I'm simply overwhelmed by all the wonderful comments. I was slightly worried people would find it a bit too soppy, I was afraid I'd get negative comments about the scene between Adam and Daniel, especially since I had Daniel on Adam's lap, but the complete opposite happened. And although I still maintain I'll write the story the way I see it, it's great to hear people see things the same way.

Thanks everyone for the reviews. Also a big thank you for the support on the issue I chose for Crane to get worked up about.

This chapter is a shorter one. I've written more, but this was where I felt I needed to stop the chapter.

Chapter 17

Adam liked this time of night. All the boys were asleep, the house was quiet and he and Brian were enjoying a cold beer on the porch. It was December, but not only was this California, it was also a mild December so far. They had their coats on, but were quite comfortable on the porch. Brian was sitting on the bench, left foot on the bench and the right one on the floor, his back against the armrest. Adam was leaning against the porch rail, looking out over the land. It was a clear night and the moon and stars gave enough light for him to see. They hadn't even turned on the porch light.

"So you and Daniel talked?"

"Yeah we did," Adam didn't look up. He could still feel the young teenager in his arms. "We had a good talk and a big hug. We're good."

"Until English tomorrow," Brian said dryly.

"Yeah, that'll probably be uncomfortable," Adam winced slightly. He felt the weight of the guilt over his decisions on his shoulders. "Damn it. I should never have started something with one of their teachers."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're allowed to date, you know." Brian rested his beer on his knee and looked at his older brother. "No one said you had to take a vow of chastity."

"I know. But I should have been smarter."

"So you liked a girl. Hell, I was happy you did. It was good to see you falling for someone. And this town is so small, it doesn't matter who you date, it can always get awkward. Because word gets out. Trust someone who knows all about gossip."

"I'm so sorry she said that."

"You didn't say it, did you?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why apologize?"

"Because I brought her here, Brian. I brought someone I barely knew home."

"So you misjudged her. That happens. It's not the end of the world. She's Daniel's teacher not someone you picked up on the street or in the bar."

"I never said that meeting a girl in a bar was wrong, bro," Adam turned around and now leaned with his back against the porch rail so he could look at Brian. Despite Brian's relaxed posture, there was a tension in his brother.

"Well, I remember some arguments about that."

It was clear to Adam that Brian was not looking him in the eye as he spoke and that told him not all was well between them. "I may have said some things in the past. Mainly because I worry about you. But I don't think worse of you because of it."

"Your girlfriend seems to do just that."

"She's not my girlfriend anymore. We won't see each other again."

"You sure about that? I mean…you liked her enough to invite her home and after a few comments you break up with her? I saw her standing in our living room. She looked devastated."

Adam shook his head, "All I could see was your face. You may think you're good at hiding your hurt, but not that good that I didn't see it."

"So? We already established that you feel the same. So why can't she say what you feel?"

Brian's calm voice did nothing to convince Adam his brother didn't care. "Because I don't think you're a womanizer and a drunk!"

"You just think I'm an irresponsible party animal who would rather date a different girl every week and spend every night in the bar drinking than being at home."

"Of course I don't think that, Bri. That's the problem. I know you're a great guy. You're responsible, dependable and kind. You're much wiser and patient than I am. That's why I don't understand why you do what you do."

"I'm young, Adam. Unlike you, I refuse to grow old before my time. I like to enjoy life a bit. There's time to settle down later. Besides, you've just proven how difficult it is to settle down while the boys are still growing up. So I might as well enjoy some feminine companionship without strings attached."

"Do the girls know there are no strings?"

"Of course! Who do you think I am."

"I know who you are, but I've just had a lesson in communication. Not just with Emily, but with Daniel as well. So I know how easy it is to get your wires crossed. That's all I'm worried about. And…"

"You have nothing to worry about, Adam. I'm not one of the kids okay? I'm a grown man and go out on dates and with friends. Nothing wrong with that. If mom and dad had lived you would have done the same thing right now."

