Boss Rush: Tragedy
An LLS Production
Dedicated to DancingQueen21 for 150th review!
Dear James...
Tapping stopped as I looked at the words I have just typed. No, 'Dear' as a salutation will not do. Neither will anything else.
My finger hits the backspace and I rewrite what would be my first and only confession:
James...
I wonder, how does the average girl feel, writing a love letter by hand? The convenience of typing should not be underestimated. Yet... it is cold, impersonal, distant.
I debate between typing and writing.
Giving up, I switch off the program, and get out a fine pen and clean paper. One of the rougher foolscaps become my slate where I scribble several drafts. It is a while, but I finally have a rendition before I write the final copy:
James:
If you are reading this, then I have finally been taken by the spirits. Unlike what you have gone through in Lia Fáil, there is no return here. When we meet again, if we meet again, I will have truly become the Queen of Air and Darkness.
Over time, I will slowly lose what is left of my humanity. I will, of course, remain rational. However, I will no longer recognise compassion, or pity, or human love, except perhaps as something that does not quite belong to me. In short, I will completely revert to the Winter Queen. And then, I will truly be a monster.
Perhaps it would be best if I started from the beginning.
A small hesitation, before pen met paper once more.
"You can see me, child?"
Young, face still round with baby fat, the tiny Setsuka had been shoved in a dark blue nightgown. Unconsciously, the little girl wore it like her mother had worn her own; queenly and dignified, and certainly eerie for a child. Prim, proper, almost as soullessly beautiful as a doll. "You are here, are you not?" the girl asked with only the fearlessness that a child could have.
"There are many who cannot. You have quite the gift."
"Well, they're idiots. Idiots don't see what's in front of them."
The tiger grunted, sounding amused. "You would be a powerful little morsel."
"Mama says it's not polite to eat your hosts," Setsuka pointed out.
"True, very true. Then, my hostess, are you going to offer me something?"
"Rather rude, isn't it? You barge into my home and ask for something? Without a gift?"
"My apologies, I was lost. I was seeking... yes, of course."
A door being shut echoed slightly from beyond the nursery. "Setsuka?"
"That's Papa," Setsuka murmured in a conspiratorial whisper. "He can see you people as well. He's got so many with him!"
"Very well, my young hostess,"the tiger bowed. "I will see you again. You need only call me. My name is..."
I met Dewloren, Tiger King of the Ice Barrier when I was seven, two years after I began seeing spirits. He was a constant presence to a precocious child, even as Mother taught me the games that many would see as magic. I have been raised on much educational material and logic, hence myself. Either way, come the tragedy of that summer, I already knew the possibility of making a deal with the spirits...
"You called me," the white tiger was back, a haunting presence. "Little girl, why so sad?"
Dressed in mourning black this time, the young head and sole remaining member of the Shimotsuki house angrily clenched her fists and DuelDisk, where her cards were held. "Hello, Dewloren. How are you and the Ice Barrier? Papa and Mama died."
"I am very well, as is the tribe, if suffering from attacks. My deepest condolences for your progenitors."
"I want payback."
"You mean revenge."
"No," Setsuka's brow was furrowed in determination. "Payback. The Arcadia Movement is going to crumble without a leader. Without the Movement, the Elysium Circle, who was responsible, will dominate, and psychics will gather to them. Killing the parties responsible solves nothing. I will kill them, dismantle their organisation, all organisations, and place the Arcadia Movement at the top. The Movement will be the ones to lead psychics into coexistence with society, just like Mama... Mother would have wanted."
"How ambitious. Yet, what I know of mortals mean that they are unlikely to take notice of someone of your youth, no matter how powerful. And all human powers have limits. Perhaps, in a few more years..."
"That is why I want to make a deal," Setsuka gritted her teeth. "Time runs short. You are the Tiger King of the Ice Barrier, prince of a whole tribe. I want the power of the Ice Barrier. I want the power to make a difference, so that meaningless blood is not shed. So that we can see the things not yet seen."
"And what kind of sacrifice are you prepared to make for it?"
"Myself," Setsuka answered without hesitation. "You need sacrifices, but those sacrifices are not mine to give. Therefore, myself. The price is everything that I have to give – in other words, the price is myself. I only have myself, that I can I give of my own will. That's why, please, become mine."
