She smiled.
"He's very handsome."
"He is." Aikawa laughed. "You can't find a guy like that even in your shojo manga, I bet."
"Right. Well." Takano looked down and, for once in his life, wished he blushed more easily. "do you know if he ever dates men?"
Aikawa blinked and then giggled. "What kind of editor would I be if I discussed something like that?" She teased. But her wide grin strongly suggested the affirmative.
"Thank you, Aikawa-san." Takano said, flashing her his most charming smile, "I'll take that under advisement."
"Oh, I didn't say anything." She demurred, but then her brow quirked in puzzlement. "I thought-" She said quietly and then shook her head. "Good night, Takano-san."
Ritsu didn't finish up work until well into the evening, and when he returned home, he found dinner on a tray in front of his door with messily scrawled note that said "don't forget to eat." He wasn't hungry, though, and his chest felt funny. He couldn't help but be annoyed at Takano for putting him through this nonsense. This was just more evidence that, no matter how he felt, they should certainly not get more involved. He'd thought Takano, despite many inappropriate moments, kept his work life and his personal feelings fairly well separated. He certainly didn't give Ritsu any preferential treatment, but this just proved how terrible a real romantic entanglement between them would be.
Ritsu unlocked his door and nudged the tray inside. There was no clean surface to set it on, so he slid it along the floor until he could sit against the wall he shared with Takano and listened, picking half-heartedly at the rice. No sounds came from next door for a long time and then there was a series of alarming thuds that seemed to be coming from the opposite side of the apartment.
Ritus's heart beat much faster than it should as he listened, but no other sounds came. He hovered, fingers twitching above his doorknob for a long moment. Takano's dark mood worried him, even if he didn't want to admit it.
He'd go over and talk to Takano and make him understand that there truly was nothing personal in his work with Usami. This situation was just proof that it wasn't at all suitable for them to be involved the way Takano wanted. Ritsu hadn't been strong enough to really tell Takano no before. Whatever he might or might not want to admit, Takano would always be his first, and probably his only love.
Ritsu had obviously been right to swear off love, though. His recent failure to follow through on that plan was due to his own personal weakness, and he owed it to Takano, but also to himself, to grow a pair and give up the childish notion that some fairy tale ending would ever be possible for the two of them. The tense knot in Ritsu's chest eased into a feeling of incredible lightness. He felt almost hollow, like he might float away and become a star in the cold night sky. He took a slow deep breath and stepped into the hallway to meet his fate.
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