"Maybe, but we'll never know. Because they didn't live. And I have a responsibility. I don't have the luxury you have."

"I took on the same responsibility. I thought you knew that."

Adam took a deep breath, realizing he'd yet again said the wrong thing. Why couldn't he ever get it right with Brian? "I know. Brian, I know I couldn't have done this without you. I know I wasn't the only one who gave up their future, who didn't go to college to take care of his brothers. I know what you sacrificed. And I hate that I needed you so much that I couldn't encourage you to do it anyway, the way we did with Crane. And I still can't do it without you. Damn it, others may not see it but I do. So please, don't twist my words to mean something they didn't. For me it's a legal obligation, for you it's a moral and a practical one."

"And you feel responsible for my choice?" Brian turned his body and put his left foot on the floor as well as he intently looked at Adam. "You do, don't you?"

"Because I am, Brian! I was your guardian as well. I'm the oldest. You were a minor."

"When they died…technically, you were too."

"I know, but within two months I wasn't and you still had more than a year to go. It was made perfectly clear to me that I was responsible for you finishing high school, for you not getting in trouble. Brian, no matter how old you get, you're my little brother. Just as Crane is. As Daniel is. As they all are. And I know you're an adult and I know you have the right to make your own choices. But you'll always be my little brother and that means I'll always try to look out for you. And I'll always worry about you."

Brian looked down at his hands holding the bottle of beer and thought about his reaction to those words. Part of him resented that Adam felt that way. Not just because he was an adult and didn't need his big brother looking over his shoulder, but also because Adam didn't need the extra burden. There was also a part that felt warmed by Adam's words. It felt good that Adam needed him. It felt good that Adam knew that Adam wasn't the only one who had given up his teenage dreams. He sighed. "I really wish you didn't worry so much."

"Can't help it. I still hear mom's words to me when we were growing up: 'he's littler than you, Adam, you have to be careful. You have to be the big brother.' It's ingrained in my brain, in my entire being. I can't stop worrying."

"Okay, I can't stop you. But I can't stop going out and have some fun either. Just because you deny yourself that, doesn't mean I should."

"I know, and I'm not saying that. I just worry about your reputation. I worry about you drinking and getting behind the wheel. I worry about you getting into a fight in the bar."

Brian had to grin a little at that, "Well...like Dad always said: sometimes a man has to fight."

Adam, too, laughed a little, "Yeah, I know. But mom never agreed with him."

"No she didn't." Brian gave his brother a hard look as he got to his feet, "You say you're worried about my reputation. Is that a roundabout way of saying that if I hadn't built myself such a reputation your girlfriend wouldn't have jumped to conclusions about me? That I brought it all upon myself?" The question may have sounded cold but there was hurt behind it. And insecurity. And fear. But he wouldn't voice that.

"Of course not!" Adam said vehemently, "she simply had no right to say what she did. And I'd never say that. And she's NOT my girlfriend." He lowered his voice, mindful of the sleeping boys upstairs and inside on the sofa, "I would never date someone who hurts my family."

Brian shook his head, "You overprotective idiot."

"You can say what you want, call me what you want, but I won't change my mind."

"She can't hurt me, Adam."

"I saw your face. I know you were hurt."

"You saw wrong….I was hurt because I thought it was what you thought. I don't care about her. I care about you. I care about what you think of me. And I think you've made it clear what you think of me."

"I think the world of you. You're a great guy."

"Yeah yeah…let's not get all soppy here okay."

A wicked grin appeared on Adam's face. He pushed himself away from the rail and took two steps in Brian's direction. He pulled his brother into a strong hug, "I love you, little brother, and I'm proud of you. And grateful to you. Don't ever think any different."

Unlike Daniel Brian didn't melt into the hug, but he did surprise himself and Adam by returning it. He slapped his brother on the back before pulling back, "Okay…that was different."

"You're the one who told me it was good to hug."

"I really should stop telling you stuff about me. And about the past.