"You play a hard bargain, little one."
"I want to see the things not yet seen. That's why I ask: Be my eyes, my light, my sword, augment my power to strike down those who would oppose me. When I am done, when the Arcadia Movement is recognised publicly, when the rights of psychics are beginning to be recognised by society, you may take me, but not before. I will keep my word, and can even replicate it in writing if you wish."
"Spoken like a Duel spirit."
"Nothing to do with that. This is a proven economic study of game theory."
"...excuse me?"
"To overcome plight, cooperation is necessary in order to reach a stable relationship."
"I am intrigued. You are obviously an intelligent entity. But I will have to consult the tribe. At this juncture... perhaps..."
"I am an advocate of faithful contracts. I will keep my word. I don't want to coerce you, since things gained from force will not last a single night," Setsuka nodded. "Your tribe is fighting a war, after all."
"Perhaps... we can reach an agreement, little one. I will make you a general, and you will help us with the war. Once the war is over, our agreement will be null and void. In exchange, my tribe and I shall serve you until need be, you who hold that vast, familiar power. Swear it, little girl. Swear it upon your name."
"I swear it upon my name as Shimotsuki Setsuka, that I will honour this agreement."
Cold power, cold and heavy and implacable as a glacier rumbled, diamond dust gathering in the wake of north winds that brought chill to neither of them, even as her eyes glowed.
Dewloren's eyes widened. "So you are she. I swear, upon the honour of the Ice Barrier, that the agreement shall be fulfilled as the Movement finds the light."
Setsuka's blue lips parted as a steady stream of steamy breath wavered. "So mote it be."
"Contract sealed... Mistress."
It was an unwise choice, I admit, but mere psychic powers would not have helped me.
If I had not insisted on going after the Elysium Circle, perhaps things would have been different. Maybe; I do not know.
My agreement with Dewloren was thus; I would receive the not-inconsiderable power of the Ice Barrier, and I would be able to use it for my own ends. I was a powerful psychic at five already; imagine a nine-year-old, a headstrong and precocious psychic, with that power. I was sought after, so much that my parents died to protect me. I made it, fully prepared to die if it would mean that no child would ever have to lose their childhood or family due to an unfortunate genetic accident.
Something happened, I do not know what. There are forces beyond the control of mortals in this world. Some call it magic, some luck, some fate. Very few know what it really is. And those few, it, whatever 'it' may be, will never change. Soon, still retaining my self as a human with emotions to laugh, cry and sympathise, I was arranging matters to take care of the Arcadia Movement. Fudo Ryuusei rather accelerated my schedule, and then...
I left.
The stronghold of Lia Fáil was a fortress of black ice, an enormous, shadowy thing sitting high up the slope of the highest of the Mountains in sight. A single, elegant spire rose above the rest of the structure, towards where the Aurora Borealis played out over velvet-blue skies, the stars tiny pockets of glitter here and there. Flickers of green, blues and amethyst played within the ice of the walls. The walls and battlements were lined with inverted icicles, even the portcullis. Like the jaws of hungry predators.
The Ice Barrier had seized it this day, and the inside was as resplendent as Lia Fáil gave of its external look. Soulless and white, the crystal walls, floors, ceilings sparkled with colours thrown here and there, and even more magnificent was the parapet.
The parapet was enormous, thirty metres or so across, twice as wide as many other parapets of the human world and enough to form a bizarre garden. Ice covered the parapet, formed into ghostly trees and flowers. There were seats here and there in the garden, and they too were made of ice.
A frozen fountain stood silent at the centre of the parapet, a bare trickle of water sliding from the top of a statue so coated in layers and layers of frosted ice that one could not readily identify its particulars. Replica rose vines and thorns spread all around the place, all ice in a way, all cold and beautiful, and some seemed to glitter with their own light as the fountain's trickle washed out over to form a large, empty frosted-over lake upon which a single, elegant throne stood on a dais by the fountain.
Upon the branch of a nearby tree perched a cardinal, its blood-red feathers brilliant though the bird itself was utterly still. Not far from it, a spider's web spread between some tree branches, the spider at its centre transformed into ice statuary. A swift look around showed more beings entombed in ice around the throne in various gestures; this place was definitely not a garden, and had not been.
This was Forradh, the royal seat of the Winter Court, and here was where the Queen of Winter held her throne.
"My Queen?" Dewloren had appeared, spattered in fluids of so many colours that it could only be blood, though none of the colours got to his fur. He was not alone; three men loomed behind the tiger prince. One wore a complete suit of armour of blue-tinted ice, elaborate and draconian. Another left his chest and torso bare, only wearing green pants and a yellow sash with a few choice accessories including a forearm band, each discreetly bearing the hexagonal symbol of the Ice Barrier, around which ice began to crystallise. The last wore his black hair long, with long-sleeved robes of light blue under a changshan of darker blue with a tasselled hat similar to a fez in construction of the same shade of blue. All of them stood at attention before the throne she was upon. "The Tiger King and the Three Generals declare themselves to Her Majesty the Queen of Air and Darkness."
She sat calmly, dressed in a casual long-sleeved high-cut dress of dark blue with skirt, plenty of elegant little diamonds along her neck, ears, throat and wrists. Her long black hair was bound up into a braided bun, held in place with ivory sticks decorated with lapis lazuli and magnificent as any crown. Her skin made the white-covered parapet seem a bit sallow in comparison, and her legs were crossed one over the other, her feet shod in blue ballet flats. It had taken quite something of a talented seamstress to get exactly the clothes required. She was also in the midst of a perusal of a report that seemed composed of scraps of paper.
Above head, a pure white bird glared balefully at them.
"Your Majesty," they chorused.
She coughed. "I am glad to see that my generals still have regard for this throne, even if not for me personally."
All three generals shifted warily.
"Shall we begin?" Setsuka looked at them. "Grunard."
The most heavily armoured general stepped out.
"For once I will not ask how your report turned up in scraps, but I applaud your decisive victory at the Pass of the Sogen."
"Thank you, My Queen."
"That will be all."
He stepped back.
"Gantala."
The top-less General stepped out, standing at attention.
"Although I am displeased with you for disobeying my orders, for once you have contained the consequences of your actions yourself in offering the Magical Citadel of Endymion the aegis of Winter, a move which I approve of," she began. "Endymion brings word that the Spellcasters will indeed see fit to ally more with Winter in the near future."
"Thank you, My Queen."
"However, you are not exempt from punishment. For ten weeks you will be confined to the castle guard duty. Is that clear?"
"Yes, My Queen."
"Good. I hope to see some more diplomatic tact being exhibited. Just because we are the greater power now does not mean that it is right to step down on every insect. For one thing, it makes relations even more difficult. Stand down."
Gantala retreated as the last bipedal spirit stood forward next.
"Raiho, progress on the agricultural plan."
"The first turn of green shows, My Queen. Your plan and its basis on the four-turn rotation is indeed correct. We expect a harvest three times the size of the last, and more are praising our Queen."
"Raiho, arrange with the Dai-sojo later that potatoes and other crops be included in the taxation on the harvests. Any excess foods are also to be bought cheaply, or given freely, for the army. I anticipate that because of certain peoples-" here two out of three generals were given the gimlet eye, "-who cannot seem to stop fighting. Also, concerning the households, may I ask why has the court been allocated such a large budget?"
"Socialisation is a key aspect that the monarch must oversee."
"Not for the next two years, on my estimate. Halve the court budget for the next two years. We can use the excess for public works projects, and any excess may be returned to the court for when we are actively holding functions."
"Very good, My Queen. But why half?"
"The other half, my dearest general of the Queen's Household, is for the retinue of guards that actively hang around me despite my greatest effort to convince them otherwise. And for my armour. I do intend to hold functions, but amongst the tribe first. Surely you do not intend to allow your monarch without practice? I am unfamiliar with the ways of spirits, and I would rather not offend our allies."
"Of course. My mistake. I shall see to it immediately after."
"Very good. My generals, dismissed. Dewloren, a word."
"You have gained practice, Your Majesty," Dewloren rumbled.
"Here, Dewloren, is where I proceed to pepper you with incessant question regarding the fact that I was dragged from my home in the human realm, into a castle, of all places, and told that I am to be crowned queen of the Ice Barrier and Winter," Setsuka cut in. "You may proceed to answer."