Adam shrugged a little, "I'm glad you did. It helped me with Daniel."

"Glad to hear it. You two needed a little help there."

Adam couldn't help the wry smile, "No kidding." Neither of them mentioned the hug he'd given Brian. It wasn't something they talked about with ease. But he felt good having done it. "I think I'm heading up. Morning comes early."

"I'll finish my beer and lock up. You go up." Brian watched Adam go inside and then looked out into the dark, breathing in the night air for a few more minutes. Their talk had shaken him more than he was willing to admit. It had also given him a lot of food for thought. There was still a lot unsaid between the two. Then again, neither would probably have thought of the things that needed to be said, mostly because they didn't completely realize why they did the things they did, especially Brian.

"I tell you, Adam was really, really mad at her," Ford had his arms on the back of the seat in front of him so he could talk to his brothers. Guthrie, next to him, was doing the same thing.

"If Adam saw you, he'd tell you to sit on your backside and be safe," Daniel scolded, "And you've told us that three times already. Still doesn't mean it's over."

"Yes, it is," Guthrie was sure of it. "He took her home and then he didn't even talk about her anymore when he got back. She said mean things about Brian."

"Why on earth would she be mean about Brian?" That part baffled Evan. "I mean…she doesn't even know him."

"I don't know…something about his going out."

"It's cause of his drinking and dating," Ford said in that manner all 12 year olds have when they talk like little adults when they're really not.

"How would she know?!" Evan got a bit defensive when it came to Brian.

"Because," Ford said almost patiently as if he was talking to a child, "word gets around. Don't you think the girls he dates don't talk about it? Miss Morgan is pretty much their age. And then there's the people in the stores. There's Marie at the diner. I bet the teachers at school even talk about him during lunch."

"No way!" Evan turned around, "And don't talk to me like that. I can still pound you, you know!"

"I'd like to see you try," Ford laughed. The two were pretty much even in size and weight. And Ford may usually be cheerful as can be, he held his own when it came to fighting.

Daniel immediately spoke up, knowing these two could easily start a real fight, right in the bus, and he had no intention of being thrown off the bus for weeks. Charlie, their bus driver, had done it before, only for a week, but it had been a long week! "Hey, there'll be no fighting. You guys wanna explain to Adam and Brian why we're kicked off the bus? You know what Charlie said last time."

"Yeah!" Guthrie piped up, "He said we wouldn't get back on the bus for a whole month!"

"Oh yeah," Ford immediately backed down, "I've got a pretty good record with Adam this school year. I'd like to keep it that way."

"So," Evan looked at Daniel, "You got English today?"

"Yeah, third period." Daniel sighed, "Great. Worse than your big brother dating your teacher is your big brother breaking up with your teacher. Wanna bet she'll flunk me for the test we've got?"

"Either because she wants to get back at Adam or because she's hoping he'll come to school again."

Daniel groaned at Ford's words. "oh God, kill me now!"

"No can do," Evan grinned, "We're on the bus. Charlie doesn't like a mess on his bus and killing you would probably make a big mess."

"You're so funny…..NOT!" Daniel scowled, but he wasn't mad at his brother. He was just worried about English and Miss Morgan.

As it was, he needn't have worried. Or maybe he should have. Because when third period came around, Miss Morgan wasn't in her class room. Instead, the vice principal came in and told them that Miss Morgan had called in sick. There was no substitute at the moment so they all got to work on their homework while he supervised and worked on his own files. At the moment, Daniel was just relieved he didn't have to deal with an upset teacher, but later on the bus home the boy wondered if she'd called in sick because she was too upset over the break up and there was a part of him that felt sorry for her. Being dumped by Adam couldn't be fun.

"How'd you do?"

Crane turned his head to look at the young man behind him. He shrugged, "I never know. It felt ok. I guess I knew most of the questions."

David groaned, "That means you've probably aced it."

"You don't know that!"

"Yeah I do. I've seen you do it over midterms. You kept saying you weren't sure, you probably did ok, and then you had top marks."