"You are angry. I do not understand."
"I do not understand why you have chosen to retain the greatest authority and power of your tribe in the hands of a barely grown mortal, as you would say, instead of giving just due. Power, Dewloren. You said it that you prize it above others. Then why am I here?"
"Because you are the Queen of Air and Darkness, and you have reincarnated. My apologies for keeping such news of grave import earlier."
"There are additional matters you have neglected to inform me of. Tell me."
"You are the Winter Queen. You have always been her. You will be one of two who have the power to overrule the previous monarch's call and end this war."
"Why me?"
"Perhaps... it is fated."
More debate, where I pondered about the reasons for chewed pencils, before I continued writing.
I have not mentioned how those years, or days in the human realm, went in the Spirit Realms. I was a Queen amongst spirits; distant and feared, respected yet kept at arm's length. I do not care, I think. It would be a lie if I said that I did not miss you. Yet, there were other thoughts that occupied my mind during those six years, or three months in the human world.
Soon, Fudo Ryuusei will know what it means, to be my counterpart; it would mean that he would become my arch-enemy, I suppose. Do not blame him. Please. He is ignorant, but faultless.
I must confess; my recent coldness will not be my own. The mantle of power of Maeve and Titania are something alive, powerful, transcendent; whoever holds it will truly become the Summer or Winter monarch in personality and body, as well as mind. As you could probably have noticed, I slowly lost compassion, humanity or regard for life as months passed.
I was scared. I am scared.
Where did that come from? I stop, debating to erase it or continue. I meant it as a letter to James. It would not do for him to know that I do feel fear.
Will it?
We met in Sydney at seven, perhaps eight. You were the first to be upfront when the news of Mother and Father came through. You were there for me. Even though I regularly abused you, you came back. There are no words for my regard of you. I want you to say something, but you would say the wrong something, and yet I cannot hold it against you, for you are naïve in the way that Mother and Father have never been, that I have been taught to disprove at all costs. You were eight, I was seven. Barely six hours after that accidental bank robbery, you proposed. I thought about it, you know. When we swore ourselves to each other, I meant it. I give you my oath again, that while the Winter Queen will have my soul, you shall have my will.
More debate. How do people do this? How do they pen down their feelings for others to read and therefore provide kindling for their own stakes? The medium of language is a double-edged one.
Please, hear me. I have never been able to give you very much. We never had that kind of time. But, your freedom... I can give that. You're going to be fine, you were always going to be fine. You have everything you need with you. This is something I can do for you, something I can finally give you without the taint of my family's fortune dogging it. So, if you want to return the favour, give me the comfort of knowing you are safe. Let me go, with the knowledge that there was someone who loved me. Someone who will remember me. Not as the Cold Queen, not as the dark shadow of fear across the world, but as Shimotsuki Setsuka.
I have settled my affairs with the various firms dealing with the Movement. My successor will be Nakamura-san, and failing that, I trust you to carry on. Funds have been left to support the Movement, do mind to be prudent with them.
Attached to this letter is the household register, leaving your name and my own. If you will, you may claim it as truth or fiction. I will never say those three words you wish to hear; I am not so irresponsible. I will express it with regard to my actions. That has been my happiness all along. You have been my happiness. Even though we were never meant to stay together, even though we never had it all, the time spent with you was the greatest gift I ever received. I do not think of myself as having suffered.
Ye are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone. I give ye my body, that we two might be one. I give ye my spirit, 'til our life shall be done. You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself. But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me, for I am a free person, but I shall serve you in those ways you require. I shall be a shield for your back, as you are for mine. Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honour you through this life and into the next.
So, even as I lose myself, as I become another soulless monster, thank you. The greatest distance divides us, not because you are oblivious to my love, when I stand in front of you; but because we love each other, knowing fate will forever keep us apart.
I am, ever yours,
Shimotsuki Setsuka
I read, and reread the letter, making sure that the main things I wish to communicate are present. There are too many things that are inadequate for a letter, hence I am limited. I can only hope that James will get it. He will, of course. I wish... that we could have had more time together.
I wonder what would be his opinion, as I seal the envelope and lock it away. I hope I never find out.
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