"Well, I do have a scholarship to keep in mind. It depends on good grades," Crane defended himself, "And I am not lying, I honestly am not sure."

"Hey, no need to get defensive, buddy," David laughed, "I think you need to feel more secure. You study hard, you prepare for every class, you deserve good drags. You work hard enough for them."

It was Crane's turn to laugh, "Well, I guess I can't help myself. I love it here."

"You going out to celebrate?"

"Nuh uh, we may have tomorrow off, but Wednesday there's Principles of Psychology AND Biology. I'm hitting the books straight away."

"Suuuure" David's tone was teasing, "and you won't be seeing June at all…."

"I don't know what you're getting at, man, she's just a friend."

"So you're going to study together…."

"Well, she is in my psychology class. So yeah, it makes sense to study together."

"Hmm….hope they teach about safe sex in that class."

Crane gave his friend a little push, "You can stop that thought right there. I'm not having sex with her. I'm not like that. Like I said, we're friends."

"Okay, okay…if you're blind to her beauty…mind if I ask her out?"

"You? She wouldn't say yes if you were the last man on earth. You've got quite the reputation with girls already."

"Who me?" David pretended an arrow hit him square in the chest and pulled it out, holding out his empty hand to Crane, "That hurt, man. I just have trouble choosing…they're all so lovely and soft and beautiful…"

"Yeah yeah….didn't you have a history exam to study for?"

David sighed heavily and let his shoulders drop like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, "I know….did you have to remind me?"

"That's what a good friend does, Dav: protect you against yourself."

"Okay, fine, but after the exams are done you and I are doing to party!"

"If I'm still standing by then." Crane wasn't ready to commit to a big party yet. He'd gone out a few times since Thanksgiving. He'd had a beer or two. But he hadn't really partied.

Just then David spotted his latest conquest and he waved at her, "see you later, pal, I gotta…" what he had to, he never said, because he was off leaving Crane alone to head back to his dorm and his studies. June was meeting him later that day for supper. After supper they had plans. Plans he had no intention of sharing with David. David was a great guy, but he wasn't sure the guy could keep his mouth shut. He probably could, but Crane wasn't going to take the risk. He'd already accepted that he'd be in trouble if they succeeded, but he wasn't going to get caught before they had what they needed. And he knew June felt the same way.

As he passed the phone in the hall way of his dorm he sighed. He'd promised Adam to call after his first exam, but he didn't really want to. Adam was bound to bring up the whole thing about the teacher again and Crane was sure his big brother had realized Crane had never really made the requested (ordered?) promise. So Adam was bound to come back to that 'request' a little forcefully this time. It was one thing in Crane's mind to avoid making a promise and actually promising not to do something and then go around and do it anyway. He wished he'd never brought up the entire thing with Adam. It was easier to apologize later.

Instead of picking up the phone Crane continued to walk on to his room and hit the books. Smart as he was, it never occurred to him that he was already breaking a promise by not calling. Nor did he realize that not calling would worry those back at the ranch. He simply wasn't used to having people worry about him.

And worry they did. Not right away of course. Adam never did expect a phone call right after the exam. He didn't even know what time Crane had it. He didn't expect it before supper time. But by the time it was 8 pm he was looking at the phone and the clock and back at the phone every 5 minutes. Another half hour and he glanced at Brian who just shrugged.

"Maybe he's relaxing with friends," was the younger brother's answer.

"Maybe….Daniel, time to head up."

"Aw Adam, I wanna talk to Crane." Daniel hated the whine in his voice, but he had been looking forward to this phone call ever since Crane's last call on Friday and after the weekend they'd had, he had things to talk to Crane about. Brian and Adam's Christmas present the last on the list.

"If he…when he calls, it's to talk about his exams, buddy, you'll get your chance for your chat on Friday. So….it's bedtime." Adam wasn't one to budge on bedtimes. Ever.

"Don't you think that 8:30 is early? On Saturday I get to stay up till 9 and I still get up the same time."

"Hmmm," Adam pretended to think about it, "Of course, we could always change your bedtime on Saturday to 8:30 like on school nights."

Daniel got to his feet. He scowled a little, but wasn't too put out. He never fussed much about going to bed, unlike Evan, and even Ford at times. "Never mind. I'm actually really…" he faked a yawn, "really tired."

"Night kid," Brian smiled and gave him a hug.

"Night, Brian, night Adam," Daniel gave his oldest brother a quick hug too, allowing the kiss on his forehead without too much fuss.

"Night, Danny," Adam whispered in his ear and then released the boy and watched him go up the stairs two steps at a time.

The man's attention immediately went back to the phone. "He promised he'd call."

"I'm sure he'll keep his promise."

"I know. He's never broken a promise before."

"What exactly did he promise?"

Adam thought about it for a moment, "He said he'd call after his first exam."

"Well," Brian rubbed his chin, "technically, tomorrow is still after the exam."

Adam's eyebrow rose till it almost met his hairline, "No way! He wouldn't play word games like that."

Brian wasn't so sure, "He did over the other promise, last Friday."

That thought made Adam's eyes darken, "He'd better call."

They stared at the phone for a few more minutes before Brian got up, "I'll make some coffee."

"Yeah…." Adam didn't look up from the phone, willing the thing to ring.

When Brian returned a little while later with two mugs of coffee he just caught Adam hanging up the phone. "Who was that?" There was no reply. "You didn't call Crane, did you?" Still no reply. "You did!"

"Well, I wasn't gonna sit here and just wait till he decides to call," Adam's tone was defensive.

"He's 18 and the night's not over yet."

"No, but it might as well be," Adam took one of the mugs from Brian, although the man didn't exactly offer it, "He wasn't there. The guy that answered the phone said he'd just seen Crane leave with a girl."

"Oookay…."

"It's almost 9 pm and he's going out? He should be studying and getting an early night."

Despite his own concerns, that remark made Brian laugh out loud, "Okay, now you're really overreacting, bud."

"It's exam time. That's not the time to go out and party."

"Who says he's partying?"

"He's out with a girl!"

"So? I'm glad he's over that other girl and moved on."

"What if it's the same girl?"

"He wouldn't. He's got more sense than that. He broke up with her, remember?"

"Yeah, but he wasn't completely over her."

"I doubt it's the same girl. Come on, sit down, drink your coffee and relax." To set an example Brian turned on the tv and sat down on the sofa.

"I can't relax! How can you sit there when that boy is breaking his promise to call home after his exams? If he breaks one promise he's capable of breaking more. He could be up to all sorts of things. When he should be studying and keeping his promise to call home."

"He might still call."

Adam harrumphed, "Yeah right. He's had plenty of opportunity." The man was pacing up and down. "I'm gonna kill him. I swear, I'm gonna wring his neck!"

"No, you won't. You'll yell at him, but that's it. He's 18, he's in college. He's just had his first final, he's letting off steam a little and has completely forgotten about us. That's not very nice, but it's hardly a crime. We would probably have done the same."

"Yeah, and then mom would have given us the guilt trip from hell and dad would have worn out butts out." Adam angrily sipped his coffee.

Brian laughed, "No, he wouldn't have. He'd have yelled at us a bit, mostly to appease mom, and that would have been it."

"Still means I get to yell."

"Yes, you'll get to yell at the boy. Does that make you happy?"

"No, not really. Hearing from him would."

"You worry too much, bro, you really do." Brian leaned back in his chair. Inside he was doing some yelling of his own. If Crane had been there he'd have been surprised to find Brian yelling the loudest. But with Adam this worried, Brian knew it was better not to voice his own worry or anger. Instead he turned on the tv, "M*A*S*H is about to start."

"I don't feel like watching," but at the show's unforgettable opening song Adam did allow himself to be somewhat distracted, he did like the looks of 'Hot Lips".